# Side Story 4
Then this was definitely not a place for him to be. Protection? Who would protect whom? Since there was no need to think about it, Zenon was about to immediately spit out a refusal.
“You must know. That even now, at this very moment, there are many ability users who are in danger.”
“And I’m supposed to protect them?”
“Yes, I believe you can do it responsibly, if only because of your guilt.”
But Ben’s words put the brakes on his thoughts.
Certainly, he had an indelible sin. So if he were to do it, he had no intention of being half-hearted. If he could help them… it might be a chance to atone, even a little. Zenon stared at Ben’s steadfast gaze. His deliberation wasn’t very long.
He walked over to Ben and held out his hand. Since Zenon’s eyes were directed at his phone, Ben could immediately figure out what he wanted. Ben handed his phone over right away.
“Call me.”
After putting in his number on Ben’s phone, he walked back out the way he came. Ben, who had been about to reach out to him, stopped. This was a sign of acceptance.
Watching Zenon walk away, he smiled brightly. Ben thought he should finish his plan quickly and contact him.
* * *
Kay checked his phone at the vibration sound in the quiet house. Seeing “Melia” on the screen, he answered the call immediately. Since she lived quite far from “Alice,” they usually kept in touch through phone calls or letters.
“Are you doing well?”
―Yeah, same as usual.
Despite her words, Melia’s voice was subtly subdued. Kay could easily figure out the reason.
“I heard Zenon came by.”
Though Zenon wasn’t an organization member like before, he occasionally visited “Alice” at Fenil’s request. Kay didn’t know what the request was, but he knew that because of it, Zenon had many points of contact with Melia as well.
At Kay’s words, Melia continued her silence before finally speaking.
―…He came today.
“Did anything happen?”
―Not really…
“So something did happen.”
The relationship between Melia and Zenon had progressed surprisingly compared to before. Melia, who used to resent Zenon, no longer openly showed hostility after having a serious conversation with him. Still, since things weren’t completely healed, friction often occurred.
―…He asked if Kay was doing well.
“He could just ask me directly.”
He occasionally kept in touch with Zenon too. But Zenon had never specifically asked about his condition. Yet he asked Melia about it.
―That’s what I said too, but…
There was a moment of silence as if Melia was hesitating. But soon her voice began to be heard again.
―He said he doesn’t have the right to ask yet.
“…Seems like he’s still suffering.”
―It seems so. That’s why I’m more angry.
So that’s why he asked Melia instead of asking him directly. Well, Zenon wasn’t the type to get over things quickly. Though he might look fine on the outside, his insides would be quite festering. While Kay understood Zenon, he hoped he would relieve his guilt soon.
“It will take a lot of time.”
―…I know.
“But someday he’ll be okay.”
For him too, as a lot of time passed, many things had changed. So Zenon would also have a day when he’d be okay.
―…Contact him occasionally.
“What?”
―I don’t know what he might think if left alone.
At Melia’s words, Kay widened his eyes in surprise. He knew their relationship had progressed. But it was the first time Melia had worried about Zenon.
“Alright.”
Indeed, even though it didn’t seem like it, Melia cared deeply for Zenon. Their relationship couldn’t be completely good right now, but if it continued like this, it seemed entirely possible for things to return to how they were before. Though she probably hadn’t noticed that she was worried about Zenon.
Kay smiled at Melia who had changed as much as he had. Today seemed like it would be an especially good day.
* * *
After ending the call with Melia, Kay walked over to Haylen, who was reading a book. It was a new hobby he’d developed since coming to the organization. Haylen read books without discriminating by genre, and from what Kay heard, he said it was good because it made his mind peaceful. Today’s book seemed to be a detective novel.
Haylen inserted a bookmark on the page he was reading and turned to Kay.
“Is she doing well?”
“Yes, everyone seems fine.”
Alex was busy without a moment to breathe because he had a lot to do as the boss, but except for him, everything was as usual.
“That’s good.”
But despite saying it was good, Haylen’s attitude was somehow strange. Kay frowned at Haylen who kept glancing at him.
“Is there a problem?”
Finally, Kay spoke up at his uncharacteristically hesitant appearance. Haylen rolled his eyes around for a long time before slowly speaking up.
