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Part. 1
*Splat.*
The condom that had finished its job was shoved into the trash can. With a dazed expression, I lay face down before frowning and lifting my upper body. I crawled down from the low mattress and stuck my hand into the trash can. Picking up the damp condom with my fingertips, I threw it at the chest of Cha Geonhyeok, who was fastening his belt. *Splat.* A similar sound rang out once more.
“Ah, fuck. What the hell?”
Cha Geonhyeok peeled off the condom stuck to his chest with an unpleasant expression. I made it abundantly clear that I was just as displeased as Cha Geonhyeok.
“Why are you throwing what you came in into my room’s trash? Take care of it yourself on your way out.”
“It’s not like it’s the first or second time. Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
Cha Geonhyeok snorted mockingly and grabbed my ankle, pulling me toward him. *Ngh.* I let out a moan as I was dragged to him. His fingers entered the hole. Wondering what he was doing, I lifted my upper body and just blinked stupidly when he rummaged inside my moist hole and then shoved the semen-filled condom in.
“You crazy bastard!”
I sat up abruptly and grabbed his wrist, shaking it off. He chuckled and cupped my face with one hand. The kiss came naturally. *Mmm.* I moaned unconsciously, exhaling through my nose as I grabbed onto Cha Geonhyeok’s shoulder. *Tilt.* As if it were the natural next step, my body leaned backward.
Cha Geonhyeok and I, college classmates, ended up in this kind of relationship a month ago at a drinking party among freshmen. Twenty-year-olds who had just become adults and developed a taste for drinking, singing, and dancing gathered to drink what felt like every other day, and on that particular day, some who rarely showed their faces attended the drinking party. First, there was Cha Geonhyeok, and then there was Jang Woogyun.
Setting aside Cha Geonhyeok, whom I had no interest in, what mattered to me was Jang Woogyun. Tall and fair-skinned Jang Woogyun. Woogyun. I had a crush on him.
Rather than laughing loudly, Woogyun smiled gently, was kind and sweet to everyone, and was smart too. He had the image of a student council president or a young master. That’s not to say I had simply fallen head over heels for his handsome appearance and image alone. There was a reasonably decent reason for why I came to like him.
During the freshman orientation at a resort in the mountains, I snuck out of my room completely drunk. I barely managed to escape the building, avoiding the eyes of the student council seniors standing guard in the hallways, and crouched down in a corner of the deserted parking lot without streetlights. I had boldly run away because I didn’t want to drink anymore. But perhaps I had been too bold—before even five minutes had passed, a student council senior shone a flashlight and shouted, “Who’s there!”
I was out of it from the alcohol. So I couldn’t even open my eyes properly and just kept muttering “I’m screwed” to myself. That’s when Woogyun helped me. Revealing himself from a secluded spot not far from where I was, he approached the senior with steady steps and bowed his head apologetically. When he said he had received an important phone call and ended up coming all the way here while looking for a quiet place, the senior said it was fine. Perhaps thanks to the character he exuded or something, the senior didn’t get angry at all and considerately told Woogyun to finish his call before coming back.
After the senior left, Woogyun came over next to me hiding in the darkness and lowered himself down.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t get caught.”
Woogyun said that and smiled quietly. Even though he knew I had entered the parking lot and hidden here, he didn’t sell me out. Instead, he helped me and smiled, gently exhaling hot alcohol-mixed breath into the chilly air. Above our heads as we sat side by side with our shoulders touching, a brilliant full moon hung in the sky. It was romantic. At least, to me as a gay man, it was.
After that, going to school became enjoyable. I was happy to run into Woogyun every time we attended major classes, and whenever I happened to spot him at the convenience store or cafeteria, my voice would rise without me realizing it. I liked him more and more.
I wanted to see Woogyun, who had taken my heart bit by bit—no, completely—for longer. If I got the chance, I wanted to try talking to him. So I aimed for the frequently held drinking parties. It was a scheme to borrow the power of alcohol. But unfortunately, Woogyun rarely showed up at drinking parties.
Because of my personality that became unnecessarily timid in front of someone I liked, I couldn’t ask Woogyun if he would come to today’s drinking party and attended most drinking parties instead. I foolishly waited for him to show up there. I had to waste my still-fresh liver and time, but I couldn’t give up. Woogyun’s pink smile when drunk was worth that much. Also, I couldn’t let go of the hope—or delusion—that if I drank together with him, we might become a little closer.
The long wait ended, and when Woogyun came to the drinking party a month ago, fanfare rang in my ears. Woogyun had attended the classmates’ drinking party after a full three weeks. I heartily greeted him, happy to see him. Naturally, the warm and affectionate Woogyun accepted my greeting with a high-temperature smile.
