# Chapter 6
After confirming that my unsteady body was now standing upright, Kadilen headed straight for Jiman’s room without giving me a chance to stop him. I had boldly told him to do as he pleased, but was he really going directly there before I even had a chance to coordinate with Jiman?
Greatly flustered, I hurriedly followed him, hoping that Jiman would be skilled at lying. But then I remembered how he had previously made ridiculous excuses about stealing food to hide my symptoms, and I felt defeated. Kadilen, paying no attention to how closely I was following him, opened Jiman’s door with an expressionless face.
“Huh? What brings you here?”
Jiman was sitting in his room reading a book. I felt a bit sorry for suddenly disrupting his peaceful day. But then I noticed him staring intently at me as I frantically winked and gestured behind Kadilen to explain the situation. I felt relieved that he wasn’t completely oblivious…
“Why is your complexion like this? Did you collapse again… oops.”
It seems he was observing my face rather than noticing my silent explanations. Seeing him casually blurt out the worst possible thing in this situation, I quickly made a throat-slitting gesture with my hand, which finally made Jiman close his mouth.
“So you did know.”
Kadilen’s eyes gleamed.
As he quietly entered the room and slowly paced around deep in thought, Jiman and I naturally held our breath. How would Kadilen react upon learning about Ludin’s illness? Would he be concerned? But someone who probes so sharply just to find out about someone being ill might have a completely different reaction than what I expected. After all, when he said he would ask Jiman, it sounded more like he wanted to uncover some suspicious secret rather than expressing concern for my health.
Kadilen’s pacing around the small space suddenly stopped.
“Is it a curse?”
“What are you saying! Absolutely not!!”
It was a question I couldn’t understand, but Jiman immediately denied it vehemently. A curse? I had read “The Kingdom of Zendal” multiple times, but there was no mention of Ludin being cursed. When Kadilen narrowed his eyes and stared at the agitated Jiman, he answered even more loudly a second time.
“That’s absurd! You’re mistaken.”
But this time Kadilen kept silent and turned his head toward me, observing my ambiguous expression. I awkwardly tried to signal to Jiman with my eyes, but he only glared at Kadilen while breathing heavily, unable to offer any further explanation.
“Did Zendal send you?”
Kadilen asked again. Did Zendal send me? Strictly speaking, that’s true. After Ludin went mad, King Zendal tried several times to find out why Ludin had lost his wits, but failed, and eventually sent him here against the opposition and support of his ministers. I was about to nod and answer without thinking when Jiman firmly grabbed my arm to stop me. Then, composing himself, he continued carefully.
“You’re greatly mistaken. His Majesty sent Ludin here for the training of the border soldiers. I believe you received the direct order yourself. Continuing to ask such false questions as if they were true will harm His Majesty’s reputation.”
It was a polite but clear warning. At the mention of the king, Kadilen’s sharp gaze gradually softened. But still seeming dubious, he stood silently before suddenly placing his hand slowly on my stomach.
“I’ll find out soon enough.”
Jiman opened his mouth as if to argue further, but Kadilen left the room with a tired face. Though bewildered by what had happened so suddenly, I was frustrated at not understanding the conversation that had just taken place. This wasn’t the discussion I had expected. Kadilen, whom I thought would ask about my illness, had mentioned an incomprehensible curse. I turned to Jiman, demanding an explanation.
“What are you talking about? A curse?”
“Hah, watch what you say. That’s not something to mention loudly.”
Jiman sighed and chided me. He carefully opened the door to make sure Kadilen was long gone, then sat down looking relieved, his face seeming ten years older.
“What happened?”
“I just couldn’t breathe. Kadilen saw and saved me.”
His face, which had been filled with questions, turned to worry upon hearing my story.
“The symptoms are becoming more frequent. Did Kadilen see the medicine?”
“No. I thought I was in trouble because there was no medicine, but he gave me a bead.”
“What?!”
Jiman jumped up from his seat and grabbed my shoulders. I winced as the faint remnants of my previous injury hurt, but he didn’t notice and shook me while shouting.
“Did you consume it?!”
“Of course I did. I was about to die.”
At my direct answer, Jiman’s face went from shock to resignation. Watching his dynamic facial expressions with curiosity, I gradually realized that what had just happened was much more serious than I had thought. The curse, and the bead. This time, I grabbed Jiman’s shoulders and turned his attention to me. His unfocused, shaking eyes looked at me, and I asked him clearly.
“Something’s wrong. I get it, so explain.”
