Hahyun suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace.
“I must be crazy. Leaving hyung alone at home and going out… Only to see this fucking sight of hyung crying because of someone else.”
Wait, Seo Hahyun… Weren’t you acting different lately? What happened to needing time, getting closer, and all that talk?
My mind was already a mess because of Hajin, and now Hahyun’s sudden outburst after being so quiet was making it worse.
“It’s not like that.”
“Then, were you secretly dating someone?”
“Hah… Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
“Because hyung suddenly started crying. And even though you have your phone, you didn’t contact me all day… If you weren’t talking to someone else, what were you doing?”
I couldn’t stay quiet after hearing that.
“You didn’t contact me either. It’s not like I ignored your messages. Why are you acting like this?”
But Hahyun responded shamelessly.
“Does hyung only think about me when I contact you? I thought about you all day today. I’m really hurt. Are you already tired of me?”
“…”
“I purposely held back from contacting you. Before, when I kept my distance, you showed interest in me.”
“…”
“So I thought I’d give you some attention. But you didn’t give me any! It must be because you’re tired of me.”
Tears began to well up in Hahyun’s eyes again. He was choked up with emotion, but suddenly his expression turned cold.
“I should have been the first one to do it after all.”
“Do what?”
“What else? What I did with Hajin hyung.”
“I’m not in the mood to have this childish argument with you right now, so could you please leave?”
As I turned away from Hahyun, I heard him sobbing loudly behind me. In that moment, I remembered how I had cried waiting for Hajin, who wouldn’t even come out to see me despite me slamming the door.
Right, what wrong has he done? Compared to Seo Hajin, who shamelessly returns after causing scandals with other women, Hahyun who only cares about me is an angel.
I went back to Hahyun, hugged him, patted his back, and whispered.
“Hahyun, do you want to sleep with hyung tonight?”
“…What? Really?”
His hands holding me were trembling so much from nervousness.
“But it’s not my turn today, is it?”
“I know.”
“…Then why?”
“Just because I want to sleep with you.”
“Hiik!”
Hahyun sank to the floor with his chest heaving.
“What are you doing? Get up.”
As soon as I reached out my hand to help him up, he pulled it, causing me to lose balance and fall. When I came to my senses, I was on Hahyun’s thigh.
“Hyung, I feel like I’m dreaming.”
He’s going to cry again.
“I really can’t believe hyung would be the one to suggest sleeping together first… Ha.”
Yeah, I never thought I’d say such things either. Hahyun, who had been looking at me, tilted his head and asked.
“By the way, hyung. Do I deserve praise for something? What did I do right? Ah… Was it good that I held back from contacting you today? That must be why you’re suggesting we sleep together.”
Facing Hahyun who was talking like this, I couldn’t tell him the truth—that I didn’t actually want to sleep with him, but rather didn’t want to sleep with Hajin—so I nodded. Then he started crying again.
“Hic, sniff…”
“Hahyun, there’s no need to be that moved. I’ve told you many times. I like you too.”
Hahyun blinked and looked at me. His eyes were asking what I was suddenly talking about.
“I am moved, but that’s not why I’m crying.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“Well…”
Hahyun was sobbing heavily, as if just recalling it made him sad, and finally managed to speak.
“Hyung, can I touch you just a little? Or will you touch me?”
“…”
Not anticipating Hahyun would be like this since he hadn’t been pushing for physical intimacy lately was a big mistake. Come to think of it, our current position was also a bit uncomfortable.
It’s probably because we were talking in this position that he keeps thinking in that direction.
I slowly got up. Hahyun immediately grabbed my wrist.
“Sob. I knew you’d do this. You’re really too much.”
“Then we can sleep separately.”
“…Who said that? I’m just saying you’re too much.”
Hahyun raised his head and looked up at me. His large eyes were sparkling. Until now, I’d only thought Hajin’s unusual eye color was pretty, but looking at Hahyun like this, his eyes also had a considerable power to captivate one’s heart.
Am I really infatuated? Why does everything look beautiful to me?
“I’m sorry. I won’t say things like that anymore, so please don’t cancel sleeping together. Okay?”
I nodded while stroking his hair.
