The homeroom teacher said we’d sit in today’s changed seats until summer vacation. This time too, I missed the timing to respond and just stared blankly. Whether he hadn’t intended to hear an answer from the start, Kkotmoa continued organizing his things. His white, neat hands that seemed like they’d only be delicate had quite a few small red wounds. That drew my attention even more.
“This happens when you handle flowers.”
“……”
Without me even asking, he figured out where my gaze was and chattered away quietly in a gentle tone. Well, seeing how many people were around him, I thought maybe he originally had this kind of sociable and friendly personality.
“They say you don’t get them once you get used to it, but I only helped out a little and it hasn’t been long since I started seriously learning and handling flowers. So they’re always like this. Is it unsightly?”
It was a bit fascinating how he spoke as if I naturally knew he was a flower shop owner’s son. Why did he think I’d naturally know? If Kang Junwoo hadn’t made a fuss about confessing to Yeo Seowon and ordered flowers, I still wouldn’t know who this kid was. I would have nodded my head without delay when asked if I wanted to switch seats with Kang Junwoo. No, before that, I might have threatened to switch seats with Kang Junwoo.
But strangely, I didn’t dislike my new seatmate. It would be hard to observe him openly now, but the faint flower scent drifting from the seat next to me seemed to make my heart float for no reason. The soft emotion I was feeling for the first time was awkward and unfamiliar. It was like this even though the other person wasn’t even a girl. I felt strange.
“Not really.”
“Hm? What’s not?”
He asked while freshly meeting my eyes with clear pupils, as if he’d already forgotten what he’d been talking about. His gaze was completely harmless with no malice at all, which was somehow burdensome, so I avoided his eyes and replied carelessly.
“Your hands.”
“Really? Kids said they didn’t like them because my hands got wounded.”
I stared at him wondering what he meant. This time too, he chattered away with an answer I hadn’t asked for.
“Kids used to say my hands were pretty. I think they said they were hands that would suit playing instruments like piano? Anyway, but now they say they don’t like them because I get wounds every day.”
Just from the content, I glanced at him thinking he might be hurt, but he was still smiling brightly. He seemed to not really care much about what the kids said.
I only realized after a few days of becoming seatmates. Even though he was always surrounded by kids, Kkotmoa was a guy with his own solid world. Rather than enjoying solitude in a crowd, the expression that he had a firm center so he wasn’t swayed by anyone was more appropriate. Even though we were both nineteen, I felt like I understood a little bit why he seemed different from our peers.
“Oh my? Kkotmoa drew my seat?”
Before I knew it, Kang Junwoo approached and put his arm around Kkotmoa’s shoulder. The kids found both me and Kang Junwoo intimidating the same way, but it was a bit different. Kang Junwoo was cheeky and easygoing, getting along moderately well with anyone. But why couldn’t I take my eyes off Kang Junwoo’s arm draped over Kkotmoa’s shoulder? Even though there was no particular need to care, an emotion closer to displeasure, if I had to define it, crept up.
“Yeah.”
“My seat is right in front of the very back by the back door—do you want to switch seats with me? If you want to sit in the very back seat, I’ll let you switch to that too.”
“Like the homeroom teacher would believe us if we both just sat there as is.”
My lips moved before going through my brain. Since I’d never seen Kkotmoa refuse anything before, I unconsciously made the first move thinking he wouldn’t refuse this time either.
So why?
I’d be more comfortable being seatmates with Kang Junwoo. Honestly, even before switching seatmates, I’d thought I wanted to keep sitting with Kang Junwoo like this until graduation. But now, Kang Junwoo trying to come to the seat next to me didn’t look good to me.
So why.
“Baby, have your feelings already cooled? Didn’t you want to be seatmates with me forever?”
Whenever he pulled jokes like this, I had to barely hold back from throwing a punch at Kang Junwoo’s face. Even now, I tried hard to control my fist from automatically rising.
“I’ll kill you.”
“Haa, I’m lonely. So it was unrequited love on my part alone…”
Kang Junwoo, who’d been thoroughly broken two years ago during winter break after fighting over something trivial, showed the clever sense to lower his tail on his own in situations where a punch would really fly, but that didn’t mean his personality went anywhere normally.
I could see Kkotmoa giggling with his shoulder yielded to Kang Junwoo, finding something so funny. This kid didn’t seem like someone without sense, but he seemed to be the type who didn’t read others at all. Normally in situations like this, other kids would hold back even if they wanted to laugh. Even now there were kids glancing or watching this way, but because of my scrunched-up face, there were no kids laughing openly like Kkotmoa.
