“Sir Aila, put down the sword you’re carrying.”
The knights had no trust in me yet, so they commanded me to disarm while pointing their swords at me.
‘I would have done the same if I were them.’
So there was no reason to be offended or hesitate. I unfastened the sword at my waist with one hand and set it down on the floor. Only then did the knights relax their tension and check on His Highness’s condition.
“How did he stop His Highness?”
“It didn’t look like he was doing anything special to my eyes.”
“When His Highness gets into that state, even Sir Ken couldn’t stop him.”
The knights seemed unable to understand how exactly I had stopped His Highness. Since it was something I couldn’t understand either, I couldn’t give them an answer. I could only vaguely guess that perhaps seeing me, who couldn’t help but resemble Tiel, had calmed him down.
“Silence!”
Sir Ken barked at the unsettled atmosphere and stood beside me to support His Highness together.
“If you’re alright, let’s move him to the bed.”
Sir Ken whispered after confirming that His Highness had completely fallen asleep. It seemed he didn’t want to wake him. With the help of another knight, we succeeded in safely lifting His Highness onto the bed. I deliberately ignored the figure lying right beside it.
“Hah……”
The defenseless appearance of His Highness, which I was seeing for the first time, felt awkward. Even when he slept, I always felt there were no openings, but today he looked completely unconscious. As I quietly examined His Highness’s face, I realized my own impropriety and quickly rose from my spot.
“What on earth is all this… Can you explain?”
When I managed to get up from the bed, I saw that only four knights who were His Highness’s close aides remained in the room. Once the commotion settled, it seemed the other knights had gone back to the corridor to stand guard.
“This is why we shouldn’t assign new knights in the afternoon.”
Sir Ken wore a rare regretful expression.
“This kind of thing doesn’t happen often.”
“That’s not what’s important, is it? Hasn’t he developed an illness?”
This kind of thing shouldn’t happen at all. At least when I was alive, there were no signs of sleepwalking.
“It’s a problem that arises because he doesn’t sleep at all. After swinging his sword once like this, he at least closes his eyes for a bit, so everyone’s been keeping quiet about it.”
“Why doesn’t he sleep in the first place? If there’s some problem, he should at least try taking medicine or……”
Before I could finish speaking, I could guess that such things had already been attempted. There was no way the physicians and healers would have stayed idle with His Highness in such a precarious state.
“Those in the imperial palace have resistance to poison, so medicine doesn’t work well on them either.”
“Why on earth……”
I let out the words I had murmured several times today once more. Sir Ken’s gaze passed over me and moved toward Tiel’s body. Admitting that my efforts to deliberately ignore that direction were useless, I too stared at that flesh that had long since grown cold.
‘Is that really me?’
Perhaps because I had already adapted to Aila’s body, Tiel didn’t feel like me. Instead, it felt like he would open his eyes at any moment and reproach me, saying I was the culprit who caused today’s incident.
“There are those outside who say His Highness’s appearance of being plunged into grief over Sir Tienas’s death is fabricated. They claim it’s being used politically, and that this is an opportunity to undermine the power of the Sayus Ducal Family. It’s rather fortunate that such talk is circulating.”
His grief was real.
“Since Sir Tienas died, His Highness hasn’t been eating or sleeping properly. He only performs the minimum activities to sustain life. If he could restore breath to that corpse by carving away his own blood and flesh, he would gladly do so.”
The reality I had wanted to deny came crashing down on me like fierce waves. In the worst possible form at that.
‘Should I not have died?’
I hadn’t known that what I thought was the best decision at the time would lead to this result. There was a time when I consoled myself thinking that even if he faltered for a moment, he would eventually get better, but now I couldn’t do that anymore.
‘Did I… destroy His Highness like this? There’s no way I had that kind of value. Did I think something wrong?’
Sir Ken continued his explanation, seemingly unable to read my confusion.
“Still, right now he can pretend to be fine and move to identify and deal with the noble faction that supported the Second Prince and induced the war. After that, who knows what will happen……”
Sir Ken murmured with genuine concern for His Highness. Recalling his loyalty and the faces of the knights I saw today, I found myself nodding. Thanks to deploying only ‘people who would absolutely never betray him,’ this news hadn’t leaked outside yet.
‘But this won’t last long either.’
No matter how hard the knights tried, there were limits to keeping mouths shut.
“If what happened today leaks outside, not only will your neck be gone, but so will the necks of those who heard about it. Starting tomorrow, you’ll stay with me continuously. When you need to leave the imperial palace, I’ll attach a knight to you.”
For treatment given to the only person in this place who couldn’t be trusted, it could be considered quite lenient. Instead of resisting, I nodded in understanding.
“Yes. I will follow your orders.”
“You don’t ask many questions. I think I understand why His Highness called you as a guard knight.”
My head felt numb at the positive words instead. I thought all I had shown so far was clumsily imitating Aila and my defeat in the sparring match, but perhaps because of what just happened, Sir Ken’s evaluation of me was higher than I thought.
“Pardon?”
“It’s unlikely, but you have aspects that resemble Sir Tienas. I’m not telling you to imitate Sir Tienas, but if that gives His Highness comfort, it’s a good thing.”
It seemed a person’s true nature or habits ingrained in the body were truly difficult to hide. Even though I had uttered words in front of Sir Ken several times that the original me would never say, he still managed to find traces of Tienas. I rolled the bitterness around in my mouth and swallowed it with difficulty.
“I wonder if that’s really comfort.”
An escape was ultimately just an escape. Moreover, His Highness hadn’t brought me here to use as comfort, but to be suspicious of me. Right now he was unconscious, but the more he found similarities to Tiel in Aila, the more displeased he would certainly become.
Before I died, I couldn’t imagine myself being loved, but I hadn’t thought I would be hated either. Even now when everything had changed, I didn’t want to receive such a look from His Highness.
‘I thought I shouldn’t put the Caesius family in danger, but perhaps the truth was that I didn’t want to become an object of hatred to His Highness.’
Just as I was about to fall into self-mockery, Sir Ken cut off the tail of my thoughts.
“At least today you became something like comfort. How long has it been since I’ve seen him sleep like that……”
He reached out and gripped my shoulder tightly.
“At first I regretted calling you here, but after talking, I think you could be a decent change. His Highness must have his deep thoughts too.”
Unlike me who was still confused, Sir Ken seemed to have finished organizing his thoughts alone.
“Then I’ll go back outside.”
But as if sensing my departure, I felt a presence from the bed.
“Tiel.”
At the voice drunk with sleep, I hurriedly turned around, wondering ‘Has he woken up?’ Fortunately, His Highness still had his eyes closed. However, one arm was groping over the blanket as if searching for something.
“Come here.”
Sir Ken hesitated for a moment, then beckoned me over with a hand gesture as I was about to go outside.
“You go to him. If someone else goes, he’ll attack.”
“What? How could I dare climb onto His Highness’s bed?”
“It’s all for His Highness’s sake.”
“Won’t he attack me this time too?”
“Just go for now. There are plenty of people who will save you if it’s dangerous.”
I approached the bed still without dispelling my suspicion. But rendering that useless, His Highness’s arm suddenly shot out and pulled my body into an embrace. My body stiffened rigidly.
“Never leave again.”
Crumbling breath touched the nape of my neck. Was that the catalyst? The emotions I had kept tightly shut for fear they would explode if I opened the lid, emotions I hadn’t been able to fully release, swirled in a vortex.