Just then, we heard the door opening and Hajin cursing under his breath. Hahyun and I turned our heads simultaneously.
“Fuck. Haah…”
Judging by the way he was cursing while looking at his phone, he didn’t seem to be angry about our display of affection.
Well, whatever.
Even if I was anxious, he didn’t contact me, and even when I left the room upset and angry, he was insensitive. I didn’t want to care about what such a person might say.
“Seo Hahyun, come to work tomorrow morning. I think I need to leave right away.”
“Okay.”
Hajin spoke only to Hahyun, deliberately ignoring me, and went downstairs.
I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t take my eyes off Hajin’s retreating back. Hahyun immediately put his face in front of mine.
“Hyung, it seems heaven is helping us.”
“All of a sudden?”
“Yes! Because we’re sleeping together even though it’s not my turn. It’s much better without Hajin hyung.”
I suppose Hahyun was right about that. But I didn’t know why my stomach felt so sour.
* * *
“I want to do something.”
“What is it?”
“Will you do it with me?”
Hahyun narrowed his eyes and looked at me.
“Suddenly you don’t want to sleep with me, or you want to meet a friend you met online, or you like Hajin hyung more than me…”
I stopped him, thinking he would continue his delusions if I let him.
“It’s not like that, so let’s stop there. I just want to have a drink. Will you drink with me?”
“Alcohol? Hmm…”
I thought he would immediately agree to whatever I suggested we do together, but Hahyun started hesitating with a troubled expression.
“Why? Don’t you want to?”
“No! Who said I don’t want to? I was just thinking about what snacks to make. I’ll prepare something quickly, so please wait a moment.”
Hahyun said that and went into the kitchen. I sat on the sofa, fidgeting with my phone, and searched Seo Hajin’s name once more on the portal site.
By now, Seo Hajin’s side must have made an official statement, as the scandal was being treated as a fact. The more I read the articles, the more furious I became. My feelings were exactly the same as those of Seo Hajin’s fans who had left comments below the article.
Still, they didn’t know that Seo Hajin was planning to stay out all night, so they probably weren’t as angry as I was.
“Haah…”
As I was sighing deeply, Hahyun brought the drinks. Various types of alcohol—soju, beer, wine—and appropriate snacks for each were placed on the table in order.
“Why did you prepare so much? Just soju and shrimp crackers would have been enough…”
Hahyun jumped up.
“Hyung, that’ll give you stomach problems. You need to take care of your health. What am I supposed to do if you leave me alone and die?”
“Alright. Let’s just drink.”
I showcased my skill at mixing soju and beer, a talent I’d demonstrated at company dinners, and placed a somaek (soju-beer mix) with the golden ratio in front of Hahyun. After clinking glasses with a ‘cheers,’ I downed it in one go. Only then did I feel the tightness in my chest ease a little.
“Aren’t you drinking?”
“I-I’ll drink. But hyung, please drink slowly. What if you get drunk and pass out?”
“Don’t worry. I’m fine up to 5 bottles of soju.”
“Hiii…”
Hahyun looked at me with a shocked expression. It was so cute that I couldn’t stop laughing. He could be scary when showing his dark obsession, but at times like this, he looked just like a child. I couldn’t tell which was Hahyun’s true self.
* * *
Unfortunately, my feelings of finding Hahyun cute didn’t last long. I never imagined that Hahyun, who was big and could eat anything, would be so weak with alcohol.
After drinking one glass of somaek and then one beer, Hahyun started acting strange.
“Hyung, I really love you so much.”
“I know, I know, so stop it.”
“No. You don’t know.”
Hahyun had been hugging me and repeating the same thing for 30 minutes, and I was starting to suffocate. Only when I hit his back hard and told him I couldn’t breathe did he finally loosen his arms.
“Hahyun, I know you love me, so stop and go to bed first if you’re tired.”
“What? Stop and go to bed? How can you say that? I knew it. You suggested sleeping together but you’re trying to put just me to bed alone.”
“That’s not it, I’m telling you to rest because you’re drunk.”
Hahyun was always difficult to reason with during his outbursts, but being drunk made it much worse.
Hahyun started kissing my neck, making wet smacking sounds. Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but the places his lips touched felt much hotter than usual.
