# Chapter 14
Honestly, Kay’s wolf form was unexpected when first seen. Boss had thought Kay would commit all sorts of cruel acts, unable to resist his instincts.
However, contrary to that expectation, what the instinct-driven Kay wanted was just one thing. A small and modest instinct, enough to make one laugh.
“Grrrr…”
Kay pulled at Boss’s trouser hem with his small teeth. From the slight force applied to the lower part, Boss could immediately guess what he was thinking.
“You want to sleep together?”
“Kyaang!”
Kay released the trouser hem he’d been biting as if that was the correct answer and wagged his tail vigorously. It was impossible not to understand. All he wanted was to sleep with Boss.
No matter what, he would reach where Boss was and try to sleep together. That was Kay’s instinct.
To think his instinct was merely sleeping. Should he call it typical of Kay, or should he feel sorry for this modest instinct? Either way, it was equally incomprehensible.
Boss held back a bitter smile as he watched Kay now licking his hand.
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
Boss remembered that Kay’s current residence was quite far away. He carefully examined Kay’s body for any wounds.
Fortunately, except for some minor scratches, his body was clean. Kay at this time tended to be rough with his own body.
It’s not like he took good care of himself normally either, but during the full moon, wounds didn’t heal well, so he had to be careful. This happened because the wolf-human was suppressing regeneration.
Because of that, Kay was badly injured the first time he came. He broke the window and stepped on glass shards.
After that, Boss always kept the window open during the full moon, just like now. Breaking glass wasn’t a problem since it could always be replaced. But Kay getting hurt was the issue.
He didn’t mind Kay getting injured during training, but he didn’t want him to get hurt by accident. Especially during the full moon when regeneration didn’t work.
“Kyiiing…”
Kay seemed worried about Boss’s furrowed brow, and carefully lifted his front paw to stroke Boss’s forehead.
“Ah…”
Feeling the soft touch on his forehead, Boss relaxed his tense brow. Instead, with a faint smile, he carefully picked Kay up. He felt a light weight, proportional to his small size.
Normally when Kay transformed into a wolf, he took the form of an adult wolf. But during the full moon, he reverted to a pup.
Boss vaguely guessed the reason for this. Moving with soft steps on the floor, he placed Kay on the snow-white bed.
“Here, lie down here.”
However, Kay just stared blankly at him without settling down. His gaze, as if something was missing, only disappeared after Boss leaned on the bed.
Only then did Kay seem satisfied, hopping onto Boss’s leg. Then he curled his tail and began preparing to sleep.
“Kyiiing…”
“Feels good?”
Boss smiled and stroked Kay’s back as he rubbed his face against Boss’s leg.
His appearance, transformed into a young wolf, really was like a child. A whining child who didn’t hide his emotions.
Although Boss didn’t particularly like children normally, this form of Kay wasn’t bad.
Kay being like a child was largely Boss’s fault. Since that day when he rescued Kay, Kay still hadn’t escaped from that moment.
That’s why Kay’s desire took the form of a young wolf. In the form of a distant past that he could no longer return to.
Boss stared at Kay, who was looking at him with an enigmatic smile. A gentle ripple flowed through his red eyes.
“Kay, don’t like me.”
The full moon shows a different side of Kay than usual. And the same was true for Boss. More honest with his emotions than usual, Boss continued looking at Kay.
“I’m not a suitable person for you.”
It might be a statement out of place in this situation, but it was something he had always thought.
He cannot empathize with others’ emotions. He lives only pursuing meaningless interests. Life to him was like a game. A game where it wouldn’t matter even if he died.
Boss knew it. That someone like him didn’t suit Kay. He couldn’t suit him.
Kay was someone who always lived with upright beliefs and lived for himself. That appearance was too noble, to the point where Boss would unconsciously stare at Kay without even realizing it.
How could such a Kay be said to be suitable for him?
Just as rules exist even in games, Boss couldn’t deny this fact.
But the reason he couldn’t tell Kay this normally was because he wanted Kay to continue loving him.
Boss knew it. That he couldn’t sympathize with tears being shed. That he couldn’t laugh together. It was an easy thing for others, but even that, he couldn’t do.
“…Kyiiing.”
