“You’d definitely be good at martial arts too.”
“What?”
Seo Juhan awkwardly brushed it off, flustered by the sincerity that had slipped out without him realizing.
“No… Never mind.”
Having roughly wiped away the moisture, Seo Juhan straightened his bent waist and picked up the sterilizing cotton swab again. He carefully brought the tip stained with red disinfectant to the wound. Every spot the cotton swab passed left an orange trace.
“Doesn’t it sting?”
“No.”
It was a firm answer.
The unique sharp smell of disinfectant had a nauseating yet addictive quality.
“Are you studying for the college entrance exam these days?”
“…No.”
“Why not? You still have no intention of going to university?”
“…”
“Stop thinking about other things and just study for now.”
“…”
“During self-study periods and times like that, at least listen to educational broadcast lectures on your phone.”
Though he probably doesn’t have time to study because of work.
Seo Juhan assumed as much and continued speaking as if advising.
“Internal grades, whatever. What’s a week? For you, studying just the day before would be enough.”
Go Un remained silently unresponsive as always.
“Why aren’t you answering?”
Seo Juhan lightly hit the kid’s good knee. The bastard who kept his mouth shut when he was treating him so carefully was heartless.
“Answer.”
When he hit him one more time, this time there was a smacking sound.
Though he could guarantee his own hand would hurt more from that. The thigh was solid as if made of rock.
“Answer.”
Seo Juhan urged him to respond while thrusting the cotton swab like a weapon. There was some playfulness in those eyes.
Go Un stared down at the curved brown pupils. Then he slowly parted his lips.
“…Yes.”
Though it was a reluctant answer, Seo Juhan grinned satisfactorily. He patted the cotton swab on the wound a few more times, then straightened his bent waist.
“Done.”
Seo Juhan put the used sterilizing cotton swab back into the torn foil packet. Excited at the thought of resting a bit, he turned his head like a meerkat looking for a trash can.
“Go on now.”
As they say, the darkest place is under the lamp—it was right at his feet. Seo Juhan tossed the trash into the small cylindrical trash can. It was a goal.
Go Un was still standing there blankly until then.
“…Aren’t you going to apply ointment?”
It was a legitimate question. Truly befitting a clever kid.
“Ah, right.”
Seo Juhan spoke as if he’d forgotten for a moment. His brain specialized for exams had no immunity to everyday problems. He also hadn’t really gotten injured much.
Not knowing what ointment to apply, Seo Juhan rummaged around for a while again.
Then he picked out an antibiotic ointment with a familiar brand name that seemed manageable. At least he’d seen it somewhere, so he squeezed the ointment onto a new cotton swab and patted it on the wound. The knee became shiny with the milky white viscous substance.
“Does it hurt?”
“…No.”
Go Un answered casually while looking down at Juhan’s brown crown.
Bright sunlight poured in from the window behind Seo Juhan’s back. The sunlight touched his fluttering stray hairs and broke into small pieces. His hair, close to dark brown, looked lighter than usual.
The black eyes that seemed calm rippled like an aura.
This should be enough, right?
Seo Juhan finished up and raised his upper body. He was about to end it there, but while he was at it, he took out a wide bandage from the paper box. Then he spread it open using the tape inside the bandage as a handle.
“Huh?”
Both hands holding the bandage stopped in midair.
“What’s wrong here too?”
Seo Juhan asked while raising one eyebrow.
“…That’s not from just now.”
His voice was unusually stubborn.
“…Is that from that traffic accident you mentioned before?”
“Not from then…”
Go Un trailed off while rolling his eyes.
“I got hurt riding a motorcycle before.”
He said quietly while shrugging his shoulders. His legs that had been spread wide were also drawn together.
“Ah…”
He must be really bothered by it.
Well, it was an age when he’d be very interested, to the point where appearance becomes the standard for evaluating people. But somehow it didn’t suit Go Un to act like that. It seemed the image of a struggling young head of household was deeply ingrained.
He’s just big in size, but he’s definitely still a kid.
“Why are you so embarrassed about it?”
Seo Juhan smiled languidly and bent his upper body.
The holes in the flesh-colored bandage stretched sideways. Even though he’d chosen the widest bandage, it wasn’t enough to cover the entire wound.
“What’s so important about a little scar like that?”
Still, he put his heart into covering as much of the wound as possible.
“You can’t even see it when you’re wearing clothes.”
Hot breath touched Seo Juhan’s crown at that. Heat was transmitted as if he’d rolled around the Sahara Desert with his bare body.
He covered the knee with his palm so it would stick well. The air was hot, but only the knee was cold.
“…If you saw it directly, you wouldn’t be able to say that.”
Go Un looked down at the white back of the hand smoothing his knee area. Sweat ran down his nape in a single stream.
“It probably looks more serious in your eyes.”
Seo Juhan deliberately used a calm voice.
