Queen and King 37

# Chapter 37

But how about today? Had he ever looked closely at Kay’s expression?

Boss couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t just today. Ever since Kay had confessed to him, he couldn’t look Kay in the eyes.

No, to be precise, he could look, but he couldn’t read his emotions.

Surely there shouldn’t be any hesitation. It should just be amusing. But he couldn’t do it. Confirming Kay’s feelings, seeing himself reflected in Kay’s eyes was uncomfortable. He couldn’t meet Kay’s gaze, as if he were looking at something he shouldn’t see.

However, there was one image of Kay that still existed uniquely in Boss’s memory.

The image of him when he spoke of his last will still hadn’t disappeared.

It was just something said to get attention. Even though Boss tried to think that way, Kay wasn’t that kind of person.

He’s a foolish man. Even in loving someone, Kay never thought of himself. He was a foolish man who forcibly hid his emotions that weren’t even hidden, only holding them inside.

Knowing this fact well, Boss couldn’t think that Kay’s last will was meaningless.

But no matter how much he thought that way, the last will couldn’t become reality. Because Kay wouldn’t die.

He didn’t die even from injuries severe enough to create a pool of blood on the floor.

How could someone like that die? So the last will must surely be something Kay had misunderstood.

Boss repeated this to himself like a mantra. It couldn’t become reality. No matter what happened, Kay had to live.

In the midst of these thoughts, the moon had set and warm sunlight illuminating the interior proved it was morning.

“Ah…”

Only then realizing he’d stayed up all night, Boss’s eyes became clear. It was the first time he couldn’t sleep because of distracting thoughts. Before, he had always erased useless thoughts immediately.

He briefly held his throbbing head before slowly rising from his seat.

He had so many things he wanted to ask Kay. Strangely, the more he thought about him, the more questions piled up.

But what was even stranger was his inability to let go of these unresolved thoughts.

Normally, he would have erased them right away. For reasons unknown, if he couldn’t let them go, the only option now was to catch and solve them.

He couldn’t meet Kay today because of the operation, but once Kay returned from the mission, he could empty these chaotic thoughts.

Boss believed this without a doubt.

At least until Kay infiltrated Peace.

But the operation went completely opposite to his plan. At that moment, it didn’t matter to him that Zenon was a spy or that Alice couldn’t be saved.

The most important thing in this situation was whether Kay could live or not. It was a choice unlike himself, who always prioritized the mission.

However, that was the only thought in Boss’s mind. That’s why he tried to save Kay.

“Fenil, I’m going to Kay right now.”

Boss hurriedly spoke without even looking at Fenil, who was tracking Kay’s position.

It takes over an hour to get from headquarters to Peace. Even using his ability, it would take considerable time. So what he was doing was completely meaningless.

Boss knew this well. But anxiety had paralyzed even his judgment.

“You know better than anyone that Kay can’t die.”

What awakened his reason was Fenil’s subsequent words. Fenil grabbed Boss, who was about to go outside, forgetting even to put on his coat.

“That’s…”

That’s right. Kay doesn’t die. With his Regeneration ability, he could be saved later, couldn’t he?

His feet came to a halt. Why had he thought Kay would die? Toward him, who was staring blankly into space with dazed eyes, Fenil handed him an earpiece.

“He’s escaping through the ventilation duct now, so keep in contact for me.”

After saying that, perhaps looking for another solution, Fenil hurriedly went out. As Boss finally recognized the earpiece in his hand, he gently sat down in the seat where Fenil had been sitting.

He fixed his gaze on the screen showing Kay’s position among countless monitors.

Pushing back the clinging emotions that followed him like a shadow, he focused on the present.

Kay’s rapidly ascending figure began to appear clearly after a while. His figure was captured in the garden of the building.

However, just as Boss felt relief at the sight, he felt something inside him plummet at what followed.

Kay, who had been standing motionless as if blocked by an invisible wall, put the earpiece back on.

Boss reflexively opened his mouth at the sight.

“Kay, is there a way out?”

There has to be. If Kay would just say so, this feeling would disappear too.

—Not at the moment.

