After that, Ruvlian Belitent didn’t say much else. He just didn’t take his eyes off the collapsed Baek Sihyeon.
“Shall I call a physician?”
“No.”
His will not to entrust Baek Sihyeon to anyone’s hands was firm. In the silence, Alt, who had been reading the room for a moment, realized with the experience of rolling around under him for several years that this was the end of the reason he’d been called.
Roll roll. Roll roll. After rolling his eyeballs around a few times, as Alt expected, wrinkles formed on Belitent’s brow. Frowning made him look even more ferocious. It was both fascinating and chilling that such an elegant and aristocratic face could change that much.
“The sound of your eyeballs rolling is noisy, so get out.”
“Yes. Then I’ll take my leave.”
Alt, who couldn’t hide that he’d been waiting for those words, swiftly turned around. Then he stepped outside, killing the sound so that one wouldn’t even know the door had opened and closed softly. Only Ruvlian Belitent and the unconscious Baek Sihyeon remained in the large room.
A small, delicate face was reflected in the blue, deep, somewhat maddened eyes. Belitent reached out his hand and slowly rubbed Baek Sihyeon’s eye area with his thumb. Between the soft texture, he occasionally felt the prickliness of eyelashes.
Belitent suppressed the urge to forcibly lift the eyelids to see the eyes. He wished they would open quickly. Those eyes could hold contempt, anger, anything. First, he just wanted those eyes that held an unsuitably warm color to reflect him.
Conversely, he also wished they would stay closed like this forever. To think he loved another brat, another ‘Ruvlian.’ Why were there so many variables this time? Baek Sihyeon’s actions flashed through Belitent’s mind. They were things the sleeping person wouldn’t even remember.
The hand that had been touching the eye area descended. It passed by the cheek and the point it arrived at was the neck. The large hand gripped the white neck that wasn’t exactly slender. However, that hand absolutely couldn’t put in any strength. Ruvlian Belitent let out a hollow breath.
“I still can’t kill you.”
And you can’t kill me either.
In his slow speech was mixed an ambiguous emotion that seemed like both love and hatred.
Ruvlian Belitent withdrew his hand. And he stared as if engraving the still pale face into his eyes. Because he knew best that the only way to hold onto the thread of sanity that prevented his eyes from going mad was to endlessly confirm and repeat that Baek Sihyeon was alive.
For someone who had just been holding the neck, it was utterly contradictory, but when had humans ever been consistently the same? Ruvlian Belitent, like the four days when Baek Sihyeon’s sleep had unexpectedly lengthened, stared at Baek Sihyeon with closed eyes the entire time. As if he wouldn’t leave his spot until the eyelids lifted.
_oOo_
“Rian. Isn’t it boring? Won’t you run away with me, just the two of us?”
Ruvlian smiled with his eyes folding, leaning his back against the balcony railing. A crimson glow circled his fair cheeks and his red lips drew a refreshing line. In the cool blowing wind, his golden thread-like hair moved gently.
Under the dark night sky, he was particularly radiant. If he’d been floating in the sky, I surely would have mistaken him for a star. With a slightly dazed expression, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“Hm?”
The questioning that urged an answer held certainty as if knowing the future that we would go together. Ruvlian’s prediction wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t refuse his proposal. Rather, I was unknowingly placing my hand on top of the innocent hand that had been extended.
Having found the most radiant person in life, having found someone who gives kindness and affection infinitely, who pours out that sweet affection as if telling me to open my mouth and eat it all. What person could refuse such a person?
White, soft fingers filled in between each finger. They held a hot heat as if the chill of the dark night was nothing at all.
The moment our hands touched seamlessly, I opened my eyes. The surroundings were all bright. Through my half-opened eyes, I saw golden hair and blue eyes. I opened my mouth inadvertently.
“……Ruvlian.”
“Why are you calling me, honey?”
At the word ‘honey,’ my hazy vision became clear and my drowsy mind snapped awake. The person caught in my vision was the parallel world Ruvlian. Not the Ruvlian who had been pouring all his affection on me until just now.
……It was a dream. As realization came, I mocked myself at the same time. How much did I miss him that he appeared in a dream, a reflection of my unconscious? It was utterly ridiculous when I was supposed to persuade Ruvlian to send him back to his original world and live my own life.
That time was probably the day I acknowledged I liked Ruvlian. That’s why the memory was exceedingly clear. I remembered everything—the face then, the date, the temperature, the clothing. I probably wouldn’t forget even if I wanted to.
“If you called me, you should speak.”
