# Chapter 91
Soon Geonwoo returned. Somehow knowing what Jaehee liked, he had prepared appetizing food and brought it in.
“I just made it so it’s hot.”
Geonwoo set the food down on the shelf. Then, with practiced ease, he took Jaehee in his arms and spoke softly.
“Let’s wait for it to cool down a bit before we eat.”
The imposing figure pressed against his back. Jaehee’s body shrank.
That’s when it happened. Jaehee’s pupils dilated. His entire body stiffened as if startled. It was because he felt a delicate sensation on the nape of his neck. The feeling of lips carefully touching his skin was transmitted clearly.
For a moment, as if time had stopped, the lips ceased to move. They remained lightly pressed against him, seemingly gauging Jaehee’s reaction. As if waiting for Jaehee’s tense body to relax.
But that didn’t last long.
“…!”
Geonwoo gently nuzzled the delicate skin.
Jaehee shuddered. He raised his arms to grab Geonwoo’s arm that was firmly holding his waist, trying to push it away and remove his hand. He shook his head violently, trying to escape the sensation from behind.
But soon Jaehee’s face contorted painfully. He had tried to escape from Geonwoo’s embrace, but the arm firmly holding his waist didn’t loosen at all. Like being tightly bound with rope, Jaehee had to fully accept this act in Geonwoo’s arms.
And this wasn’t the first time. Ever since being confined here, such acts had been repeatedly occurring.
Geonwoo gradually increased physical contact with Jaehee, as if giving him time to slowly accept this act without being surprised, and as if trying to adapt to this unfamiliar act himself. Very gradually, very slowly.
It was like… someone waiting for something. Geonwoo persistently repeated this act.
“Stop, please…!”
It hadn’t been like this from the beginning. Geonwoo, before manifesting as an Esper, would get embarrassed by even the slightest touch of fingertips and would back away at small contacts.
Even when Jaehee first opened his eyes in this place alone with Geonwoo, there was clearly hesitation in Geonwoo’s touch as he handled Jaehee. There was shyness, embarrassment, and hesitation about the unfamiliar sensation.
But day by day, that hesitation disappeared from his touch. As time passed, he became more persistent, digging deeper. At such times, Geonwoo was particularly merciless. He absolutely did not allow any rebellion or attempts to escape from him.
As if telling Jaehee to accept it, as if giving him time to adapt, very gradually, very slowly. But with clear intention, he held Jaehee in his arms and restrained him.
Such touches from Geonwoo were sometimes urgent, like someone being chased, and at other times slow, but they definitely increased the stages, as if making Jaehee recognize this act.
This could be seen in Geonwoo’s words too. At such times, Geonwoo would always whisper softly into Jaehee’s ear.
“You need to get used to it.”
Both of us. Come on.
As the contact increased day by day, Jaehee’s body became more and more sensitive. It became increasingly difficult to endure even the smallest touch. It felt as if a stifling heat was dominating his entire body and mind.
This confusion was intensified as memories from before the regression surfaced. It had never been like this before the regression. Geonwoo had always been gentle to him. He would only smile at Jaehee’s words and actions, treating him carefully as if afraid he might break if squeezed. He was someone who would immediately back off at even Jaehee’s smallest rejection. That’s why it was all the more bewildering.
Jaehee tried to bite his lower lip to avoid being dominated by the heat. He wanted to escape this sensation even a little bit.
But the thick finger entering his mouth didn’t allow it.
“Ugh!”
Geonwoo never stood by and watched Jaehee harm himself. He also didn’t tolerate Jaehee trying to escape from this sensation.
“Mm…!”
Jaehee bit Geonwoo’s finger with all his might. But it was useless. As if saying it was fine to bite as much as he wanted as long as he wasn’t hurting himself, Geonwoo merely explored Jaehee’s mouth.
So Jaehee had to fully endure this sensation without any pain. There was no way to avoid this heavy time that seemed endless.
His powerless, delicate body trembled violently. His heat-dominated mind gradually found it burdensome to even think about anything.
“Hh, uh…”
He felt like he was about to burst into tears. His head hung low, and tears fell.
“…Guide-nim.”
The hand holding him loosened. Only then could Jaehee barely escape. No, it would be more accurate to say that Geonwoo had let him go.
Geonwoo always backed off when Jaehee was having too hard a time. At moments when the body rejected sensations beyond its limit and struggled, he would stop the act as if saying that was enough for today. So that Jaehee wouldn’t suffer too much. And as if taming him slowly.
Jaehee escaped from the loosened arm and slipped out of Geonwoo’s embrace. He stood by the door, placing feet that could barely support him. His contorted eyes held tears. His frail body trembled as if in fear while looking at Geonwoo. And soon, Jaehee opened his mouth as if about to get angry at Geonwoo.
That’s when it happened.
“…!”
Jaehee’s trembling body lightly hit the shelf beside him. The glass on top of the shelf shook slightly. Geonwoo’s gaze briefly turned there before quickly returning to Jaehee. At the same time, the shaking glass stopped due to Geonwoo’s ability. But it happened so instantaneously that Jaehee didn’t see it.
A very trivial accident. A glass placed on the shelf. If it had fallen, it could have shattered and caused small cuts on Jaehee’s body. Just like the numerous wounds left on hyung’s body that he had seen in his dream.
Geonwoo was obsessed with Jaehee’s wounds. He refused to let the dream become reality.
But just like hyung in his dreams, strange things kept happening around Jaehee. Knowingly or unknowingly, little by little, as if someone didn’t want his happiness. As if cursing him to be unhappy. Geonwoo felt this while being with Jaehee.
