The conclusion he reached after screaming like a marmot on a cliff for several hours was this: He, who had been a beta, had done… that kind of thing with Gil… Taeseo and manifested as an omega as a result. Not only that, but pregnancy and childbirth had to be added as well.
Lastly, in the process of his body breaking down from the collapse of his pheromone system caused by all that, he had even lost his memory.
No matter how much he denied it and rubbed his eyes, the already written words didn’t change.
‘Possession… isn’t there something like that?’
He tried absurd hypotheses that would appear in web novels, like possession or whatever, but for that to be the case, the resident registration card that came out of his wallet was too familiar.
Not to mention the omega registration card found with it. On the plastic card was a familiar name, photo, and clearly the trait of omega written on it.
“Are you seriously fucking insane…”
To Saehyeon, it was full of nonsense. That traits could change so easily didn’t make sense, and the other party was Gil Taeseo, no less. He couldn’t help but feel like it was a nightmare, an April Fool’s joke.
Since there were trait-holders like omegas and alphas, it wasn’t strange in itself for men to date and marry other men.
But that was a matter between trait-holders, and Lee Saehyeon himself was a beta. He was born a beta and had lived as a beta all along. He’d never particularly had the thought that he was aroused by ‘men.’
To be honest, it was more accurate to say he wasn’t very interested in sexual desire. Saehyeon, who from a young age couldn’t help but have exceptional competitive spirit, was the type to think it was more beneficial to read even one more character in that time.
“…”
It went without saying that Saehyeon was extremely negative about things like sexual desire and love. A momentary hormonal reaction, a fleeting impulse that would extinguish after burning briefly.
In contrast, things like money, occupation, and status had sufficient sustainability and could even be kept until death if done well, couldn’t they?
But what late-life madness or mania had possessed him to have such a thing happen with a beanpole-like alpha who was neither a woman nor an omega—especially ‘that’ Gil Taeseo—was impossible according to Saehyeon’s common sense.
The two absolutely could not have that kind of… relationship. Even though they attended a boarding high school and even lived together as roommates, that only endlessly provided opportunities for them to clash. The two didn’t match from one to ten.
Traits, family background, personality, even trivial parts like their sleeping environment.
‘Ah! Don’t leave the light on!’
‘If it bothers you, why don’t you stab your own eyes out? Then you won’t see anything, so why are you bitching at innocent me? What, should I stab them for you?’
Unlike Saehyeon, who needed the sleeping space to be pitch-black without a single light, Gil Taeseo was the type who needed at least a small light.
That terribly pretty and annoying face making a V with two fingers while smiling broadly and aiming at Saehyeon’s eyes was still vivid.
But me with a guy like that?
‘What the hell are you bitching about now?’
‘Just your very existence irritates me.’
Even though at first they were in a relationship where they hated even breathing the same air.
[For a trait so faint that it doesn’t manifest during the typical manifestation period to be stimulated and ignite, there must be continuous and intense pheromone exchange…]
…According to what he’d looked up on the internet, it clearly wouldn’t have been just once or twice either.
Saehyeon decided to seriously think about the feasibility. Unless being clothed was his preference, they’d probably do it completely naked. Then, they’d be on the bed overlapping while topless with belts undone and pants pulled down, completely nude.
Unlike other people whose skin naturally tanned from rolling around under the sun, Gil Taeseo was like a cold-blooded animal that remained unchangingly white and cold. He didn’t try to look, but thinking of times when his sweat-soaked T-shirt clung to his body or when he changed clothes, his body was clearly good.
An upper body glistening with sweat, hair stuck to his forehead, panting breaths, tongues entwining…
“…Urk.”
‘What, what kind of terrible imagination am I—’
Saehyeon covered his mouth and mercilessly smacked the back of his head. If only he could forget this damn memory from just now, he wanted to bang his head against the wall and pass out for a few days. And take the opportunity to escape reality while he was at it.
Banging his head against the wall, Saehyeon swam through confusion, self-loathing, and disbelief.
Complicated thoughts with no destination endlessly tangled, feeling like they were becoming a thread that was hard to find a way to unravel.
Suddenly, a hallucination of something white swaying before his eyes flickered. Crimson sunset light came through the large window filling the wall, dyeing the end of something pale.
“Daddy.”
Saehyeon, who’d been blankly glaring at the wall, snapped to attention. The child, who had woken up at some point, was staring up at him blankly.
Hair floating up like straw caught the sunlight squeezing through the window and shone golden. Morning seemed to have come.
