“Yes. I think I’ll be late. Rest first. Yes.”
The time when the sun had climbed to the top of his head. Seo Eunho, who’d barely finished the morning’s work and entered the shade, turned off his phone screen. Just before going to eat lunch, he’d thought the bell was ringing, but it was because his father had called.
He’d tried to have the conversation as naturally as possible, but he didn’t know if he’d really succeeded. Seo Eunho rubbed the back of his neck and let out a hot breath. In the midst of being sticky from sweat, his whole body burning hot, it felt like he’d melt away right then.
After causing a commotion in Tae Shinwoo’s car, Seo Eunho had been avoiding his father. He hadn’t particularly liked running into him originally, but these days it was worse. His father didn’t know anything, but Seo Eunho knew.
That he himself had been at the end of the gaze that had glanced over, curious about the expensive car at the neighborhood entrance.
What he’d done inside that car—Seo Eunho remembered it too vividly.
“Hah…”
The hand that had been rubbing the back of his neck this time scrubbed roughly at his face. Just as he’d barely removed his father’s face from before his eyes, this time Tae Shinwoo appeared and it was a disaster.
Like his father, no—in this state, even more uncomfortable to face than him was Tae Shinwoo. He had no idea how he should look at Tae Shinwoo’s face.
Unless his brain had melted away. He’d done it because he didn’t want to be played, but somehow the situation had become strange. He couldn’t blame anyone. It was himself who’d clung to Tae Shinwoo.
“…”
Did he get caught? Maybe Tae Shinwoo had learned of his feelings. Every time that thought came, he felt stuffy as if his insides were blocked tight. Then what should he do? Should he just pretend not to know and be played along with Tae Shinwoo’s rhythm?
But he had no confidence. No confidence to keep his head straight, and no confidence to act calm as if this act was nothing. His resolutions kept becoming futile. He’d thought he wasn’t being played, but no matter how he looked at it, he was in Tae Shinwoo’s grasp.
“Eunho-ssi, aren’t you going to eat?”
“I’ll follow right away.”
Forcibly dropping Tae Shinwoo who swam through his head as if teasing whenever he had a moment to rest, Seo Eunho went deeper into the shade. He intended to just smoke one cigarette and follow. Seo Eunho tried hard to find composure.
“Ah.”
But as if it had been waiting, his phone that started ringing easily shattered Seo Eunho’s composure.
If it wasn’t his father, the only person who would contact him was Tae Shinwoo. Since there’d been no separate contact from Tae Shinwoo since that day, he’d been inwardly relieved. He’d thought it would be good if they met as late as possible, after the memories of that day had become a bit more hazy.
Seo Eunho took a big breath in and clenched then opened both hands. Seeing it had vibrated once, it seemed to just be a message, but tension came and his throat stiffened.
After hesitation, Seo Eunho checked his phone. It would probably say to come to the hotel. He didn’t know why checking was this difficult.
“What the…”
However, the moment he actually checked the message, the tension that had risen completely deflated. It was because the message sender wasn’t Tae Shinwoo but Kim Junseong.
Seo Eunho raised the corners of his lips and laughed hollowly. Had he been anticipating rather than feeling tense? He really wasn’t in his right mind in many ways.
[What are you doing today? Let’s have a drink]
What drink? He’d given his number when asked, but they weren’t on terms to make time to meet. Seo Eunho sent an answer without hesitation.
[Busy working]
When work ended he’d be too tired to function. Tomorrow wasn’t even his day off, so there was no reason to overdo it.
[What kind of work do you do?]
Whether he had nothing to do, the reply was fast. Seo Eunho sucked in the lit cigarette deeply. It was an ambiguous occupation to describe, so answering took some time.
[Construction site laborer]
This was probably the most clear answer. Seo Eunho pressed the send button without hesitation. The Kim Junseong he remembered would probably mock this answer, asking if he was still living like that, but it didn’t matter even if he did.
[The weather’s hot too, you’ll crave alcohol even more after work lololol]
[Let’s have a drink, don’t dodge]
However, Kim Junseong’s reaction was quite different from Seo Eunho’s expectations. So Seo Eunho, who’d frowned, belatedly let out a short laugh.
