# Chapter 19
The brightly smiling Geonwoo who had been looking at Jaehee disappeared, and like someone who had lost all happiness, like a child about to be abandoned… his eyes were filled with anxiety.
Jaehee gritted his teeth. It was painful to watch.
But their eyes met, and Geonwoo’s lips moved slightly as he looked at Jaehee. His lips were saying,
‘Guide-nim.’
‘Guide-nim.’
‘Guide-nim.’
He kept calling only for Jaehee.
Geonwoo… Jaehee felt his expression about to crumble. It was difficult to maintain his composure at the sight of Geonwoo calling for him. So he averted his gaze. He turned away from Geonwoo. Only then could he paint a cold expression on his face. He gritted his teeth and barely managed to do so.
‘…Guide-nim.’
Jaehee’s efforts shattered Geonwoo’s happiness. It made him accept his anxiety as reality. Geonwoo’s face contorted. The corners of his lips drooped weakly.
Like his heart had become mere paper, being torn to shreds… his heart hurt so much. That pain was incomparable to the physical suffering. He felt it would be better to have his body torn apart instead.
That’s why Geonwoo couldn’t let Jaehee go.
Because if he did, he truly felt like he would die from this pain.
‘Why… why are you trying to erase the mark… I’ve been waiting for you all this time… Guide-nim. You’re my Guide, my Guide… I don’t want this. How did we even meet… how long I’ve waited for you… how much I’ve missed you all this time…’
Finally, tears welled up in Geonwoo’s eyes.
‘Is it because it’s a one-sided mark? Then we can make it mutual. You can become my Guide…’
The corners of Geonwoo’s lips trembled. He looked like he would burst into tears at any moment.
“…Ah…”
Geonwoo’s lips parted and a weak sound escaped. Geonwoo strained his throat, trying desperately to force out sounds that wouldn’t come.
“…Ah… Ga…”
But proper sounds wouldn’t form. This frustration made Geonwoo almost frantic with impatience. He needed to hold onto him but his body wouldn’t move as he wanted. He needed to speak to him, but his voice wouldn’t come out.
‘…I don’t want to break the mark. Don’t do this… don’t abandon me…’
The tears that had pooled finally fell. Tears flowed continuously from Geonwoo’s eyes without stopping. Geonwoo didn’t know what to do. No matter how hard he tried, there was nothing he could do. That reality hurt Geonwoo even more.
More than the physical pain, the fact that he was being abandoned by his Guide drove Geonwoo to the edge. This wasn’t something he could endure like he had up until now. There was no way he could endure it.
The immense pain eventually caused Geonwoo to retreat inward like an injured young animal. Geonwoo completely closed off all his senses. He didn’t want to accept anything. He didn’t want to hear anything.
So he did the only thing he could.
Complete Guiding rejection.
That was all he had. The only way to avoid being abandoned by him… for Geonwoo, that was all he had.
As all his senses closed, Geonwoo’s wave readings shot up frighteningly. Along with the numbers rising at an alarming rate, warning alarms sounded terrifyingly loud.
Jaehee, who had been continuously monitoring Geonwoo’s readings, realized what this meant. Complete Guiding rejection. In this state, it was dangerous.
So what should he do? Should he try to coax him gently? Should he cajole and persuade him to accept even a little more Guiding, doing as he wished?
‘As I wish… could I worry about you and embrace you like that? Would that… be allowed?’
Sadly, the answer was already determined.
‘…No. I can’t do that. I… cannot do that…’
Because he wasn’t the main Guide, because he was the villainous secondary Guide who once took away Geonwoo’s future, he couldn’t do it. All Jaehee could do was continue as he was now. Speaking harshly, acting coldly. Pushing him away to prevent him from coming closer. That was all Jaehee could do, and the only thing he absolutely had to do.
Jaehee’s desire to embrace Geonwoo didn’t matter at all. It was a useless, unnecessary emotion. For Jaehee, it had to be dismissed as a trivial feeling to be ignored. For the mark to be broken and for him to be remembered as the villainous secondary Guide to Geonwoo.
So Jaehee, wearing a mask contrary to his true feelings, said to Geonwoo:
“It hurts, doesn’t it? Sad and angry. After waiting so long, being told to erase the mark.”
