Chapter 51
“Why are you two like this! You said you were going to wake him up, and now you’re lying down again? That’s so unfair…”
I wondered why Hahyun had been so quiet. It wouldn’t be Seo Hahyun if he just let something like this slide.
I tried to get up, but once again, I had no strength. Hahyun came over and forcibly pulled me to my feet. Every muscle in my body screamed in protest.
“What are you doing! Hurry up and come out. I don’t want to eat alone.”
“Alright.”
I obediently headed outside, trying to ignore Hajin’s intense gaze burning into me. But my body, remembering last night, turned my head to look at him against my will.
When our eyes met, he smiled provocatively. I stared blankly at his downturned eyes and his swollen red lips.
“What are you doing? Let’s go.”
Urged on by Hahyun, I snapped out of it and went outside.
Hahyun, who’d been following behind me, suddenly grabbed my shoulder.
“Hyung.”
“Yeah?”
Hahyun narrowed his eyes. Afraid I might slip up and reveal to Hahyun that I’d slept with Hajin, I kept my mouth firmly shut. His suspicious gaze traveled from my head down to my toes.
“Why are you walking like that?”
“Huh? Like what?”
“You’re limping.”
“No, you’re seeing things.”
To avoid arousing Hahyun’s suspicion, I deliberately lengthened my stride and walked while stomping my feet firmly on the floor. Though the impact sent pain shooting through my lower back, I clenched my teeth.
Considering the possibility that I might die if Seo Hahyun found out, pretending not to be in pain wasn’t so hard.
Hahyun tilted his head in confusion, then pressed firmly on my lower back. Right where it hurt most.
As I swallowed my scream, Hahyun said, “Look at me,” and turned my chin toward him. Looking at his face, I could clearly read his desire to ask, ‘What did you do last night?’
“What’s wrong? I’m hungry.”
“Fuck, stop changing the subject and look at me properly.”
I looked at Hahyun hesitantly. He had an expression like he was about to burst into tears at any moment.
“What? What’s your problem now? You’re always looking for a fight.”
“Ha, are you asking because you don’t know? You’re acting weird right now.”
“There are many ways to act weird. I didn’t know it myself, but I guess I pulled a muscle while sleeping. What exactly are you thinking?”
Hahyun glared at me for a while as if he still couldn’t believe it, then sighed.
“Fuck, Yoon Juwon, are you going to keep this up? Did you do it with Seo Hajin or not? Just tell me that.”
“I didn’t! I’m telling you I didn’t!”
“I won’t believe it until I check.”
“Check what? Hajin-ssi hasn’t left for work yet, so you can just ask him yourself.”
“Talk sense. You two could be in on it together to deceive me.”
“Hahyun, think about it. If you slept with me, wouldn’t you brag about it to Hajin-ssi?”
At that, he closed his mouth as if he couldn’t deny it. But he didn’t seem to believe my words either. So I offered a compromise.
“What would make you believe me?”
Hahyun responded as if he’d been waiting for this.
“Well, I should examine you…”
“Don’t talk nonsense. Just tell me what you want.”
When I spoke seriously, Hahyun thought with a disgruntled expression before continuing.
“I don’t think I’ll believe whatever you say. So sleep with me tonight too.”
“If you’re not willing to compromise, just go away.”
I spoke firmly and walked to the dining room. I tried to walk normally, but the pain I felt with each step made it impossible. Hahyun followed, huffing angrily.
“Stop trying to deceive me like that. I’m being incredibly patient here. If I really snap, who knows what I might do…”
Maybe I was too exhausted, but I wasn’t scared of Hahyun’s behavior at all. Fuck it, if he wants to lock me in the basement, let him. I might never be able to go outside anyway, so what’s the difference between being confined to the house or the basement? And now that the basement’s been transformed into a cinema and game room, I’d actually be thankful if he locked me up there!
I ignored Hahyun’s words and sat at the table. After confirming that Hahyun sat across from me, I picked up my spoon. I had no appetite, but I forced myself to eat, thinking I needed strength to deal with them.
Just then, I heard Hajin coming downstairs.
“Are you heading to work?”
At my words, Hajin approached with a gentle smile and kissed my forehead. As Hajin pulled away, I could see the marks I’d left on him through his shirt. At the same time, the scent of his cologne washed over me. I flinched at the sensual memory, but then straightened my back, remembering Hahyun was with us. Hajin winked at me knowingly.
From across the table, Hahyun slammed his spoon down with a loud clatter.
“I might be late today. Enjoy your meal.”
“Hajin-ssi, don’t overwork yourself. And don’t strain your hands too much.”
“I’ll try to come home early.”
Hahyun glared at us like his eyes might pop out of his head. Seeing his agitated expression, I stood up from the table.