The tiny front paws struggled to reach Boss’s face. After watching this silently, he gently lifted Kay up.
Kay buried his face deeply in Boss’s shoulder and nuzzled his face as if to comfort him. He felt the soft fur touch on his neck.
At that, Boss’s expression collapsed like crumbling fragments. The interior revealed in the debris contained both regretful and loving emotions coexisting. Emotions unknown even to himself.
“Will you still like me, though?”
Could he love someone like him who only feels interest in his emotions? He knows this feeling is selfish. But he wanted Kay to continue loving him.
If not, he would lose even his last interest. There was no reason to live a life without even interest. So for the sake of living, he wanted Kay to like him.
“Kyaang!”
As if understanding his words, Kay licked Boss’s cheek. Even at times like this, he was considering Boss.
“I could kill you…”
Kay couldn’t kill him. But he could kill Kay. Kay knew that fact as well.
He had always told him. That if a situation came that would harm the organization, he could kill him at any time.
A gentle ripple undulated in his downcast eyes.
“Kay.”
Despite his call, Kay showed no response. Looking at him, who was already asleep, Boss uttered the words that existed within him.
“I wanted to love you.”
Words he could only say because Kay couldn’t hear.
If only he could, he wanted to love. Not just something that could disappear without consequence. He wanted to like him beyond mere simple interest.
But now he knew that this was nearly impossible. Such emotions had been erased long ago.
He treats the other person as a tool. That was the method by which he had been able to endure until now.
“…Sleep well.”
So he couldn’t love Kay. No matter how much he tried to love, Kay was nothing more than entertainment to him.
That’s how it had to be.
* * *
My eyes opened naturally to the familiar scent. But the scene before me was Hans’s room, which didn’t match that scent.
“…”
I pulled back the blanket and smelled the faint lingering scent on my clothes. A slightly heavy but soft scent that I couldn’t mistake. This was Boss’s scent.
Had Boss come? It seemed like I had just fallen asleep last night. It was a shame. If I hadn’t slept, I could have seen him.
In the fading scent, I repeatedly revised the message I was going to send him.
The text that had been over five lines gradually shortened and eventually became one sentence. But even that sentence never got delivered to him.
I didn’t even have the courage to ask Boss whether he had come last night. In the end, the message was returned to blank.
* * *
“…Aren’t you working?”
Tade asked, looking at Ben who had been occupying a seat in the control room for some time. Tade, who had initially tried to ignore him, had no choice but to speak to Ben who kept coming in.
“There aren’t any incidents that would require my presence.”
Though Tade was clearly giving him a hint, Ben laughed off his words as if he knew nothing. He was sitting far away, apparently keeping the 2-meter distance rule, but even that was equally disturbing.
At first, he didn’t even come into the control room. But once he realized the 2-meter distance was allowed in the control room, he now entered naturally.
“Then you should at least train.”
Tade exhaled a deep sigh as he looked at Ben sitting like a statue. For him, it was like having a superior watching him, so he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.
“I don’t train.”
“Because you’re S-class?”
“…That’s not it. Rather than training, I do other things. And since I don’t do that often either, I have a lot of time.”
Ben continued after hesitating momentarily at the mention of being S-class. No matter what, if he didn’t train, his body wouldn’t keep up.
Although his main ability was in the mental category, I understood his supplementary ability was an attack type. It was hard to understand how such a person wouldn’t train.
Does Peace have something more efficient than training? I was curious about what that might be, but soon lost interest. Ben didn’t seem willing to talk about it anyway, and it wasn’t worth digging into.
“That doesn’t mean there’s a reason for you to be here. From what I see, you came because of Hans, but Hans probably doesn’t like you.”
“Really? He dislikes me?”
While I had briefly looked away, the subject of conversation suddenly changed to me. Shocked by Tade’s words, Ben looked at me with trembling eyes.
Tade’s words weren’t exactly wrong. If I had to choose between liking and disliking, I was closer to disliking.
He was of no benefit to me, and was rather cumbersome. Though I didn’t go as far as hatred since there was a possibility of using him to find Alice’s whereabouts, there was no reason for me to like him.
“Currently, I don’t have any positive feelings.”
