And then he fell back asleep right away. To sleep so soundly in the arms of someone like me, so carefree, Kwon Yunsu. Idiot. My foolish country bumpkin.
Can I hold back?
Running his fingertips over the exposed white nape, Lee Euishin thought once again.
…Why should I hold back?
He was increasingly losing sight of the reason for patience.
***
“Catch.”
As he opened the door and came in, Lee Euishin tossed something. When he quickly opened the heart-fluttering white bag, it was filled with bread from the most expensive bakery in the university district. That magnificent bastard. Lee Euishin came and sat next to him.
“What are you doing?”
“Grade management.”
At the serious answer, an openly mocking sound came back. The guy flicked his forehead.
“Someone said you sound smart when you say it like that.”
“…Me?”
“Just say you’re studying for exams. That suits you better.”
He wanted to retort ‘Then does grade management suit your face?’, but first, even if the answer “Yeah” came back, he didn’t think he could refute it differently, and second, as a rule, you should treat people who give you food preciously.
“Ahn Shinwook, let’s eat this. Come here. Is hyung sleeping?”
Ahn Shinwook, who had been seriously looking at his book, lifted his glasses-wearing face and shook his head sideways, then down. What’s he saying? On the sofa laid out long facing the TV, only the club manager hyung’s legs stuck out, and there had been no movement from earlier.
The school in the middle of midterms had this scenery everywhere you went. Gauntly looking at books or exhausted from that and sleeping like corpses. Kwon Yunsu was experiencing how quite plausible what Lee Eunsub had once said was. When exam period came, the school became a battleground for cutthroat fights for seats everywhere, and the only places where you could spread out books with generous space were either home or the club room.
Kwon Yunsu, who couldn’t concentrate at all when alone, naturally set up camp in the club room. His partner Lee Euishin also grumbled but came here promptly when exams were over. The sociable Song Taesu and Shin Jaewoo were hard to see these days, saying they were studying with their classmates, and Eunsub hyung was stuck in the best seat at the central library like an early bird. The always leisurely club manager hyung was faithfully fulfilling the duties of a manager like that, and lastly Ahn Shinwook—this guy who was clearly walking the path of an outsider was almost next-manager material.
“Did your exam go well?”
After tossing bread to Ahn Shinwook and gently placing one on the sleeping club manager hyung’s stomach, Lee Euishin was just opening his book. In the afternoon, they had an exam for a liberal arts class they took together. Two so far, one today, two tomorrow, one the day after. A gasp-inducing schedule and insane amount combo. In the midst of already being overwhelmed, he’d heard even more terrible things when he briefly stopped by the department office in the morning.
‘Kids, that’s just warm-up.’
He didn’t even want to think about how much more brutal it would get once major courses started.
Kwon Yunsu became newly envious of Teacher Lee Euishin. When the amount increased, he’d get that sullen and tired face like that, but Lee Euishin wasn’t naturally the type to struggle with studying. Well, it would be the same with anything, wouldn’t it? In studying, exercise, even housework, Kwon Yunsu had never seen Lee Euishin being clumsy at something or having difficulty.
He seemed to have an insane amount of money at home, feared nothing in the world, had clear convictions, and among those, the most magnificent thing was of course his face. Face. Height. Body. What Lee Euishin does best.
“…But why is our club membership count the same?”
“What?”
A side profile asking back simply with pen in hand. The coolly elongated eyes couldn’t be called kind-looking even as empty words, but there probably was no appearance as bewitching as that for captivating the opposite sex. Kwon Yunsu had often heard about the landlord from classmates he ran into lately too. You’re friends with him? I saw him reject a girl right to her face. Wow, really there wasn’t even this much room to get in. He spread as a rumor to even the arts college as the engineering male god. That’s right, that’s right. Our Euishin is accomplished. But,
“I thought the door would fall off our club room when you joined.”
Lee Euishin’s face contorted. And he glared sharply this way before quickly reaching out his hand.
“Do you want to see me suffocate to death among girls?”
A hand grabbing his cheek, earlobe, and nape all at once. Lee Euishin’s hand habits have gotten rough lately. Kwon Yunsu felt his earlobe getting hot and put Lee Euishin’s hand back in place.
“Hey, when we see you dismissing girls saying ‘I’m eating right now,’ ‘I don’t have time,’ ‘Who are you?’, we suffocate to death first. Either write on your forehead that your temper is completely shit.”
It’s nothing new, but Lee Euishin was definitely a twisted bastard. When you curse him for having a shitty temper, he always smiles wickedly like that, and he looked coolest when he was like that.
