“…Huk!”
As expected, the first thing I felt this time was the cold, hard floor. Because it was the second time, I was able to come to my senses quickly. I looked around while searching for my phone first. It seemed like an unused empty building. I was anxious wondering what if someone had taken it, but fortunately my phone was right nearby. As soon as I turned on the screen, I checked the time first.
It was almost 4 o’clock.
For a moment, everything went black before my eyes. Even the day I possessed this body wasn’t this despairing. My hands trembled involuntarily. I found the map app and checked my current location. I live in Seoul, but this was Gyeonggi-do. Looking at the arrival time from my current location to the exam site, it would take 40 minutes even by taxi. The taxi fare was estimated at about 50,000 won, but even if it were 500,000 won, I would have called a taxi. Even though I knew it was a useless act.
After calling a taxi, I belatedly discovered text messages and missed calls. Out of a total of 17 missed calls, 2 were from my parents, 5 were from Dongsu, and 9 were from my homeroom teacher. There was also one from an unknown number. The number of unconfirmed messenger notifications was displayed at the maximum of ‘999+’. I couldn’t breathe properly.
My parents’ messages said they were sorry for not being able to take me today and to do well on the exam. Dongsu’s messages started with asking if I had woken up and ended with worried messages asking where on earth I was. The teacher’s messages, having belatedly heard the news that I hadn’t arrived at the exam site, asked where I was and what happened since they couldn’t contact my parents either.
I was scared wondering what could have happened to my parents when something had happened to me, but suddenly I remembered before leaving the house that they said the battery was running low.
A sound announcing the taxi had arrived was heard. The moment I tried to stand up, my legs gave out and I collapsed. Only after repeating it two or three times could I stand up.
I barely came out on trembling legs. The taxi driver was shocked seeing me covered in dust while wearing my school uniform and asked what happened, but I couldn’t say anything. Seeing me staring straight ahead with unfocused eyes like a lost soul, the taxi driver clicked his tongue and gave up asking me questions.
The men said they had offended a “rich young master’s” feelings. The only rich young masters I knew were Lee Hyeonseok, Han Taeseok, and Cheon Jaekyung. All three of them had sufficient motive, so I didn’t know who to suspect first.
But Lee Hyeonseok seemed unlikely. If he was going to screw me over, he’d do it with his own hands, not borrow someone else’s.
Han Taeseok and Cheon Jaekyung were suspicious. The two of them already had hostility toward me. According to Lee Hyeonseok’s testimony, he warned that Lee Juwon, who had marked me, would screw me over through other people’s hands. Lee Juwon might have twisted his words to Han Taeseok and Cheon Jaekyung saying he got beaten because of me. And the two who heard the story, or one of them, could have been the one who screwed me over.
My hands were completely cold.
Thanks to there being no traffic, I was able to arrive 5 minutes earlier than the expected arrival time. I got off the taxi in the alley leading to the exam site. Since it was a distance that couldn’t be entered, I had to go around, and it was faster for me to run than that.
“Student! There, what. Cheer up!”
“?”
The taxi driver hesitated and comforted me. Even though I understood the meaning in those words, I pretended not to know. I thought the taxi driver was saying something out of the blue.
I headed toward the exam site like a crazy person even though I already knew I couldn’t take the college entrance exam. I was too scared to check the time until the end. Maybe because it was winter, the sun started to set early and the sky was already beginning to darken. Even though I had only run a three-minute distance, I was out of breath. The closer I got to the exam site, the more people there were. It was also noisy. My heart was beating like crazy, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of anxiety or because I was running.
People who spotted me looked at me strangely. I heard someone’s pitying voice saying “Oh my, oh my.” It wasn’t strange that after several people saw me, all the eyes of people nearby focused on me. Normally I wouldn’t have known what to do with the concentrated attention, but right now it didn’t bother me at all. The crowd started to murmur.
The people waiting for their children, lovers, parents, or friends while surrounding the school gate made way for me like Moses parting the waves as I headed toward the gate. However, the gate was firmly closed with no intention of opening.
I couldn’t even think of touching that iron gate.
After being like that for a while, I felt like something was photographing me. I heard clicking shutter sounds too. When I came to my senses and turned my head toward where the sound came from, as I guessed, someone was photographing me. It seemed like they were a reporter. When the reporter realized I had noticed them, they became awkward, but hesitated and approached me to attempt an interview.
“Are you by any chance a college entrance exam student?”
It was a question but also a question filled with certainty. I just stared blankly at the reporter without answering. They seemed embarrassed and watched my mood, but didn’t step back.
“So what?”
I asked apathetically. There wasn’t an ounce of agitation. I just asked. I was curious. Why is this person curious about that from me? The reporter who heard my question took it as an affirmation. So did the surroundings. Sighs of pity for me burst out here and there saying “What to do,” “They must have just woken up now.”