“Let me walk you out.”
Sensing something was off, Hajin didn’t try to stop me. I was concerned about leaving Hahyun alone at the table, but he’d brought this on himself. Who told him to provoke me? If he’d just believed me when I first denied it, I wouldn’t have gone this far.
“Have a safe trip!”
After watching Hajin leave, I returned to the dining room. Hahyun glared at me like he wanted to kill me, then said:
“I can’t take this anymore.”
My hand trembled at his deeply sunken voice. But Hahyun just stared at me intently without saying what else he would do. Then his eyes began to redden, and eventually, tears started falling.
“Haah… What did I do to make you cry again?”
Seeing Hahyun silently crying with such a pitiful expression, my heart began to waver. Why does this kid have so much pain that he cries so miserably? I felt guilty about lying and considered telling the truth, but then shook my head. Who knows what might happen if I did. Trying to ignore my pricking conscience, I placed my hand on Hahyun’s cheek. Angry, Hahyun violently brushed my hand away.
“Hahyun, nothing happened yesterday. There’s no reason to cry!”
“You really think I’m that stupid, hyung. Just because I act foolish in front of you doesn’t mean I actually am.”
“What do you mean?”
“You should know your limits. Even earlier, I clearly knew you two had slept together, but if you’d just said you’d do it with me too so I shouldn’t be angry, would I insist it has to be today?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at this absurd statement. Of course you would insist. I might trust Seo Hajin, but I can’t trust you.
“How can I say we did when we didn’t?”
“Wow, fuck, right until the end…”
Hahyun flushed deeply and breathed heavily. But today, I didn’t want to lose either.
“Why are you so angry? When I tried to comfort you earlier, you pushed me away.”
“…”
“Didn’t you?”
I reached out to him again, hoping he would relent.
“Move your hand.”
Hahyun pushed my hand away again. It was frustratingly insane—I couldn’t get angry seeing his crying face, but when I tried to comfort him, he rejected me. I had no idea what he wanted.
“Hahyun, I feel hurt too when you act like this.”
“You just feel hurt, hyung? I feel like my heart is being ripped apart.”
“First tell me why you’re hurt, then I’ll respond.”
“…Why?”
I moved to sit beside Hahyun. This time, he stayed still and didn’t avoid me.
When our thighs touched, his face suddenly turned bright red. This isn’t the time for that. Get it together. I shifted slightly to separate our bodies, then continued speaking calmly.
“Since I lost my memory, have I spent more time with Hajin-ssi or with you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? So what?”
Seeing him acting petulant like a grade schooler, I wanted to slap him, but I held back and continued.
“What I’m saying is, I’ve grown more attached to you. So why would I sleep with Hajin-ssi first and leave you out? Knowing full well you’d react like this… And there’s something you don’t know about Hajin-ssi.”
I explained several times that when Hajin first spent the night with me, he’d read books all night without paying me any attention, and yesterday wasn’t much different.
“That can’t be true.”
“I’m telling you it is. Why would I lie about something like this?”
As I continued trying to persuade Hahyun, a thought suddenly occurred to me. Why am I lying so desperately? Hahyun is afraid of being hated by me, so even if I told him I slept with Hajin, he wouldn’t force himself on me…
At the end of that thought, I suddenly realized. That I like Hahyun… Otherwise, there’d be no reason to be so desperate about hiding my relationship with Hajin.
When did it start? Thinking back, even before we’d almost gone all the way yesterday, I’d often found him cute, or felt sorry for him when he cried.
But at that time, I’d felt more sympathy for Hahyun, who’d been used and abandoned by the past Yoon Juwon. Can sympathy turn into affection? Or had I unknowingly developed feelings for Hahyun, who unconditionally liked me no matter what I did?
“So that’s why I’m hurt. Because you don’t understand my feelings.”
Hahyun hung his head like someone who’d committed a crime. I patted his shoulder.
“Hyung is the one who…”
He stopped mid-sentence, raised his head, and met my eyes. His bloodshot eyes looked pitiful.
“No. I understand. Let’s say that’s true. Well, that’s not the only thing I want from you anyway.”
I was problematic too, finding it cute to see this big guy getting angry, crying, sulking, and then reluctantly giving up.
I placed a spoon in Hahyun’s hand and said:
“If you’re done crying, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”
“Okay.”
Just as I was about to take a spoonful of the now-cold soup, the doorbell started ringing, even though there should be no one coming now that Hajin had left. Hahyun’s eyes widened.
“Who could that be?”
Hahyun got up urgently, went outside, and said:
“Hyung, stay here… No, quickly go to Hajin hyung’s room—the closest one.”
“Okay.”
Who could it be? Surely not the police catching on? I tried to calm my pounding heart as I ran up to the second floor.
