# Chapter 70
The dark night approached, but sleep wouldn’t come. That was natural. After this night passed, I was destined to be killed. Endless worries continued without ceasing. Should I go, or should I not go? The note said I would die.
The fact that Ben had passed it so urgently meant that the day of my murder wasn’t far off. In that case, something that could cause my death in the near future. Thinking about it, the only answer left was Zenon. His awkward behavior that day clearly showed an attitude of hiding something.
Because of that, I could predict that I would die today. Today was Saturday, the day Zenon had asked to meet.
From what I’ve seen of Zenon until now, he wouldn’t spare me. He would kill me, just as he had always done. Currently, Zenon probably couldn’t refuse Peace’s orders.
“What should I do……”
Going is a problem, not going is also a problem. If I go, I die, and if I don’t go, someone will come to kill me. But subduing Zenon with Kane’s strength was impossible.
Kane might be taller in stature, but everything else was disadvantageous compared to Zenon. Restraining him would be impossible.
“Haa……”
So I shouldn’t go after all? But even if I don’t go, it’s ultimately just a temporary measure. It would have been nice if I had a gun at least, but a civilian wouldn’t have a gun.
Moreover, it wasn’t just me dying. Since Kane’s soul couldn’t live on in a dead body, Kane would die too.
Thinking that way, the thought that I couldn’t die like this grew larger and larger.
And after staying up all night, I finally found one method.
The probability couldn’t be guaranteed. For this plan to succeed, several processes were necessary, but I couldn’t be certain that any of them could be done. But there was no other way besides this method.
So no matter what, I had to succeed. With that determination, I boarded the car Zenon had prepared.
Unlike usual, no words were exchanged in the car. Without even common greetings, Zenon just drove with a hardened expression.
Then, as if we had arrived, he stopped the car. Looking through the window, it seemed to be an abandoned factory district.
I clenched my fist tightly and reminded myself once more. From here on, I couldn’t let my guard down for even a minute or a second. Because the moment I opened the car door, Zenon would try to kill me.
“I’ll get out.”
Taking a small deep breath, I pushed the handle. But the locked door only rattled without opening. Zenon, who had been watching my actions, slowly opened his mouth.
“You sensed something strange, right?”
As he spoke as if he knew everything, my body momentarily stiffened. I calmly withdrew my hand from the car door. Since it was true that I had shown a lot, I wasn’t very surprised.
“……Yes.”
As I turned my body, I could see the strength entering his hands gripping the steering wheel. Zenon, who was holding the steering wheel so tightly as if he might break it, had his head lowered, so I couldn’t see his face.
“And yet you came?”
But the low voice made me guess Zenon’s current mood. Like waves rising on a calm sea, trembling was felt in his voice.
“When Zenon-ssi called me, it meant it was a situation I couldn’t refuse.”
I could understand Zenon’s reaction, seemingly buried in guilt, because I knew why he called me. That’s why I could say this too.
If he didn’t kill me, Zenon would lose something precious. For instance, his own life. He must have worried countless more times than I did.
After searching for other options without rest, this was the conclusion he had reached.
I didn’t want to feel angry at Zenon’s decision. If I had to be angry, I’d feel anger toward those who created this situation.
Besides, that’s not the only reason. I chose the option that gave me the best chance of survival. So there was no need for him to make such an expression.
“Why?”
But Zenon, who didn’t know that, grew darker and darker. I could feel his entire body trembling just by looking at him. It was clear that Zenon couldn’t understand why I had come.
“What does that have to do with you?”
“How is it not—”
Of course it has everything to do with him. I’ve known him for a full 5 years. How could I ignore that time? That remains unchanged even if Zenon doesn’t know my identity.
“Why… what does it matter to you that you came here?”
But he would never know that fact. Even though I had something else in mind, why did I so obediently come to the meeting place like this? Why didn’t I ask anything when I was sensing it?
Zenon would never know, even until he tried to kill me.
I think that’s fortunate. I didn’t want to let him know the experience of trying to kill someone he wanted to save, once again. Especially if my plan failed, it would be the experience of killing.