He could see Geonwoo’s face crumpling with emotion. Endless tears soaked both of Geonwoo’s cheeks. The sight of him crying so miserably, his body shaking, was so pitiful. It was so heartrending that Jaehee wanted to throw off the mask of the villainous secondary Guide and cry with him.
Jaehee found Geonwoo pitiful, and himself pitiful. Their situation, everything… was just sad.
Afraid of collapsing from sorrow, Jaehee forced out a cold voice. But the resonance in his heart also escaped.
“But that’s a false emotion. It’s like an illusion created by a one-sided mark. It’s different from a mutual mark. Once the mark is erased, it will all disappear. You’ll forget as if it never happened.”
So don’t struggle. Don’t try to protect it. Just erase it all completely and be happy, Geonwoo.
“When the mark is erased.”
I’m sorry for forcing my Guiding on you… sorry for hurting you… sorry for wounding you…
“Just as Esper Choi Geonwoo means nothing to me.”
You’re too precious… because you’re too precious, I didn’t realize this was another chance, and I was about to ruin you again…
“For Esper Choi Geonwoo as well.”
I’ll fix everything. I’ll restore everything according to the original story.
“I will become nothing to you.”
So please, do that. Forget someone like me, don’t remember anything.
Just be happy, Geonwoo.
Contradictory words crossed. Cold words flowed out, while the hurt and unsightly feelings were hidden and concealed, pooling within Jaehee.
But Geonwoo didn’t know this. Because Jaehee tried so hard not to show that pain. So as Jaehee’s words continued, Geonwoo’s face could only grow paler. Taking the sounds at face value, Geonwoo believed Jaehee was denying his feelings. Saying they were all fake. That they were emotions created because of the mark.
That you’re not important to me at all.
‘How can that… be…’
Geonwoo couldn’t accept it. All fake? Yes, Jaehee might be right. But for Geonwoo, these feelings were precious. They were the only sanctuary that had helped him endure this pain until now. For him, they were real.
‘But you say it’s fake? Because it will all be forgotten and disappear when the mark is erased, we should erase it?’
Then why…
‘Why… did you mark me? Why did you make me only look at you? Why did you make me like this… and then try to abandon me?’
Uncontrollable grief washed over him.
‘…I don’t want to break the mark. I won’t ask for anything. It’s okay if I’m nothing to you. Just… can’t these feelings be real for me alone? Why are you trying to make them fake? To me… this is real. I want to keep these feelings as they are. I don’t want to erase this bond connecting me to Guide-nim…’
A deep emotion permeated. He wanted to be by Jaehee’s side. It was a desperate desire to the point of being heartrending.
‘Don’t erase it… please… don’t erase it…’
A pleading heart, and Jaehee who wouldn’t respond to it. With this, Geonwoo’s emotions crumbled away. The current reality intensified his sadness.
‘Why… why haven’t I manifested yet? If I wasn’t in an undeveloped state but had manifested as an Esper, things would have been different. I wouldn’t have to be anxiously surrounded by Guides, worried about the mark being erased.’
But Geonwoo had no power. He was so feeble that even slightly shaking his head was difficult, that he could do nothing except close his senses.
‘What if I can’t endure the pain and… my senses open on their own?’
Because Jaehee’s Guiding energy filled the room, Geonwoo couldn’t be certain. Because his body desperately yearned for Jaehee’s Guiding.
So Geonwoo just let his tears fall weakly and begged over and over. For Jaehee to change his mind. Please turn his heart around.
Finding it difficult to watch Geonwoo like this, Jaehee turned his head again. He closed his eyes and bit the tender flesh inside his mouth painfully. To regain his senses through pain.
‘I’m the villainous secondary Guide, Lee Jaehee…’
I mustn’t forget. So, don’t collapse.
Only after the faint scent of blood circled inside his mouth could Jaehee barely maintain his expression. In that state, Jaehee turned his gaze to look at the Guide he had seen earlier. He could feel Geonwoo’s gaze following him as well. But contrary to Geonwoo’s thoughts, what Jaehee was looking at wasn’t the Guide. More precisely, it was the bracelet he was holding.
Just before, the Guide’s ability control device that was removed to perform radiant Guiding and then dropped. Seeing it roll onto the floor with a small sound, Jaehee found a solution.
‘With that… it might be possible.’
What Geonwoo needed now was something stronger than radiant Guiding. Something primal that he would instinctively accept before his will could reject it.
There was only one such thing.
‘Contact Guiding.’
