Haeyoung reflexively stopped in his tracks. As long as Seonwoo was here, it would be impossible not to run into him, but acting nonchalant every time they met was quite a difficult thing.
Because he couldn’t be nonchalant.
“Were you waiting for me?”
Though he noticed they’d been waiting for him, Haeyoung asked Jaehwi with a needless smile.
Jaehwi readily nodded his head. At his face that seemed like he had something to say, Haeyoung approached him. During that time, at the gaze he felt from the side, Haeyoung hid his clenched fist behind his back.
“Seonwoo-ssi asked if we could switch rooms.”
To Haeyoung who had approached him, Jaehwi brought up a bombshell statement. At the unexpected words, Haeyoung, who flinched noticeably, reflexively turned his head toward Seonwoo.
And he immediately met dark pupils. The unwavering pupils, as if they had never left him even once, were soon hidden beneath long eyelashes that draped down following the curving eye lines.
A white face that contrasted distinctly with his black hair. The bright smile that surfaced above it was what Haeyoung had been longing for all along.
That’s why Yoon Haeyoung felt like crying just a little bit.
“He said he’s shy around strangers, and kindly enough, everyone said it’s okay to switch.”
Seonwoo spoke cheerfully as if he was extremely pleased with others’ kindness. At those words, Haeyoung’s lips that had been chewed finely until just now parted slightly.
……Shy around strangers? Who? Cha Seonwoo?
Haeyoung was momentarily at a loss for words at the lie he was brazenly bringing up. If someone who knew Cha Seonwoo heard it, it was something they’d sneer at saying it wasn’t even funny.
“We weren’t an ordinary relationship, you know.”
The words he brought up were an extension of what had been said at the dinner table earlier.
Cha Seonwoo spoke gently while still tilting his head with a smiling face. Both his voice and smile were all gentle, yet for some reason Haeyoung felt an inexplicable sense of incongruity.
“It seems like Haeyoung-ssi is the only one who wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with me…”
The soft shell immediately dried and crumbled on his skin, and unlike the shell, only the sharp core easily dug deep inside Haeyoung.
And that was probably because of the content of the words. Unlike his words, the only person who would feel uncomfortable with Cha Seonwoo in this place was himself.
‘…I’m screwed.’
Haeyoung drooped his shoulders while trying hard to calm his noisy insides. And around the time Seonwoo’s lips that had been drawing a curve were stiffening, he nodded with an awkward smile.
***
Yoon Haeyoung needed money. He needed it really desperately, and so he appeared on a dating program he normally wouldn’t have given any attention to.
Whatever the reason, since he’d agreed to appear, everything that happened afterward was something he had to take responsibility for. So Haeyoung accepted the situation of having to unconditionally date while living with strangers for a month, and even if he didn’t have such feelings, he also accepted the situation where his emotions might be fabricated like a drama and displayed in front of others for the program’s entertainment.
However, appearing together with an ex-lover, and moreover becoming roommates with him, was something that didn’t exist among the many situations he’d prepared for. In front of the perfectly ruined plan, Haeyoung let out a sigh while clutching his complicated head.
Ding-
Of course, the Truman Show Haeyoung participated in didn’t give the characters time to worry. He, who had been sitting perched on the edge of the bed, turned his head following the phone notification sound.
The source of the sound was the phone placed on the small table beside Seonwoo’s bed. The notification sound rang several times, then several messages appeared on the screen.
However, there was no time to stare blankly. Haeyoung lowered his head again at the vibration he felt from the phone he was holding. Though it wasn’t saved, a familiar number appeared on the screen.
Along with a message whose meaning he couldn’t understand.
「Let’s get along well from now on haha」
Haeyoung, who had been looking down at the text on the screen for a moment, realized it was sent to him by another participant. He, who belatedly opened his eyes wide, read the message again.
The brief message containing both awkwardness and gladness was enough to fluster Haeyoung. Of course, though it was bewildering that a message came to him, Haeyoung didn’t think he lacked charm. He’d also thought such a situation could arise while filming the program.
However, such thoughts shattered to pieces the moment Cha Seonwoo set foot in this house. Even while worrying about who to send the text to, Haeyoung thought that if choosing based on first impressions alone, there was only one person to choose.