However, because we ended up sitting at opposite ends of several tables pushed together, we were too far apart to have any conversation after that. I was disappointed. Even from afar, Woogyun was wonderful enough, but my insides kept hurting because I couldn’t clink glasses with him. So I drank. Without knowing what game was going on or how, when my classmates said “Hey, you drink!” I drank. Then at some point, I banged my head on the table and lost consciousness. And when I opened my eyes a short while later, I was alone at the table.
My classmates hadn’t ditched just me like thugs. Their belongings were scattered here and there on the sofas. If there was something different from before I fell asleep, it was the number of tables. I think there had been more at first, but at that time there were only two. It seemed only a few remained after those with curfews all went home. Those who remained had probably gone out to smoke. And Woogyun doesn’t smoke. It seemed he had left. Again, I was disappointed.
I had planned to leave the bar together. Woogyun lives with his parents quite far from school, and I live alone nearby, so I had made a tiny plan to tell Woogyun to sleep over at my place if he got really drunk. But that plan went down the drain without even being attempted because I had drunk myself silly.
You stupid idiot. Cursing inwardly, I picked up my phone. With a disappointed heart, I scrolled through my call log and called the only friend who knew I was gay. And I complained.
“I really, really was planning to just let him sleep if Woogyun said he’d stay over. You know, right? I’m not that much of a pervert, am I? But just in case, if Woogyun really said he wanted to do it with me, I was totally willing to spread my ass. You know, right? I’m a super passionate person…”
“What, you do guys too?”
And then he appeared. Cha Geonhyeok.
I froze with my mouth open and turned my head, making eye contact with Cha Geonhyeok, who was leaning against my tall sofa backrest, looking down at me.
“Are you gay?”
Cha Geonhyeok asked. My friend was saying something on the other end of the phone, but I couldn’t hear it well. Cha Geonhyeok’s hand approached. Gripping my lower jaw, he put his thumb inside my slightly parted mouth.
“Wanna sleep with me?”
The touch pressing down firmly on my lower teeth felt unfamiliar. His finger touched the tip of my tongue. Blank. I was blank.
“Lee Yunhae. I’m asking if you’ll sleep with me.”
“By sleep, you mean…”
“You said you were passionate, didn’t you?”
*Pfft,* he laughed. He smelled like cigarettes. Soon, the classmates returned to the table making a ruckus. Cha Geonhyeok withdrew his hand nonchalantly and walked around the table to sit directly across from me. That seemed to be his seat. Now that I thought about it, it was.
“Lee Yunhae, you’re finally awake? You’ll drink more, right? Sir, one more bottle of soju here!”
The classmate sitting next to me, who tapped my shoulder, raised his voice. My lips twitched. My stiffly frozen mind was being pounded with a hammer when Cha Geonhyeok, who had taken a sip of alcohol, leaned toward me.
“But is the Gyun you mentioned by any chance Jang Woo—”
“I’ll let you sleep over!”
I shouted as I stood up abruptly. The eyes of the classmates who were pouring soju into glasses—who knows what bottle number it was—gathered on me. I swallowed dryly and held out my hand to Cha Geonhyeok.
“L-let’s go. I’ll let you sleep at my place…”
My voice grew smaller and smaller. My hand even trembled slightly in embarrassment. I frowned pointlessly and avoided his eyes. Cha Geonhyeok let out a laugh, put down his glass, and stood up.
“I’m honored.”
He spoke in a mischievous tone, lightly tapped my hand, and left his seat first. After cursing about three times inwardly, I grabbed my phone and bag.
“Hey, Lee Yunhae. When I asked to sleep over, you wouldn’t let me.”
“Right, can’t we come too?”
“It’s too small. See you tomorrow. Bye.”
I roughly said goodbye to my classmates and left the bar. I struggled up the stairs with a body that hadn’t completely sobered up and stood next to Cha Geonhyeok, who was smoking in front of the building. I bit my lip tightly. We had just enrolled not long ago, and there was still a long way until graduation, but my being gay had been found out. The fortunate thing was that there was a very high possibility that Cha Geonhyeok was the same.
“Hey, are you really going to… sleep with me?”
When the cigarette between Cha Geonhyeok’s fingers had burned halfway down, I asked him. Cha Geonhyeok casually flicked off the cigarette ash and looked me up and down. Then he raised one corner of his lips and nodded.
“Do you have condoms at home?”
“I do… have some…”
“You’re passionate.”
