# Chapter 8
“With Kim Haewon’s personality, he would definitely do that.”
Even though it was still uncertain whether things would work out or not, for some reason I felt he would act that way. He hadn’t had any problems without me until now, so it wouldn’t be a naive thought that he wouldn’t have problems in the future either. He wasn’t that stupid. It’s just…
“He’d rather die than humble himself to me.”
I snorted as I put my hands behind my head. Kim Haewon was a man who had lived his entire life as an SS-class esper. It was practically a threat: rather than face me and potentially hear more humiliating words, he’d choose to go berserk.
A choice where only his secretary would suffer. It was a form of pressure. A childish threat that if his newly found paired guide didn’t behave submissively, he’d just die. Yet the world often yielded to such childish threats.
That’s because an SS-class esper going berserk didn’t end with just his own death.
It wouldn’t stop at just a city or two. The entire continent he resided in would be at risk. A country where such an incident occurred would naturally be reduced to ashes. I can assert that not a single living organism would survive. Though such an incident had happened only once several centuries ago, people’s vigilance remained high.
The reason people from all over the world had rushed to find Kim Haewon’s guide was because it was a matter of survival. The government was rejoicing at finding me and trying to use him for diplomatic issues.
But what if he stubbornly insisted that he hated me so much that they should find another alternative? I would be the one getting screwed. That’s what Kim Haewon wanted.
Since he wouldn’t go berserk over just one business trip, he was trying to leverage his dangerous condition for negotiation.
“His mind is completely rotten.”
I clicked my tongue in disapproval. Having been used for political purposes his entire life, it wasn’t incomprehensible that Kim Haewon would pull something like this. The Association and Center were already full of such espers and guides. And Kim Haewon, at the very top, would be even worse, not less.
But understanding intellectually didn’t mean I had to accept it emotionally. To be honest, I found it quite outrageous. Thinking that he was trying to pressure me into surrendering this way made my middle finger want to stand at attention.
One reason he could think this way was because he didn’t know the situation inside the Chicago Gate. If he had known that inside was a Special S-class¹⁾ leader, he might not have acted this way.
Battles against monsters of the same element were complex. It was definitely harder to attack and defend against the same element compared to different ones. The hit probability decreased, and even when you thought you blocked properly, the attack could naturally seep through and disappear because you were blocking with the same elemental quality.
Everything was doubled. Twice the energy spent, twice the damage received. It was almost unbearable. Normally, the gate’s elemental attribute would be identified when it opened, but for higher-rank gates, this was often difficult. Our country’s “Gab” and “Eul” levels, equivalent to the “ORANGE” grade, were generally like this.
I decided not to think about it too much. After all, I had been diagnosed with side effects due to an unidentified virus infiltration. The doctor also said that the mental damage was significant, and I might need to consider long-term hospitalization.
In other words, I had room for excuses. If someone asked why I didn’t go with Kim Haewon? First, he didn’t inform me. Second, I was in a state where deployment was impossible due to severe mental damage.
What bothered me was the plot development in the original work. The C-class guide who became an SS-class esper’s guide overnight feels a serious identity confusion. This is because they can’t guide similar ranks, and can only provide minimal guidance to espers of significantly higher ranks. There was also considerable wariness toward the SS-class esper they were paired with. But through this Chicago Gate, they almost die together and resolve the issue.
This was because the guide realized that despite their meager C-class abilities, they were the only one who could guide this SS-class esper. Afterward, the two work together for the common enemy, combining their hearts and strengths to fight the events that unfold.
Thinking through that long story made my chest feel tight again. After all that living together and nearly dying together, as soon as the C-class guide dies, the SS-class esper takes all the fame? Even making sure the guide’s name doesn’t remain for future generations?
No matter how I thought about it, the ending of the previous novel was terribly wrong. If at least the SS-class esper character had done something to ensure that the guide was remembered as a hero, I wouldn’t have left that hateful comment. No. I probably would have softened it significantly.
It would have been disappointing, but my review would have ended with something like, “It was a novel full of righteousness, though the ending was disappointing.” But this novel couldn’t be like that.
“Honestly, wasn’t my comment just self-defense?”
Thinking about it that way made me feel even more wronged. Getting caught up in all this, becoming an S-class guide, and being entangled with Kim Haewon among all those espers. It was all unfair. I turned off the light and rolled over.