“…Is Kay okay?”
“What?”
“At night… you couldn’t sleep well.”
“Ah….”
Only then could Kay understand why Haylen had hesitated to speak. He didn’t know Haylen had noticed. They were still using separate rooms. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable, but sometimes when he saw Haylen in his sleep, memories of the past came up, so they ended up using separate rooms.
Dark places also didn’t have good memories, so he always slept with a mood light on. But that didn’t mean everything was fine.
Like yesterday when Haylen discovered, there were times when he occasionally had nightmares. When he woke up from the nightmare, he couldn’t distinguish reality for a moment, making even breathing burdensome and painful.
It was the fear that he couldn’t control, slowly eating away at him. He tried to hide this fact from Haylen because he didn’t want him to find out, but it seems he couldn’t hide it completely.
Kay tried his best to smile as if nothing was wrong. Haylen wouldn’t easily be convinced, but Kay didn’t want to show a weakened appearance.
“…I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
Haylen felt sorry for Kay. He remembered what happened in the early dawn. Kay, hugging his knees, continuously mumbling that he was okay like someone left alone. Kay, with cold sweat, looking at empty space with vacant eyes, didn’t look normal at all.
But even seeing him like that, Haylen couldn’t approach. Because it was he who made him that way. He was worried that if he approached, Kay would suffer even more.
All he could do was ask like this. He had contemplated this for a long time too. But if he let it pass now, Kay would continue to suffer alone.
It’s natural that he suffers. He had committed that much sin. But Kay was different. He had no reason to suffer. So Haylen wanted Kay to be okay now.
“Saying weak words won’t change anything.”
But Kay was just trying to gloss over it. As if this was a problem he had to solve all by himself. Haylen no longer hesitated. He grabbed Kay’s arm. With his balance disrupted, Kay fell into Haylen’s arms.
“It will change. Because whenever you say weak words, I will hold you.”
At those words, Kay blankly looked at Haylen. Looking at Kay who awkwardly stiffened his body, Haylen spoke once more.
“Will you let me hold you? Kay?”
Looking at Haylen who cautiously opened his arms, Kay closed his mouth. It was evident that he was contemplating whether to be held or not. But soon his body crumbled.
“…Yes.”
Kay buried his face in Haylen’s shoulder. It was warm enough to want to stay like this forever. He didn’t want to worry him. Just as Haylen worried about him, he also worried about Haylen. Haylen would make a painful expression whenever Kay showed weakness.
Kay hated that expression of his. There was a moment when he thought it was okay at first. But somehow, he didn’t want to see Haylen suffering. That’s why he desperately hid it.
“You don’t have to pretend to be okay. I like any version of Kay.”
He was finally discovered. If it came to this, wouldn’t he want to lean on Haylen who treated him kindly? Kay didn’t want to shamelessly burden him, knowing full well that Haylen would struggle.
“…Even if I crumble?”
“Of course. So at least in front of me, please be comfortable.”
But he must be a human who couldn’t help it either. Kay became increasingly greedy with Haylen, who would accept anything. The greed to tell him everything and be comfortable.
In the end, Kay chose to entrust himself to him. Strength began to fill the arms embracing Haylen.
“I’m sorry. If only I were a little stronger…”
It would have been nice if he could have quickly forgotten the unimportant past and been okay. But he couldn’t do that, and eventually, he inconvenienced Haylen. As if he found himself pathetic, Kay bit his lip tightly.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. I’m happy that Kay is relying on me.”
“…Why?”
Wondering if he was lying, Kay looked up to examine Haylen, but he was sincere.
“Because it seems like Kay trusts me that much.”
Kay was at a loss for words. He didn’t expect him to think that way. He just thought he was being a burden. Was his trust so precious to Haylen?
“So there’s no need to be sorry. Kay just needs to lean on me comfortably.”
At Haylen who was genuinely happy, not just saying it, Kay unknowingly found relief.
Night had always been a frightening time for him, but today that meaning seemed to change. Because now he had someone to rely on. Kay entrusted himself to him and closed his eyes.
Haylen didn’t stop caressing until Kay was completely asleep.
