Thirty
If he’d pulled out his foot back then, would something have changed? Probably it was already too late. Because he’d limited giving up the space he hadn’t given to others bit by bit to simply being because of money, his younger self simply hadn’t realized it.
He was already becoming soaked in the guy. Very much according to Tae Shinwoo’s intentions.
Well, what meaning would there be in regretting it now? Seo Eunho knew better than anyone that it was a useless act.
Inside the expensive-looking hotel, Seo Eunho, wearing only drawers and a robe thrown on carelessly, sat on the sofa.
Was there a need to come to a place like this just to have sex? At Tae Shinwoo’s level, couldn’t he roll around just anywhere?
Well. It was hard to imagine Tae Shinwoo rolling around on a bed placed in a musty motel room anyway.
“Ha.”
Seo Eunho swept up his not-yet-dry hair and let out a sigh. When he leaned his body against the sofa backrest, the robe that wasn’t properly tied flowed down carelessly, but he didn’t care. Strictly speaking, it was a situation where it didn’t matter if he was naked.
“…”
It felt like Tae Shinwoo’s touch still lingered between his legs. It was natural for the foreign sensation to continue since he’d just directly pushed his own fingers into a hole he’d never once thought of for such a purpose.
Knowing that, he got up from his seat abruptly because sitting still was uncomfortable and circled around the hotel. Whether sitting or standing, the vivid feeling didn’t subside.
The moment he felt that his own will wasn’t needed for Tae Shinwoo, Seo Eunho resigned himself and tried to accept reality. So he thought they’d do it right there in that damn office.
‘Ngh…!’
‘H Hotel.’
However, Tae Shinwoo was cunning then and now.
‘Wait there. If you really don’t want to, just don’t show up. I’m giving you a chance.’
What other words were there to express it?
Poking around recklessly in a completely untrained hole, then whispering that if he didn’t like it, he’d let him go.
And thus, ultimately, making him choose to sell his body with his own hands and have his debt forgiven. How cunning it was.
Twelve years ago and now, nothing was different. Time had just passed and the conditions had become vulgar, but the contract he and Shinwoo had made back then wasn’t much different from the current one. Because his position being limited to a toy was the same.
He didn’t particularly resent Tae Shinwoo. He was the one who crossed the line that had been clearly drawn from the start. With his childish heart, he’d also taken the maximum revenge he could at the time.
Then was what Tae Shinwoo was doing another revenge for his revenge?
Thinking that way, it was very Tae Shinwoo-like. Giving hope and giving despair too.
To erase the shitty thought, Seo Eunho looked around. If he’d known it would be this late, he should have bought a bottle of soju. It would have been better not to be sober.
The regretful feeling was brief. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before he discovered a few bottles of wine in the hotel. Thinking it worked out well, Seo Eunho gulped down the wine straight from the bottle as soon as he removed the cork. It was disappointing it wasn’t soju, but even this was something.
“…”
Wetting his throat with the red wine, Seo Eunho soon returned to the sofa. Even though he came to this place to have sex, waiting on the bed seemed a bit strange.
Before he knew it, it had been close to two hours since he entered this hotel. He’d given his father advance notice that it seemed he wouldn’t be able to come in, so it didn’t matter if time got late, but he was curious what he was doing. Did he have other business? Or was there work left to handle at that office?
Well, maybe when it actually came to doing it, it felt dirty. For good reason too, it was a bit questionable. Could Tae Shinwoo really embrace him, a man? Did he even desire that?
He himself, who was being forced into a contract, was just imagining it and his lower belly was tensing up.
“Haha…”
Seo Eunho laughed absurdly and rubbed his face. If Tae Shinwoo’s touch reached him, his body would unconditionally react.
It would have been nice if it had just ended as first love that he’d suffered through like a fever once upon a time. The foolish feelings still occupied a corner even now, twelve years later. Seo Eunho already knew that.
Seo Eunho owed a debt to Boss Gu. Precisely, it was the debt his father had lost through gambling.
He was a person who was prepared to make Seo Eunho do whatever it took so he could repay the money quickly.
Seo Eunho, too, from the point he accepted his father’s debt, was prepared to do anything. So even when he ended up doing host work pushed by Boss Gu’s pressure, he thought it couldn’t be helped.
