Chapter 37
‘Is this what they call physical intimacy with an emotional connection?’
When Juwon first said those words, I thought he was just making excuses because he didn’t want physical contact, but with each touch, I felt something different from before—making me think his words might actually be true.
“Hyung, you’re such a fascinating person.”
“Look who’s talking.”
Juwon burst out laughing at my response.
‘He laughed in front of me, because of me.’
That sight was so unbelievable that I stared at him for a long time. After his laughter subsided, Juwon’s lips twitched like he had something to say, then he spoke in a playful voice.
“You know what?”
“What?”
“When Hahyun-ssi makes that expression, it’s really cute. Just like a baby.”
“…I don’t like being called a baby.”
“But being cute is a good thing.”
“Still, I don’t like being called a baby. I’m already younger than you, so it bothers me…”
My pride was hurt and my mood was starting to sour, but Juwon kept giggling like something was incredibly amusing.
“If you can’t hold back your tears, you are a baby…”
“That’s not true. I don’t cry about other things. I hold back really well.”
“Oh… really?”
Juwon said this while pulling me into a tight embrace. I was so shocked I almost pushed him away.
‘He’s hugging me without me begging for it or crying first?’
As Juwon laughed while holding me, his lips against my neck kept tickling me. My heart was racing like crazy, and my head was spinning.
Only then did I understand why I felt like crying more now than when I was acting out before.
Sweet dreams make you not want to wake up. The reason the tears keep coming is because I’m terrified this might be a dream, and I’m worried about what happens when I wake up.
I clutched Juwon’s clothes tightly. Like he said, I didn’t need kisses or anything else. I hadn’t wanted to fall asleep, but his embrace was so comfortable that my eyes slowly closed on their own.
***
I quietly gazed at the sleeping Hahyun. My mind was too troubled to fall asleep. Until Hahyun had burst through my door and gotten upset just from seeing a character’s name in my screenplay, I’d been anxious, not knowing when he might have another outburst. But today, Hahyun had seemed different somehow. It was like his soul had left his body.
I stared at him in the darkness, reviewing what had happened today.
Had I unknowingly taken Hajin’s side more, or done something to make Hahyun anxious? Thinking back, there didn’t seem to be anything specific.
Just as I closed my eyes to stop overthinking and try to sleep, I heard groaning sounds from beside me.
As soon as I heard them, all my thoughts scattered.
This bastard is pretending to sleep while doing something weird. I was just thinking that I’d worried for nothing when the groaning sounds grew louder. But these groans sounded off—they didn’t seem like sounds of pleasure.
They sounded more like groans of pain or distress… Is he sick?
With an ominous feeling, I bolted upright and touched his forehead. He was burning up with fever. I felt terrible for misunderstanding when he’d been acting differently because he was sick.
“Hahyun-ssi, wake up. Your fever is way too high.”
Even as Hahyun unconsciously pushed my arm away like he was irritated, he couldn’t wake up. Even after shaking him several more times and pinching him somewhat painfully, nothing changed. If this had been my original world, I would’ve called 911 without hesitation, but since I couldn’t do that here, I felt completely lost.
“Hajin. Seo Hajin.”
As the crisis hit, I instinctively thought of Hajin first. Without even questioning why, I immediately got up to go find him. At that moment, Hahyun—who I thought was still half-unconscious—grabbed my wrist.
“Hahyun-ssi? Are you okay? Can you get up?”
“Hyung, where are you going?”
Hearing his voice, which seemed to struggle just to get the words out, I wasn’t reassured even though he was awake.
“Wait just a moment. I’ll go get Hajin-ssi quickly. Let’s go to the hospital together.”
Hahyun’s hand, which had been gripping my wrist, fell away weakly.
He let go when I said I was going to Hajin? Realizing this was no ordinary situation, I became even more anxious.
I told him several times in his ear that I was going to call Hajin because I was so worried about him, then left the room.
On my way to Hajin’s room, my legs trembled with anxiety, making it hard to walk. When I opened the door and entered, Hajin—who’d been reading a book while leaning against his bed—slowly looked up.
