# Chapter 22
A moment of silence fell between us.
Devan, with the hand he had extended toward me, rubbed his face tiredly before asking again.
“…What did you say? I think I misheard.”
“Save Kadilen. Please.”
Only then did Devan’s face slowly contort. I held my breath, watching the change in his emotions. Jiman, who was standing beside me, looked at me in bewilderment.
“Why?”
After a long silence, the word that came from his mouth was just one syllable. It was the question I feared the most. The moment had come when I had to answer that I had been deceiving him all this time.
In that brief moment, my mind naturally conjured up excuses. I wasn’t really deceiving you, I originally didn’t care about Kadilen but for our benefit…
But what benefit, exactly?
Asking him to save Kadilen implied many things. It was asking Devan to betray Zendal, and if that succeeded, both Zendal, Ludin’s father, and Luan, his younger brother, would fall from power. I was essentially pushing all of that into Devan’s hands. Even if Kadilen was placed on the throne, there was no benefit for Devan.
As this stark reality sank in, my guilt intensified.
“I deceived you.”
I needed to explain more, but after saying this much, I couldn’t continue. My throat burned. His face froze coldly. I could see that without me adding anything more, the situation was becoming completely clear in his mind. I couldn’t bring myself to face him and lowered my head.
“Then from the beginning, going to the temple…”
“That’s not it. There was some… change. By the time I met you, I was already preparing for rebellion at the temple…”
“So you extracted information from me.”
“…”
When I couldn’t answer, Devan let out a hollow laugh. The longer his silence stretched, the more anxious I became. Now that I had spoken, my courage diminished even further. The smile gradually disappeared from Devan’s face, and his low, subdued voice resonated inside the box.
“I like you, Ludin.”
Once again, I was at a loss for words as I looked at him. His expression as he confessed his feelings was filled not with affection but with misery. Though he had healed my wounds, the pain still hadn’t subsided. Rather, each calm word of his sentence seemed to dig deeper into my wounds, making it more painful.
“When I first saw you—”
“…”
“Despite having a face that showed no interest, you didn’t stop me when I embraced you.”
This was a story about Ludin and Devan that I knew nothing about. He spoke softly, lowering his eyes as if reminiscing about that time. It was a whisper that seemed directed at me, yet also like he was talking to himself.
“That’s why I understood even when you said you couldn’t remember me.”
Despite his completely broken expression, Devan’s voice flowed with delicate steadiness.
“Back then, you were a mess, and I took advantage of that.”
“…”
“And I was grateful that you forgot. When we met again, you seemed to actually see me, not just as some casual partner.”
He raised his eyes and looked directly at me. Under his persistent gaze, I felt tightly bound. I realized how gently Devan had looked at Ludin all this time. He was now looking at me with an expression I had never seen before. Just having our gazes meet made it difficult to breathe, as if my throat was being constricted.
“So, Ludin. If I grant your request, you should tell me what you can do for me in return.”
His voice was so tender it gave me goosebumps. Devan asked for compensation in a sweet voice, as if confessing love. Staring intensely at my frozen form, he slowly raised the corners of his mouth.
It wasn’t a difficult question. The words came out automatically.
“I’ll do anything.”
I didn’t know how much time I had left, but I didn’t care what I would have to do to repay him. Whatever I would have to do as compensation for hurting him didn’t matter. After all, I wouldn’t have much time to respond to his affection as Ludin anyway. At my hasty answer, his smile quickly turned into a sneer.
“…That much, huh.”
“I mean it. I’ll do whatever you want.”
For me, he was my only lifeline. Even if what he wanted was completely impossible, I wanted to spend my remaining time in this novel atoning for my sins against him. Devan simply stood there, smiling an unreadable smile several times.
“So easily… you’d do anything.”
I anxiously waited for him to continue. Now, I was no longer worried whether he would save Kadilen or not. My firm resolve was wavering chaotically in the face of his pained expression before me. I kept alternating between regretting calling him here and rationalizing that I had no choice.
