# Chapter 18
Someone was entering the building. I quickly warned Jiman.
“No matter what I say from now on, don’t react.”
He moved his lips as if to say something, but at my resolute expression, he nodded with an anxious face.
It was too dark here to guess the time. As the door opened, sunlight—which I hadn’t seen for days—shone through the bars of the cell that confined me. Following that light, Kadilen was walking in. Beside him, the soldier I had threatened was glaring at me with a tense face. His determination to not let me go if my lies were exposed was evident.
Kadilen approached where Jiman and I were with an annoyed expression. I had worried he wouldn’t appear, but now an opportunity was right before me. I had to execute the plan I’d thought of while I was sick.
“I have something to tell you.”
I managed to speak with difficulty, but my next words were cut off by someone’s shout. I had thought it was unusually noisy outside, and sure enough, several soldiers were lingering at the entrance, trying to stop Kadilen.
“He’s been to Zendal! Ignore whatever he says!!”
At the voice that wouldn’t let me get a word in, Kadilen went outside to calm them down. The voices of soldiers pouring out their concerns toward him in hushed tones could be heard from a distance. Soon the surroundings became quiet, and he slowly walked back toward me. My hands grew damp with tension.
“Speak.”
Kadilen said calmly. It was difficult to gauge whether he was truly interested in what I had to say. I clenched my fist and struggled to choose my words. I had to convince him.
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“…”
“Why do you think Zendal hasn’t attacked this place, even though I went to the palace?”
He narrowed his eyes to grasp my intentions. It was the reaction I wanted.
“He doesn’t know yet. I didn’t relay the temple’s situation to him.”
Now Kadilen was watching me with his arms crossed. I carefully observed whether confusion appeared in his gaze. I still couldn’t be certain.
“I’ve lived as his subject all this time. Until I confirmed his tyranny at the recent banquet. Why would I deliberately return to the temple? Just to save one physician?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Zendal has lost me. I’ll give you information. It will help your rebellion.”
After saying this, I inwardly prayed desperately. Even when I lied to Zendal and Devan at the palace, I had never been this tense. If this plan worked, I intended to pretend to demand power while actually revealing everything that could be a threat to Kadilen’s future. Because in Ludin’s current position, no matter what I said, he had no reason to believe me.
I thought he would also know that there were many strange aspects to claiming I had simply returned to the temple for Jiman’s sake. Even though I had fled to the palace, no harm had come to the temple. Kadilen was deep in thought. Seeing him contemplating for quite a long time, despite entering the building as if he didn’t care, gave me hope. Was he considering what I wanted him to? To drive the point home, I added one more thing.
“In exchange, give me the northern castle. I won’t covet the throne.”
I had to show the image of a son who would sell his father for greed. However, as he listened to my words, he frowned.
“…What are you doing?”
“I’m saying I’ll help you achieve your goal.”
Kadilen, who had seemed to be falling for it, frowned even more. After thinking about something for a moment, his face became increasingly distorted with anger. In an instant, Kadilen’s hand shot through the bars and strangled my neck. I heard Jiman scream.
“Stop it, Kadilen!!”
I thought I could deceive him. But Kadilen, with blazing eyes, gritted his teeth and muttered.
“Stop your filthy tricks. You’re too confident I won’t kill you right here.”
“Kuhek…”
“Reading the emotions of a weak-hearted person is all too easy. The more vile the heart, the more it shows.”
His hand tightened. A painful groan escaped from my throat, strangled by his strong grip. My oxygen-deprived brain was spinning wildly. A terrible ringing filled my ears.
“Please stop… His body isn’t well… It’s all lies, Kadilen.”
I heard Jiman’s voice, mixed with tears. Kadilen removed his hand from me with a displeased expression. His face showed disgust, as if he had touched something dirty. He asked the crying Jiman.
“What is a lie?”
“He’s actually been sick for a while. It’s all a misunderstanding. Please, Ludin…”
“You’re really something.”
After coldly cutting off his words, Kadilen turned around without hesitation. Collapsed and disoriented from trying to breathe through my blocked airway, I was gasping and clutching the bars. With dim eyes, I watched as he strode away from me without hesitation. As he was leaving the building, he was loudly scolding the soldier.
“Is this why you called me?”
“I’m sorry, Master.”
“When we’re busy with final preparations, to call me out for such a useless reason. You should be ashamed.”
I could hear the soldier making various excuses in confusion. Jiman approached me and helped me breathe by counting numbers. His face was completely wet with tears. Soon the voices diminished, and only the sound of my unstable breathing echoed through the building.
“Why did you do that…?”
“I have something I must convey. I’ll go and…”
I frantically tried to get up. But the cold bars blocked my way. Kadilen had long disappeared beyond the door. I slumped down and bit my lip. I had to think of some other way. I knew he wouldn’t listen to me, but now that I had failed so miserably, my heart grew even more urgent.
As I was anxiously considering the next plan, I heard footsteps striding back in my direction. I raised my head with a sliver of hope that Kadilen might have returned. What I saw was an extremely angry soldier. Before he had called Kadilen, his words rang in my ears again.
‘If your lies are exposed, regardless of my master’s orders, I’ll punish you myself. Be prepared.’
I trembled and moved away from the bars. He approached with flashing eyes and quietly whispered with a voice full of anger.