At the hand tightly gripping my cheek, my head that had been recalling the past faced the present. The voice disguised as gentle revealed without filter that something was displeasing. Since he was quick-witted, I thought he might have realized that the owner of the name I called as soon as I woke up wasn’t him.
I didn’t budge my mouth at the words urging an answer. I thought about saying I didn’t call you, but he would already know that well.
When I stared at him with indifferent eyes, he let out laughter like a sigh. But that was by no means a good sign. The deep sea-like blue eyes took on a rough light, and more strength entered the hand gripping my cheek.
“Honey. Why aren’t you answering when you heard me? Hm?”
“Because I didn’t call you.”
He made me spit out the words after all. With a subtle face that seemed both pleased and displeased, he reduced the strength in his hand. Then he rolled his thumb in circles.
I wanted to swat away the hand touching my cheek as it pleased, but whether because of the dream I just had, strength wouldn’t enter my body. I didn’t feel like moving. I didn’t want to do anything. I escaped from his hand by covering myself with the blanket up to the top of my head. Then the bright surroundings instantly became much darker. Because the blanket was thin and light passed through to some degree, it had become relatively darker.
“Ugh. What are you doing?”
Weight suddenly settled as if something had climbed onto my stomach area. From the vibration and the round feeling, it seemed like he’d leaned his head against me.
“Well…… Sulking about you talking about that brat as soon as you woke up?”
It was absurd. Then was I supposed to talk about him right after waking up? One should wish for things worth wishing for. I recalled once again that the answer to nonsense was silence and didn’t respond. I, who had been at the left edge of the spacious bed, wriggled and moved to the right. The heavy head fell away from my stomach.
“While you were collapsed again, honey, you really seemed to want to be Sleeping Beauty, so I thought about killing the princess to get you that position. How cold-hearted.”
“Don’t do that kind of crazy shit.”
My spine went cold. It wasn’t like he’d gone more insane from being treated like a lunatic so much. He was spouting crazy talk in such an ordinary way.
“What’s wrong with a crazy bastard doing crazy things, honey? Even if I can’t pluck stars for you, I can pluck the neck of a royal or so.”
His gentle voice tickled my ear. Even with the barrier called a blanket, though thin, the feeling was like that.
“I don’t need stars or that princess position.”
I spoke as if chewing, putting particular emphasis on the word ‘princess.’
“Why? If you were a princess, I’m confident I could treat you properly as a princess.”
“Why don’t you use that uselessly well-spinning head here? Princess is a word used for women in the first place. A daughter born to the legitimate queen.”
“Honey, it’s not like I’m carrying around an empty skull as decoration like an idiot. Of course I know the meaning. But you suit being a princess better than a prince. The way your lips curl round and the sound is prettier.”
As the nonsense with not a shred of logic concluded, thud. Something touched my side. From the rustling sound, it seemed to be his head again. I thought about avoiding it but just left it.
Normally it would have been more than enough time to avoid this head and leave the room, but because I happened to have that dream, strength wouldn’t enter my body. That time was too brilliant. Because it was a period when being together was natural, because it was a period full of fun memories piled up with companions, because it contrasted too much with the current situation, I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to become air drifting in the void. I just wanted to float along as things flowed without will.
I’d practiced separation for years, and because I was quick to resign and give up, it was still okay when I was in the original world. Park Sichan, Lee Rihyung, and Kim Minsik were there too, they filled my side, so it was really okay. I couldn’t say there weren’t times when thoughts suddenly arose, but it was really okay.
But the problem was that Ruvlian suddenly thrust his face back into my life. If we hadn’t met again, I could have been much more okay, and I wouldn’t have become listless comparing reality with that time over a mere dream like this. It’s all because of Ruvlian. A lament like a complaint, rarely seen, came out involuntarily.
Why did he give affection to me, someone who would leave? Ruvlian really had no eye for people. If he was going to give it, he should have given it to someone in the same world, someone he could live with. Someone who could return that affection. Then we wouldn’t have suffered like this.
“You know, honey.”
The parallel world Ruvlian cut off my thoughts that were continuing in a chain. It was a subtle voice as if digging out secrets, but I could feel something seething inside. Despite being just the five syllables ‘you know, honey.’
“What did you see in that room? Why did you collapse?”
Ah. Only then did I remember that I’d fainted from the sound piercing through my head. Ruvlian appearing in my dream made me forget all the circumstances before and after. I collapsed and woke up, yet how could I not think of the previous situation? I was absurd at myself. I newly realized that Ruvlian was such a large existence to me, having such a great influence. His presence was certainly tremendous.
