# Chapter 33
Moreover, guiding energy is directly connected to a Guide’s life. That’s why they are endlessly cautious when using it, but Jaehee wasn’t. To maximize the healing ability, he poured guiding energy to the limit, ignoring his matching rate with Taeyun, which was scraping the bottom.
All for Choi Geonwoo’s treatment.
Taeyun couldn’t understand it. Why on earth? For what purpose? So Taeyun waited for Jaehee to speak.
After a long silence, Jaehee lowered his head weakly and spoke as if making a confession.
“It’s because of me.”
Jaehee spoke with his shoulders thoroughly hunched. To Taeyun’s Esper eyes, Jaehee looked infinitely small in that state.
“I poured guiding energy into Esper Choi Geonwoo… that’s why he ended up like this…”
As if in agony, Jaehee continued speaking with difficulty.
“If I hadn’t poured guiding energy then, this wouldn’t have happened…”
Jaehee distorted his eyes mercilessly, as if full of regret.
“If Esper Choi Geonwoo ends up dying like this… I… I… will find it hard to erase that guilt.”
Seeing Jaehee struggling with self-blame, Taeyun’s face was filled with endless pity.
Did he have such mental anguish, and was that why he worked so hard by Geonwoo’s side? Taeyun wondered if he should pat those pitiful small shoulders. The Jaehee before his eyes seemed so crushed by the immense weight of responsibility that Taeyun thought about what would make him appear more natural in this situation.
But contrary to his outward appearance that tacitly showed agreement, Taeyun’s thoughts were completely different from Jaehee’s.
‘No. Lee Jaehee, even if you hadn’t poured guiding energy into Geonwoo, the result would have been the same.’
Even if Jaehee hadn’t performed guiding, the higher-ups would have surely done the same using another guide’s guiding.
They were people who had done such absurd things with an unmanifested Esper. Would such people leave alone an Esper with top-tier potential, the first to appear since Kang Dohyun, just because Jaehee didn’t pour guiding energy? No, that would never happen.
Jaehee had simply been targeted because he was a top-class Guide.
Moreover, what if Geonwoo had formed a bond with a Guide other than an S-class one? It was obvious that an even more terrible situation would have occurred. If he had formed a bond with a lower-ranked Guide, the guiding rejection wouldn’t have been as severe as it is now.
‘Then he would have likely already fallen into the higher-ups’ hands.’
But Jaehee was blaming himself for everything the higher-ups had done, just because he was the starting point. All while excluding the true villains everyone was unanimously pointing to.
But Taeyun didn’t voice these thoughts. He simply remained silent, allowing guilt to torment Jaehee’s heart. All while pretending to offer endless comfort through his expression.
However, upon hearing Jaehee’s next words, Taeyun’s expression subtly changed.
“Everything I’m doing now is… because of that. I hope Esper Choi Geonwoo doesn’t… die…”
He hopes he doesn’t die?
The expression of Taeyun, who had been acting full of sympathy, momentarily changed subtly. The false mask he wore on his face began to crack slightly. A layer of his composure was also stripped away. That’s how much Jaehee’s current words bothered him.
‘How should I interpret those words.’
After mulling over Jaehee’s words, Taeyun finally couldn’t hold back and opened his mouth.
“Don’t tell me you want to maintain the one-way bond as it is?”
The question came out a bit strongly without him realizing.
But for Jaehee to save Geonwoo, maintaining the bond was the only way. That would be the only method Jaehee knew.
So Taeyun became sensitive. He focused on what Jaehee would say.
“No, the bond must be erased. By any means necessary…”
Fortunately, words of denial flowed from Jaehee’s mouth. Even his expression looked resolute, as if his will to erase the bond was firm.
But soon, Jaehee’s expression changed. His resolute expression gradually crumbled, and anxiety and unease filled his face. Jaehee dropped his head weakly. He continued with an uncertain voice.
“But… I don’t know how…”
Jaehee looked tormented. It was palpable that he was wandering, not knowing what to do. Though his face couldn’t be seen because he had his head down, it was obvious that his eyes would be trembling mercilessly.