In the VIP Emergency Center’s private room, everything was within arm’s reach from the bed. Nurse call, management department call, turning the lights on or off—all of it. Everything was cutting-edge, and the food was delicious too.
“Go ahead and suffer terribly. Foolish guy.”
Lying on my side, I recalled Kim Haewon’s eyes. Those eyes where endless waves flowed, making it impossible to see into them even when making eye contact. I felt unpleasant yet uneasy, and the feeling wouldn’t go away.
* * *
As described in Chapter 3 of <I’ve Been Possessed by a Real-Time Serial Novel>, Kim Haewon didn’t contact me for several days. He seemed thoroughly angry. I yawned widely and headed to the fitness training room.
Even if some abilities had improved after becoming an S-class guide, my body remained the same. However, there was potential for development. With training and more training, the total amount of guiding energy I could use would increase. And at the very least, my running should get a bit faster than before. Various situations or threats could arise.
While Kim Haewon was wary of me being bribed by someone, I conversely had to be wary of someone trying to harm me. Of course, there would be thorough security for Kim Haewon’s only guide, but one never knows what might happen in this world.
“I have to protect my own body.”
The protagonist of the novel also focused on physical training. Unlike me, he didn’t change into an S-class guide but remained C-class. That’s why he was someone who would find it difficult to survive without rigorous training.
The guide protagonist could acquire abilities comparable to muscle-based espers through physical training. Although not high-ranked, he could protect himself in emergency situations.
That’s what made it thrilling.
We were like healers in a game. Constantly increasing our total guiding energy, training, and refining it professionally. But in the end, we were weaklings who would die after just a few hits if someone didn’t protect us.
That’s why I always chose warriors who fight at the front when playing games. I preferred the strongest characters with the best impact, those who kill, get hit, and still don’t die.
Some psychologists said this is related to the primal deficiency guides have. The fact that they are weak, that they can help someone but cannot control the entire situation or overturn the tide—this feeling of powerlessness exists in every guide.
Particularly for A-class or higher guides who are deployed to gates, it can manifest as serious depression.
I never felt it that intensely. Guides of higher rank than me typically waited at the Center. There were occasional business trips, but only when the management department deemed it necessary. So there was no time to feel such things. It was just a feeling that lingered subtly around me all the time.
I wasn’t a profession that moved with a clear sense of mission like an esper. Although I expressed that I contributed somewhat to the public interest, in truth, I was just a salary man.
My safety was more important than global crises, and I was just an ordinary office worker who reacted more sensitively to additional allowances and annual leave. It took a long time to accept this when I was younger.
But I was a veteran with 20 years of experience as a guide. Time dulled many things. Now, that feeling of powerlessness was light enough for me to shake off by having my game character randomly hunt monsters.
“If I hadn’t become S-class, I wouldn’t have to do this… ugh.”
I sighed deeply in front of the exercise equipment I hadn’t faced in a long time. How nice it would be if these things could just be done automatically. I shook my head and exercised according to the instructions of the trainer dispatched from the research wing.
There wasn’t a single easy movement. Except for cardio, all of them seemed designed to kill me. But strangely, my body gradually handled more extreme exercises. I could even add weights that I wouldn’t have dared to attempt before.
“No, I really can’t do this.”
“Guide! You can do it! You can definitely do it!”
The round-faced trainer repeated that I could do it while his eyes sparkled. It seemed that various abilities had increased thanks to the author’s setting change where, unlike the original work, I had become an S-class guide. I shook my head and continued speaking.
“I’m really going to die.”
“People don’t die that easily!”
He was a positive man who didn’t know the meaning of giving up. Smiling brightly, he gradually increased the intensity. I was sweating profusely like laundry in the dehydration process. Eventually, I felt a bit dizzy. The trainer expressed his desire to see me often, burning with enthusiasm. I barely managed to reply, showered, and returned to my hospital room.
“Am I getting muscle fever?”
I crawled into bed, dragging my creaking body. I’ll eat two servings of rice later. That was the only thought in my mind. As soon as my head hit the pillow, sleepiness gently came over me.
I fell asleep, but when I opened my eyes, I wasn’t in the hospital room.
“You’re awake?”
Seeing a woman smiling at me, I screamed, “Aaack!”
¹⁾ This means between S-class and SS-class, commonly called Special S-class or S-class+.