“I thought everyone would send it to hyung…”
He muttered while looking down at the message with a dazed face.
Then the contacts that just came to Seonwoo’s phone must all be messages sent by other participants too. Haeyoung looked toward the dress room inside the room rather than at Seonwoo’s phone.
Inside the dress room was a bathroom, and it was after Seonwoo, who had organized his luggage, went in saying he’d wash up first. Haeyoung, who had been unconsciously watching where he would be, raised his hand to roughly dishevel his hair. Then he got up from his seat, removed the microphone attached to his clothes, and went out to the terrace attached to the room.
The place where they all moved in together for program filming was a two-story country house. Cameras were hidden here and there throughout the large house, even installed in the garden.
Cameras existed even in places you wouldn’t notice unless you were aware. However, Haeyoung, who had heard from Hajin in advance about where the cameras roughly were, went out to the terrace as if it was natural.
There might be other blind spots, but for now, according to what he heard from her, the only places free from cameras were the bathroom and the terrace attached to each room. Haeyoung, who crossed the fairly spacious terrace and reached the railing, made a call without hesitation.
– …Oh, Haeyoung! What’s up!
Just as he was about to become anxious at the connection tone that was lengthening unlike usual, an artificially bright voice was heard from beyond the receiver. Along with the awkward laughter characteristic of someone with a guilty conscience.
The protagonist who answered the phone was none other than Hajin.
It was brazen how she pretended not to know while knowing why he called. Of course, he knew she was deliberately doing so out of her own sense of guilt, but Hajin had a responsibility for neglecting her duty to inform him of important disclosure matters before contract conclusion.
“What do you mean ‘what’s up.'”
Haeyoung, who let out a short scoff, calmly pointed that out.
“Noona, there’s something you didn’t tell me.”
– I’m really sorry.
The apology that returned was quick and sincere. A sullen voice flowed out as if the bright voice from just before was acting.
Though he wondered how she could not tell him in advance that Cha Seonwoo was appearing, Haeyoung had received too much from her to feel betrayed. Therefore, he lost the will to be more angry and grumbled.
“It would have been good if you’d told me in advance. I was really shocked seeing hyung today.”
– You didn’t cry as soon as you saw Cha Seonwoo, did you?
Haeyoung, who had flinched at Hajin’s question, slightly frowned.
“What… I didn’t cry. There’s nothing more to cry about now.”
– That’s true. You’re the first person I’ve seen get dehydration symptoms from crying.
“……”
She never accepts the excuse that he was tired from studying. Though it was true he had a hard time after breaking up, Haeyoung had to endure exam period during all that and was also working several tutoring part-time jobs concurrently. That had strained his body.
He’d endured by barely sleeping 3 hours a day and eventually collapsed, and when he opened his eyes, it was the emergency room. And sitting beside him was Hajin with reddened eyes and a dumbfounded face.
Haeyoung had an intuition that she would bring up this weakness that wasn’t a weakness for a very long time from now on. Though it felt unjust, instead of claiming his innocence, Haeyoung tucked it away well in his pocket along with his cold hands.
– I didn’t tell Cha Seonwoo. But somehow it ended up like this… I’m really sorry for not being able to tell you in advance.
“…It wasn’t you who told him, noona?”
Haeyoung, who had paused for a moment, asked back slowly. He’d briefly thought that perhaps Hajin had requested Seonwoo to appear just like she did to him. If that wasn’t the case, there was no reason for him to appear, was there? Haeyoung knew best how wealthy he was. So it wouldn’t be because he needed money.
“Then…”
What reason would hyung have to appear? Haeyoung deliberately ignored the surging questions while placing his hand on the pit of his stomach that was becoming stuffy in an instant.
It was a situation that had already occurred. He didn’t want to have the arrogant thought that he appeared because of him. Haeyoung tried to be calm and accepted Hajin’s words. Though it was distressing just that Seonwoo appeared, there was another bigger problem.
“But noona, I’m in the same room as Cha Seonwoo.”
– What?
Hajin raised her voice as if surprised. Why? No, how did that happen? The end of her voice that was rambling in confusion was trembling. She seemed not to have anticipated even this situation.