This bastard’s personality really changed. Getting older, did he mature too?
Seo Eunho leaned his back against the wall and pondered the message. They weren’t on terms to meet and he didn’t want to meet either. But he didn’t feel like just saying he didn’t want to. It was because Kim Junseong’s attitude brought back memories he’d briefly forgotten and made him curious.
*’Do you keep in touch with Tae Shinwoo?’*
What Kim Junseong had said while holding him back when he was about to leave the store right away at Tae Shinwoo’s call suddenly bothered him. In his memory, Kim Junseong had definitely had an unclear and subtle expression. It didn’t seem like a question that came from the context of not contacting him while contacting Tae Shinwoo.
Only the two of them knew what had happened between himself and Tae Shinwoo. So Kim Junseong giving off a nuance that it was strange he was in contact with Tae Shinwoo bothered him no matter what.
[Sure then]
Soon finishing his deliberation, Seo Eunho stubbed out the cigarette he was smoking and sent a reply. Tae Shinwoo probably wouldn’t contact him. If he did, he could just ditch Kim Junseong and go.
***
Though work had ended, the sun was still up. Thanks to today’s work progressing faster than expected, it had been a while since he’d gotten off work early. Usually he continued working as long as the sun was up, so leaving work when his surroundings were this bright felt a bit awkward.
Seo Eunho walked flapping his sweat-soaked clothes. Though it had ended much earlier than the time he’d indicated to Kim Junseong, it was bothersome to stop by home, shower, and come back out.
[Do I need to wash up before going?]
Still, he was too much of a mess. Seo Eunho asked as a courtesy. Whether he was looking at his phone all day, the bastard’s reply was fast this time too.
[Just come roughly, why wash lol]
Knowing Kim Junseong wouldn’t even see it, Seo Eunho nodded his head. Then he walked to a nearby public restroom. He intended to just roughly wash his face and go.
Not for Kim Junseong, but because contact might come from Tae Shinwoo just in case. Because Tae Shinwoo’s contact was generally sudden.
“…Ha.”
Really playing the part. A hollow laugh caught on his impassive face. He found himself pathetic for waiting for Tae Shinwoo’s contact all along while pretending not to.
When contact actually came, he’d be flustered not knowing what to do, yet his foolish heart kept seeking Tae Shinwoo.
It’s frustrating. He couldn’t contact him first either. Wasn’t that funny too? It was spreading his legs whenever Tae Shinwoo wanted, not a relationship formed because he himself wanted it.
Seo Eunho shook his head back and forth and turned off the screen. On the LCD screen where Kim Junseong’s message had been displayed, Tae Shinwoo’s contact was now showing.
If he was going to be like this, why did he save it? Every step he took brought foolish thoughts. But erasing it now was useless. Tae Shinwoo’s number had already firmly remained in his head.
This kind of memory is really uselessly good. Even remembering such things wouldn’t let him see anything good.
The dry voice saying it was a disconnected number was still vividly audible even now. Despite it being a very old matter.
Seo Eunho smiled. It wasn’t particularly funny, but he just wanted to smile.
***
The place where he sat facing Kim Junseong was trivial. It wasn’t bad but not good either. If he had to express his impressions, it was a bit strange. Unless it was a company dinner like last time, it was rare for Seo Eunho to drink with someone.
Did he relax because it wasn’t a company dinner? It was funny that Kim Junseong felt comfortable. But Seo Eunho, who didn’t get thoroughly drunk even at company dinners, was really truly wasted today.
“You’re a bad bastard.”
Still, his situation was better than Kim Junseong’s. The guy who’d been reciting high school stories he hadn’t even been asked about, wondering what he had so much to say, was now quite drunk with his body half laid on the table. The words that had continued slurredly had long since transformed into complaints directed at Seo Eunho.
“I, huh? Right. I acted stupidly, I admit it. I admit it but…, does that mean abandoning a friend? Huh? That easily?”
Perhaps too much alcohol had entered, what the guy was saying didn’t register right away. Seo Eunho answered slowly only after several seconds had passed.
