# Chapter 12
Just as he had said, an incredible festival began. Servants appeared from somewhere, continuously delivering food, and the drunken nobles, loosened up and relaxed, lavished compliments on each other. At the end of their pretentious conversations, they didn’t forget to slip in jokes that subtly put down those they disliked. It didn’t take long to realize that their favorite topic to gossip about was Ludin.
Some didn’t even stop their mockery when they saw me passing by. It didn’t hurt or wound me since they weren’t actually criticizing the real me inside, but as someone who understood better than anyone how Ludin had struggled to hide his illness, I couldn’t feel good about it. Devan kept checking my expression while enthusiastically sampling various foods and enjoying the sights. He was someone with exceptional talent when it came to enjoying himself.
“Try this.”
What he handed me was a round, lime-green food. Devan looked so happy as he placed it on his palm, about the size of a coin, and held it out to me. But for someone like me who disliked all green-colored foods, including vegetables, this mysterious green food was hardly appealing.
“No.”
He frowned.
“It’s delicious, I’m telling you.”
“The color is weird.”
“You used to like everything before.”
Feeling caught, I quietly turned my head and started walking in the opposite direction when a particularly noisy group spotted me and gestured.
“Lord Ludin! Come join us.”
Though they called out as if pleased to see me, there was mischievous intent written on their faces. As I reluctantly approached them, Devan, who had been following behind, casually took my hand.
“It must be quite a relief to finally come down from the mountain after so long.”
“And yet, you’ve still brought along your old growth from the past days.”
I could see people covering their mouths and laughing behind us. Not knowing what was going on, I couldn’t find an appropriate response, but Devan curved his lips upward and countered.
“Lord Ludin is fortunate, isn’t he? Delicious things are delicious no matter when you eat them.”
It was like a coded conversation. Looking displeased, the noble glanced back and forth between Devan and me before taking a wine glass from a passing servant’s tray.
“Here’s what you enjoyed even more. It became your flesh and blood, didn’t it, Lord Ludin?”
He smiled maliciously and extended his hand as if to offer me the glass, but then the red liquid spilled from the tilting glass. As I stood there dumbfounded, staring at my clothes now soaked with wine, anger suddenly welled up inside me. It was clearly intentional. The nobles who had been snickering quietly were now openly cackling. I opened my mouth, determined not to back down, but Devan, who was still holding my hand, smiled brightly and flicked his finger lightly.
In an instant, the noble stood dazed, drenched by liquid that had poured down like rain. Devan slowly looked around the now-chilled atmosphere. As if challenging if anyone had more to say. The noble who had lost face now glared at the composed Devan with an expression that looked like he might cry any moment.
“Delicious things should be shared.”
“Pfft.”
It was my turn to laugh. Devan looked satisfied as he watched me burst into laughter. Seeing the noble’s face turning bright red with anger, I hurriedly pulled Devan away to another location. If we had stayed any longer, I feared we might turn the banquet hall into a battlefield while responding to their pranks.
“You look good when you laugh.”
He tilted his head to look at my face. Honestly, it felt gratifying. It was the first emotion I’d felt since entering Ludin’s body. There had always been too many problems to solve to feel any satisfaction. Too many things to hide, too many things to endure.
“Want me to do more? I can do other things too.”
“That’s enough.”
Though he spoke with a childlike, bright smile, I quickly stopped him from saying such wicked things. Was my relief that obvious? I tried to put on an indifferent face, but I couldn’t control the corners of my mouth that kept turning up. In my good mood, I allowed myself to let loose just for one day. Finding a wine glass, I took a drink, and Devan smiled along with me.
The wine I tasted after so long was incredibly sweet. The kingdom’s wines were mostly red, but they varied in aroma and taste, making it fun to sample different kinds. Joy, interest, deliciousness. I felt so elated that I wondered if I had ever used these words as much as I did today. I was losing my self-control with each smooth sip of wine. Still, I had no intention of stopping. Devan didn’t try to stop me either as I kept drinking without pause. When I staggered slightly, having trouble keeping my balance, he caught me before I fell and sat me down in a chair. With the alcohol affecting me, I found it difficult to read the look in his eyes as he gazed down at me. How much had I drunk?
I laid back languidly and looked up at him comfortably. Without even realizing it, this had become the first day I had let my exhausted body and mind relax. The contrast was so great that it doubled my good mood. Devan, who knew I was in high spirits, moved closer to me. Clever guy. He knew how to seize an opportunity. His hand, moving cautiously at first, gently caressed my nape, brushed past my collarbone, and moved further down. Even though I knew nobles were gathered in crowds right next to us, I let him touch me. The thought “why am I doing this?” crossed my mind, but only briefly. His touch was warm and filled with affection. When something feels good, it’s good.
“…What happened here?”
His hand, which had been tenderly moving downward, reached my waist, and he suddenly tensed, demanding an answer from me with a hardened expression. It was the wound from when Kadilen misunderstood me and I had private training—a cut from his swinging sword. The wound had healed, but an ugly scar remained. Satisfied with my languid body and his gentle touch, I didn’t appreciate his cold expression.
