Chapter 19
That hellish night passed while we couldn’t bring ourselves to do one thing or another. Since my wound hadn’t been properly treated, by afternoon I started running a fever. Hyunjae begged me to go to the hospital, but I shook my head. To delay the discovery of the dead body in the yard for as long as possible, we had to avoid any outside contact at all costs.
By the time the fever had me vomiting during meals, Hyunjae was already losing it. For the first time, I realized what an immense terror killing inflicts on a person. Even I, who’d experienced death eight times already, was like this—there was no way Hyunjae could be okay. With a haggard face, I said to him slowly.
“It’s not your fault.”
Hyunjae couldn’t answer. Even my existence couldn’t justify the murder to him. Lying on the blanket, I started thinking of the most realistic solutions I could. But no matter what I thought of, it all ultimately circled back to anger, resentment, and fear about this situation. We did all this just to be happy. Both Hyunjae and I—we just wanted one thing. To be happy.
As I kept getting worse, Hyunjae said it would be fine for him to turn himself in if only I would go to the hospital. I was tortured by terrible conflict. If he turned himself in, Hyunjae would leave my side one way or another. If he didn’t, we’d have to run forever or face an even worse punishment. What was more devastating was that no matter which option we chose, Hyunjae’s mind wouldn’t be at peace. In the end, I chose the more selfish option for myself. Hyunjae followed my wishes without a word.
Hyunjae spent more and more time in a daze. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to him in that state. The festering wound in my body got worse day by day. I needed to do something fast before it rotted all the way through. I suffered from high fever and pain constantly. Sometimes I even saw hallucinations. Most often it was the dead man dragging me away. Whenever I suffered from hallucinations like that, Hyunjae would hold my hand and plead.
“Please, Chanhee…”
“No.”
Hyunjae would press my hand to his forehead and beg endlessly. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. So please… I couldn’t make out what came after. Since I didn’t know what this kid had done so wrong, I resented the god he kept searching for instead.
When I lost consciousness and dreamed something that might’ve been fainting or sleeping, I met Cha Suhyun from my first life after such a long time. It was an unexpected encounter, but Suhyun didn’t seem bothered by it.
In the dream, I was slowly walking toward Suhyun. Absorbed in something else, Suhyun didn’t seem to have noticed my presence yet. When I deliberately made a loud noise to signal I was there, Suhyun looked at me in surprise and called my name.
—Dohyun hyung!
I accepted that title without feeling any sense of disconnect. And I patted the head of Suhyun, who was smiling at me. Looking closer, Suhyun looked much younger than he had been back then. I spoke affectionately.
—Did you wait long?
Suhyun shook his head and answered. No.
—Time passes quickly when I wait while reading a book.
—Work ended later than I expected.
—That’s because hyung is so amazing.
Suhyun smiled a pure smile that looked like it couldn’t have a speck of dust in it. I found that smile incredibly unfamiliar, but “Yu Dohyun” apparently didn’t. We had a normal date. We ate, drank coffee, and walked in the park. Suhyun looked genuinely happy. So much so that I could hardly believe he was that deranged Suhyun. By the end of the date, dusk had already fallen. I drove Suhyun home. We said our goodbyes, but Suhyun seemed to have something to say and hesitated. Then he said this.
—Hyung, you won’t abandon me, will you?
I silently looked at Suhyun and nodded. Suhyun hugged me with a face full of relief, like he was thinking “thank goodness.” But Suhyun’s next words froze my body.
—You don’t still think I’m a person from a novel, do you?
I couldn’t see Suhyun’s expression as he said those words. That was the last thing I saw before opening my eyes. Awake, I was breathing heavily. I was still feverish, and the pain from the wound in my stomach was severe. But I wasn’t suffering from physical pain. Suhyun’s words from my dream kept circling in my head. From a novel. From a novel…
“Chanhee.”
Hyunjae, who’d been dozing beside me, opened his eyes and looked at me. Hyunjae had become terribly gaunt over the past few days. Looking at him, I slowly opened my mouth.
“Dohyun hyung.”
Hyunjae’s eyes widened.
“I dreamed about him.”
“…”
“It’s strange.”
“What is?”
“The feeling, just… too much.”
I looked straight at Hyunjae and asked.
“What kind of person was he?”
“Well, you’d know better than me…”
“You tell me.”
Hyunjae was lost in thought for a moment, then slowly answered.
“Dohyun hyung was… really amazing.”
Hyunjae smiled faintly for just a brief moment. He seemed to be reminiscing about that time.
“Hyung knew everything.”
“Knew everything?”
“Just, somehow… I thought he knew everything. I thought that was his ability.”
For a moment, I felt like all the blood in my body was drying up. I trembled uncontrollably, unable to resist it. Hyunjae startled and grabbed my hand.
He knew everything?
If Yu Dohyun knew everything, why did he die?
But the answer to that question was all too simple.
Because he had to die despite knowing everything.
My mind began to darken like it was being dipped in ink. My body went limp, like someone sinking into the deep sea, waiting for death without even the strength to struggle. I couldn’t think of anything. No—the more I thought, the more painful it became. I wanted to tear off my head that kept drawing cursed conclusions against my will.
So what should I do now?
With perfect timing, a “ding” sound came from a corner of the room.
<You can now collect the ‘Yu Hyunjae’ hidden route ending. Would you like to continue? Y/N>
Hidden route. I started laughing hysterically. This situation was too funny. Did I say I wanted to be happy? Me, of all people? So are your actions to become happy going in the right direction? I kept laughing. I laughed so much I was on the verge of tears.
