Chapter 62
Did he know and say that on purpose? Or was I just overthinking? But I knew Han Jaemin well. He was the type to say something like that exactly because he knew what it meant. I shoved the thought that had been gnawing at me all day out of my head and stood up.
“Chanhee, are you ready?”
Yu Hyunjae’s voice came from outside the door. I hurriedly threw on my jacket and opened it. Seeing his usual, unchanged expression strangely calmed me.
“Sorry. Did you wait long?”
“Not really. Let’s go.”
We walked down the stairs to the second floor together. I could sense a subtle excitement from Yu Hyunjae. I smiled without meaning to.
“You look really happy.”
“Huh?”
Yu Hyunjae looked slightly surprised, then chuckled awkwardly.
“Does it show?”
“Yeah, totally.”
“I’m just happy because I’m going out with you.”
I scratched the back of my head and walked ahead. As we passed through the first-floor hallway, my mother’s voice reached me.
“You’re leaving without eating?”
“We’ll eat out.”
A sharp tone slipped out before I could stop it. My mother didn’t say anything else—she just stood there, watching me. It wasn’t an angry or resentful expression, just the complicated, indescribable look of a parent. It made me feel uneasy.
“…I’ll be back early.”
Snicker. A laugh came from beside me. Yu Hyunjae was covering his mouth, looking down at me. I quickly strode out of the hallway and opened the front door.
“Why are you laughing?”
“No reason.”
“No reason?”
“You’re cute.”
Before I could retort, the elevator doors opened. The word cute lingered in my ears, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else.
“Your ears are red, Chanhee.”
“Shut up.”
My blunt reply only seemed to amuse him more.
“But why did you tell me to clear my schedule for a whole week?”
Yu Hyunjae asked, genuinely curious. I ignored the prickling in my chest and answered casually.
“Because I want to spend the whole week with you.”
Yu Hyunjae didn’t respond.
“…Why?”
“Why what?”
I glanced at him. His face wasn’t exactly happy—it was closer to something fearful. I fumbled for an excuse.
“You said so yourself. That we should be the kind of couple who goes for walks when I ask, or does whatever I say, right?”
“…Yeah, that’s true.”
“So that’s what I’m doing.”
“You’re really sure there’s no other reason?”
Yu Hyunjae asked, seeking confirmation.
“Yeah.”
I answered nonchalantly, as if it were the truth. A perfect act. I didn’t even feel the pang of guilt like I used to. Our gazes locked in the air for a long moment. The elevator had just reached the first floor, chiming cheerfully as the doors opened.
“Okay.”
Yu Hyunjae replied and held out his hand. I took it, and we stepped out of the elevator.
***
We did everything a typical high school couple might do. We ate together, stopped by an arcade, took sticker photos, and scribbled on them. As Yu Hyunjae doodled on the photo, he drew horns on my head.
“Hey, that looks weird.”
“Why? It suits you.”
“Wow, you’re really messing with me.”
Yu Hyunjae grinned and added a devil’s tail for good measure. It was probably half a joke, but knowing how much he’d suffered because of me, I couldn’t bring myself to complain. While the photos printed, we tried the arcade games—basketball toss, puzzle-solving, motorcycle racing—simple things I’d never done before. I fumbled through all of them. Yu Hyunjae, on the other hand, played skillfully and beat me every time.
“Have you been to arcades a lot?”
“No, first time.”
“Then why are you so good?”
“I don’t know.”
It was a cocky thing to say, but maybe he had some kind of protagonist buff. I didn’t want to think too deeply about it. For this one week with Yu Hyunjae, I didn’t want to feel guilt, fear, or pain.
With our printed sticker photos in hand, we wandered outside without a destination. The downtown area was packed—historically crowded for a weekend.
“Chanhee.”
“Hmm?”
“There are too many people. Wanna escape over there?”
Yu Hyunjae pointed to a tarot card café. I looked at him skeptically.
“You believe in that stuff?”
“It looks fun.”
“It’s a waste of money.”
“You sound like some spoiled rich kid.”
In the end, I gave in to his persistence and stepped into the café with a big “TAROT” sign. The interior was quiet. Unidentifiable foreign music played, and behind a wooden counter sat an older woman with her hair tied up.
“Here for a tarot reading?”
We nodded at her question.
“How unusual. Two boys coming in together.”
I answered with an awkward smile. It seemed like she ran the place alone. As we waited for our drinks, we looked around. The walls were decorated with patterns and images that looked like they belonged on tarot cards.
“This is interesting.”
I muttered, and Yu Hyunjae smiled as if relieved.
“I’ve always wanted to try it once.”
“Tarot?”
“Yeah. Just curious.”
“Curious about what? School? The future?”
“What you’re thinking.”
Yu Hyunjae kept his eyes on the wall art as he spoke.
“Tell me what Chanhee’s thinking. I’ve always wanted to ask.”
Wanting to come here not for his own future or decisions, but just to understand someone else—that was surprising. Then again, maybe it was something Yu Hyunjae would do.
“Your drinks are ready.”
The woman placed the cups on the table. We slowly walked over to where she was seated. She held the tarot cards and asked us:
“What do you want to see?”
“Uh…”
“The future?”
The future? Was there a word more vague than that? For someone like me, who had already lived through ten loops of past and future, who knew how this world ended, the question felt meaningless. Still, I nodded along.
“If I’ll be happy in the future.”
“Happy?”
“Yeah. That’s what I’m curious about.”
The woman stared at me. Her gaze was sharp and deep, as if trying to peer into some abyss. I looked away, and she spread the cards out in front of me.
“Pick six.”
Six cards? Despite my reluctance, I chose carefully. Beside me, Yu Hyunjae snickered, and the sound of a camera shutter clicked.
“Hey, don’t take pictures.”
“You’re cute. I’ll keep it to myself.”
My ears burned as I glanced at the woman. She ignored us, focusing only on the cards I picked. After I finished, silence hung in the air for a while.
“Why are you so obsessed with happiness?”
That was the first thing she said. I looked at her quizzically.
“Me? Obsessed with happiness?”
“Yes. Obsessed. More than obsessed, even.”
There was a time when I’d wanted to be happy like everyone else. But after realizing that ordinary happiness was something I could never have, I’d given up on the idea long ago.
“I don’t think I am.”
“Of course you’d think that. You’re not obsessed with your happiness—you’re obsessed with others’ happiness.”
She pointed to the cards.
“You’re already lying on the floor, but someone will always pick you up and put you on their back.”
“What?”
“Even when you’re flat on the ground, someone will carry you to the end.”
I thought she was just making things up to flatter me. After all, there was no way a random tarot reader could actually know my life.
“Is that so?”
I looked at the cards as if fascinated.
“And you’re not even that curious about the future.”
“…”
“You only think about the present.”
She pointed to another card. The word present oddly overlapped with Yu Hyunjae’s name, giving me a strange feeling.
“What drives you… oh, how romantic.”
“What is it?”
“You’re driven purely by love.”
Yu Hyunjae let out another snicker. My ears burned, and I waved my hand dismissively.
“I work hard at other things too!”
“No. Your life moves only for love.”
Her firm voice made Yu Hyunjae laugh even harder. Even though she clearly wasn’t teasing, I didn’t know where to look.
“How old are you?”
“Seventeen.”
“No.”
She tore her eyes from the cards and looked at me. That sharp sensation pierced through me again.
“Your real age.”