‘I can… stop it.’
That’s right. He just had to protect him. Like his dream self, Geonwoo removed things that could harm Jaehee. In the process, Geonwoo’s nerves were burning black. Though he smiled in front of Jaehee, in his mind, hyung’s death was constantly repeating. As the dream was reenacted, he became more afraid of Jaehee’s numerous deaths.
“What would it take… for you to stop?”
Jaehee struggled to ask Geonwoo. What did he want from him, how long would he keep him confined here.
“Please, stop… now.”
Jaehee blurted out between sobs.
“Just stop… already!”
Emotions poured out like a dam breaking.
“I told you I didn’t want it, that I wouldn’t form a Bond… I told you clearly!”
Jaehee backed away seeing Geonwoo’s hand reaching for him. Though his body trembled violently, he glared at Geonwoo with anger.
“…”
Geonwoo quietly looked at such a Jaehee. Jaehee’s shoulders trembled more and more finely. Observing this, Geonwoo lowered the hand he had extended to Jaehee, watched for a while, and then suddenly made a small sound.
“…I also… did that.”
Jaehee looked at Geonwoo as if asking what he meant.
“I also, just like Guide-nim… said the same thing.”
Geonwoo said while maintaining his smiling face.
“I also… like Guide-nim, said I didn’t want it.”
But that bright smile gradually faded.
“I asked them to stop, saying I wouldn’t want anything…”
As if preventing his emotions from bursting out, Geonwoo exhaled deeply and slowly continued.
“…just let me stay by your side.”
The smile that had been on his lips was now completely gone.
“I also said that, Guide-nim.”
The smile in his eyes also became distorted.
“But Guide-nim…, you didn’t listen to any of it. You didn’t even try to listen.”
Facing the emotions he had been trying to avoid, it couldn’t be hidden even with a smile. The smile he had been wearing all this time shattered completely.
“You said you would be my Guide…”
Nevertheless, Geonwoo didn’t get angry. Even as emotions were surging, he just calmly continued speaking.
“…you even lied while trying to erase it.”
But the emotion in his words was different. He was saying that he was hurt too.
“Do you know how much I…”
Emotions flowed out quietly.
“How much… happiness that gave me?”
Geonwoo painfully spilled his inner feelings.
“Do you know how… miserable I was when I heard it was a lie?”
He quietly revealed his pain.
“Yet… you didn’t stop.”
Geonwoo said while meeting Jaehee’s eyes.
“Not even once, you never… listened to me.”
He said this while looking at the trembling eyes. For the first time since coming here, Geonwoo fully revealed his emotions. He showed his wounds that he had been covering with a smile.
“That’s…”
Jaehee’s lips trembled. Words he couldn’t utter gathered at his lips.
His lips hesitated, not knowing what to say. But Geonwoo didn’t wait for it. He didn’t want to be deceived by Jaehee anymore. He didn’t want to get hurt. He didn’t want to… lose him.
“So… I won’t listen either.”
Just like Guide-nim did.
“I’ll also do what I want.”
Geonwoo declared that he would do as he wished. He announced that he would fully form a Bond.
But contrary to Jaehee’s thinking, the Bond that Geonwoo desired was not the Bond between a Guide and an Esper. The Bond between an Alpha and an Omega. It was more solid than the Bond between an Esper and a Guide because it meant sharing a lifetime together.
But he didn’t talk about that. Even now, Jaehee was trembling and trying to escape. That’s why he was just waiting for Jaehee’s manifestation, which he still hadn’t recognized himself.
“Guide-nim.”
Geonwoo rose from the bed. Seeing this, Jaehee backed away.
“It should be cool enough now.”
Geonwoo turned his gaze to look at the shelf. Then, collecting his emotions, he approached Jaehee.
“First, let’s eat this.”
Being trapped in Geonwoo’s arms again happened in an instant. Geonwoo brought Jaehee back, trapped him in his arms, and made him open his mouth. Despite Jaehee’s refusal to eat, Geonwoo continued to feed him. Until the meal was over, Geonwoo persistently didn’t take his eyes off Jaehee.
In such a tense atmosphere, the meal ended with difficulty. Geonwoo, who had cleared away the dishes, put his hands on Jaehee’s clothes. It was a very natural movement. Jaehee hurriedly grabbed Geonwoo’s hands. But the buttons were unfastened one by one with ease, making such resistance look futile.
“Guide-nim… used to undress me like this.”
Geonwoo recalled Jaehee unbuttoning his clothes to perform Contact Guiding to remove the one-sided Bond, and spoke.
“Now, I’m doing it.”
Soon all the buttons were undone. Jaehee’s body was exposed. Geonwoo’s hands touched the white skin. Jaehee could be felt flinching at the cold touch.
Subduing the resisting body, Geonwoo stroked the skin with his fingertips and embraced the back. He caressed Jaehee’s back with his fingertips. There was no sensation to be felt. There were no wounds at all. Unlike hyung in his dreams, the back he touched was clean. That was a relief. The past was definitely different.
Geonwoo needed to keep checking like this to feel reassured.
And he was relieved by the fact that his past self and Jaehee had not met. There was a time when he envied his dream self who had been with hyung, but not anymore. Back then, when he was young, when he had no power. If Jaehee, like hyung, had been by his side then, he wouldn’t have been able to protect Jaehee like his dream self did.
In his lonely childhood, Geonwoo felt that the time without Jaehee was fortunate.