Only after seeing Hajin could I breathe deeply.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ha-Hahyun-ssi. Something’s wrong with him.”
Thinking I needed to get Hajin to Hahyun quickly, I rapidly spilled out words as soon as I saw him.
“I don’t know. He has a really high fever, he’s groaning… I wanted to call 911, but I don’t have a phone…”
Perhaps realizing my state was unusual, Hajin came toward me.
“Calm down first. It seems like you’re the one who’s sick, not Hahyun…”
“No, I’m fine. Hahyun-ssi suddenly got weird.”
My shocked state must not have worn off, because I couldn’t even speak properly. Hajin gripped both my shoulders and looked me in the eye calmly.
“Juwon, it’s okay. Relax. I know why Hahyun is like this.”
I could barely process what Hajin was saying to reassure me. All I could think about was that I needed to get Hajin to Hahyun quickly.
“L-let’s go now. I can’t do anything for him.”
“Alright.”
Even as we went to my room together, Hajin comforted me multiple times, saying it would be fine. I walked practically clinging to Hajin’s arm to keep from collapsing.
“Our Juwon is so kind.”
“It’s not about being kind… it’s just that a healthy person suddenly got sick.”
Even though I was deeply worried about Hahyun, Hajin didn’t show a trace of jealousy—instead, he kept comforting me.
When we entered the room, Hahyun was still groaning in pain. Hajin checked his temperature with his hand and tried to wake him up to assess his condition.
“Why is he like this? Does he have some kind of illness?”
“Did something happen today that shocked him while I wasn’t around?”
“No. I thought it was strange too, so I went over everything that happened today, but there wasn’t anything like that.”
“Hah… this is serious. I thought he’d get better if you were good to him, but he’s only getting worse.”
Hajin’s words made me feel guilty, like he was saying it was all my fault that Hahyun had ended up like this. Honestly, if we’re being fair, Hahyun became like this because of Chairman Seo, and more fundamentally because of Kim Hyunju who wrote this story—not because of me, right? But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was my fault, which might be why I was so worried.
“Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?”
“We can call a doctor. Let’s bring his fever down first.”
Unlike me, who couldn’t do anything but fidget anxiously over Hahyun’s condition, Hajin calmly gave Hahyun fever medicine and wiped his forehead with a cold towel.
Then he called a doctor. The fever medicine seemed to be working, as Hahyun stopped groaning.
“Whew…”
As I sighed in relief, Hajin came over and wiped the cold sweat from my forehead.
“As you can see, his fever’s gone down, so he should be fine. The doctor lives nearby, so he’ll be here soon.”
His gentle touch moved from my neck down to pat my back. Sweat was streaming down my back too.
All I could think was, thank god.
What if, like in the original story, there had been only Hahyun without Hajin? If something like this had happened, he would’ve had to suffer alone. Realizing this made me understand how fortunate it was that Hajin was here.
And I was surprised at my own reaction.
I couldn’t figure out what my emotions were—being so startled I could barely breathe when Hahyun got sick, and feeling relieved upon seeing Hajin like I’d met a savior.
The longer I spent time with them, the more I found myself drawn to these strange brothers who were rivals in love but simultaneously trusted and relied on each other.
***
The doctor left. He said the physical symptoms were just a simple body ache from a cold, and that Hahyun would recover after resting well for a few days. Additionally, he said he’d prescribe sedatives to prevent the condition from worsening due to psychological issues.
After receiving an IV, Hahyun slept like the dead. Following the doctor’s advice that it’s better not to wake a patient until they wake up naturally, Hajin and I quietly left the room.
“Do you want to sleep in my room?”
“No. I’m wide awake now. And I can just sleep during the day anyway…”
“Okay, then shall we talk?”
“Will you be alright without sleep, Hajin-ssi?”
Hajin smiled bitterly and made a joke that sounded disturbingly truthful.
“I’m afraid I might end up like Hahyun if I fall asleep, so I can’t risk it.”
Hajin’s shadowed face looked terribly lonely. I gave an awkward smile and led him to the sofa. Then I boldly made a request.
“Hajin-ssi, make me some coffee! Make it sweet with lots of caramel syrup.”
“Haha, alright.”