“It’s just a scar, what else? Come here…”
Despite my urging, he didn’t soften his rigid expression. As if trying to confirm something, Devan rolled up my sleeve, exposing my bare skin. Feeling cold and uncomfortable at the sudden exposure, I whined that it was annoying.
“What is it… Stop it…”
“You…”
Next was the burn mark on my shoulder. After lifting my top further to discover several still-healing wounds and even more scars, his expression froze coldly. As if demanding an explanation, he held onto me, but seeing my already intoxicated gaze, he heaved a deep sigh. I tried to read the emotions on his face. But as all the nobles seemed to be spinning in circles like a round dance, Devan’s face became faintly blurred, making it difficult to grasp his mood.
“What’s wrong…?”
“What have you been…”
As if finding it difficult to continue, he sighed again. Upset by his sudden emotional change, I forcibly tried to get up to escape from him. But too dizzy to take more than a few steps, I had to be caught by Devan’s hand again.
“Tell me what you want. What exactly have you been doing?”
He wore a frightening expression. Drunk and disoriented, and also annoyed by his insistence, my mouth opened without much thought.
“Kadilen…”
“What…?”
As soon as I uttered that name, I felt a surge of emotion. At the same time, I realized my mistake. Sure enough, Devan, with a contorted face, gripped my swaying body more firmly and demanded a detailed explanation. It was all useless. I had exceeded my alcohol limit long ago. Just for today, I thought. Everything became bothersome, and as I tried to move my body to get more wine, darkness suddenly enveloped me.
“Hey, are you really passing out like this? Hey…!!”
With Devan’s voice growing faintly distant.
* * *
The first thought upon opening my eyes was one: I will never, ever touch alcohol again, for real.
Holding my throbbing head and rubbing my eyes, I realized I was in unfamiliar surroundings. First, excessively ornate metal decorations adorned the entire ceiling. Looking around, my mouth fell open even more. Furniture that was clearly expensive, dazzling ornaments placed on top. There were even large marble pillars in the room. Two of them.
This was probably Ludin’s room. Choosing to be banished to the temple while leaving such a nice room behind—this was the first time Ludin’s actions seemed stupid to me. It was a place where I could probably live for years just by selling any random item, though the strangely quiet atmosphere was a bit scary. As I carefully got up from the bed, the robe I was wearing—so soft I hadn’t even realized I had it on—slipped off. Seeing the scars all over my body reminded me of the ointment Jiman had given me. He had told me to apply it regularly.
My luggage was placed in front of the wardrobe. I rummaged through it thoroughly but couldn’t find the ointment. I had also lost the medicine that was in my pocket; it seemed I had lost the items in my bag as well in my hurried departure. It wouldn’t be strange if they had fallen out while riding the horse in a rush. I could do without the ointment, but the problem was the medicine. Jiman had said that taking the medicine wouldn’t cure my body, but it was effective in reducing pain or boosting my stamina. Having lost half of it on the way, I had far too little medicine for my stay at the palace. Of course, this was the natural result of not having packed extra. If I had known Devan would bring me here like this, I would have brought more…
As my thoughts reached that point, I wondered where Devan was. My last memory was clearly… Kadilen???!
????
I was so shocked that I dropped the luggage I was holding and stood frozen in place, not even hearing the sound of the door opening.
“Wow, hot stuff first thing in the morning.”
It was his voice. Awkwardly turning my head to meet his eyes, I didn’t understand what he meant and stiffly raised my hand in greeting. But soon I noticed the robe that had slipped off and was now lying on the floor, which meant I had just greeted him while completely naked.
My face automatically turned red. Devan stood there without much reaction as I rushed to put the robe back on. Leaning casually against the doorframe, he watched me frantically getting dressed without saying anything until my embarrassment subsided. I was seriously flustered to face him before I could think of an excuse to cover up what I had said right before passing out from drinking. But I was the one who brought it up first.
“Yesterday…”
“Saying thanks? Don’t bother, let’s just eat.”
I actually wasn’t going to say thanks, but I nodded silently at his words. Perhaps he had also drunk a lot and didn’t remember, or maybe it wasn’t so strange that I, having lived at Kadilen’s temple for over two years, mentioned the name of my master and soldier when drunk. At least that’s what I wanted to believe.
Following his long strides, we arrived at the dining hall. It was an astonishing sight, several times more impressive than Ludin’s room had been. My excitement at the splendidly laid-out food quickly cooled at the thought that in a month, I would have to return to the temple and eat things like spinach again. I firmly resolved to eat to my heart’s content while staying at the palace.
Taking my first spoonful after sitting down, I realized that appearances weren’t deceiving this time. The beautifully decorated food tasted just as beautiful. While I was happily eating as if I hadn’t eaten for days, I suddenly felt someone’s gaze, and looking up, I saw Devan at the other end of the table, resting his chin on his hand and staring intently at me. Smiling awkwardly, I tried to avoid his gaze and focus on the next dish, but his words stopped my hand that was reaching for a fork.
“So, why do you want Kadilen?”
