The man sat in an extremely uncomfortable position beside the bed. It was because he’d roughly dragged over objects not meant for that purpose to sit on.
This house was a place he came to quite often. When he lay down with all the lights off in this house standing alone and isolated, it felt like lying in a coffin. The feeling of being quietly dead. The reason for his frequent visits was that this wasn’t such a bad thing.
One sofa in the living room, one bed in the bedroom. Aside from some toiletries and clothes in the bathroom and dressing room, it was completely empty, but he’d never felt uncomfortable. He’d long since given up on living like a human being. Sleeping very lightly, or spending the night with eyes wide open. It was only ever one or the other, so anything beyond a place to lay his body was an unnecessary luxury.
But now, it was quite amusing how his sentiments were changing. The only thing that had changed was the addition of one person here. Ah, and of course, that little brat squirming around on the living room sofa too.
“Tch.”
Gil Taeseo carelessly tossed aside the towel he’d been holding. The towel soaked in lukewarm water had cooled faster than expected. Since he couldn’t press something cold against that frail body, that thing was now as good as garbage.
His freed hand reached toward the person on the bed as if drawn by a magnet. His lightly touching fingertips gently brushed away the hair stuck to the forehead. Then the person on the bed immediately frowned even in their sleep.
“Mm…”
His personality showed in how he even turned his head away sharply. Gil Taeseo let out a hollow laugh as he looked at the hand that had been rejected in an instant. It was because what had happened in the parking lot suddenly came to mind.
“I was going to tie him up like a dog and lock him away so he couldn’t go anywhere.”
Honestly, the man had been half out of his mind at the time. Lee Saehyeon had been no different from a half-dead corpse, and could have truly died completely soon. His condition had been that unstable and treatment that urgent. But even in such a situation, Lee Saehyeon hadn’t come to him.
Why?
Gil Taeseo asked himself. He could find the answer to that question right away.
Well, because being involved with him was even more terrible than dying. There was no other answer.
It wasn’t incomprehensible. Hadn’t he committed nothing but dog-like acts? In the end, he’d made a person who was even carrying a child run away, so there was nothing more to say. It was his responsibility that the trait had been reversed and the body ruined.
In the place swept through by emotions like regret and self-blame, something else soon pushed its way up.
“…Were you really planning to just die?”
If they hadn’t met by chance in that filthy back alley. If he hadn’t confirmed the child’s existence and interrogated him. If Lee Saehyeon hadn’t gotten drunk and called him out.
If these coincidences hadn’t existed, Gil Taeseo might have only encountered Lee Saehyeon’s dead corpse. Indescribable emotions tore through his insides and left them in a mess.
Hadn’t he already become hideous while seeing nothing but rough and dirty things? Such an interior quickly generated only violent and terrible methods.
‘Rather than clutching a corpse and making a pitiful scene. Fuck. It’s right to be hated to death by a living person.’
Chewing on an unlit cigarette, Gil Taeseo was muttering like that.
It was a situation where he’d committed kidnapping and abduction. There was nothing worse he couldn’t do. He could have locked him away somewhere no one knew and endlessly raped him to forcibly keep him alive.
If Lee Saehyeon hadn’t incomprehensibly obediently walked in on his own. He might have really put it into action.
Even knowing how such ugly and blind desire ruins people and makes relationships rot and fall apart.
“Lee Saehyeon.”
Gil Taeseo lowered the hand that had been rejected from the forehead to beneath the nose. Faint but warm breath clung to his fingers. The hand that had properly pulled up the blanket that had slipped down while he tossed and turned slowly fell away.
But the owner of the body didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving this place. The man lowered his large body again onto the pile of things roughly stacked beside the bed.
“I can’t let you go anymore.”
No answer came back from the other person. But Gil Taeseo didn’t care. That had been the original intention anyway. As long as he could keep him alive and by his side, using any means necessary…
The man remained in that spot for a long time after that. Someone sleeping obliviously would probably never know.
***
Lee Saehyeon woke from sleep with a terrible sensation. Indescribable sensations were felt in every corner of his body. For example, the back area where something shouldn’t have entered.
The lingering sensation of something still being spread open with something inside mixed with stinging pain. Something that had been erect to the limit and throbbing flashed through Saehyeon’s mind. Since he’d been gouged out with something so vicious, it seemed he’d finally been torn after all.
“Ugh…”
He wanted to just lie on the bed like this without moving at all, but he couldn’t. It was because of the unpleasant feeling that came every time he shifted.
