Chapter 6
“…”
“Every time I do this, you…”
Feeling like I was in serious danger if this continued, I shook my head violently. Hajin pulled his lips away and looked down at me. Meeting his eyes, I felt like prey about to be devoured, so I quickly changed the subject.
“Um, by the way. Did I like meat before?”
Who doesn’t like meat? Everyone likes it. It was a question with an obvious answer, but I had to ask something—anything—to redirect the conversation.
Hajin calmed his ragged breathing, pulled back, and looked at me with disbelief.
“There’s no way you’d suddenly be curious about that.”
“No, I’m really curious! Since I’ve lost my memories, wouldn’t I want to know even the smallest details? Haha.”
Even I thought it sounded ridiculous. Hajin let out a dry laugh.
“Well, I know you’re just being crafty to avoid physical contact, but I’ll let it slide. Diverting the conversation is better than you cursing or hitting me.”
I smiled back at him as he grinned knowingly.
“Yes. But I really am curious if I liked meat.”
“Fine, you did. You liked it but couldn’t eat much because of your occu—”
Hajin cut himself off abruptly, but I knew what came next. Probably “occupation” or “model.” He’d stopped himself—not because he didn’t want to reveal my job, but because he was afraid mentioning “model” might trigger me to start demanding to walk the runway again. I waited eagerly for what he’d say instead.
“Your family was poor, so you couldn’t afford expensive meat.”
He smoothly dodged the crisis with a similar-sounding explanation. Hajin was definitely sharper than Hahyun.
“Our Juwon… is too thin.”
Hajin stroked my side as if trying to seem innocent. Compared to before, it was a plain touch with no trace of other desires, but even that bothered me. A man was openly touching my body, and here I was describing it as “plain”…
“You wanted to be so thin… and ended up ruining your health… ah.”
I was about to ask if I’d really wanted to be thin, but I felt Hajin’s hand trembling against my side, so I kept quiet. It seemed best not to disturb him while he was lost in his own emotions.
Just as I was worrying about another awkward atmosphere developing, Hahyun burst through the door.
“I ordered everything! Huh? What’s this atmosphere? What did you two do while I was gone?”
“I’m just giving him a massage. Do you want me on top of Yoon Juwon? Behind him? I’m just placing my hands on him—why are you overreacting?”
Hahyun didn’t answer but jutted out his lower lip before approaching me. He grabbed my hand and rubbed the back of it against his cheek.
“Were you hungry? I ordered tons of food, so just pick whatever you like. I won’t say anything even if you gain a hundred kilos. No, what’s a hundred kilos? Even if you gain so much weight you can’t move, I’ll still love you. Because I can’t help but love you.”
I understood what he meant, but I didn’t want to. Is it really okay for a man to say “I love you” to another man? Hearing this confession, it finally sank in that I was truly trapped in a BL novel.
Not to be outdone, Hajin rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered:
“I’ll still find you beautiful even if you gain weight, so don’t worry.”
The moment I heard those words, I felt so cringey it was like my internal organs had turned into writhing worms. I didn’t think I could ever naturally accept such lines, even if I heard them a hundred times.
Irritated by Hajin’s words, Hahyun glared at him.
“Hyung, stop massaging him. What if our Juwon hyung melts away?”
“If you want to touch him, come massage his legs. Don’t pick fights for no reason.”
“Oh… good idea!”
Just as Hahyun approached with a bright smile, the doorbell rang.
“That must be the delivery! Hyung, wait here. I’ll set the table and call you.”
I couldn’t understand why he wanted to call us after setting the table instead of us all going together, but I nodded anyway.
Soon after, the doorbell rang every three minutes or so, and the smell of food began filling the house. Only then did I understand why Hahyun had gone out first.
Not long after, Hahyun opened the door and poked his head in.
“Everything’s ready. Come out.”
Hearing that, I tried to stand but ended up collapsing. Thankfully I was sitting on the bed, or I might’ve been hurt. Cold sweat broke out as the thought crossed my mind. Is this body made of paper or what? Why is it so weak?
I tried to force myself up but felt like I’d crumble immediately. I looked at Hajin with a pitiful expression, silently asking for help.
