# Chapter 77
It was an ambiguous statement, but Alex could immediately understand what Boss was talking about. Actually, he often showed such a soulless appearance. Boss seemed to be trying to hide it, but there was no way Alex wouldn’t notice how he had suddenly changed after Kay’s death.
But as time passed, Boss was gradually getting better.
The days he spent just barely breathing like a corpse decreased, and the number of times he visited Kay’s house also reduced. Alex could feel relieved at Boss’s changing state.
However, that relief didn’t last long, and Boss reverted to his previous state. It happened from the moment he captured that researcher from Peace.
“What’s bothering you so much?”
He couldn’t understand why Boss was acting this way when he didn’t seem to have any connection to that researcher. A deep sigh conveyed Alex’s frustrated feelings. Under his gaze that urged him to speak up, Boss hesitantly began to talk.
“…The eyes. Those eyes are too similar.”
The red eyes blurred as if drawing someone. To think he would end up speaking out loud the fact he wanted to deny. He thought something might change if he voiced it, but nothing did.
Though he hated to admit it, the researcher’s eyes still resembled him.
“Similar to whom?”
Alex asked, maintaining tension in response to Boss’s serious demeanor. If it was enough to make him lose his composure, it must be someone special to him. A figure quickly flashed through his mind. Alex watched as Boss’s lips parted.
“Kay…”
Alex, who had been listening silently, narrowed his eyes at the familiar name.
“What?”
His expression hardened grimly. Boss’s words were so difficult to accept that he wondered if he had heard correctly.
“He’s the researcher in charge of Alice. And you’re saying that such a person’s eyes resemble Kay’s?”
He’s a person who committed terrible acts, even by his own standards. And yet, he resembles Kay? Even if it was just the eyes, it wasn’t something that should be said, for Kay’s sake.
Boss wasn’t unaware of this fact. That’s why he had been troubled. But every time he sees him, Kay comes to mind. Even if he denies it, every time they meet, traces of Kay are superimposed on his face.
Now he had reached the point where Kay’s image appeared whenever he saw the researcher’s green eyes.
“I know, too. That I shouldn’t be thinking like this. But I can’t erase it. I can’t shake off the thought that he resembles Kay.”
He wondered if he had gone mad. Boss’s face contorted in pain as he exhaled deeply and ran his hand over his face.
From Boss’s reaction, Alex could tell that even he found it difficult to accept this situation. But still, he couldn’t just let it slide.
“…Let’s say they’re similar as you say. Then why does that person look at you that way?”
The way Kay looked at Boss wasn’t a simple emotion. It was a deep and straight emotion with roots that spread to an unfathomable extent. How many people could have such eyes? Especially the probability of having the same target for those emotions.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say there were none. Alex, who had been watching Kay all along, could be even more certain. Kay’s feelings for Boss were that abnormal.
“I don’t know that either.”
That’s why Boss was even more confused. He thought there would never be another person who would look at him with such eyes, except for Kay.
“When we’ve never even met, why does he have such eyes?”
But as if to deny his thoughts, he appeared. None other than that researcher from Peace.
Boss couldn’t understand. It’s not an emotion that can be formed in an instant. It was like snow, slowly accumulating to form a solid fortress.
It’s not something that could arise for someone he had never seen before.
No matter how good an actor one might be, it’s not an emotion that can be fabricated. The more he thought about it, the more tangled it became without being resolved. The reason why he looked at him with such eyes.
Alex quietly observed his hardening complexion. He knew that Boss had been captivated by him recently, but he didn’t realize it was to this extent. Usually, he would have watched until Boss’s problem was resolved, but this time he couldn’t. After organizing his thoughts, Alex delivered a warning.
“At the risk of being an old worrier, he’s someone who participated in Peace’s experiments.”
It was a stiff and sharp statement, but he didn’t deny it. Boss nodded and met Alex’s eyes.
“I know. That’s why I’m not giving him a clean death.”
But Alex, who had observed his attitude so far, couldn’t believe those words. In response to the untrustworthy statement, Alex threw out a solution.
“If Boss is this concerned, wouldn’t it be better to just kill him quickly?”
If only that researcher died, everything would return to normal. Boss was already suffering because of Kay. He couldn’t just stand by and watch this hindrance. Alex’s opinion was reasonable. Boss wasn’t just anyone; he was the center of the organization. One wrong move could shake the balance of “Alice.”