“Kkotmoa. You know me and this guy are best friends, right? Pick one seat you want to sit in. I’ll switch it for you. And give up this seat.”
Kkotmoa, who seemed like he wouldn’t refuse and would nod his head, unexpectedly turned his head to stare at me. I felt strange at his expression that seemed to be asking if it was okay to switch seats. I wondered if he was looking at me like this because I’d answered no when asked earlier if I’d switch seats with Kang Junwoo. I strangely liked Kkotmoa’s attitude.
“Hey, why are you reading this guy’s mood? Which seat do you want to sit in?”
“Here.”
Before I could say anything to Kang Junwoo, Kkotmoa answered cleanly. His voice had not the slightest hesitation. Somehow I could feel a strength and decisiveness that didn’t match his gentle and pretty face. Just as I was slightly surprised, Kang Junwoo also had a bewildered expression. It seemed he’d had no thought at all that Kkotmoa, who didn’t refuse anyone, would refuse something as trivial as switching seats.
“The homeroom teacher said if we secretly switch seats it’s three hours of counseling. Oh, and she said she’d deduct points from performance evaluation too. I can give up on performance evaluation, but I can’t do three hours of counseling with the homeroom teacher.”
With a pale face that looked like it had never seen sunlight, he gave a reason quite confidently. At first listen it seemed logical, but depending on how you heard it, it also seemed like sophistry. Just as Kang Junwoo was about to retort, I interrupted. I didn’t particularly dislike my newly changed seatmate.
“That’s what he says. If you switch on your own, I’ll have to rat you out to the homeroom teacher.”
“Hey, you despicable bastard. Like she won’t know you switched seats too? I’m the one who’s gonna snitch to the homeroom teacher about you!”
“But I originally drew this seat?”
To the guy jumping around in annoyance, I shamelessly showed him the note I’d switched with the kid who originally drew this seat. Of course Kang Junwoo wouldn’t believe it. He ground his teeth saying he’d find the kid who switched with me no matter what. So I organized the situation so such trouble wouldn’t be necessary.
“Is there anyone who switched seats with me?”
It was a quiet voice, but everyone’s attention focused. Contrary to Kang Junwoo’s wish, no one came forward. I shrugged my shoulders, and Kang Junwoo poured out double curses and got annoyed at the guy in front for no reason.
And my seatmate… sat next to me giggling to himself and laughing so very prettily.
* * *
It was the tenth day of being seatmates with Kkotmoa. Unlike me, who’d already learned all the class content through private education and stared vacantly out the window, Kkotmoa was focused on taking notes. Of course, most of the time he was dozing, but during times he wasn’t, he diligently took notes he wouldn’t even open to look at. Rather than seeming to understand and comprehend what the teacher was saying as he wrote, it seemed he was just focused on the act of note-taking itself.
His handwriting was as gentle and neat as his face. It was the complete opposite of my writing that looked cold with its stiff angles. Overall, round and cute lines were drawn ticklishly on the notebook.
Come to think of it, I wondered what this kid did at home to doze like this during class. After becoming aware of Kkotmoa, the sight I’d probably seen most during class was him dozing. The guy who spent his 10-minute breaks fully with even his eyes sparkling would routinely let the 50-minute class periods pass emptily. Meaning times like now when he was taking notes were rare.
“It’s nice being seatmates with you.”
The math teacher’s boring voice overlapped with Kkotmoa’s ticklish whispering voice.
“…Why.”
“Break time got quiet. Since I’m seatmates with you, kids don’t come around as much. There are also way fewer kids asking to borrow things.”
“You could just not lend them.”
Simultaneously with my answer, the bell ending class rang, and the math teacher who’d assigned homework left the classroom. The classroom was quickly engulfed in noisy clamor. Certainly the number of kids approaching Kkotmoa during break time had decreased a lot. More precisely, it was after I’d said once that the kids coming to Kkotmoa and chattering were bothersome and noisy. Kkotmoa occasionally went to other kids’ desks to spend break time, but mostly he sat in his seat and had trivial conversations with me. Like now.
“I don’t mind lending though? They’re friends.”
For me, who only had Kang Junwoo as a friend at our school, it was incomprehensible. I even doubted whether Kkotmoa actually memorized all the names of those many kids who came looking for him. Then suddenly I wondered if he knew my name. It was really pure curiosity without any particular intention.
“You…”
“Yeah?”
“…Do you even know my name?”
