“I can’t move because it smells like Dad.”
The air was twice as stale, much narrower and more enclosed than the work space outside. But Seonwoo tried to smell the scent underlying it. The paint stains that always remained on his hands like spots, the fabric softener used at home, the perfume Mom had given as a gift—all of those had permeated this space.
“……”
Taejeong had no reaction. He just stood still with the same blank face as before. Seonwoo rolled his eyes for a moment and then handed over the envelope that had been in his inner pocket.
“Here. Taxi fare.”
Taejeong’s face scrunched up for a moment. Is this not it?
“……Do I look like a beggar to you?”
“Then what? If you have money, go home. Why are you doing that?”
“……”
Don’t tell me he wants him to say thank you for helping? But looking at that temper, there was no way that was it. For the same reason, after eliminating various speculations, Seonwoo thought of a certain possibility.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried I might commit suicide?”
“……”
This time, instead of snapping at Seonwoo, he kept his mouth shut and chose silence. That was no different from admitting it. Seonwoo was quite surprised. Perhaps even more than when he heard the news of college acceptance.
It was such an absurd reason. Seonwoo found it even harder to believe that Taejeong was smart enough to aim for medical school admission. No, in a way, was his imagination abundant because he was smart?
Even if he asked why he followed, he seemed to finally understand why he kept his mouth shut with a blank face. Thinking about what mindset he got on the taxi with, Seonwoo was truly……
“What are you laughing at……”
He couldn’t hold back the laughter that burst out. Like a fish thrown on the ground, his upper body heaved, and then he turned his body completely to the side and giggled.
Hak, haak, hak. The laughter mixed with turbid breathing sounds also sounded like embarrassing moans. As if he couldn’t handle it himself, Seonwoo even grabbed his stomach with both arms.
After laughing like that for a while, when he turned his body, Taejeong’s face was as fierce as when he’d taken off his underwear and handed it over. It was the perfect treatment of someone as mentally ill.
However, to Seonwoo, it no longer came across as a threat or insult like before. For that, Taejeong had already shown too much.
“Hey.”
A helpless smile hung on Seonwoo’s lips. He couldn’t believe that after the accident, the first time he laughed was for such a reason.
“You’re going to lose out a lot living like that.”
Taejeong shoved both hands in his pockets and opened his eyes into triangles. It was because he thought Seonwoo was looking down on him.
“……Seeing you badmouth me, I guess you’re doing okay.”
“Why is this cursing? It’s better than living desperately.”
“What kind of lip service bullshit……”
“My dad said so.”
“……”
Like a set sequence, Taejeong shut his mouth. It was obvious he was swallowing a sigh while pretending not to. Even though he couldn’t retort for long, he was just full of pride. That pride, which seemed weak to external shocks unlike his appearance, was something Seonwoo could stimulate as much as he wanted.
However, the sight of him wearing only a tank top kept catching his eye, so he let out a deep sigh as if replacing what Taejeong had swallowed.
“I have a lot to do. I’m going to sleep here.”
It wasn’t a lie. After organizing the dusty studio and Dad’s luggage, when day broke, he had to start calling the students. He had to explain the circumstances and give refunds too…… Just running simulations in his head already drained him.
“You go to your house.”
“……”
“I won’t commit suicide. I won’t die. You won’t be called to the police station, so please go.”
Isn’t this believable enough? Even when he added that there was no blanket for him to cover himself with, there was silent non-response. He wasn’t demanding this or that, just standing blankly in the same spot.
Seonwoo gradually became annoyed. There was no more business. He’d laughed all he could laugh. So he looked for an appropriate excuse that would make Taejeong leave this place on his own feet. The contemplation wasn’t long.
“Do you know your underwear is in my room’s closet?”
“What?”
“Really. Hurry up and go check.”
Without a reply, Taejeong just tilted his head crookedly. It seemed he thought it was crazy nonsense. So when he recited even the underwear design and brand logo, his face turned pale in an instant.
“Why would you, no. Never mind. Don’t tell me, it’ll make me puke.”
“The reason I put it there is……”
“Don’t tell me!”
It’s because I was afraid of getting beaten by you. If he’d held back his anger even for a very brief moment, he would have heard the reason. Taejeong, who had already made numerous imaginations with his smart head, turned his back in disgust.
Since the family was in that state, he must not have received proper home education either. He didn’t even know that you should listen to people until the end. But whatever misunderstanding Taejeong had, it was enough if it was effective.
Seonwoo lazily just blinked his eyes. If he stayed like this a little longer, he felt like he’d fall asleep. From far away, the sound of the studio door lock opening and closing was heard.
“……”
Should he finally move his body that was sprawled out having found its place or not? He thought about it for a moment. Then, hit by the cold wind coming through the window crack, he eventually raised his upper body.
Taking off the coat he’d been wearing all day, he left the small room. When he opened the studio door, there was Taejeong turning his head with a startled face. He thought he would have already left, but he hadn’t even climbed all the stairs and was pacing around near the entrance.
Taejeong reflexively caught something flying toward his face in that instant. He prepared for a dull impact to come, but what actually touched his hand was a checkered shirt with a soft texture.
“Put it on and go. You’ll freeze to death like that.”
“I don’t need this kind of crap……”
“Then throw it on the street. Do whatever.”
Seonwoo’s kindness extended only that far. He closed the door before Taejeong’s answer came back. Since it was something he did to feel comfortable, it didn’t matter how Taejeong reacted.
He immediately returned to the small room and laid out the bedding. He lay down lazily and waited for the electric pad to warm up. When he closed his eyes, the face that had looked at him with disgust came to mind. By now he must be having all sorts of thoughts.
Probably in Taejeong’s head, he had fallen from a psycho who suddenly takes off even his underwear to a hopeless perverted bastard who keeps other people’s underwear in his room. Actually, by Seonwoo’s standards, the two weren’t much different.
With that temper, there’s no way he’d search through the closet nicely, and when he returned tomorrow, maybe a drawer or handle would be broken somewhere. Should he burn it this time too? Or throw it in the trash?
Idle imaginations extended wildly. Seonwoo didn’t realize that his head, which had been full of tedious problems, was now solely thinking of Taejeong.
ლ
Seonwoo buried his head in the pillow just like that and fell asleep. He really just fell asleep. Only the part touching the electric pad was warm and his face sticking out of the blanket was cold, so when he opened his eyes, it was morning.
To shake off the drowsiness, he headed to the bathroom inside the small room. When he showered with hot water, his foggy mind gradually became clear. As he wiped off the moisture with a towel, only then did the state of his body come into view. His naked body had no intact places. Not only the cheek he’d self-harmed for extortion, but his right hand was more swollen than usual and his knee had a deep blue bruise.
Just from his appearance, he looked like a student who ran away from home due to domestic violence, but Seonwoo, who had just finished showering, didn’t feel bad. Because his body smelled of familiar shampoo, it felt just like coming home.
Seonwoo swept through the studio with water still dripping from his hair. He opened all the windows in sight and first got rid of the musty mold smell.
The studio items were basically organized, so there was nothing more to touch. After running the vacuum cleaner, Seonwoo wiped the dust that had piled up thickly throughout the studio.
Whether it was shelves or desks, the dust that had accumulated in a whitish layer was visible to the eye, so just lightly touching it with a wet rag made it come off pitch black.
