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“Ah, quickly, pull it out quickly….”
Cha Geonhyeok’s fingers bent. After scraping inside for a while, he pulled out his fingers. The condom tickled the entrance of the hole as it came out. Haa. I released the strength in my lower abdomen and collapsed onto the bed. I had no strength in my body at all. I just exhaled with a lifeless face.
The sound of Cha Geonhyeok’s footsteps moving away as he got up from the bed grew distant. I thought he was going to wash up, but after rustling around for a moment, he turned off the lights in the studio apartment and came back. He turned on the bedside lamp and lay down next to me on his stomach. He propped up his chin and looked down at me. I wondered why he was doing that.
“Why are you staring?”
“Can’t I look a bit?”
I didn’t like it, but there was no reason why he couldn’t. Look or don’t. I closed my eyes that had been looking up at him. From my calves to my feet were hanging outside the mattress. Too lazy to lie down properly, I pretended not to notice and buried my face in the pillow.
Gravity eagerly pulled down my overworked body. I was tired enough to feel it, but sleep didn’t come. My hair was disheveled. It was because Cha Geonhyeok touched it. He moved his hand ticklishly then pulled it as if playing around.
“Hey.”
I called him without opening my eyes or moving. What. He answered.
“Are you drunk?”
“I’m sober now.”
As expected, he had been drunk earlier. I opened my eyes while recalling the correlation between drunk Cha Geonhyeok and ice cream. I saw his face with his hand and gaze on my hair. The orange light touched him so there was a shadow on half his face with his high nose as the border. I looked at him, then opened my mouth.
“I think Minyeong likes you.”
“Suddenly?”
Cha Geonhyeok, who laughed with a snort, withdrew his hand. He looked at the empty white wall. Now I could see his complete profile.
“How did you reject her?”
I asked him. He turned his body that had been lying on his stomach and looked at me while propping up the side of his head. He flicked my cheek with his finger. I flinched a bit but it didn’t hurt.
“I said I have someone I like.”
“…Do people normally reject someone like that?”
“What are you curious about?”
I turned to lie on my side facing Cha Geonhyeok to have a proper conversation. I bent the leg that had been hanging out. I pulled the blanket I was lying on and clumsily covered myself.
“I was wondering what to do if I also get confessed to by a girl.”
“……”
“Don’t laugh at me.”
Cha Geonhyeok wrinkled his nose bridge and laughed quietly. I slapped his firm chest.
“I know I’m not popular, but still….”
“You’re not popular?”
“…I am, but I’m not.”
There was no more accurate expression than this. Since I was young, I got along well with girls. Usually they approached me first, I often received gifts, and sometimes hung out with them after school. But I’d only been confessed to twice in my life. It didn’t seem like they wanted me to confess either. They were all just, friends. Did it show that I’m gay? Or else….
“I guess I don’t look like a man to them.”
“You look like a man.”
Cha Geonhyeok put the hand he’d stretched down into the blanket. He shallowly inserted one finger into the moist hole. I lowered the corners of my lips and looked at him with round eyes. I didn’t know what was what, but I was just kind of grateful for his answer. He gave me a short kiss as if reading my gaze. Ah. His finger came in deeper.
“Want to do it one more time? Not the hard way this time.”
“…That wasn’t that kind of look.”
“I know. I was planning to do it one more time anyway.”
“What?”
“I told you. That it’s a waste.”
Cha Geonhyeok, who pulled out his finger, wrapped around my waist and pulled me. He turned and laid my body down without any effort. His cock touched my ass. The hole felt ticklish. The motion of rubbing his cock in the sunken valley and hardening it firmly was so natural that I let out an empty laugh.
“What’s a waste? By the way, I asked you this earlier too and you ignored me.”
I asked while looking back at him over my shoulder. He, who had slipped one arm under my head, tore open a condom he must have gotten at some point. He really was planning to do it one more time.
Smack. Cha Geonhyeok, who lightly kissed near my ear, shook and erected his cock that had gotten a bit hard. He put on the condom and rubbed the hole with his glans. I, who gave up on hearing an answer, lay down flatly using his arm as a pillow and released the tension below. I exhaled. His cock came in slowly.
“Ah…. It hurts….”
“That’s why.”
Cha Geonhyeok said while chewing on my earlobe. This time too, I couldn’t understand what he was saying.
“What do you mean, that’s why?”
“Because you hurt like this every time, when I open you up once, I try to do it multiple times. Does it hurt now too?”