He just needed to play along appropriately, so he thought it wouldn’t be difficult. However, that work only made Seo Eunho realize a terrible truth.
Because the situation wasn’t favorable, the touch of others he’d never felt before was uncomfortable. But that touch brought up the face of Tae Shinwoo, whom he thought he’d forgotten long ago. Most shocking of all was that.
He knew then. Ah, those feelings still haven’t passed. They’re still lingering here, he thought.
“…”
Earlier, he’d reacted too easily to Tae Shinwoo’s touch—that was proof of his thoughts. Even now, twelve years later, those feelings from back then were still binding him.
It was unfair and sad. So when Tae Shinwoo mentioned the hotel and sent him out, Seo Eunho had tried to just run away home.
But the reason he didn’t was, paradoxically, because he didn’t want these feelings to be discovered. In case him running away when he should be able to do anything for money became a clue to these feelings. In case he ended up handing his feelings into Tae Shinwoo’s hands again because of that.
Not twice. That’s why Seo Eunho came to the hotel. As if he could do anything as long as he could repay the debt, paradoxically acting dignified because of that.
“Whew…”
After gulping down a few more mouthfuls of wine, Seo Eunho let out a long sigh. His cock, already twitching, seemed to eagerly anticipate what would happen next.
Not wanting to see that disgusting sight, Seo Eunho raised his head, placed the wine bottle on the table, and pushed his hand between his ass cheeks. The back hole that had been pressed once by Tae Shinwoo’s rough touch, and then several times in the bathroom, twitched as if anticipating stimulation.
Seo Eunho judged that the fact he’d worked at a host bar had reached Tae Shinwoo’s ears. And the reason he quit too.
While working, Seo Eunho’s cock had never reacted even once. That lukewarm response created dissatisfaction, and Seo Eunho naturally had no choice but to quit the job.
No, Seo Eunho quit on his own because of the uncomfortable feelings that surged up every time he worked. Regrettably, while working there, Seo Eunho suffered from lust every night thinking of Tae Shinwoo’s face. At the time, Seo Eunho really felt like he’d lose his mind.
Was it simply that he didn’t want women, or did he just want Tae Shinwoo? Seo Eunho deliberately tried not to conclude. Because the answer was practically obvious.
Where else could there be something as ridiculous as having that answer discovered?
Seo Eunho would react to Tae Shinwoo. Then his stale feelings would be discovered too. It was an unwanted thing. Therefore, Seo Eunho needed to find another reason that was easy to attach.
For instance, that he liked men. So he’d been meeting men all along.
Well. He didn’t know if Tae Shinwoo would be fooled. But he couldn’t just do nothing and stupidly show everything either.
“Ugh…”
That’s why he was doing this dog-like thing. Because he wanted to seem accustomed to it.
Tae Shinwoo would push his cock into his back hole. That’s why he pushed his fingers in. Then, for the sake of the lie, at minimum, he had to make this tight hole seem accustomed to receiving something.
“…Ngh.”
Enduring the uncomfortable feeling and poking his back hole, then drinking a few more mouthfuls of wine and reaching his hand back again.
The numb act continued. Fortunately, it wasn’t completely ineffective. The feeling of going in and out was definitely different from the beginning. It was worth enduring the shitty feeling and loosening it up for a while.
“…”
This should be enough.
Only after his fingers started going in and out without difficulty did Seo Eunho get up from his seat. Even the moment he lay back down on the sofa after washing his hands, the back hole that had been stimulated to the fullest twitching was bothersome, but he pretended not to know.
More than half the wine had already run out.
Should I empty it all? Thinking that, Seo Eunho shook his head. He couldn’t greet Tae Shinwoo completely drunk. It seemed like it would be better to pass through while heavily drunk and not in his right mind, but since it wasn’t something that would end with just this one time anyway, it seemed better to just be sober.
“Tae Shinwoo.”
Seo Eunho muttered Tae Shinwoo’s name while looking at the ceiling. Why was his name rolling around in his mouth so unfamiliar? Seo Eunho soon squeezed his eyes shut. To ignore the sound of his heart that started pounding loudly the moment he let his name out of his mouth.