“Why would you be my friend?”
He had no intention of hiding his displeasure. It was funny that he’d thought they were friends in the first place. Friend, what friend?
At a story he seemed to have heard about a hundred times already, Seo Eunho got equally annoyed. If he’d been sober, he would have left long ago at the repeating conversation.
“No. We’re not friends now. We’re not! But we were close in high school, weren’t we?”
“…We weren’t friends then either.”
“What?”
“I said I never thought of you as a friend.”
“…Even then?”
“Then and now are the same.”
“Wow, fuck.”
Though neither of them were aware of it, the same type of conversation had already continued several times. Including Kim Junseong getting all worked up and immediately downing a shot of soju.
Seo Eunho was about to drink to match him but stopped. He only now thought he’d drunk more than expected. He had to go to work tomorrow too. He’d let his guard down too much just because work had ended early.
“This is really too much.”
In the meantime, Kim Junseong bowed his head and muttered. Seo Eunho just blinked his eyes. Wasn’t the conversation going in circles a bit?
Though it had been like that for easily an hour already, Seo Eunho didn’t realize that far. At least it was fortunate that he’d noticed the fact that they were saying the same things.
“Bad bastard…”
Seo Eunho was also the type whose memory evaporated quickly whenever he drank. He had some skill in forgetting the thought he’d just had and quickly thinking something else.
“No matter how stupidly I acted…”
But Seo Eunho could be confident at this moment that he was better than Kim Junseong. Kim Junseong, whose tongue was completely twisted, was entering the cycle of the conversation they’d had earlier again.
“You just said that.”
As if he himself had never done such a thing, Seo Eunho frowned and offered advice. At that, Kim Junseong quickly raised his gaze then tilted his head.
“Said what?”
What a sight. Seo Eunho shook his head vigorously and pushed away the glass in front of him entirely. It was an expression of will not to drink anymore. Even though he was already drunk as could be, he didn’t want to become similar to Kim Junseong.
“You’re not my friend.”
“No, now we’re not of course,”
“High school was the same. And you shouldn’t say you acted stupidly, should you? You were just trash.”
“…Wow, is it okay to be this cruel?”
Kim Junseong blinked his eyes with a look of being genuinely hurt. Whether it was the alcohol or what, Seo Eunho found it awkward to meet such eyes.
But that didn’t mean he wanted to change his words. He’d really thought that way, so there was no need to lie.
“Still, dude…”
Kim Junseong muttered with a thoroughly sullen face. Though smaller than him, the guy who wasn’t that short muttering made quite a sorry sight.
“But you don’t go to Tae Shinwoo.”
The pathetic thought didn’t continue long. As soon as Tae Shinwoo’s name popped out, Seo Eunho’s eyebrows twitched. Simultaneously, his gaze went to the phone placed on the table. He felt like he’d looked at it about a hundred times just today, but Tae Shinwoo’s contact had never arrived.
No. This isn’t the time to be waiting. Seo Eunho furrowed his brow mercilessly then let out a deep sigh. Both Kim Junseong and Seo Eunho’s shoulders were slumped.
“Huh? No! You can’t meet Tae Shinwoo!”
That was the moment Kim Junseong suddenly accelerated. Seo Eunho, who’d been met with a loud voice without knowing the reason, looked at Kim Junseong with an absurd face. The voice had been so loud that the noisy bar became quiet for a moment, and gazes started flicking over.
“You’re not completely switching over to Tae Shinwoo!”
Even the nuance wasn’t very good. He wasn’t sure if it sounded strange because he himself liked Tae Shinwoo, or if Kim Junseong’s words were really strange. But whispering sounds started being heard here and there, so Seo Eunho realized it wasn’t that he’d taken it sensitively.
“Don’t talk so strangely.”
His head throbbed. Seo Eunho pressed his temples and brought back the glass he’d pushed away. He was going to stop drinking now, but to deal with the thoroughly drunk Kim Junseong, it seemed he couldn’t sober up.
It was my mistake to come out to meet this bastard. Seo Eunho let out a deep sigh.