At the same time, I felt a shameful sense of relief that all decision-making power now rested with him. Even if he rejected my request out of anger and let Kadilen die, I could say I had done everything possible to save him. I had tried to change the ending, even at the cost of hurting innocent people. I really did try. I wanted to help continue the life of Kadilen, whom I had only cherished secretly but now saw living before my eyes. I wanted to believe that this was enough compensation for the kindness I had received from him.
Our time together had been very brief, but Devan was somewhat different to me. All the main characters in this place were people whose movements I had observed in the novel. Thinking that their actions were directed at Ludin rather than me made everything feel less real.
But Devan was different. Until we met, I knew nothing about him. The times we spent constantly together in the palace flashed through my mind. Even if his actions were based on memories of the real Ludin, to me they were the actions of someone approaching to form a relationship. He was the most mysterious and unfamiliar character, which is why I thought of him somewhat differently.
Paradoxically, although I knew it was contradictory, Devan always felt like the most real character in this place.
“When we met again, you seemed to actually see me, not just as some casual partner.”
That was why his words hit me so painfully. I should have met him in the novel.
“Alright. If that’s what you want, I’ll save Kadilen.”
Even as I heard the ending I had so desperately wanted, my heart sank heavily. Devan, looking as though he had finished organizing his thoughts, stepped back from me with a hardened face. With a wave of his hand, the warm light that had enveloped us disappeared instantly. In the dark box, I could only make out his dim outline.
Even when I deliberately invited misunderstanding, even when my body was covered in wounds because of it.
Even when I completely lost trust and had my breath held in Kadilen’s cold hands, my heart had never collapsed like this.
I had used the clarity I learned from Kadilen to save his life. Some things were easier because it was inside a novel, some things I obsessed over more because it was inside a novel. Throughout that process, I never forgot to keep my eye on the end goal.
But incomprehensibly, the wounds I inflicted on others hurt me more than the sword falling on me. It felt like I had been running blindly in one direction, unknowingly crashing hard into someone.
“Don’t forget your promise, Ludin. I won’t let you forget it anyway.”
Leaving those inappropriately tender words, he vanished in an instant. When Devan’s faintly visible body disappeared, the tension left me and I collapsed to the ground. Jiman just stood there with a complicated expression, continuing to stare at the place where Devan had vanished.
It was an unusually long night.
Many thoughts came to mind, but none lasted long. It felt as if something I had been naturally pursuing had suddenly disappeared. Jiman and I spent the entire night without sleeping, just sitting quietly facing different directions.
The night that seemed endless finally came to an end, and the sound of morning breaking could be heard. The movement of soldiers waking from sleep and barely enough rations to keep from starving. I thought about what would happen today as I stared blankly at Jiman, who was offering me food. If Devan succeeded in granting my request, Kadilen would survive safely. If the rebellion proceeded as planned, the one whose neck would be severed by the forcefully swung sword would not be Kadilen but likely Zendal.
Then, what next?
I was closer than ever to my goal. Saving him, watching the world he would create, ending Ludin’s short remaining life, and returning to my world. That goal was now right before me.
But I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. Strange thoughts kept troubling my mind. I forcibly pushed these thoughts away and tried to focus on the footsteps of the rebels who had started moving again. They were marching resolutely toward their destination, completely unaware of what was about to happen.
Jiman looked worriedly at me as I sat in a daze, just quietly listening to the sounds from outside the box. I wanted to smile at him as usual and tell him I was fine, but I couldn’t do anything. My body, which Devan’s hands had examined, felt light unlike last night as the major wounds had healed. There was no reason to be sprawled out so helplessly.
“Open the box!”