In fact, Boss had been making more mistakes lately. Though minor, they could accumulate and cause significant harm.
Boss probably knew this well too. That his current state was dangerous, that this could harm the organization.
“That’s not possible.”
But despite knowing, he couldn’t make the decision to kill Kane. Boss, who had spoken urgently, frowned as if he himself was perplexed. It was an instinctive statement that hadn’t even passed through his mind.
Alex tapped on the table to draw the attention of Boss, who had stiffened.
“Why not?”
“…Anyway, not now.”
How could he explain to others when he didn’t understand the reason himself? He avoided the question, evading Alex’s persistent gaze. Alex let out a heavy sigh in response. It was an action clearly intended to snipe at Boss.
“Haah… From my perspective, it seems like it will never be possible.”
Boss understood the implication, but as he was aware of his wrongdoing, he silently bowed his head.
“I’m sorry for not making the right choice.”
As the boss of “Alice,” he should have killed Kane. But pathetically, he just couldn’t make that choice.
At his apology, Alex’s body momentarily faltered. It was a phrase that didn’t suit Boss at all.
To think there would come a day when he would hear an apology from him. Despite knowing Boss for 15 years, he had never heard him apologize during that long time.
It wasn’t because he was a conscienceless person who didn’t acknowledge his mistakes. He simply didn’t create situations that required apologies in the first place. He was perfect in everything, but that didn’t mean there were no crises. However, even if his body was damaged, he never made mistakes.
Therefore, Alex thought he would never hear an apology from him in his lifetime.
Yet, today he heard those words.
“…It’s not like you’ve caused any harm, so there’s nothing to apologize for.”
Alex, quickly loosening his stiff body, spoke as if to boost his spirits.
“But it’s not the kind of thinking a boss would typically have.”
He should make decisions for the organization, setting aside personal feelings, but why couldn’t he do that? Since the brainwashing was completely undone, he couldn’t control his emotions.
Do other people live like this too? His reason knew what the most perfect answer was, but his emotions wouldn’t allow it.
Now he felt like he had become a fool. Being led by emotions and missing what was important.
“Boss is human too, so it can’t be helped. Though in the past, you didn’t seem human.”
“…It seems like my past self was more useful.”
Alex must think so too. Was it fortunate that the brainwashing was undone? The brainwashing being lifted allowed him to recognize his feelings for Kay, but beyond that, it seemed of no help.
Boss naturally expected Alex to give an affirmative answer. But his actual thoughts were different.
“As a boss, perhaps. But not as a friend.”
He was perfect before. As if born to rule over everything, he had no shortcomings in attaining the position of boss. Because of this, “Alice” was able to grow into a villain organization in an instant and command the unruly villains.
Dealing with those who interfere and taking in those who are useful. It sounds easy, but not just anyone could do it. One had to be able to see through people’s innermost thoughts and be qualified to judge others.
But Boss did all that effortlessly. Even if it was a member who had been with the organization for years, if they became a hindrance, he would deal with them with a single stroke. He had been living like that all along.
But that aspect of him seemed terribly empty. His vacant eyes were hardly different from those of the dead.
The Boss from that time was both alive and dead simultaneously.
Now, that same person expresses confusion and says he’s sorry. Alex thought it was fortunate that he had changed. The days ahead would be more meaningful for him.
Even if the past Boss was better suited for the organization, Alex, who remembered him from the past 15 years, wouldn’t reject the current Boss.
“There are some issues, but I prefer you as you are now.”
“Even though I’ve become this weak?”
It was almost embarrassing to call himself a boss. But Alex firmly shook his head.
“You haven’t become weak; you’ve become ordinary.”
“Ordinary?”
He echoed Alex’s words. Ordinary was a word that didn’t suit him.
He thought he could never be ordinary.
“Yes. Living while being swayed by trivial things, just like others.”
But Alex told him that he had become ordinary. Caring about small things was foolish. He couldn’t easily understand Alex’s words. But somewhere deep in his heart, he felt like he might vaguely understand. After all, he had become entangled in trivial things, just like that researcher.
If this is the ordinariness Alex spoke of, had he become an ordinary person?
Boss ultimately couldn’t answer that question.
