The convenience store where Saehyeon worked was a peculiar place. There were requirements for both the owner and the part-timer.
The conditions the owner set were simple. Be an Omega, you can be unfriendly but don’t create situations that would bring the police. The owner had repeatedly emphasized the second point. Whether it was because of a previous experience or doubt in his own temper was something only he would know.
That peculiar requirement was why Saehyeon, a Recessive Omega who looked obviously sickly and had nothing to his name, could receive quite a high hourly wage.
But what happened in the alley on the day Saehyeon reunited with Gil Taeseo—what he did to the customer who was now probably castrated—was a proper violation of the owner’s special guidelines.
From Saehyeon’s standpoint, it was a proper response, and looking at society as a whole, it was clearly beneficial, but still.
[You left something behind that day, right? The next shift’s part-timer said they closed the door for a bit to go to the bathroom and followed you.]
A look of dismay appeared on his pale face. It seemed the participants of the dawn’s heated physical pepper-cutting meeting were actually not three but four.
[I’ve treated you well until now, so I’ll put in everything up to this month’s salary, considering it a bonus. So, yeah? Let’s let this pass quietly.]
“Um, boss.”
[Anyway, don’t come in starting today.]
“I—”
Not a single word from this side got through. He couldn’t even bring it up. The boss hung up the phone after only saying his own words as if reciting predetermined lines. It was too harsh a treatment even though he wasn’t being chased by anything. He had nothing to say since he’d broken the requirements, but not being able to even make excuses.
Looking blankly down at the abruptly disconnected phone screen, Saehyeon thought. Could things really not work out this badly?
Saehyeon had been avoiding the situation of having to cling to Gil Taeseo for a while. There were a few premises that made that possible. That Gil Taeseo had no interest in this side, that he himself could somehow stubbornly endure alone, and so on. And those had disappeared far too easily these past few days. Everything felt like it was slowly driving Saehyeon to the edge of a cliff.
‘…Should I have just rammed into it quickly and ended it?’
Poor, moneyless, with a child attached, sickly, and an Omega clinging to an Alpha—that title. Now unemployed and jobless was about to be added to it.
It was when a deep sigh naturally deepened with his complicated feelings.
“Daddyyy. Why? What’s wrong?”
“Uh, uhuh.”
The child was looking at him with wide eyes as if worried. Even the mouth that had been chewing busily stopped for a moment.
Seeing those round eyes, Saehyeon forced his expression to relax. He didn’t want to show such complicated feelings to the child. To a child, parents were like the world itself, so they were bound to be greatly affected by those emotions and words.
“Ah… no. I’m going to play at home for a while.”
The child’s eyes widened at hearing the words ‘home’ and ‘play.’ Watching those eyes, Saehyeon hesitatingly continued.
“So today, until bedtime… shall we play together?”
“Yeah! Yeah! I’m so happy!”
The child swallowed their food and jumped up, waving their arms. It was a face that looked truly excited.
Saehyeon had a frenzied playtime with the child, even mobilizing the stamina he should have used at work. He didn’t go outside because he was bothered by Gil Taeseo mentioning the child. Still, surprisingly there were many games they could play at home. By the time the child started dozing off, exhausted from playing, Saehyeon had become like overboiled spinach.
He washed the sweaty child squeaky clean and laid them on the bedding. Saehyeon, who covered the child who fell fast asleep instantly with a blanket, also flopped down beside them. He was tired enough to yawn, but he didn’t regret it. Because he could see the flush and traces of laughter that hadn’t yet faded from the sleeping child’s face.
“Really is pretty, for real.”
It was the brightest appearance he’d seen since waking up as a 28-year-old. The child enjoyed it, but Saehyeon also had personal gains. When you’re too physically exhausted, stray thoughts don’t come. Being this tired, he’d surely fall fast asleep at night too.
Then when he woke up, he’d think about what’s next with a clear head.
But plausible plans like that never flow properly.
After taking a nap, waking up, eating, playing a bit more, and falling asleep completely oblivious to the world—next to that child, Saehyeon was spending the night with his eyes wide open. His bloodshot red eyes glared fiercely at the yellowed, faded ceiling.
The feeling of everything in the world driving him toward a single choice felt like shit. That he had no choice but to be swept up in it was honestly really frustrating. He was worried and felt at a loss too.
With his mind complicated, sleep wouldn’t come despite his fatigue. But it wasn’t like a solution that could eliminate the problems came to mind quickly either. Only time passed helplessly.