His back area seemed to be beyond his brain’s control. It kept churning and something kept pouring out. Between his thighs, semen—whose it was he couldn’t tell—had dried and stuck, making the skin pull roughly.
Eventually, Saehyeon, who had propped himself up with his arms to sit up, hesitated slightly. After hesitating like that, the spot next to him that he looked back at was completely empty. Saehyeon let out a hollow laugh as he quietly stared at the heavily wrinkled and wet sheets.
“…Ha. Right. Of course.”
It wasn’t something he didn’t know. It was also something he could have sufficiently expected. From the moment he threw his body to that inexplicable impulse and grabbed Gil Taeseo’s hand that was burning hot.
“It must have been a rut, after all.”
Saehyeon deliberately muttered like that as he got up. They weren’t in a relationship and there were no affectionate feelings either.
Gil Taeseo had simply been in heat, and he too had been drawn by an unidentifiable sexual impulse. Besides, he wasn’t even an omega but a beta male with a perfectly intact body.
There was also the possibility he’d run out in shock. If the person he’d spent his rut with was a beta male he’d fought with terribly, it would be natural to be horrified.
Saehyeon, who had gotten up, picked up the short-sleeved tee scattered around the bed like shed skin. He was going to wash up anyway, but it felt right to do so just for the sake of it.
Then he staggered toward the bathroom. Once he actually walked, he desperately needed a cane and walking aid that didn’t suit his age at all. He even fell a couple times in the middle, but somehow managed to overcome it with willpower. The fact that he half-crawled for a few steps was a secret.
When he splashed cold water on himself several times while almost leaning his body against the sink, his mind cleared right up. Saehyeon, who had raised his dripping face to look in the mirror, muttered blankly.
“Wow, this is fucked up.”
The appearance reflected in the mirror was truly a sight to behold. His face looked like someone who’d stayed up for three days and nights straight. …He’d learn later that this was actually correct. Who knew an alpha’s rut would be that terrible? He’d only heard about it, but it really was nothing short of an ordeal.
His nape and shoulders were covered with bite marks. Seeing the bruises mottled according to their shape, it seemed he wouldn’t even dream of wearing clothes that exposed his neck for a while.
“It’s not like he’s some fucking dog biting.”
Saehyeon’s gaze slowly moved downward. His chest, like his neck, was marked with what could be bite marks or congestion. His waist below that was slightly different in circumstances, but equally spectacular. Handprints were clearly stamped on both sides of his waist.
It was the body of someone who had clearly engaged in extremely obscene acts. Very hardcore at that. It even looked like a body deliberately staged that way to film a perverted movie or video. It meant it was covered that messily and thickly with lewd traces.
“Haaaaaah…”
Saehyeon just slid down and sat. The weight of the past nights belatedly came upon him.
An icon of chastity who hadn’t even properly masturbated. A so-called annoyingly wooden Buddha bastard who had mercilessly mocked peers of the same sex who were swayed by shitty instincts. For such a person’s first experience, wasn’t it very messy and accompanied by tremendous problems?
The partner wasn’t a woman but a male alpha, he wasn’t the one penetrating but was penetrated. And the subject was even that Gil Taeseo. His chest churned violently. In the end, he’d crossed the line. He’d never dreamed he’d pay the price like this for optimistically thinking it would be okay since it couldn’t possibly happen anyway.
“Fuck. How am I supposed to look at that bastard’s face from now on? You crazy son of a bitch…”
Saehyeon, who had been sitting there lamenting for a while, soon half-crawled into the bathtub. He had to wash off these shitty things first.
The moment ice-cold water poured onto his clammy body because he’d adjusted the temperature wrong. Saehyeon’s eyes snapped open.
“What… right now… cut…”
His dried, rough lips barely spat out fragments of words. This was what he’d originally meant to say. What do you mean what to do? I have to cut off that bastard’s dick right now!
If he’d carried that out then. Saehyeon might still be living life as a beta.
Though it was now just a meaningless hypothetical. Blinking slowly, Saehyeon realized he’d regained lost memories through a dream again. It had been a really shitty dream.
Saehyeon muttered curses several more times without hesitation. It was a situation that warranted cursing, and because he thought he was obviously alone in the room anyway.
“What are you trying to cut again as soon as you wake up?”
The words flew in unexpectedly. His bare shoulders flinched at the suddenness. His blinking eyes rolled. The well-featured face was caught in his slowly rolling vision right away. Because he was right nearby.
Like that, in such an unguarded state, Saehyeon had no choice but to face the habitual weapon carrier as soon as he opened his eyes.