Jiman’s explanation was more shocking than I had expected. I was the one who demanded a clear answer, but once I heard it, my mind couldn’t easily process it. Simply put, Kadilen now thought I was a time bomb preparing to self-destruct.
In the latter part of “The Kingdom of Zendal,” there’s a scene where the protagonist Luan achieves a great victory in war. Luan’s chosen strategy was to send a curse contained in a human body to enemy territory. A curse using a human body as a host rapidly grows by consuming the body’s nutrients, and the longer it stays, the more it grows by stealing the negative energy around the host. What a curse that feeds on malice spreads is even stronger doubt and misfortune. Therefore, the malice poured onto the host actually helps enhance the curse’s performance.
The host injected into enemy territory is usually chosen to be someone who cannot be easily discarded, even if they turn the place into ruins and face everyone’s condemnation. That way, they can physically destroy the place while simultaneously allowing the curse to thrive by feeding on people’s negative emotions. Furthermore, the human containing it also gradually dies, but only when they completely stop breathing does the bomb successfully explode, so to speak. And it’s all too easy to gain the upper hand against an enemy base that has completely collapsed psychologically.
This strategy chosen by Luan was actually an ancient one. Kadilen still remembered that age-old strategy. There was some logic to his thinking that King Zendal had planted a curse in me and intentionally sent me here. This was because when Kadilen abandoned staying in the kingdom after his victory and built the temple himself, Zendal feared his growing influence. In fact, Kadilen had no interest in power until then and only later started a rebellion for other reasons.
From Kadilen’s perspective, it would also be suspicious that Ludin, who had been so favored, had deteriorated so rapidly. Kadilen seems to have concluded that the reason Ludin was acting crazy was because of this. Yes, it was perfectly reasonable for him to think that way. The problem was that it wasn’t true.
“My head hurts.”
I hadn’t said a word while listening to Jiman’s story, but after hearing the full explanation, I only had one thing to say: My head hurts. Jiman seemed to share the sentiment as he hung his head with a dark expression.
“Perhaps it would be better for you to lay low for a while.”
He was right. If Ludin’s arbitrary actions appeared to be a plot to destroy the temple and grow the curse within his body, I needed to stop the crazy act. Of course, now I didn’t particularly need to pretend to be crazy, as those around me had already reached the stage of suspicion on their own.
I decided to be cautious and behave properly for a while. I never expected my plan to maintain Ludin’s image to stay at Kadilen’s temple would go so wrong.
“Then what about the bead? Wasn’t it a good thing?”
“It does have its benefits. The problem is that Kadilen gave it to you directly.”
Jiman frowned. He looked displeased with how the situation had become complicated.
“He can sense the emotions of the person who consumed the bead.”
“What?”
That was unexpected. Why is today so crazy? There was nothing good about Kadilen knowing my feelings. The bead I had gratefully accepted thinking it would save my life turned out to be a trap. Realizing why he had given me something precious despite his cold face made my heart grow cold.
“It will be more difficult to hide your condition from now on. Perhaps it would be best to confess everything and receive a higher level of treatment…”
Jiman cautiously suggested, watching my reaction. It wasn’t that I hadn’t considered his proposal. Given how things had turned out, I briefly wondered if it would be better to confess my illness and earn Kadilen’s sympathy instead.
But now there was a new problem. Would Kadilen, who saw me as a bomb sent by Zendal, believe me if he heard about my illness? And if I failed to earn his sympathy, wouldn’t I just become a sick person in the temple, an annoyance to everyone? There was also the issue with Luan. If any of the soldiers learned of my symptoms and it reached the royal ears, Luan would lose his power. Even if Kadilen believed me, I could be dragged to the royal court by Zendal.
“No. It’ll be fine.”
Fine, my ass. But I had to try. If there was no way out, I had no choice but to suffer a bit more. If I hid my emotions as much as possible and behaved quietly for a while, Kadilen’s suspicions might subside, and perhaps then I could find an opportunity to thwart his rebellion plans.
* * *
I realized my thinking was wrong the next day when Kadilen called me and said he would personally train me. Since that first day when I entered Ludin’s body and Kadilen held a knife to my throat, he had never taken charge of my training himself. I thought he had assigned my training to Wimu, considering my rapidly declining physical strength. When I wasn’t training with Wimu, I often participated in group training, which, although challenging for my body, wasn’t as demanding as Ludin’s personal training.
That’s why I was both afraid and puzzled that he had suddenly taken over my personal training. Especially after what happened yesterday.
