Chapter 32
When I opened my eyes, Kim Haewon was gone. I awkwardly got up from the bed and scratched my neck. There were two additional IV bags on my arm that I hadn’t seen before. They were probably some kind of nutrients or recovery supplements.
“I think I said something at the end of the guiding… It probably wasn’t anything important.”
I couldn’t remember well. Anyway, it didn’t seem like it was a curse word, so I figured it was fine. Kim Haewon’s interior had a power that stimulated strong desires for control and conquest in guides. The greed to completely guide this space. It was a force more powerful than hypnosis. It was an attraction I had never felt once while guiding until now.
“If I keep this up, my body won’t last.”
From Kim Haewon’s perspective, he’d probably think it was a windfall, but I didn’t. Since the esper wouldn’t consider my circumstances, I needed to regulate myself properly. I lay comfortably on the bed and rested. The honey-sweet rest and expensive recovery supplements were sweet.
“S-class treatment is really nice. They should share some with C-class too.”
Everything was perfect, from the soft bed, appropriate temperature and humidity, delicious food, to the immediate medical treatment taken after guiding ended.
If they treated everyone like this, guides hiding all over the country would rush to register with the association. Since they don’t, everyone forgets they’re guides and lives as civilians instead. I fell back into the cozy world of sleep. It was still a world where there was nothing to worry about.
* * *
Kim Haewon appeared the next day, and the day after that too. He said nothing about the changes that had occurred in his body. I tried not to repeat the mistake of the first day, and I didn’t collapse into Kim Haewon’s arms.
Still, even after guiding ended, Kim Haewon would sit quietly for a long while before leaving. He would just sit there without any conversation. Unable to bear the silence, I spoke first.
“Aren’t you leaving?”
“I will.”
“Well, how’s the guiding effect?”
“Not bad.”
Kim Haewon spoke without even making eye contact with me. I glanced at the tablet PC Kim Haewon was looking at and continued.
“What, nothing more? Just ‘not bad’ is it? Like feeling refreshed, or having a clear head… Or if there’s anything lacking, if you tell me I can…”
“This is enough. Don’t try harder.”
Kim Haewon drew a firm line. I felt like I’d been cut by the line he drew. My heart, which had been trying to speak as positively as possible, also felt sharp.
“There’s nothing more to try harder at anyway? I’m already doing my best. Even when I speak, you always…”
“So who asked you to go that far?”
“What did you say?”
“I’m saying there’s no need to guide to the point where you can’t even control your own body.”
“I’m adjusting well so that doesn’t happen.”
“I’ve managed fine without it anyway. So just do it at an appropriate level.”
“Ah, I got it! Even when I try to care, you give me shit. Really.”
“Guide Park Garam.”
“You won’t even let me do well, seriously. I said I got it.”
Kim Haewon really had a talent for making all affection for a person drip away. I lay down on the bed regardless of whether Kim Haewon left or not. Kim Haewon sighed and got up from his seat.
“Don’t think about being nice to me, just take care of yourself.”
Kim Haewon said that and left. I bolted upright from the bed. I had no idea what had made that person twist up like a pretzel.
I was trying my best to get along well, but it kept failing.
‘He definitely hates me way too much.’
Did I do something so hateable? The thought made my chest feel stuffy. I had never gone so against someone’s wishes before. Could it be that the novel and emotional development are completely opposite? I kicked the blanket by myself while muttering small curses.
“Bastard.”
I thought the nickname was well-chosen. Nothing could fit more perfectly. Knock knock. There was a knocking sound. After Kim Haewon left, a nurse would unfailingly visit. Since that day, even though I hadn’t collapsed again, they gave me nutrients and recovery supplements without fail. They carefully asked if my condition was okay. People from the research building also came to measure guiding energy-related things.
The very Kim Haewon who received my guiding was like ‘I don’t need someone like you!’, but other people seemed anxious that they weren’t treating me well enough. That difference seemed to make me feel a bit more miserable.
After a bunch of people came and went, I left the hospital room. It was to meet Han Miyeon. A researcher from the center had delivered news about her.
Han Miyeon had awakened and expressed her desire to meet with me. I firmly refused, saying thanks would be enough, but apparently she had even asked in advance to persuade me again if I refused.
I neatly arranged the coat I wore over my hospital gown and headed to the hospital room where Han Miyeon was. She was an A-class who technically couldn’t be in the VIP ward, but since she was a victim of guiding kidnapping, she was being treated in the prime room with the best security in the VIP ward.