“So you want to erase the bond while ensuring Esper Choi Geonwoo doesn’t die in the process.”
Taeyun threw the words out. Seeing Jaehee in agony, Taeyun was rather relieved. The conversation was flowing in the direction he most wanted. Jaehee’s appearance of trying to take responsibility for Geonwoo due to responsibility and guilt was exactly what he had hoped for.
But separate from the satisfaction that things were going as planned, Taeyun’s eyes grew cold. Since Jaehee had his head down, Taeyun removed the mask he’d been forcibly wearing on his face. He revealed his raw emotions on his face.
His gaze toward Jaehee was full of contempt and disgust.
He couldn’t help it. Taeyun had seen too many Guides who had caused one-way bonds. What did they do in the end? As if they had all made a promise, every single one of them abandoned their Esper. Seeing Espers who broke the bond themselves due to unbearable pain, they all chose that option so easily.
‘Responsibility? Guilt?’
It was rather impressive that Jaehee felt those emotions.
But even so, Taeyun didn’t have any expectations for Jaehee. He knew Guides who had acted like Jaehee.
The only Guide who made a different choice from other Guides. He, like Jaehee, struggled with responsibility and tried to help the Esper with whom he had formed a one-way bond. Like Jaehee, he sought help from everyone and stayed by the Esper’s side.
But what did he do?
After a certain point was crossed, he eventually acted the same as others. No, rather, he was even more malicious. Receiving people’s glances of ‘you’ve done enough,’ he created absolution for himself. Receiving people’s concerns, he forgave himself. He erased his guilt.
He did so even though the one-way bond remained intact. Even he, who had shyly whispered words of love and promised to take responsibility, eventually abandoned the Esper.
But.
‘Lee Jaehee. What would be different about you?’
It couldn’t be different. Taeyun had never seen a Guide who acted differently. In the end, Jaehee would be the same.
‘He’ll follow the same path as that person.’
And all that remained for the abandoned Esper was tragedy. The more a Guide tried to take responsibility, the more the Esper’s hope would grow endlessly, and after being abandoned, they would be engulfed by an unbearable sense of betrayal.
‘How pitiful…’
Taeyun shifted his gaze toward Geonwoo. His eyes filled with both pity and frustration. Looking at Geonwoo, irritation rose, and a great compassion surged. Geonwoo looked infinitely pitiful and also infinitely pathetic.
‘What on earth is a one-way bond…’
Was he holding onto the bond while putting his own life on the back burner?
While he disliked Espers who endured pain to protect their bonds, Choi Geonwoo was even worse. He casually put his own life on the line. It was to the point where Taeyun wondered, ‘Is this really a one-way bond?’
That’s how abnormal Geonwoo’s behavior was.
The emotion that a one-way bond, with its ‘I want to possess that Guide,’ evokes is a shallow possessiveness. The reason most Espers so easily break the bond due to pain, and the reason they are sensitive to their own pain but insensitive to hurting the Guide to possess them, is all because of that. Because the emotions are so shallow, all priorities become the Esper themselves.
But Choi Geonwoo was different. His priorities were different.
‘Was there some relationship between them that I don’t know about?’
That couldn’t be. From what he had heard, Choi Geonwoo and Lee Jaehee had no connection. They weren’t the kind of relationship where emotions strong enough to sacrifice one’s body would develop.
Even that Esper who was ultimately abandoned by the Guide who acted like Jaehee didn’t do what Geonwoo did. Even though he had formed a one-way bond with the Guide he loved so much, he valued his own life more than the Guide.
All he did was endure the pain to the level he could withstand. That was it. He just endured a little longer than other Espers. That was the limit of his feelings toward the Guide. It was that way even though it was a long-standing love.
That’s why it was even more incomprehensible. It was difficult to understand the behavior Choi Geonwoo was showing.
And Taeyun didn’t want to understand it either. He didn’t want to see an Esper who would eventually be abandoned. Taeyun just wanted to escape from this unpleasant situation as soon as possible.
Otherwise, he felt like he might ruin everything due to this deep unpleasantness.