Even now, thinking I’m Kane, he’s hesitating like this. If he learned my identity, he wouldn’t be able to just let it go.
“……Today, I’ll.”
While I was pondering what to say, Zenon, having seemingly steeled his resolve, spoke in a voice full of cracks.
“Kill you.”
Zenon’s head, which had been hanging down all this time, began to rise.
“I’ll kill you so that I can live.”
Zenon, who had been taking rough breaths as if each word was burdensome, finally burst into tears.
It wasn’t a wail. The tears didn’t fall violently without a chance to dry.
He just silently shed tears. He shed tears without a single sound of crying. I watched him for a long time before finally opening my mouth.
“Ah, I… I expected that might be the case.”
“I’m telling you I’m going to kill you so I can live?”
Though my words didn’t flow naturally due to seeing Zenon cry for the first time, he seemed not to notice and was busy shedding tears. His words were full of the cry, ‘why don’t you blame me?’
“That’s natural. One’s own life is precious.”
But contrary to Zenon’s wishes, I had no desire to blame him. Rather, I just felt sorry. For him, who despite wanting to refuse, had no choice but to kill me. That’s why, instead of blaming Zenon, I had made a plan.
“But why you! You’re not valuing your own life……”
Did my calm speech make it seem like I had chosen death myself? Zenon’s tears began to intensify. I too couldn’t help but value my life. That’s why I kept thinking of ways to struggle.
But if I had to choose between my life and Zenon’s… perhaps I resemble what he’s saying about me now.
“I’d hate it more if you died.”
It’s not because I’m okay with dying. It’s just that I disliked his death a little more than my own. A body that has already died once. Once might be difficult, but twice might be bearable.
I do feel sorry towards Kane for thinking this way when it’s not even my body. But this was an issue I couldn’t concede either, so it couldn’t be helped.
“Are you an idiot? How long have we known each other that you can say such things to someone trying to kill you?”
How am I appearing to Zenon right now? A dull person who doesn’t even know how to cherish his own life? A stupid person trying to throw away his life for someone else?
Even I thought it was strange to be unfazed in a situation where I might die. But what could I do? After hiding so much, this was all I could show.
“It’s been much longer than you think.”
Having to lie about the 5 years spent together, I could only appear as an infinite fool to Zenon.
“Have we met before?”
“You won’t remember, Zenon-ssi.”
And you shouldn’t remember. Besides, how many people would believe in possession for several months? Not a few minutes, not a day. I’ve lived as Kane for over a month. No one would doubt me.
If I don’t raise unnecessary suspicion, that is. And fortunately, I’ve managed to hold on until now. That’s why Zenon doesn’t doubt me either.
“I’ve lived killing someone every time. Because otherwise, I’d die.”
His breathing had become more even, as if he had calmed down a bit. I was well aware that Zenon didn’t like killing. Even in the organization, he mostly took on supporting roles rather than going directly to the field. If he had enjoyed killing, he would have volunteered, but he didn’t.
So I had been guessing that he killed reluctantly, either being threatened by Peace or, as Zenon just said, in situations where his life was threatened.
“So today, I’m going to kill you.”
Zenon, steeling his resolve to kill no matter what, looked more pained than me, who was destined to die. However, regardless of his feelings, he held a knife to me to kill me.
The sharp dagger touched my Adam’s apple, as if it would pierce my neck at any moment.
“It’s okay.”
Thinking I might really die if I made a wrong move, I hastily opened my mouth to tell him about my plan.
“I don’t plan on dying, actually.”
At that moment, my Adam’s apple moved slightly and brushed against the knife. Then blood began to seep through the slightly cut wound.
“What are you saying, and you’re bleeding!”
“Is it okay to kill me but not okay for me to get hurt?”
Zenon immediately withdrew the knife as soon as he saw the blood flowing down my neck and hurriedly examined my neck. I don’t understand how he intends to kill me like this. I blocked him as he approached and roughly wiped the blood with my hand.
“Besides that, aren’t you curious?”
“About what?”
“A way for both you and me to survive safely.”
Although the probability of failure was equally high, I didn’t mention that fact. Still, it would be fine if I could persuade him. Zenon was the most important part of my plan.