“Since you haven’t moved in so long, it’ll be hard to walk right away. Get on my back.”
He crouched in front of me. His broad back was right there in front of my feet, but I couldn’t get on immediately and just stared blankly. Was it okay for a grown man to ride on another man’s back? This wasn’t even an emergency—it was just because I was hungry.
“What are you doing? Get on already.”
With Hajin’s slightly irritated words, all my concerns immediately vanished.
Kim Sojin, this is life-threatening. You might die if you keep starving.
So my getting on Hajin’s back wasn’t because I was weak—it was because I was worried about Yoon Juwon’s body that had been starved for too long.
Anyway, I resolved to get on another man’s back for the first time since my father. As I reached my arms toward Hajin’s shoulders, he grew impatient and pressed me.
“What’s wrong? Are you refusing? Is this kind of contact uncomfortable for you?”
Frightened by Hajin’s slightly lowered voice, words tumbled out without passing through my brain.
“M-my arms are too weak to reach out. I’d appreciate it if Hajin-ssi could help me.”
Hajin’s glaring eyes softened. Relieved, I lifted one arm slightly and let it drop limply. Hajin frowned.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t being considerate. Juwon… is it very difficult?”
Seeing his completely changed expression and tone, he seemed like someone with a split personality. How could someone transform so instantly?
“I-it’s okay. I was hungry and wanted to eat quickly, so I mean—my arm hurt when I tried to move suddenly. I’m fine now.”
“You must really be in pain after lying down so long.”
He placed his hand on his forehead and tilted his head back like a tragic male lead. Seeing Hajin genuinely saddened and deceived by my act, I felt like laughing despite the situation. Afraid I might burst out, I tried my best not to look at him while keeping a straight face.
“Getting on my back won’t work…”
After saying this, Hajin quickly stood up. He turned my body toward him and placed one arm behind my back and the other under my knees.
“No choice. I’ll have to carry you like this.”
As my body suddenly lifted, I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. Only then did I realize what situation I was in.
I was being carried princess-style by a man I’d just met today. Not because I’d committed some grave sin, but because I’d briefly hesitated about getting on his back.
My goodness… princess-style? By the time I regretted not getting on his back immediately, I was already in his arms. Hajin smiled happily.
“That’s right, you need to hold onto my neck for stability when being carried.”
“Ha, ha, ha. My arms have no strength.”
“Is that so? It’s fine even if you just loosely hold on. I’ll never drop you.”
Hajin pressed his lips against my cheek. Even as his lips made a smacking sound pulling away, I couldn’t believe a man had just kissed my cheek.
I did not kiss this man. I did not kiss this man. I did not kiss this man.
As I denied reality by chanting internally, Hajin tried to press his lips to my cheek again. I frowned and jerked my head back as far as possible. Just then, Hahyun entered the room.
“What are you two doing? Why are you kissing without me? Damn… I feel like crap…”
Hajin responded to Hahyun, but I couldn’t hear what he said. I’d been busy brainwashing myself that no kiss had happened, but because of Hahyun, the word “kiss” pierced directly into my ears.
Haah…
A man’s lips touching my cheek… I couldn’t believe such a thing had happened to me.
“What do you mean what are we doing? Juwon can’t walk, so I’m carrying him.”
“Then you could just carry him out—why did you kiss him!”
“Because he looked pretty being carried so nicely.”
P-pretty being carried? It was already hard enough enduring this situation, but listening to Hajin and Hahyun’s conversation made it even more excruciating.
“Whatever, I want to kiss him too. That’s only fair.”
Before his words were even finished, Hahyun rushed over and kissed my cheek. With this second unexpected kiss, I nearly bit my tongue swallowing a scream.
Before the shock of my first kiss from a man had even subsided—another kiss from another man!
I wanted to slap both brothers for kissing me without permission, but all I could do was change my internal narrative.
From “I did not kiss this man” to “I am a person without cheeks”… Even so, my startled heart wouldn’t calm down.
“Juwon is starving. Let’s feed him.”
Hahyun went out first, and I followed, still being carried by Hajin. I wanted to get down quickly, but the house was so massive it felt like it took more than ten minutes just to go down the stairs from the second floor to the dining room.
