# Chapter 52
Mother was different from the children.
It seemed like hyung had shown her something, making her acknowledge that he was a Guide, but she dismissed everything hyung said as ‘ignorance’ because he was young.
“Espers are dangerous beings.”
That’s what Mother said. Geonwoo heard those final words and turned away. He could still hear hyung and Mother talking behind him, but he felt he shouldn’t listen anymore.
Geonwoo went back to the bathroom. He filled the sink with water, put his finger in and swirled it around, waiting for time to pass.
Then, there was another thump!
Geonwoo went out of the bathroom again. As he looked around, his eyes turned toward the entrance. But hyung’s shoes that had been there were gone.
‘Did he leave because he was busy?’
Or…
‘Did Mother send him away?’
Geonwoo couldn’t know for sure. He just felt a little down because hyung had visited home for the first time, but he hadn’t done anything for him. His small shoulders drooped lifelessly.
“Geonwoo.”
Just then, he heard Mother’s voice from behind. Her tensed tone was stiff.
“Come eat dinner.”
Mother slightly lifted the corners of her lips and awkwardly smiled, gesturing toward the kitchen.
Geonwoo smiled back at Mother. But it felt strange. He couldn’t remember how to smile.
‘How did I usually smile?’
Geonwoo lifted both corners of his lips. He didn’t know how to crease his eyes, so he just left them as they were.
“Yes, Mother.”
As he was about to go, he noticed a small piece of paper by the shoe rack.
[Make sure to apply the medicine]
It was a note left by hyung.
Geonwoo’s stiff eyes immediately softened when he saw it. He took the note hyung had left and went up to the second floor to his room. He put hyung’s note in his treasure box at the edge of his desk. Inside were hyung’s notes, small things hyung had given him, and one completely withered flower.
Geonwoo closed the lid and went back downstairs. When he entered the kitchen where dinner was set, the table was filled with delicious rice and side dishes.
Geonwoo ate his meal at the silent table where he sat alone. There was plenty of delicious food, but strangely, he couldn’t really taste anything. Only the snacks he had eaten with hyung kept floating around in his mind. Even though he normally didn’t eat well, anything he ate with hyung tasted delicious.
‘Hyung, I miss you already.’
That was all Geonwoo could think about as he ate.
***
“Guide-nim?”
Geonwoo, sitting on the bed, glanced up and called to the person in front of him. Jaehee was sitting in front of Geonwoo, looking at Geonwoo’s wave readings on the frequency measurement machine. He was holding a pad in one hand, which also displayed Geonwoo’s detailed information.
“Are we… going to stay in this position?”
Geonwoo asked hesitantly. He couldn’t get used to having his body pressed against Jaehee’s. It clearly required a long adjustment period. But Jaehee wasn’t going to wait for that.
“You need Guiding for your physical condition to improve quickly.”
Jaehee was right. Geonwoo’s recovery, which had been so slow before, noticeably accelerated once he found psychological stability and received Guiding. His condition was improving day by day. This made the current period all the more crucial.
But when Geonwoo kept trying to maintain a tiny distance and avoid pressing his body against him, Jaehee took drastic measures. That resulted in their current position. Jaehee had seated Geonwoo and then leaned in front of him to prevent Geonwoo from creating even that slight distance. Geonwoo couldn’t pull away because if he did, Jaehee might topple backward. Geonwoo felt like he was being subjected to a new form of torture. A torture that was both pleasant and embarrassing.
Having failed to escape this sweet torture, Geonwoo asked something else instead.
“Guide-nim.”
Jaehee turned his head at Geonwoo’s call. Their faces were so close that Geonwoo hesitantly asked his question.
“When you were young…”
Jaehee silently waited for Geonwoo to continue.
“What was it like?”
“When I was young?”
“Yes. I’m curious about what Guide-nim was like when you were young…”
Geonwoo recalled the dream he had the night before. Hyung was amazing. Unlike other children, after failing to convince Mother, he came to the house countless times after that.
When Mother wouldn’t listen to a child’s words, hyung even brought an adult Guide to try to convince her. Then Geonwoo saw him getting scolded by that adult Guide for sneaking out of the Center.
“Just ordinary.”
Geonwoo focused on Jaehee’s words. Jaehee answered his question sincerely.
“I entered the Center when I was 13, and I had one friend my age, so I spent time with that friend.”