When I entered the low building that was the training site, inside the spacious, empty structure stood Kadilen, erect, and Wimu, who wouldn’t look at me. As I moved forward nervously, my footsteps echoed loudly in the empty building.
“It’s been a while since the three of us trained together.”
I tried awkwardly to break the ice, but Kadilen just stared at me intently without saying anything. Wimu seemed to be trying not to pay attention to me since yesterday. I understood how he felt, but it still hurt a little. My heart was pounding like crazy the entire time I walked toward Kadilen, but I remembered Jiman’s words that he could sense my emotions.
I exhaled a short breath, trying to manage my tension. There was nothing good about Kadilen knowing how I felt when standing before him.
“Take your stance.”
Kadilen drew his sword before I even had a chance to prepare. I barely got into position, and then a sword came at me with great force.
“Too, fast, hey!”
I shouted as I frantically blocked his sword, but Kadilen continued his movements with an indifferent face. It wasn’t enough to kill me, but it was fast enough to cut flesh if I didn’t focus and block properly. After desperately dodging the continuously falling blade for a while, I quickly became short of breath. When I thought I couldn’t breathe in anymore, through my blurred vision, I saw Kadilen’s sword thrust toward a vital point, and my slowed body couldn’t dodge it completely.
Thick blood flowed from my left side. Seeing me finally collapse, Kadilen silently lowered his sword. It had only grazed me slightly, but if I hadn’t twisted my body, it would have aimed straight for my heart. Before I could even stop the bleeding, a cough burst out. Kadilen stared at me emotionlessly as I gasped and clutched my chest. Afraid to meet his eyes, I curled up looking only at the floor.
How much time had passed? Under the silence, only the sound of my gasping filled the building. As my breath gradually calmed, I saw Wimu with his fists clenched, deliberately looking elsewhere. It hurt my heart to see him standing there ignoring me, when normally he would have intervened long ago. As I bit my lip and rose to my feet, Kadilen took his stance again. Unlike me, whose body was soaked in sweat, his face was serene.
Annoyingly handsome. Even in this situation, my heart raced at the sight of him holding his sword. Though dizzy from blood loss, I also took my stance, following his lead. Wimu was rubbing his face and sighing.
The duel began again. Though Kadilen knew my movements were much slower now, his sword still came at me relentlessly. Cornered to the edge of the building, I took a defensive stance while staggering, my hands trembling. After another powerful strike from Kadilen’s sword, the sword barely held in my shaking hands flew far away. There was no hesitation in Kadilen’s actions as he swung his sword at me while I stood there, weaponless.
“Ugh.”
This time it was my right forearm. My clothes, soaked with sweat and blood, clung to my body unpleasantly. Although the wound was shallow from a sword with reduced force, my depleted body couldn’t withstand it and collapsed. Kneeling and catching my labored breath, the world spun around me. It felt like I could pass out at any moment, but I clenched my teeth and tried not to lose consciousness. Had breathing ever required so much effort? It was something I didn’t know before becoming Ludin. The blood that flowed from me soaked the floor. I’m going to need a proper shower today.
“It’s strange.”
Kadilen, looking down at me with a cold face, spoke. There was no emotion in his voice.
“…What’s so strange?”
“You’ve been on the battlefield since before the kingdom’s victory. You’re not someone who should fall to a sword like this.”
“I haven’t been exercising lately…”
I hadn’t intended it, but my body slowly tilted. I was now almost flat against the floor. I couldn’t tell whether the liquid flowing from my body was sweat or blood. Kadilen’s face doubled, then tripled.
“Even as you’re about to pass out, you’re still not honest.”
Kadilen lowered himself to meet my gaze. I’d always known it, but his eyes were truly beautiful. Dark black eyes contrasting with his silver hair. Those eyes were piercing through me. My exhausted body was vulnerable to hiding emotions. My hand reached out involuntarily toward his eyes.
Kadilen seemed momentarily surprised and tried to stop my hand, but he seemed to realize that my slow and trembling hand could never harm him. Unable to fully touch him, I carefully brushed around his eyes. I had no way to reach him. He was right in front of me, yet simultaneously so far away.
“It’s not easy to be honest.”
Though I hadn’t meant to say that, nonsense came out naturally when I opened my mouth. I tried to clear my foggy head by shaking it, but soon my eyelids became heavy as if weights were attached to them, and Kadilen’s perfect face disappeared from my sight. I thought I could faintly hear Wimu’s voice.
