# Chapter 13
‘He looks more approachable than I expected’
I just gave a quick eye greeting, then gestured to him as I had done with Director Ham. I pointed to my throat and made an X sign. This conveyed that my voice wasn’t working. It was a simple action, but body language everyone understood.
“Ah, you can’t speak. I’m truly, truly sorry. Our Esper was practically on the verge of going berserk then… He probably doesn’t even remember it. But I’m really sorry. I heard you need absolute rest. Have you been able to get enough rest?”
I made an X sign with my fingers. Then I opened my phone’s notepad and typed a message.
Too many people coming by
Hwang Changho read the message and continued with a friendly smile.
“It’s always like this when something big happens. But it’s been a few days now, so people shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”
He added that he knew this from being by Kim Haewon’s side through many similar situations. I immediately erased my note and wrote what I wanted to ask.
Why isn’t Esper Kim Haewon coming to visit me himself?
“Ah… Our Esper is… how should I put it, he finds these things a bit awkward. There’s something that he… struggles with… So I’ve come in his place!”
Awkward? I raised one eyebrow and gave a wry smile.
The association guidelines say pairs should look after their guides, or so I was told before
“Ahaha! Did our Esper tell you that? Ahaha. That’s right. Normally, looking after a pair guide is practically an obligation, but this is the first time our Esper has formed a pair relationship, so…”
Hwang Changho took out a handkerchief and dabbed at his wide forehead. He seemed to be trying to skillfully lead the conversation, but had apparently failed. He awkwardly handed me the gift he’d been holding.
What is this?
“It’s pear and bellflower root juice. They say it’s good for the throat. It comes in stick packets, so I heard it’s easy to take one at a time.”
He watched my reaction as if he was used to this kind of damage control. It seemed habitual for Kim Haewon to cause accidents and for his secretary to clean up afterward. But I couldn’t exactly snap at him and tell him to forget about the pear juice or whatever and just bring Kim Haewon here.
I’ll enjoy it. Thank you for your thoughtfulness
Hwang Changho read the message slowly and then continued speaking while waving his hands.
“Not at all, not at all. I should have greeted you first, but with all the commotion, I couldn’t meet you at the scene and am only seeing you here in the hospital room, which I deeply regret. From now on, please think of me as your secretary as well and feel free to contact me anytime.”
Kim Haewon would flip if he knew his secretary was working for me too. Or he’d go ballistic. Better to just eat well and live well on my own than to witness that tantrum.
Thank you for the kind words. I have a busy schedule and I’m feeling tired. Could you please leave for today?
I wrote the message as politely as possible. Hwang Changho got up from his seat the moment he finished reading it, as if he’d been waiting for this.
“Then I’ll see you again! Get plenty of rest!”
He hurried out of the hospital room. I looked at the pear and bellflower root juice on the bedside table. I almost had my neck vertebrae dislocated, and they’re giving me juice? But at least he brought something. His effort was commendable.
‘The secretary has it rough too. Having to deal with a jerk like that…’
I clicked my tongue briefly and picked up my phone again. The novel application that had been frozen earlier was now running smoothly as if nothing had happened. I tapped on episodes 5 through the latest one in order. Episode 5 described what happened in Chicago. It was about Kim Haewon, who emerged from the gate almost unconscious after catching the last monster.
Haewon thought this might be his end. Since things had come to this, wouldn’t it be better to go berserk inside the gate? No. The gate itself might explode. Or he might become the world’s strongest monster.
When S-class espers went berserk, they became neither more nor less than monsters. Haewon too, throughout his life as an esper, had personally killed many espers who could no longer be controlled. He wanted to avoid such an end.
‘Can’t I just die quietly like this?’
No. He could live. Haewon thought he could somehow prevent going berserk. He thought he could endure this sensation of all his blood vessels trying to burst out of his body. That’s how he had endured. For countless days. So he could do it this time too.
Thinking that, he went outside the gate. When he briefly lost consciousness and then regained it, he heard someone’s voice. Damn, it was that guide. Park Garam. His pair guide was here.