She was sitting in the room looking out the window. The bed was half-raised, so she was essentially lying down.
I hadn’t really noticed inside the gate, but she was a beauty with large eyes and distinct features. Even with her pale complexion, her beauty was immediately apparent. When I stared at her, she opened her lips.
“Guide Park Garam-nim?”
“Ah! Yes. Hello. I heard you were looking for me.”
“Thank you for saving me.”
“Not at all. Of course I had to save you. And it wasn’t me who found you, it was Esper Kim Haewon who told me.”
“Still. They said if Guide Park Garam hadn’t given me emergency treatment, I might not have regained consciousness.”
I didn’t know the actions I took had that much meaning. It was just general emergency treatment after all. I stood by the hospital room door and nodded. Han Miyeon gestured for me to come closer. I approached as she gestured and sat in the chair.
“What happened to Ihyeon-ssi…?”
“It seems to have been handled with internal discipline from the Esper Department. Still, guiding kidnapping is classified as a very serious crime by the association, so probably he’ll never again do such a thing…”
“Ihyeon-ssi didn’t do it!”
Han Miyeon burst out loudly. I looked at her with a bewildered expression. She took several breaths and continued.
“Ihyeon-ssi didn’t do that. He’s not someone who would do such a thing to me.”
“I’m sorry you think that way.”
I spoke as if I was genuinely regretful. There were often guides who defended espers. Even when they were the victims themselves. I had seen many people of that type.
They were usually lovers or in similar relationships. When you use someone’s feelings of affection, the crime becomes lighter. The victims would step forward and request leniency. That made me even angrier. Han Miyeon looked at me with tears welling up.
“It’s true. Ihyeon-ssi was always kind to me. He never once played around with guiding or harmed others.”
“Can you be certain?”
“Pardon?”
“I’m asking if you can really be certain.”
“That’s…”
“It’s not like they’re idiots who would treat you like they’re about to commit a crime from the start, right? Even Han Miyeon-ssi can’t be certain. We just trust them and work with them. Frankly speaking, say there are ten criminals among a hundred people passing by. How many do you think you could guess correctly?”
At my words, Han Miyeon bit her lower lip. A tear dropped from her large eyes. From her position, it could have been shocking to have such a thing done by an esper she trusted. But to never experience such a thing again in the future, she needed an even stronger heart.
I thought I needed to tell her the facts even if it could hurt her. However, I couldn’t just tear open someone’s wounds as I pleased. I spoke as indirectly as possible about how he had found Han Miyeon but hadn’t told me.
“If Esper Kim Haewon hadn’t been there.”
“…”
“I wouldn’t have found Guide Han Miyeon.”
“That would have been the case. I heard about that too.”
Han Miyeon wiped her tears with tissue. She didn’t seem convinced at all. Rather, she seemed to have steeled her heart even more as she spoke forcefully.
“But if he receives discipline from the Esper Department, they say Ihyeon-ssi will face sanctions like drug injection or ability restrictions.”
I was at a loss for words at her reaction. She was only worried about Nam Ihyeon. Even though she was being treated almost like she was imprisoned, even though she had nearly lost her life a few days ago. She kept wiping her tears and appealed to me.
“Please say that’s not what happened. The association doesn’t want to believe what I say. In cases like Esper Kim Haewon or Guide Park Garam-nim, since you’re S-class, you have more influence. If you could change your testimony or something…”
“Listen here, Han Miyeon-ssi.”
“…”
“Still can’t come to your senses? You almost died. You forgive him, Nam Ihyeon doesn’t get disciplined, and everything ends nicely?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“There will definitely be another victim. As a fellow guide, is it okay if someone else dies because of my soft heart? If you have that level of responsibility, just quit being a guide. I never expected to have to say this to someone who’s an A-class guide.”
I spoke sharply. She needed to be more firm and cold. Instead of calling me out to ask me to prevent Nam Ihyeon from being disciplined, she should have been researching ways for him to receive harsher discipline.
That way, no one dies. Not for such a futile reason.
I angrily got up from my seat. Han Miyeon was looking at me while tears streamed down.
“I hope we don’t have to see each other again over talk like this. I’ll be going.”
“Ihyeon-ssi wasn’t the one!”
Han Miyeon screamed while crying. I stopped in place.