I also heard sounds looking down on me saying “No, what kind of mindset comes at this time?” and “These kinds of kids always appear.” At the same time, other reporters who had been somewhere approached me.
“Did you just wake up?”
“Did you go to the wrong exam site?”
“Was there no one to wake you up?”
They must have been really curious as they rushed at me like a pack of starving hyenas. My ears were ringing and I couldn’t hear properly. Since I had no energy and just stayed still, bystanders asked what kind of behavior this was and pulled the reporters away from me. They rebuked them asking if they didn’t feel sorry for the kid. They condemned them saying this is why they get called trash reporters.
It became chaotic in an instant. While being pushed this way and that, someone pulled me out with difficulty and took me to a place where no one was. I didn’t even know who they were and was docilely dragged along. They were an adult man and woman. The two people who seemed to be a couple apparently helped me. They looked at me pitifully, unable to say anything.
“Are you o… Haah….”
“I have warm water. Do you want to drink some?”
The woman tried to say “Are you okay?” but gave up. It was obvious that there was no way I could be okay. It was clear it wouldn’t come out even as an empty phrase. The man stroked my back and carefully offered me something to drink. I slowly shook my head.
I could see that they were genuinely worried about me. They were good people.
“Well, I’ll be going now.”
Strangely, my voice and body weren’t trembling at all. Until I arrived here, I couldn’t properly put strength in my body due to trembling, so it was a strange thing.
“Wouldn’t it be better to call your parents?”
“I’ll call them. What’s the number?”
When I tried to move my steps, they urgently stopped me. They smiled forcedly and asked for my parents’ number in a coaxing and soothing voice. They seemed very anxious about leaving me alone. Probably they were worried I might decide on suicide out of despair from not being able to take the exam. However, contrary to their worries, I wasn’t particularly thinking about suicide or anything like that.
It was certainly shocking, but I thought it was because I hadn’t tried that hard. I left the spot, leaving them behind as they desperately tried to hold me back.
And I tried to go home, but strangely I couldn’t leave the vicinity of the exam site. If I went near the exam site, it was certain that a commotion would break out again, so I entered an empty alley where no one was and stood there blankly. I stared blankly only at the exam site.
“……”
Is this for real?
* * *
While standing there blankly, students who finished the exam started to come out. The quiet street quickly became noisy. Laughter was mainly heard, but occasionally crying sounds were also heard.
I watched it like I was watching a drama or movie. It seemed like something completely unrelated to me. The exam was over. I, who didn’t even shed tears, was finally able to move.
I turned on the map app again to go home and was burying my head in the screen when a shadow fell over my head. Thinking I was blocking the way, I moved my feet to the left, but the person in front of me also moved their feet following me. Thinking the timing overlapped, this time I moved to the right, and they followed again. I frowned and lifted my head.
Lee Hyeonseok was standing in front of me. As nonchalant as usual. Unlike him, only I was surprised, not having thought we’d run into each other at all, when Lee Hyeonseok opened his mouth as usual.
“As expected, looks like you couldn’t take it.”
And the words that came out of his mouth always flustered me. At first, I thought Lee Hyeonseok was picking a fight with me. I wondered if he desperately wanted to see me lose my reason and charge at him. Then suddenly Lee Hyeonseok’s words came to mind.
‘You won’t need it.’
My head tilted unconsciously. As I blinked my eyes, the words he said and the words he said a few days ago alternately came to mind. And I also thought of Han Taeseok and Cheon Jaekyung. I kept having the ridiculous thought that Lee Hyeonseok knew I wouldn’t be able to take the college entrance exam. Whether Han Taeseok or Cheon Jaekyung, whether both of them instigated it or one of them instigated it. In any case, Lee Hyeonseok knew the fact that someone had instigated making me unable to take the exam….
“Did you know?”
In the end, I ended up asking Lee Hyeonseok with the feeling of opening Pandora’s box. It was a question without even a subject, but somehow I was certain Lee Hyeonseok would understand. I don’t know where I got the nerve, but I was even speaking informally to Lee Hyeonseok, but I absolutely didn’t feel like retracting it or fixing it. Lee Hyeonseok, possessed by some whim, didn’t particularly say anything. Instead, there was no answer either.
“Did you know?”
I didn’t think he didn’t answer because he didn’t understand. There was no change in Lee Hyeonseok’s expression, but he definitely knew what question I asked and what it meant. I asked once more. Apathetically and without agitation.
“I wasn’t unaware.”
Lee Hyeonseok, as expected, knew the meaning of my question. For not having answered at first, he answered without hesitation. He too, apathetically and without agitation.
The bone-cutting sharp and fierce cold was no different from a cutting wind.
It was a cold wave.