But Kay never uttered words of affirmation. Why did that negative statement sound so cruel?

In the midst of emotions crushing him without his knowledge, he thought about what to say next.

Normally, he would have said that since Kay would survive anyway, he should just wait. That even if tortured, he shouldn’t speak, and if he waited, someday he would be rescued. That’s what he should have said.

But today, he couldn’t bring himself to say those words. Whenever he tried to open his mouth, it became painful, as if something was blocking him.

As meaningless silence continued, it was Kay, not Boss, who spoke.

—I’ve thought of one way.

Kay’s manner of speaking, with detachment rather than joy, was strange. Rather than alleviating Boss’s anxiety, it amplified it, and Boss struggled to speak.

“What is it?”

It couldn’t be a normal method. If it were, he would have thought of it himself. Then it must be a method only Kay could think of.

Kay’s thoughts are mostly self-sacrificial.

—I can detonate the bomb.

And Boss’s suspicion was precisely correct. From Kay’s words, tinged with a faint tremor, he could immediately understand what it meant.

“…No way.”

The bomb he had fitted to Kay. Kay was talking about that now. If the bomb was activated, Kay would be blown to pieces beyond recognition.

Why? Even at a moment like this. Boss’s expression distorted as he bowed his head. It was anger. Anger directed at he knew not whom.

Kay was always like this. He never makes choices for himself. That’s why Boss had put a leash on him.

Because he thought that if he gave Kay, who cannot die, a danger equivalent to death, Kay would develop fear.

That fear would break down such thinking, and he would make choices for himself alone. Boss had clearly thought that.

But Kay once again chose to sacrifice himself.

—You know. This is the best option right now.

I resent you for saying such things.

“Is there… no other way?”

There couldn’t be. Yet he asked. He asked a question to which he already knew the answer.

—Isn’t this what we trained for?

Boss knew better than anyone that Kay, who was saying it was fine in a calm tone, was not fine.

For this day… Contemplating those words carefully, Boss shook his head.

Kay’s words were wrong. We didn’t train for this day. We trained so this day would never come.

He didn’t want Kay to break. But Kay’s ability was one that made him more susceptible to breaking than anyone else.

That’s why Boss trained Kay. Trained him to the extent that he wouldn’t shatter, no matter the moment.

It didn’t matter if it was harsh. Because what mattered to him wasn’t Kay’s pain. As long as Kay remained whole, nothing else mattered.

But even that wish ultimately went unfulfilled. As he said, if the bomb was activated, Kay would surely break. Both externally and internally.

“I haven’t answered your confession yet.”

But despite knowing this, he hoped Kay would be safe. He hoped that, as always, Kay would return to his side as if nothing had happened.

So he had to hear a definite answer, even if it meant resorting to such cowardice.

—…I know.

“So, you must come back to hear it.”

Kay, momentarily hesitant at Boss’s words filled with strong will, softly spoke.

—I under… stand.

It was a statement neither the speaker nor the listener could trust. But Boss had no choice but to believe that answer.

Because as Kay said, there was no other way.

Boss engraved in his eyes the image of Kay calmly awaiting death. He followed Kay’s every gesture and expression.

Though it couldn’t possibly be the last time, somehow he couldn’t take his eyes off Kay.

Boss, watching him like that, gently moved his stiffened hand and pressed the button. And simultaneously, a deafening sound struck him.

BOOM—

That sound didn’t disappear even after the bomb exploded. The floor around Boss, who was watching the screen where bright flames were burning, began to cave in.

His ability had gone berserk due to his inability to control his emotions. But that was just the beginning.

Shortly after, he received the news that Kay had died.

* * *

His consciousness was dazed, as if sinking into an endless abyss. He almost wished to remain submerged like this. Because if he came to his senses, he would have to truly accept it.

That’s how much Boss couldn’t believe this fact.

Kay dying? Isn’t that nonsense?

He was told that Kay’s body was dismembered beyond recognition, to the point where it couldn’t even be recovered. But all of that had to be an illusion. It’s just that the regeneration is a bit delayed. If he just waits, someday he will return.

Yes, that’s definitely how it should be.

Why is every situation defying that future?