I was confused whether I should get angry at his words that seemed to find my body vulnerable to pain oddly bothersome, or whether I should thank him for being considerate of me hurting. I lost words in contemplation. Meanwhile, Cha Geonhyeok’s hand was widely cupping and stroking my lower abdomen.
“This much. Is it deep?”
Cha Geonhyeok, who had filled my insides to some degree with his cock, stopped inserting and asked.
“…No.”
He kissed the corner of my mouth and gently shook his hips. The cock that came inside my body pleasantly rubbed my winding insides. It felt like floating on water.
“Mmnh, gently….”
“Yes, yes.”
I liked the gentle movement. So, what of this and what of that. Anyway, Cha Geonhyeok took time to loosen me up below every time we slept together. Without any complaints, with unhurried hands. I thought this level of manners was enough.
“Touch your stomach more?”
“Yeah…. Touch it….”
I closed my eyes while holding onto Cha Geonhyeok’s gently moving hand. My mood was soft and squishy.
* * *
I ladled the clearly boiled bean sprout soup into a small bowl. With neat movements, I slurped and tasted it. Whoever made it, it tasted good. Very.
“Hey, come here.”
I called Cha Geonhyeok, who was playing a mobile game at the dining table behind me. The cheerfully ringing game sound stopped abruptly. He, wearing only training pants, approached.
“What.”
“Take out the kimchi from the fridge and plate it. If there’s anything else you want to eat, take that out too.”
Cha Geonhyeok scratched his shoulder and headed to the fridge. He rattled around taking out this and that and threw the side dishes into bowls. While ladling the soup, I glanced at him then frowned. I could let the other things slide, but I couldn’t not say something about how he was plating the kimchi like a beggar. I turned off the gas and went to his side, slapping his exposed forearm.
“Plate it prettily. In a row like this.”
He squinted one eye a bit, but Cha Geonhyeok didn’t argue with my words and prettily repositioned the kimchi. I nodded to give an okay sign. I took the soup bowls and rice bowls to the dining table and sat down. Cha Geonhyeok carried the side dishes to fill the table and sat across from me.
I took a deep breath once and picked up my spoon. Cha Geonhyeok, who had already started eating, took his chopsticks evenly to the side dishes spread on the table.
The side dishes were all my work. I grew up under working parents and often ate alone, and at some point I started making my own food. Seeing how buying ingredients and making food wasn’t bothersome, I might match well with cooking. It also feels good when someone eats deliciously. I, who had been watching Cha Geonhyeok’s hands, slowly started eating.
“Why are you eating so little by little? Aren’t you hungry?”
While eating in comfortable silence, Cha Geonhyeok, who had already finished his bean sprout soup, got up from his seat to refill and asked. Compared to Cha Geonhyeok’s rice bowl that was half gone, my rice was almost intact.
“Just….”
“Nervous?”
Cha Geonhyeok teased me. But his words were right. I was nervous. I put down my spoon and buried my face in both hands. Thud. Cha Geonhyeok, who came back after filling his soup, continued his meal. Tap, he touched my ankle with the tip of his foot.
“It’s still eleven o’clock. Eat and get nervous from three.”
It was, in its own way, wise advice. I exhaled a long sigh, lowered the hands covering my face, and resumed eating. My cheeks were warm.
Last night, after finishing sex that was both messy and soft, I fell asleep as if fainting and woke up late. As soon as I did, I checked my phone. Waah! And I screamed. Cha Geonhyeok, who bolted up at my voice while sleeping, squinted his eyes and asked what it was. I thrust my phone screen in front of his face.
[My phone battery died so I just saw the message now. Sorry. But why tomorrow? I’m not busy tomorrow.]
It was Woogyun’s message that came a little past midnight. I was definitely awake then, but I was in the middle of doing it with Cha Geonhyeok so I couldn’t hear the sound. I hope another appointment didn’t come up in the meantime—when I told Cha Geonhyeok, he answered yeah and lay back down flat. I lay on my stomach next to him and tapped the keyboard, and after getting confirmation, I sent a reply to Woogyun.
[Sorry, I just saw it too! It’s nothing else, I’m planning to go to an art supply store, so if you’re okay with it, I was thinking we could go together.]
Originally I wrote more at length. Something about hobbies, something about buying a meal or buying coffee. It was Cha Geonhyeok who deleted all those sentences. He said to just send it like this for now, and either continue the conversation more or talk when we meet. Thanks to that, I exchanged messages with Woogyun five more times, and we decided to meet at the bus stop near my house at 4 PM. It was a meeting place Woogyun chose considering me, who was new to the art supply store route. I was grateful and nervous. It was the first time. Today’s appointment was the first time meeting just the two of us.
