Chapter 102
Whether it was purely Yu Chanhee’s intuition or an ability borrowed from Yu Dohyun’s power, I was gradually becoming able to distinguish between my state when I was “Yu Dohyun” and when I was “Yu Chanhee.” And that helped shift the situation in my favor, even as everything else was going badly.
“The experiment must fail.”
Yu Hyunjae looked at me with a serious face. After discussing the method I had just proposed to Dr. Jeon, my statement that it should fail would be difficult for anyone to accept.
“What do you think would happen if this Mana was injected into someone else?”
“Extracted Mana can’t be injected into someone else.”
“It can’t be done now. But it might be possible someday. As long as the Mana is completely preserved in Han Jaemin’s hands, it will eventually be used on someone.”
“So you’re saying we need to cut it off at the root?”
“Yes.”
“Chanhee.”
Yu Hyunjae hesitated, stalling for time. He seemed conflicted. I patiently waited for his brief deliberation.
“Does it have to be you who does this?”
“What?”
“Can’t it just end with you living… isn’t that enough?”
“Yu Hyunjae.”
“It’s a pointless sense of justice.”
“Pointless?”
I spoke slowly in a voice suppressing my anger.
“You don’t know how painful this is.”
“You’re right, I don’t know.”
Yu Hyunjae replied without backing down.
“Because you’re the most important to me.”
“If I’m the most important, why don’t you understand my pain?”
“It’s because I understand your pain that I’m saying this.”
“I don’t want this to go to someone else.”
“Are you the one giving it? You’re not the one inflicting that pain on someone else.”
“I never thought I’d hear those words from you.”
“No. These are words that should come naturally.”
Yu Hyunjae’s lips trembled. I could understand his feelings. Extracting Mana was itself a life-risking procedure, and planning to destroy the extracted Mana was equivalent to betraying Han Jaemin. Han Jaemin was the kind of person who could set fire to the Security Bureau Director’s house to kill him and cover it up if he wanted to.
“But those words shouldn’t come from your mouth.”
“Then what should come from my mouth?”
World peace, the elimination of villains, a happy ending… I swallowed what I was about to say and remained silent. Had Yu Hyunjae ever shown such ambition? That is, was the image of Yu Hyunjae that I was recalling now, based on “memories” that might not even be from a novel, the same as the current Yu Hyunjae in the same situation? Thinking about it, it wasn’t the same at all. Rather, it was the opposite. Yu Hyunjae was solely.
“I just want you to live.”
He acted like someone who existed solely for me. After all those countless days I had lived worrying that he might hate me because of the wrongs my family had done to him and all the things I had done to him in the past, it now seemed so foolish.
“I see.”
That all of this was done solely in the name of love.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you?”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“Does that mean we’re going to forget this conversation?”
“No.”
Yu Hyunjae frowned as he looked at me. I looked straight into his eyes and answered slowly.
“That can’t happen. This just needs to disappear forever.”
“Chanhee!”
Instead, that kind of absurd sense of duty was more deeply ingrained in me. How much had I sacrificed myself simply because I knew the development and ending of this world? I knew this pain better than anyone else alive right now. And I felt that if this pain were transferred to someone else, I wouldn’t be free from it either.
“Then what about you?”
“What?”
“When are you going to think about yourself?”
“…”
“You’re always my first priority, so why aren’t you your own first priority?”
“…That’s,”
“Then what about me, what am I supposed to be?”
“Hyunjae. Listen to me. This is…”
Yu Hyunjae closed his eyes as if trying to suppress his emotions. Not knowing how to explain, I repeatedly ran my dry hands over my face.
“Alright, Chanhee.”
Instead of answering, Yu Hyunjae stood up from the table, bowed his head, and spoke slowly without meeting my eyes. I waited patiently for what he would say next.
“You stick to your beliefs.”
“…”
“I’ll protect you.”
Our gazes met in midair. Although the sentence alone could have been romantic, there was a coldness in his words. I bit my lips tightly until they turned white, unable to say anything.
“Okay.”
“…”
“Let’s each protect what we’ve decided to protect.”