“What’s strange about it? It’s the truth!”
“Stop acting crazy and go home if you’re drunk.”
“Drunk? Who? Me? That’s funny. Hey. I’m a talker when drunk, a talker. You’re the one who’s drunk!”
“Do you not know what ‘talker when drunk’ means?”
Had the meaning of ‘talker when drunk’ changed without him knowing?
Seo Eunho, who’d been about to drink, judged it was better to be sober and turned the glass upside down. It was better to go home than deal with Kim Junseong. He’d already drunk too much, and he’d spent enough time with Kim Junseong. It was hard to even count the bottles rolling around roughly.
“Get up now. I have to work tomorrow—”
“Still, Tae Shinwoo is really not—…”
“…I have to work, so stop drinking and get up. You said you work tomorrow too.”
“Right? A punk is better than a gangster bastard!”
Gangster or punk.
Seo Eunho scrunched his face then belatedly tilted his head. Even if it was true now, even in high school Tae Shinwoo had been a self-acknowledged model student. So Kim Junseong calling Tae Shinwoo a gangster was strange.
“Hey. Eunho-ya. Seo Eunho.”
“What?”
“Don’t keep in touch with Tae Shinwoo. Or something big will happen…”
“What are you talking about?”
In the midst of it, Kim Junseong was spouting words with no context that were completely incomprehensible. If the topic hadn’t been Tae Shinwoo, Seo Eunho wouldn’t have even been listening to Kim Junseong’s words.
“Say it properly. Don’t cut off the beginning and end.”
“That bastard is completely out of his mind…, ack!”
Kim Junseong’s eyes seemed to widen. The silence that filled the interior was incomparable to the silence that had arisen when he’d shouted just before—it came after Kim Junseong’s head was slammed into the table with a bang.
Seo Eunho stood dumbfounded at the situation that had occurred in an instant. Even in that moment, the large hand gripping his not-small head was pressing down hard on the back of Kim Junseong’s head.
His heart sank. Just looking at the hand, he could tell who had committed the sudden outrage. Seo Eunho’s gaze slowly moved to confirm the other person’s face. And as expected, Seo Eunho faced Tae Shinwoo. He was looking at himself, not Kim Junseong, with a smiling face.
“Junseong must be tired.”
“…”
“I was going to say hello because it’s been a while and I was happy to see him. But I was surprised because he suddenly collapsed.”
It was Tae Shinwoo who’d slammed Kim Junseong’s head onto the table, when he’d been talking just fine though a bit slurred. Seo Eunho’s mouth gaped. He should say what are you doing, but perhaps because he was flustered, his voice wouldn’t come out. In the meantime, Kim Junseong, who’d been putting strength in his head trying to escape from his grasp, suddenly let his body go limp.
“Hey, are you okay—”
“Let’s go.”
“What?”
“You seem really drunk, so let’s break up now. You have work tomorrow, don’t you?”
“Hey, still…”
“Junseong isn’t some eighteen-year-old kid, and after a bit he’ll wake up and go home on his own. I don’t think you need to worry.”
Tae Shinwoo’s gaze went to the back of Kim Junseong’s head. Kim Junseong didn’t even move slightly. It seemed like he might have lost consciousness just like that, making it difficult to readily move as Tae Shinwoo wanted.
“It’s better to listen to a gangster bastard than a punk.”
“Ah.”
Tae Shinwoo roughly pulled the arm of Seo Eunho, who showed no sign of moving at the words to go. Though he tried resisting even slightly, Seo Eunho was literally dragged to stand up.
“Let’s go.”
“…”
“I said it twice. Don’t make me say it three times.”
At Tae Shinwoo’s words, Seo Eunho, who looked at Kim Junseong again, soon slowly moved his steps following Tae Shinwoo. The steps heading outside the bar swayed from the alcohol. Seo Eunho didn’t look back at Kim Junseong even once until going outside.
Though there was the reason of Tae Shinwoo acting forcefully, the biggest reason was that he’d clearly seen with his own two eyes Kim Junseong urgently waving his hand toward himself as if telling him to hurry and go, even with his head slammed into the table.