To enter the Center, one had to be either an Esper experiencing manifestation pain or a Guide who had completed manifestation. Entering the Center at 13 meant he had manifested by then. Like the hyung in his dream, Jaehee was also a Guide at 13.
“Then did you ever leave the Center when you were young?”
“No, I only stayed at the Center. Ability users need to report to higher-ups and get approval to leave. Some people do sneak out, but I just stayed at the Center. I was too young to even consider breaking through that strict security.”
Geonwoo nodded slightly at those words. So dreams really are just dreams? As Geonwoo was thinking this, Jaehee suddenly asked a question.
“What about Esper Choi Geonwoo?”
“Yes, ah! What?”
Seeing Geonwoo’s surprise, Jaehee asked again.
“What were you like when you were young?”
“Me, when I was young?”
At that question, Geonwoo’s eyes suddenly sank. What Jaehee was asking about wasn’t the past from his dreams but his actual past. Geonwoo recalled his own experiences.
“I was… just ordinary too.”
“Really?”
Jaehee smiled.
But his expression hardened at what Geonwoo said next.
“Because I was an Esper, I was always alone.”
“Always… alone?”
“Yes. Isn’t that how it usually is for kids diagnosed as Espers? That’s how it was for me. I was similar to other Espers.”
Monster, time bomb, a dangerous being who could manifest abilities at any moment and devastate the surroundings.
Cases like Geonwoo, who was diagnosed as an Esper at a young age, were rare, so he just experienced that environment a little earlier than others. That’s why such painful words followed Geonwoo around like descriptors throughout his childhood.
“Also, my father died when I was young in an Esper rampage accident. So I was always alone at home too. My mother witnessed the accident directly, so she hated Espers even more.”
Geonwoo’s tone was flat as he said this. It was as if he had been hurt so much and exposed to such an environment for so long that it felt natural to him.
“It was the same with friends. Since their parents told them not to play with me because it was dangerous, no kids came near me.”
Geonwoo recalled the past, listing one by one the stories of his childhood. Then he looked at Jaehee, who was listening quietly. Jaehee’s expression wasn’t good.
‘Ah… Did I talk about something too depressing?’
It was mundane for Geonwoo, but it might not be the same for Jaehee. After all, the attitudes of ordinary people toward Guides and Espers were completely opposite.
So Geonwoo tried to put on a bright expression. He wanted to smooth out Jaehee’s furrowed brow.
“But it’s okay. When I got a bit older, it wasn’t like that anymore.”
“What was it… like then?”
At Jaehee’s question, Geonwoo brought his face closer to Jaehee’s. Then he smiled more radiantly, crinkling his eyes.
“When I smiled like this, everyone treated me kindly.”
Geonwoo showed his maximum fatal charm. But inside, he was extremely nervous. It had failed last time. He worried that Jaehee might not react again, just like before.
“…Is that so?”
But could Jaehee see right through him? After seeing Geonwoo’s expression, Jaehee’s eyes widened slightly, and soon he smiled back, mirroring Geonwoo’s expression. As if tracing Geonwoo’s smile onto his own face, Jaehee also smiled brightly.
“I’m glad it wasn’t like that when you got older.”
Jaehee said in such an affectionate tone.
This time, it was Geonwoo’s expression that froze. The fatal charm wasn’t used by Geonwoo alone. Otherwise, his heart wouldn’t be beating like this. Jaehee’s smiling face wasn’t good for his heart. Geonwoo averted his eyes slightly. He lowered his gaze. Then he could see Jaehee’s snow-white skin.
“…”
Geonwoo raised his gaze again. It felt like being hit by a two-hit combo. But the funny thing was, if he just kept staring at the ceiling, he would start wanting to see Jaehee. When he didn’t look at him, he felt this regret. So his gaze sneakily slid down again, looking for Jaehee.
And this sequence of actions repeated endlessly. Looking at Jaehee and liking it, his face turning red, somehow feeling uncomfortable sitting together, then looking at the ceiling again.
Geonwoo’s gaze moved that busily.
After watching Geonwoo for a while, Jaehee turned his gaze forward again and scanned Geonwoo’s information displayed on the pad. It showed Geonwoo’s growth rate, wave stability, and other overall data about Geonwoo.
But Jaehee, looking at it, couldn’t focus on the screen. A strange feeling settled in Jaehee’s eyes.
‘It’s different…’
It was definitely different. Geonwoo’s past that he had heard before the regression and Geonwoo’s past now were completely different.