“It’s objectively bad.”
“Then show me. Let’s see how bad it is.”
Seo Juhan removed his hand from the knee. Then he gestured with his head as if to say show it and talk about it.
Go Un stared clearly at Seo Juhan like that, then raised his knee and slowly pulled down his sock.
The long sports sock came down to above the ankle. As the kid said, there were many small scars on the shin.
There were long scratches that stood out, as well as bumpy scars and of course darkish pigmentation remaining here and there.
But recalling the kid charging forward like a rhinoceros while driving the soccer ball, it wasn’t incomprehensible. It was also hard to see because it was covered by leg hair.
“Hey, you’re a real man. A real man. That’s an unexpected charm, man. You must have been quite wild when you were younger?”
“…”
“You’re not in pain or uncomfortable anywhere now, right?”
“…Yes.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
Seo Juhan nodded as if relieved.
“Okay, that’s it. Go.”
He was about to throw away the leftover scraps from attaching the bandage.
“Why?”
Feeling a warm gaze on the back of his neck, Seo Juhan asked.
“…What about you? Aren’t you going?”
Go Un, who’d stood up from his seat, tilted his head.
“I have a headache, so I’m going to take some medicine before I go.”
With the eye level now much higher, Seo Juhan roughly shook his hands over the trash can. While doing so, he waved his arms as if to say hurry and go.
“It’s probably time to eat. Go ahead.”
At that moment, a white piece of paper fluttered down to the floor. It was trash that hadn’t settled at the landing point.
“Close the door when you leave.”
Seo Juhan added while bending his upper body. He reached out his arm to pick up the scrap.
Go Un stood rooted to the spot and stared at Seo Juhan with a lingering gaze. The collarbone protruding in a straight line was visible inside the drooping neck of his shirt.
But that was only for a moment. The delicate skin was quickly hidden inside his clothes as if it had never appeared in the world.
“…Goodbye.”
“Yeah. Go.”
Seo Juhan didn’t even look at Go Un as if his business was all done.
Go Un reluctantly took hesitant steps.
Clatter.
The door closed and the sound of footsteps gradually faded away.
Seo Juhan waited a moment until he couldn’t hear the sound at all. And as soon as he realized he was completely alone, he walked briskly and lifted the white curtain.
The infirmary bed was like a hospital bed. It was crude enough to fall off if he tossed and turned while sleeping. It seemed like his back would get bad if he used it every day, but at first sight it had a devilish charm that pulled him in like drugs.
Seo Juhan carefully took off his indoor shoes and laid his body down on the bed. The mattress creaked. Still, it wasn’t completely without cushioning.
When he closed his eyes and covered them with his forearm, complete darkness arrived.
He felt fucking alive.
* * *
The calm lake rippled shallowly. Consciousness swayed above and below the surface.
The air touching his stomach was cool. In his sleep, he brushed his stomach with his fingertips. It was a faint contact, barely touching the fine hairs. He became languid at the ticklish yet cool sensation.
His whole body felt like it was pickled in soft marshmallows. It was like floating on cotton clouds. He wanted to stay buried like that.
At that moment, a vague sense of duty awakened his consciousness while fumbling about.
If his sense of reality wasn’t wrong, today was the sports festival, and he was a teacher lying on the infirmary bed.
What time is it…? Seo Juhan rubbed his forehead against the rough pillow.
From the feeling, it seemed like about 15 minutes had passed since he lay down. He thought it was time to eat lunch, but originally it was a 10-minute cut. If he reduced it to 5 minutes, he could increase his sleep time more.
With his eyes still closed, he lowered the hand he’d placed on his stomach and put it in his pants pocket. He rummaged around, but there was nothing. Thinking it might have fallen out of his pocket while sleeping, he groped the bed in that area.
The texture touching his palm was rougher than expected. While realizing it was a shitty mattress, he searched for the phone’s location using only the sense of his hand.
A piece of fabric touched his fingertips. It was presumed to be a thin blanket covering up to his thighs. He put his hand through the gap and gently searched. What touched his hand was only cheap, fluffy bedding. He couldn’t find the electronic device he’d been looking forward to, and it was just empty.
Ah, where is it… It would be much faster to just get up from the bed and lift the blanket once. But if he did that, this fluffy and comfortable feeling would completely disappear.
Since it was the first sweetness he’d enjoyed at a workplace where every day was like a thorny path, he couldn’t let it go so easily.
However, no matter how much he searched around his waist and sides, he couldn’t catch anything. In frustration, his hands became increasingly busy. His hand, which passed his chest and shoulder side, reached the head of the bed and groped even under the pillow, but it was useless.
Eventually, he even mobilized his left hand on the opposite side for the search operation.
He’d definitely put his phone in his right pocket, but he might have tossed and turned in his sleep and it went somewhere strange.
That’s when it happened. Something hard touched his fingertips.