“I’m hungry…”
The child rolled his big eyes and smiled. Following the corners of his mouth stretching wide with a “hehe” laugh, his plump cheeks rose roundly.
Saehyeon, who had been staring at that as if entranced, soon whipped his head around. Along with an awkward answer.
“Uh, u-uh.”
He’d woken up yesterday afternoon, and now it was the next morning. If the child hadn’t separately gotten something to eat, it was certainly time to be hungry.
‘Would the me from before losing my memory have made something?’
It was unknowable. The current Saehyeon was someone who had eaten home-style meals made by a housekeeper when young, then cafeteria food when older, and recently had been living off only school cafeteria food.
There was food he’d made during occasional event cooking classes and when he’d just started living alone. Except it was the kind of food that seemed like it would get the nickname “LV. 100 Slime of Wailing from Hell’s Flames.”
“Um… should we buy something to eat? What do you like?”
No matter how bad his personality, he couldn’t give it to a human, especially a blameless young child, to eat. Whether liking outside food was common to all ages and genders, the child immediately clapped saying it was good.
The thought crossed his mind that maybe it wasn’t that he liked outside food, but that anything was good as long as it wasn’t his cooking, but he decided to leave it in the realm of the unknown.
‘Even with the state of the house like this, I won’t starve for a while.’
He planned to eat first and then carefully think while planning what to do next.
Gathering his thin wallet and phone, Saehyeon awkwardly even held the child’s hand and went outside.
“Daddy, aren’t you eating?”
“Uh… I’m not hungry…”
They say even a wealthy family can last three generations after going bankrupt, but that must have been all lies. Or maybe there was a very small print addendum that said it didn’t apply to moderately well-off families.
His bank account balance at age 28 was astonishing. In a very negative and groundbreaking way.
‘Don’t tell me I shoved my entire fortune into Gangwon Land or online gambling in desperation?!’
Being shocked, all kinds of negative thoughts occurred to him, but fortunately that wasn’t it. The culprit behind everything was in hospital bills and living expenses.
When things like rent, water bills, and food expenses went “scooping away chunks of your bank balance~,” hospital bills would periodically appear pulling a excavator.
Perhaps his future self also thought it was a bit too much, as the hospital bill records gradually became sparse and had disappeared completely in recent months.
No matter how useless the medicine or treatment, it must have been better than nothing—to think that not long after stopping, he’d immediately forgotten even his memories like this. It was truly a spectacle.
“Wait a minute. Then wouldn’t it work to get treatment again?”
Saehyeon plopped down in the chair next to the child, who was munching on toast, and muttered with a serious face.
The goal was clear. Recover his health as much as possible to escape this terminal-illness-like appearance, and regain his lost memories. By doing so, ultimately returning this derailed life back to its original track would be the task.
Saehyeon deliberately turned away from the worst possibilities. Things like how medicine might not be enough when he recalled the part about the alpha partner written in the memo. Or that even if his body improved, his memories might not return. He didn’t want to make such worst-case assumptions in advance.
“Money. Money is the best after all. I need to make money.”
In Saehyeon’s philosophy, the more money the better, and the more successful the better. He also strongly agreed with the saying that if something seems impossible, you should look back at whether you have enough money to do it.
Something lukewarm touched Saehyeon’s mouth as he sat clasping his hands meaningfully like a famous detective in some mystery manga.
When Saehyeon flinched in surprise and looked down, the child with sauce all around his mouth was grinning.
“Daddy, you eat too! Let’s share!”
He felt like he was stealing toast from the child’s nose and mouth and tried to refuse stubbornly, but it was futile. Even pretending to bite him didn’t work. In the end, only after really stuffing a bite in his mouth could he pass the test.
I don’t think I’m that bad though. Isn’t it impressive to actually check whether there’s content in the mouth or not? He had extraordinary stubbornness—who on earth did he take after?
Saehyeon, who had thought that far, stopped. He also stopped chewing the sweet and salty toast rolling around in his mouth. He couldn’t believe the thought he’d just had. He must have really gone crazy. What was with all these useless, disgusting, unproductive thoughts?
“Anyway… I have to make a living.”
He couldn’t let the kid starve, could he?
What was fortunate was that he had one thing left to rely on. At this age, he must have already graduated from university.
After buying a few workbooks and watching free online lectures to grasp current entrance exam trends, it seemed good to look for tutoring or stick his head into an academy.
However, thinking about it now, he should have realized it sooner.
“Why am I… a high school graduate?”
That all the things Lee Saehyeon thought were solid lifelines to grab onto in his life were all rotten.