So Haeyoung had no choice but to step forward and comfort Hajin instead.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful. I will be careful, but honestly I don’t know what to do.”
The words he’d brought up to reassure her not to worry ultimately scattered without confidence.
– Heeo….
Following Hajin who let out a sigh as if not knowing what to say, Haeyoung also exhaled a low breath. The deeply rising white breath filled his vision and disappeared.
Winter’s sun set particularly quickly. Haeyoung, who had been blankly watching the breath crossing through the dense darkness, raised the hand he’d had in his pocket to cover his cheek.
His face was frozen solid enough to be closer to an ice block than skin. While melting his cheeks that must have turned red even without looking with his body heat, Haeyoung turned around. He’d briefly thought about going into the room to bring out an outer garment.
However, Haeyoung couldn’t do that.
“…Noona, I’ll hang up for now.”
– Okay, don’t worry too much. I’ll be doing the editing anyway, so just don’t get caught by others.
When he separated from the railing and turned around, he who faced the silhouette leaning against the doorway finally became ice and stiffened hard.
“Haeyoung-ssi.”
Seonwoo, who was standing with his back to the light flowing from inside the room, called him. However, there was no answer from the other person.
Looking at Haeyoung who was frozen with a face that didn’t know what to do while looking at him, Seonwoo finally let out a low sigh. Then he came out to the darkness-covered terrace and approached Haeyoung as if it was natural.
“Haeyoung-ah.”
“……”
“What are you doing coming out without even wearing a coat in the middle of winter? You’re trying to catch a cold.”
Cha Seonwoo took off the outer garment he was wearing and wrapped it around Haeyoung. While he meticulously wrapped it from his shoulders to his arms, Haeyoung couldn’t move at all. It seemed he’d even forgotten the cold.
“See, your body is cold.”
Sadly… Only when his gentle whispering voice settled on the nape of his neck could Haeyoung belatedly come to his senses.
However, by the time he could grasp the situation, Seonwoo had already approached right in front of him. Cha Seonwoo, who wasn’t using unfamiliar polite speech like earlier but offering kind words like before.
Haeyoung’s back, who had unconsciously stepped backward, touched the railing. Not even the slightest space to breathe remained. His escape route was blocked in an instant. It only seemed to remind him once again that as long as he lived in the same space as him, he couldn’t escape from him.
It was already too late to bring up leisurely greetings like ‘Hi, long time no see.’ He couldn’t bring up questions like ‘Have you been well?’
Cha Seonwoo watched the distance one step away with an unreadable face, as if a clear line had been drawn at his feet. Looking at such Seonwoo, Haeyoung chose his words on what to say, then deliberately spoke nonchalantly.
“…Hyung was surprised too, right? You didn’t know I’d be here.”
“What are you talking about, Haeyoung-ah. I came because you’re here.”
Thump, it seemed like the sound of his heart that had fallen to his feet in an instant was ringing in his ears.
He answered with a light tone to the fabricated light tone as well. However, the weight of the answer wasn’t light, so Yoon Haeyoung ended up shaken to the point where the emotions he’d barely composed became meaningless.
In truth, perhaps, there might have been a desire to ask why he appeared here. On the other hand, he couldn’t deny that he’d also had the arrogant thought that he might have come because of him. Really… shamelessly.
Haeyoung’s pupils that were wandering unable to find direction didn’t notice the gaze that was keenly observing such him.
“Otherwise, why would I appear on this kind of shitty program?”
Haeyoung raised his head with a start at Seonwoo’s continued words. His eyes that widened as if surprised were together. Though his tone was still gentle, the rough words that popped out weren’t at all what he used to use.
Haeyoung, who met the pupils looking down at him, could only then realize that his mood was in a very sunken state. Seonwoo, who had never once gotten angry at him even while dating for a long period, was wearing a cold face for the first time.
“Was it last week, I heard you were going on this show. That’s why I came out.”
Cha Seonwoo raised his hand as if it was natural. The fingers that had been approaching his face soon changed direction and gripped the nape of his neck. Without even a gap to flinch at the touch that dug in like a caress, he smiled affectionately.
“You’re going to date someone else? Wake up from that dream, Haeyoung-ah. How could I watch that sight?”
The smile that quickly took its place still contained deep affection.