“Kwon Yunsu, you don’t know?”
“What?”
“I made an agreement with club manager hyung and amended it to a male students club.”
“What? Ahn Shinwook, is this for real? Isn’t this a dictatorship?”
Kwon Yunsu sought confirmation from Ahn Shinwook, who knew best what went on in the club room, and the moment Lee Euishin reached out his hand to Kwon Yunsu, Ahn Shinwook, whose eyes had been wide, nodded strongly. It was a dictatorship, and it was also real.
‘Hyung, make this a male students club.’
Not long ago, right in that spot, Lee Euishin had said exactly that and only that. Kim Younghwan, who had been focused on studying for exams, lifted his head, and to the wordless question of ‘Why?’, Lee Euishin immediately answered.
‘You want to continue your soccer fandom as peacefully as now, right hyung?’
In the brief silence, Kim Younghwan, who had been looking at Lee Euishin’s face, nodded.
‘Got it.’
That was the end of the conversation. All probability existed on Lee Euishin’s face.
Ahn Shinwook couldn’t deny it either. He himself hadn’t heard that he was lacking anywhere either, and Shin Jaewoo or Kwon Yunsu would surely be the same, but that guy was severe. When Lee Euishin said he’d join, the worry he’d been most concerned about disappeared, and Ahn Shinwook was relieved. But now a completely unexpected new worry…
“Huh… If club manager hyung made that resolution… I should follow too. But why aren’t any guys joining either? You should worry about guys too, Lee Euishin. You work well on them. Do you know how rampant the rumors were in high school?”
“…!”
Ahn Shinwook’s face, which had barely gotten some color, turned pale again. And you weren’t at the center of those rumors? Kwon Yunsu was definitely either frighteningly stupid or infuriatingly stupid. Look, Lee Euishin’s smile is deepening again. Ahn Shinwook felt dizzy.
“You really say things without any fear, Kwon Yunsu.”
“Well, who am I to worry about? I should worry about the kids who’ll waste their youth infatuated with Lee Euishin’s face.”
“Right, who are you to worry about.”
Lee Euishin laughed pleasantly and rolled his pen,
‘That’s what I’m saying, who are you to worry about, you idiot…’
Ahn Shinwook had the same thought.
He hoped nothing would happen to his precious club, but it was increasingly ominous. Lee Euishin didn’t seem like an ordinary guy, and Kwon Yunsu was extraordinarily more stupid than ordinary.
“Want some?”
“I’m the one who bought it though.”
When he turned his gaze again, Lee Euishin was holding Kwon Yunsu’s wrist and taking a bite of bread. Looking like he has a cleanliness obsession, why is he eating what Kwon Yunsu was eating instead of opening a new one… His face seemed about to flush so he quickly averted his eyes.
Worrying about the club’s future, Ahn Shinwook tore open the bread bag. What was certain was that if Kwon Yunsu hadn’t been there, this expensive bread wouldn’t have entered his mouth either.
“Ah… it’s over.”
After finishing the last exam, he only had the energy left to say just that one phrase. After barely turning in his exam paper with 10 minutes left before the end time and leaving the lecture hall, Kwon Yunsu lay down full length on the hallway bench. After sleeping hugging a physics book for two days straight, scribbling and sleeping, using it as a pillow and sleeping, it felt exactly like he’d returned to senior year of high school.
Why am I working this hard? It’s a stupid thought, but it was sincere. He’d heard all week not to push too hard since it wasn’t even a major, so why did he dig in like a crazy person? This is all because of Mom. After becoming a branch manager for a famous clothing brand, Mom got busy and contact became increasingly rare.
‘Mom originally had a lot of ambition for work, so it was amazing she was a full-time housewife for over 15 years after marrying Dad. It’s not that she abandoned you, I told her to go out because the way things were going, she’d get depression.’
‘But noona had a hard time too. During senior year.’
‘Mom had it harder. Your dad…. Forget it, kid. Let’s not talk about it.’
To keep the wound from deepening, noona grabbed Kwon Yunsu whenever she had time and talked about this and that, but it was insufficient. Even after hearing about Dad having an old woman and letting go of resentment toward Mom, the sense of being abandoned didn’t fall away like an old stuffed doll.
You don’t need to do well from the start. This much is enough, right? I need to be a bit more lenient with myself, yeah. When his sleepy head was gradually falling under self-hypnosis, Mom suddenly called. It was a few days ago.
[You’re studying well, son?]
‘I don’t know.’
