“!”
At 4 AM, I heard the sound of the door opening and someone’s presence. Startled, thinking it was an intruder, I held my breath and grabbed a kitchen knife. The moment the intruder passed through the living room, the dim light from the veranda revealed it wasn’t an intruder but Lee Hyeonseok.
Lee Hyeonseok seemed to have business in the kitchen, so he turned on the kitchen light. He looked exhausted, as if he’d been through a lot. Not knowing I was there, Lee Hyeonseok came to the kitchen and was startled when he saw me standing in front of the sink holding a kitchen knife, his body flinching for a moment. He thought hard in his own way about what I was doing, then opened his mouth.
“…What are you doing.”
“I’m offering purified water and praying.”
When he finally couldn’t figure it out and asked in disbelief, I put down the kitchen knife and answered. Then I clasped my hands together as if praying toward the rice bowl containing clean, pure water I’d drawn from early dawn. It was fresh water I’d drawn a whopping 5 minutes ago.
“Why were you holding a kitchen knife.”
Lee Hyeonseok found the combination of purified water and a kitchen knife quite strange, asking as if disgusted. It couldn’t be helped. If an intruder entered the house, I couldn’t just stay still, could I?
“I thought you were an intruder….”
“You’re definitely going to send me to the hospital someday.”
Still, it was embarrassing, so I trailed off, and Lee Hyeonseok spoke with a voice full of conviction. I could send him if he wanted.
“But, purified water? Didn’t I tell you not to go out? Do you want to get beaten up, do you want something bad to happen?”
At my mention of drawing purified water, Lee Hyeonseok thought I’d gone outside and started threatening me with a lowered voice. Lee Hyeonseok always emphasized that outside was dangerous. Even as I wondered if Cheon Jaekyung’s household was really making such a fuss just to mess with me, he kept me inside the house as if it wasn’t just that.
“As if.”
Lee Hyeonseok even had guards stationed outside the door. It was one of the reasons I couldn’t even think of going outside after having my phone taken by the secretary. I’d only tried to go out to buy tteokguk ingredients on New Year’s Day, but Lee Hyeonseok would never know how absurd it was when the guard blocked me from leaving. When I was told they’d buy it for me so I should go back inside, I was at a loss for words. When I received a phone call—apparently they’d reported to Lee Hyeonseok immediately—telling me if I needed anything ordered, to ask the people stationed outside and not to think about leaving, Lee Hyeonseok became even scarier.
Of course, thinking there was nothing good about getting on Lee Hyeonseok’s bad side, I faithfully listened to those words. My goal was to stay quiet without getting on his bad side as much as possible and then leave Lee Hyeonseok’s house. Lee Hyeonseok had a terrible temperament, a nasty disposition, and no manners, so I shouldn’t create trouble for nothing.
“Then what’s that.”
Since I faithfully listened to Lee Hyeonseok’s words and had never gone out, naturally there would have been nothing to report. Lee Hyeonseok asked fussily despite knowing. It seemed he was getting irritated since I wasn’t giving him a proper answer. And yet he was the one who always said things that made me imagine all sorts of scary scenarios before hurriedly leaving—truly a case of double standards.
“It’s tap water drawn early in the morning.”
I, who had been earnestly praying to gods I knew and gods I didn’t know, finally opened my eyes and looked at Lee Hyeonseok. Lee Hyeonseok looked at me with a face that asked if I was calling that an answer. My earnestness must seem fucking hilarious.
“If you’re earnest, the universe will make it happen.”
Ignoring Lee Hyeonseok, I clasped my hands together again, closed my eyes, and prayed. For Lee Hyeonseok to quickly return to being a debauched and promiscuous bastard who can’t be satisfied with just one person, to leave me alone nicely, and to live a fucking long and healthy life.
“Right. When even possession has happened, what wouldn’t come true.”
Lee Hyeonseok went into his room with heavy sarcasm. I uncrossed my hands and raised my middle finger straight up with one hand.
With his habit of only doing what he wanted and saying what he wanted before going into his room, I couldn’t ask why he’d come home in the early dawn. He was truly the master. Which was true.
* * *
Lee Hyeonseok came out of his room around 2 PM, past lunchtime. I was surprised while sitting on the living room sofa watching television, but Lee Hyeonseok didn’t care at all. He looked slightly sensitive, so it seemed like sparks would fly if I provoked him, so I pretended not to notice and shrunk into a corner.
Perhaps he came out because he was thirsty—he took out bottled water from the refrigerator and drank it. Somehow the ominous feeling wouldn’t go away.
The sound of gulping echoed throughout the house.
Attempting to become one with my surroundings, I didn’t make a single breath and didn’t give Hyeonseok a single glance. I’m fucking a sofa. A wall, air, a table.
Did my efforts work? After drinking water, Lee Hyeonseok went back to his room. But instead of the sound of the door closing, I heard the sound of a drawer opening.
Fuck…. There’s fucking that thing. When you feel that intuition like, ‘Today is my death anniversary. Ah, I’m fucking screwed.’ And I was feeling exactly that right now.