“I regret that you’re cursed. To think I can only punish you to the brink of death…”
After finishing his words, he unlocked the cell with rough hands. Though I crawled into a corner as I slumped down, soon my hair was grabbed by his strong hands. The soldier threatened me and calmly opened his mouth.
“No one will come to save you.”
Jiman screamed. Ignoring him, the soldier slammed my head, still holding onto my hair, to the floor. My forehead and nose were crushed against the cold floor. Before I could even feel the pain, the next move followed. He dragged my limp body away from the wall and mercilessly kicked me. I had no opportunity to curl up to protect my wounds. When his foot stomped on my solar plexus, my breath was completely cut off.
The panting soldier, unable to contain his anger, lifted me by the collar. Blood was pouring crazily from my nose, which had its bones crushed. I stared at his anger through eyes that were swollen and barely opening. Seeming unsatisfied, he punched me several times before finally tiring and throwing me to the floor. My knee, smashed against the hard floor, was bent in a strange direction. I no longer felt any pain.
“Someday when Kadilen kills you, I will watch with my eyes wide open.”
The soldier spoke to me while catching his breath. My collapsed body felt the cold rising from the floor directly. I didn’t even have the strength to turn my head to look at him. After trampling on my unresponsive form a few more times, the soldier finally locked the cell securely again and returned to his post to keep watch.
I could hear Jiman sobbing. My heart was breaking.
“I’m sorry for showing you such a sight again.”
“I… I will tell him everything… If Kadilen knew why you’ve been acting this way…”
His naivety made me laugh even in this situation.
“Kadilen would never believe me, Jiman.”
Jiman sat down on the floor with me. Since I had collapsed in a corner far from his cell, his outstretched hand couldn’t reach me. When his sobbing grew louder, the soldier shouted a warning. I slowly brought my finger to my lips.
“Don’t cry. There will be a way.”
Though I spoke confidently, I couldn’t think of anything specific. The only fortunate thing was that I had become immune to pain. Despite unhealed wounds, the worst possible condition, and now injuries on top of that, strangely my mind was clear. Pain that had exceeded the threshold could no longer affect my mind. That fact was both an advantage and a miserable disadvantage. After all, I could vividly recall the feel of Kadilen’s strangling hand and the look in his eyes.
I comforted myself that these were useless thoughts for now. How he thought of me wasn’t important. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know, or as if I was seeking affection from him. There was nothing harmful to me except that it had become more difficult to deliver information to him. There definitely shouldn’t be. There should be no reason for my chest to feel this tight, no need for his voice to keep echoing in my mind.
“May I ask the reason…?”
Jiman, who had been watching my contemplation, spoke with difficulty. Not understanding his question immediately, I asked back.
“What reason?”
“The reason you want to save Kadilen.”
“…”
Though it was an obvious thing, words didn’t come to me right away.
“You’ve been hiding your illness for Luan’s sake. Until you came to the temple. Has your heart changed since then? If you don’t stop his rebellion like this, Luan will also lose his power.”
“…I suppose so.”
“Is Kadilen’s life so precious to you that you’re willing to risk everything?”
I turned my head toward him. There was Jiman, staring at me intently with reddened eyes. He spoke again.
“I am prepared to risk everything for you, Ludin. If you tell me your heart, I will follow.”
Blind faith. This couldn’t possibly be directed at me. It must be trust toward the life of Ludin before I took it over. My gratitude and regret toward Jiman were growing stronger for this very reason. When the day of my death comes, whatever the end might be, there was something I had to tell him.
I’m sorry for pretending to be your Ludin.
“He was an important person to me. I wanted to be like him, and if he were alive, I would have wanted to meet him at least once… I was so angry that he was dying…”
I opened my mouth, thinking of Kadilen. The thrill I felt listening to his story. The sense of injustice I felt watching his death. As I recalled all these emotions, I became certain once again.
What opportunities I would have missed if I hadn’t known him. How different my real life would have been from what it is now. I probably would have remained stagnant, without even being aware of it. What I had gained from his existence was far greater than what I was losing now to save Kadilen’s life.
“That’s why I want to save him. Even if I suffer a bit, you know I don’t have much time left anyway.”
Jiman, who had stopped crying, looked down at me as if sweeping over my collapsed form.
“…I understand.”
Our gazes intertwined, creating something solid. The debt was growing.
* * *
Ludin’s infuriating illness gnawed even deeper into my injured body. Now Jiman couldn’t even shout to call the soldier, fearing it might harm me.
I was afraid I might die here. While wondering if I would be able to return to my world if I continued like this, I couldn’t help but worry. Devan and Zendal’s strategy was perfect. No matter how many soldiers Kadilen gathered or how thoroughly he prepared, it would be difficult not to fall into even one of the traps set by those who had already seized power. And if he fell into even one, he would meet the ending I knew. That couldn’t happen.
While anxiously letting time slip by, the prison door opened and careful footsteps echoed. The soldier rose in surprise, but the person who entered the building instructed him to be quiet.
It was a voice I knew.
“…Ludin.”
Wimu’s voice was more subdued than ever. Jiman approached him to request help.
“Please help. At least bring some medicine. He’ll really die at this rate.”
Wimu bent his knee to examine my condition. The sound of his sigh deepened.