The rebel army, which had been advancing for a while, suddenly stopped. Before I could notice their change, the door of the box confining Jiman and me opened. Immediately, I was dragged outside by the strong hands of soldiers. They blocked Jiman with their large bodies as he tried to follow me. Leaving Jiman shouting behind, I was weakly dragged to the front of the line.
I knelt before Kadilen, who looked down at me from atop his horse.
His army surrounded me. My eyes, which hadn’t seen light for a long time, couldn’t properly capture his face, obscured by the pouring sunlight. Soon, I could understand why he had summoned me. Kadilen’s cold voice was heard.
“Although I cannot be certain of your intentions, I know your warning was sincere, so I’ll give you a chance. Lead the way to that place yourself and prove your words are true. If your words are proven, I promise to spare your life afterward.”
I blinked several times to confirm what I was seeing through the soldiers. In my hazy vision, there was a landscape that overlapped with the picture Devan had repeatedly emphasized to me. As memories of Devan surfaced, painful feelings rose again.
This was the first place I had warned him about. The rebel army had stopped just before that point to put me at the front. Kadilen seemed troubled that the emotions he had read from me were genuine. Mixed with his distrust of me, he planned to use me as his bait for a final confirmation. A useless plan. I had already removed all obstacles in his path.
“…There’s no need for that.”
“Why? Are you now confessing your lies?”
“I’ve already cleared everything. There’s no ancient magic anymore.”
I tried not to think about why the danger had disappeared. I didn’t want to recall how I had protected him. But Kadilen’s questions continued without hesitation.
“Your words don’t make sense. You’ve been locked in that box for four days straight. How could a body that has always been confined, except when soldiers opened the door, suddenly make magic disappear?”
“…It just happened that way. There’s no threat anymore.”
I stumbled forward, wanting to show him. Kadilen, slowly following me, raised his voice as if he couldn’t understand my words.
“You said my army should avoid this place.”
“I did. Because it was truly dangerous then!”
“Can you prove it? You stand unharmed in a place you yourself called a trap.”
I was at a loss for words. The only person who could prove my words were true was Devan. But there was no way I could summon him. Even if he did come here, I couldn’t be sure he would support my claims. I gritted my teeth and lowered my head. Seeing my silence as surrender to him, Kadilen let out a small, derisive laugh.
“While I could never endorse Zendal’s politics, I always respected his principles in dealing with enemies. That’s why I went to the battlefield as his soldier. You were his son and comrade, so you must have fought alongside him in all his battles. And yet….”
“…”
“I truly never expected you to use such a low tactic.”
Clearly it was a miserable moment, yet I felt nothing. I just looked at the calm scenery, thinking about the effort someone had put into making this place safe. When I saw the picture he showed me, I didn’t realize. This place was too beautiful to be a trap.
Kadilen, with a face full of disappointment, gestured to his soldiers. They grabbed my arms with rough hands and dragged me back to the box. As the door opened, Jiman, who had been anxiously waiting for me, supported my limp body. I felt even more drained than when I had been imprisoned for days.
“Continue advancing. The Garun tribe is not far from here; we will join them.”
I heard Kadilen’s orders being repeated by many voices. Jiman, who had been examining me as I sat in a daze, carefully asked.
“Who was that person? The one who appeared last night…”
Jiman deserved to know everything. As I opened my mouth to explain, I couldn’t utter his name. It felt as if something hot was firmly lodged in my throat. When I just closed my mouth and said nothing, Jiman sighed softly.
“Take your time. Everyone is safe now, and that’s what matters.”
I closed my eyes, listening to his kind voice. Why wasn’t there a choice that could make both Kadilen and Devan happy? I thought I had tried so hard, but why was nothing done properly? Where did it all go wrong? Many questions arose, but I wanted to bury everything for a while.
As if reading all my thoughts, Jiman’s warm hand covered my eyes. Surrendering to that warmth, I quickly fell into a death-like sleep even in the rattling box. Faintly, I heard Jiman’s voice.
“Everything will be fine, Ludin.”