My heart was beating so fast it hurt.
My gaze was fixed on the television screen, but none of the content was registering.
I heard the sound of Lee Hyeonseok coming out of his room. And he walked straight to the living room where I was. Slowly, but at a steady pace. Was he some kind of grim reaper?
“Come here for a bit.”
Lee Hyeonseok sat right next to me, so I didn’t know where he meant. While I was frozen in an upright position just blinking, Lee Hyeonseok put something down on the table and pulled me toward him, and I ended up in his embrace. His body was faintly hot as if he was sick somewhere. While being startled, wondering what he’d put down, I looked at the table and it was lubricant.
I see. Today’s the day I get devoured.
Ominous premonitions are never wrong. Prayer and all that, it was all useless. Cursing gods that existed and gods that didn’t, I slowly turned my stiff neck to look at Lee Hyeonseok’s face. Ugh. Lee Hyeonseok’s eyes had already gone crazy.
“It’s okay. I still have a lot of rationality left, so I’ll go easy on you.”
If you’re going to go easy, I wish you wouldn’t do it at all. Rationality left my ass—I could already feel Lee Hyeonseok’s large and robust thing hardening since earlier. Hey. Right now you’re showing off your masculinity to me.
“When I don’t want to… you said you wouldn’t….”
“I’m in rut.”
I timidly objected, but Lee Hyeonseok said firmly. It seemed so. Even if I’d left my sense outside a book, I would have known. I was just trying to escape reality a bit.
“!”
As if my body was really covered in honey, Lee Hyeonseok buried his face in my neck and sniffed. Even while startled, I was truly grateful I’d showered earlier. Right. It’s better to get beaten quickly—since it’s come to this, it’s better to get it over with quickly. Still, I couldn’t help my heart beating as if it would leap out. Cold sweat even formed on my hands and I got goosebumps, but there was nothing I could do. I had nothing, so I couldn’t do anything. Nothing.
“Ah…!”
Lee Hyeonseok, who had been sniffing my body for a while, lifted my top and started touching my chest. An exclamation burst out involuntarily from shock. Now my legs started trembling. My stomach started churning faintly. My face was undoubtedly pale even without looking.
“Hold this in your mouth.”
Lee Hyeonseok, who had been handling my chest like a toy this way and that, seemed bothered that my top kept falling down, so he made me hold the top in my mouth. It was a moment when I could understand why people who are molested stay still. Because even if you want to move your body, you can’t. All those bastards with decorative brains who ask why you stayed quiet while being sexually harassed should die.
“Ugh….”
“Not those sounds—make some pretty sounds.”
Even though I’d steeled myself, I couldn’t help the disgust, so a crying sound came out, and Lee Hyeonseok frowned and grumbled. Ah. I fucking hope you die. I’ll pray this earnestly, so please just die. I’d hoped you’d live a long and healthy life to suffer for a long time, but just die.
“Uh….”
“Tsk.”
Still, I couldn’t help my physiological reactions. Right now I didn’t have the leisure to humor him, so I ignored Lee Hyeonseok’s words and just let out disgusted sounds, and Lee Hyeonseok got pissed. “Tsk,” what? I wanted to tsk at this bastard. And yet, in this world. I had to be grateful that Lee Hyeonseok was just saying things verbally and not forcing anything on me. Of course, it was unchanged that we were still doing this.
“We just need to enjoy each other, what are you so dissatisfied about.”
I was dissatisfied from one to ten. Why do perpetrators never know that? Lee Hyeonseok muttered as if he couldn’t understand me, who was enduring this situation with difficulty with my eyes squeezed shut. If this bastard knew how hard I was enduring, even if he knelt before me and did 108 prostrations it wouldn’t be enough.
“Tsk.”
I wanted to say something, but my mouth absolutely wouldn’t open, so I just kept my eyes squeezed shut and Lee Hyeonseok clicked his tongue. Regardless of that, I was busy persuading myself. Surely if I just fumbled through this one time, it would be okay from next time. Right, it’s okay. The first time is hard, but is the second time hard?
Lee Hyeonseok gave up on me trembling and continued the act. Still, compared to his usual rough words and actions, the act itself was gentle. The thought that he was a deceptive bastard wouldn’t leave my head. His body carrying a slight fever began to heat up my body. Lee Hyeonseok’s heat transferred to every corner of my body that had grown cold from tension.
“…W-wait…!”
“What? Why, ah… Hey, stay still.”
This won’t do anymore. Lee Hyeonseok-ssi, just a moment please. You’re going too fast. Give me a time out please. When I finally couldn’t endure it and started struggling in Lee Hyeonseok’s embrace, he was flustered too.
“Just a moment!”
“You’re the one…!”
I, who had been lying still in Lee Hyeonseok’s embrace, pressed down on his thigh with my right arm to escape from him, and pushed his chest with my left arm.
However, as expected, accidents come at moments no one anticipates.