“Ah, shit.”
Eventually, Saehyeon, heated with frustration in his chest, kicked off the blanket and got up. He planned to drink cold water and compose himself.
If it were up to his feelings, he wanted to throw the blanket and pillow and scream satisfyingly like a marmot. It was trivial ferocity that would immediately tuck its tail in front of the angelically sleeping child.
Saehyeon, who gently folded the blanket and stood on tiptoes, headed to the kitchen. And poured the cold water taken from the refrigerator straight down his throat. Whether it was because cold water suddenly entered, his chest area tingled and his head felt all fuzzy.
“Whew.”
It was when he was turning around, letting out a deep sigh. The refrigerator stuck in Saehyeon’s eyes. As well as the few silver forms he’d seen when taking out water earlier.
‘In the refrigerator… there was beer.’
There was a day when things especially didn’t work out well and he felt depressed. The beer he’d impulsively purchased then, knowing he couldn’t afford it. Those three cans of beer were still sleeping peacefully in the refrigerator.
It was because he felt like he’d die from his body being hard even without drinking. Adding a hangover on top of that would be excessive foolishness.
“But I’m not going to work now anyway.”
To be precise, he couldn’t. Saehyeon stood in that spot for a moment, conflicted. But in the end, he grasped the cold and fateful solution in his hand.
Unlike the long deliberation, the process after was swift. Saehyeon, who roughly threw on clothes and carefully cradled the beer cans, stealthily left the house. Slowly when closing the door too. He didn’t forget to close it almost like a sloth.
He shuddered at the wind that blew just then. It was still weather where the chilly cold in the early morning hours pierced to the bone. Actually, no matter how much everything was collapsing, it was indoors with walls and a roof, so drinking at home would be most comfortable.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know that, but Saehyeon’s housemate was still a soft young child who seemed like milk scent would waft from them. His conscience was too pricked to guzzle away beside them.
Right in front of the single room where Saehyeon lived was an ambiguous something that might be a park or playground that had been neglected for a long time. The desolate vacant lot with only old, rusty facilities and broken fixtures remaining was clearly a deserted place with few people.
‘That’s good though.’
Saehyeon rather felt more comfortable in places like this. A place where he didn’t have to be conscious of others’ gazes and could just sprawl out unattractively was the best.
“Ha, life.”
Saehyeon, who plopped down on a bench, immediately grabbed the first beer can. His mind was rushed but his hands kept slipping. After struggling for a while until his fingertips swelled red and felt tingly, he could finally open it.
Foam immediately rose over the small opening. When he hurriedly attached his lips, something fluffy and bitter rushed into his mouth. Saehyeon, who gulped down a mouthful just like that, let out something that was either an exclamation or a sigh.
‘How many months has it been since alcohol?’
The last memory of drinking that Saehyeon remembered was at age 20. After suddenly dropping into a 28-year-old body with 20-year-old memories, Saehyeon had to be ceaselessly chased by this irrational reality. Things like alcohol were excessive luxuries. Both economically and physically.
Even now was close to recklessness. He had to find work starting tomorrow, and decide what to do going forward. There was a mountain of things to do. But the hand pouring alcohol down his throat didn’t stop.
It felt like he had to do this. Not just his body but his mental state seemed to be gradually reaching its limit too. And to be honest, it was also because he couldn’t accept the last solution remaining to him with a sober mind.
“It’s Gil Taeseo in the end.”
Saehyeon, who let out an incredulous laugh, gulped down another mouthful. He’d come out to try to run away from such thoughts a bit. And yet he was thinking about that bastard again.
“Ah, I just wish everything would resolve itself.”
It was a situation where an answer was completely invisible. Previously, tasks were given like midterm assignments where things somehow worked out if he just charged in with the resolve to die. His life wasn’t in danger and he could resolve things somehow.
Now it wasn’t like that, so it was frustrating and felt hopeless. So he came to wish for things like this. Things like just closing his eyes and opening them and everything proceeding on its own, with conclusions reached like magic.
“As if that would happen… ha, what a laughable thought.”
Saehyeon muttered that he was past the age to believe in fairy tale-like stories and tilted the can once more. And so Saehyeon, who was chugging beer and getting splendidly drunk, didn’t know.
That wish would come true quite accurately in essence.
“You bastaaard!”
“…This one’s completely gone. Who told you to drink alcohol like this?”
But that it would be realized in a form slightly different from what he wanted.