Kim Haewon wasn’t happy about my appearance. He considered it no different from having a civilian present in a situation where he might go berserk. That’s why he had pushed me away.
‘Is he an idiot? He only knows one thing and not the other.’
I wasn’t a civilian but his pair guide. I was also the only person who could save him. Partly due to his clouded judgment, he didn’t seem to recognize me as his guide.
“Get out.”
“…”
“Right now.”
Haewon spoke harshly. To warn him, he gripped his neck tightly. Of course, he tried to use as little strength as possible. Like holding a raw egg. But Garam’s face turned bright red, and he sputtered.
The problem was that in the midst of this, he attempted to guide him. A strange energy flowed into his body. Haewon couldn’t do anything for a moment. He shouted not to mess around, but he didn’t run away. Instead, he embraced Haewon. He grabbed his neck tightly and didn’t let go.
Haewon couldn’t push him away immediately. Because the moment he completely embraced him, he tasted pure bliss spreading throughout his body.
It was a very brief moment. The moment Garam’s energy touched somewhere inside, everything felt calm. The pain that had been spiking like thorns was instantly resolved.
Haewon reflexively pushed Garam away. Partly because he couldn’t believe the change in his body, but also because Garam was coughing up blood.
Someone else dying in his place? That couldn’t happen. As an esper, it was unacceptable.
Though he had pushed with very light force, Garam’s body was thrown to the corner of the isolation center. Garam’s small body compared to Haewon’s crumpled like paper and then straightened out. Sprawled out, he regulated his breath for a while before softly muttering.
“Guiding… complete.”
Haewon, with his consciousness fading, saw the look in his eyes. His eyes that were looking at him while slowly closing his eyelids. A strange emotion seemed to swirl inside him.
‘Strange emotion? That’s what you call guilt, you jerk.’
I clicked my tongue as I scrolled down from the novel. Episode 5 ended there. The comments section was in chaos.
[Reader1] Send Kim Haewon to the Lord…
⤷ One man is coming to the Lord.
⤷ No! Our Haewon shouldn’t be sent away yet! ㅠㅠ
[Reader2] 10,000 regret points accumulated!^^
[Reader3] Garam is so pitiful…
⤷ Garam is really so pitiful ㅠㅠ heartbreaking
But there weren’t any words I could understand the meaning of. Why was the Lord suddenly appearing, and why were points being accumulated? This seemed like something that wouldn’t get an answer even if posted on a portal site’s knowledge Q&A.
Still, in previous novels, there was the enjoyment of figuring things out together, but since I couldn’t understand what the BL genre was, all the comments were incomprehensible.
Anyway, it seemed fortunate that there were more people on my side than on Kim Haewon’s. I immediately clicked on Episode 6. Episode 6 was densely filled with scenes of me regaining consciousness and receiving all sorts of visitors. There was also the story of Hwang Changho who had just visited.
And it depicted me checking the real-time serialized novel. In the novel, I was reading the serialized parts and trying to understand Kim Haewon’s feelings.
‘What nonsense. I’m furious, so why is this Park Garam understanding everything?’
The Park Garam in the novel felt pity for Kim Haewon. The real me didn’t feel that way at all. The text contained many emotional errors. If my emotions were misrepresented, then many of Kim Haewon’s emotions must have been misinterpreted as well.
If only I could show the novel to him soon… He would probably get angry and somehow change the situation. Since he was more sensitive about his reputation being tarnished than about me being in trouble, it would definitely work.
The problem was how to meet him face to face. I started reading more to find a hint. The latter half of Episode 6 focused on describing Kim Haewon’s psychology.
I scrolled down with a displeased expression. That was because the first sentence describing his psychology was awful.
Haewon hated how Garam kept popping up in his mind. It was a face he wanted to cut out with a knife.
That was what I should be saying. It was so absurd that it made me feel stifled. I pounded my chest as if I had indigestion.
“Ugh.”
But I quickly hunched my shoulders from the pain that suddenly rose. Nothing was going right. I waited until the pain subsided before scrolling down.