“…”
“And let’s be happy.”
“…Yes.”
“Right.”
I couldn’t be certain, but we made a promise anyway. To be happy. That was definitely our common and ultimate goal.
*
Han Jaemin agreed to my idea with fewer objections than I expected. Since I was someone whose Mana fusion wasn’t working properly and who couldn’t be controlled as he wanted, from his perspective, there was nothing to lose if I had my Mana extracted. What would happen to me afterward in his plans was painfully obvious, but that wasn’t very important to me.
The important thing was that extracting Mana from a living person rather than a brain-dead one was highly illegal, and finding a capable doctor (if they could even be called that) who could do it was like trying to catch a star from the sky. Though nothing was impossible for Han Jaemin to find, even he couldn’t find such a person in just one day.
“You really make me laugh.”
Han Jaemin looked at me impassively.
“First you come barging in wanting your brother’s power, and now you’re throwing a fit asking to have it all removed.”
“The laughable part has long passed.”
“I suppose so.”
“At first, I was curious to see how far you’d go with that power.”
“…”
“Now I find it fascinating.”
Though he claimed to find it fascinating, his expression didn’t change at all, but I didn’t usually attach much significance to Han Jaemin’s words anyway, so it didn’t matter.
“How you tiny creatures manage to have such grand love.”
“…”
“Later you’ll see it was all just a fucking illusion, thinking like this.”
“Illusion?”
“Yes, illusion. There’s no illusion more certain than emotions.”
“I suppose you could think that way.”
“You suppose? No, that’s how normal people think.”
“…”
“You two are just being ridiculously and abnormally dramatic.”
“…”
“For ordinary people, when faced with life, money, and power, a moment’s emotion becomes nothing. Your brilliant father was the same. Your brother too.”
“So, you find that fascinating?”
“Yeah. Funny, to be precise.”
“That’s why I hate you.”
“What?”
“It’s all because of you.”
I glared at Han Jaemin. He stared back as if daring me to try something.
“Because of bastards like you, everyone abandons their momentary emotions and becomes inhuman.”
“…”
“Do you think everything is in your hands and find it amusing?”
“Do I look amused to you?”
“Do you think you’ll live happily like this forever? You don’t really believe that will come true, do you?”
“Ah, right.”
His lips were curved up, but there was no trace of humor in Han Jaemin’s eyes. From what I had observed so far, this meant he was angry.
“You said I died in your future.”
“Yes.”
“How do I die?”
Han Jaemin asked in a calm voice. Of course, only his voice was calm; everything else about his atmosphere and actions seemed unstable.
“I thought you didn’t believe me?”
“I’m asking because you act so arrogantly like you know everything about me. I wondered if you had some grand secret to kill me.”
“My brother’s death wasn’t because he lost to your parents.”
“…”
“He finally escaped from this godforsaken world by using your parents.”
“Yet Yu Dohyun seemed quite resentful.”
“That’s just a moment’s emotion.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Every time you try to do what you want, you’ll become more miserable.”
“…You speak quite freely for someone with an open mouth.”
“I don’t plan to die until you die. As you know, I keep dying and coming back to life.”
“Who do you think will acknowledge that?”
“You will, at the moment of your death.”
Han Jaemin’s gaze died for a moment and then returned. I smiled lightly and continued speaking, with an exaggerated expression as if I had just realized something.
“Ah.”
“…”
“So that’s what you’re afraid of.”
Han Jaemin, with countless opportunities to be betrayed and killed by someone’s hand. The thought that it could happen now had probably been tormenting him since childhood. That’s why, around the time he learned that Yu Dohyun was someone who wouldn’t die even if killed, he must have constantly wanted to dismember him and make sure he was dead. Because it was Han Jaemin’s own parents who killed him, he thought he would definitely bear that anger. And the means of using that was Yu Chanhee. But, Yu Chanhee.
“Yu Dohyun.”
By becoming Yu Dohyun, trying to kill Han Jaemin again.
“You are destined to die.”
And that destiny haunts Han Jaemin again. And he becomes anxious again.
