Chapter 29
I smiled awkwardly at the unexpected expression of gratitude.
“Well, would you have let me go if I said I didn’t want to stay?”
He laughed softly and answered.
“Of course not.”
“Then the result would be the same anyway.”
“No, it’s different.”
Hahyun, who had been quiet, suddenly interrupted my response.
“Someone who used to spew verbal abuse at every opportunity, saying he’d rather go to prison than stay with you guys, and threatening to sue once he got out, changed overnight. Of course that’s good.”
“Ah, is that what it was?”
“Hajin hyung lacks expressiveness, so he’s not good at explaining things.”
I laughed out loud without realizing it at the words mocking Hajin. Then I heard Hajin clearing his throat right next to me, so I closed my mouth.
“Enough with the useless talk. Anyway, I was thinking of granting our Juwon’s wish.”
“Wish?”
Had I mentioned anything like that? I tried to recall but nothing came to mind. When I tilted my head in confusion, Hajin smiled so widely that the corners of his mouth almost reached his ears. Does he know? That a madman’s smile is scarier than his anger.
“You wanted to go outside. You also said you wanted a laptop.”
“What are you saying? So you’re letting him go out?”
When Hahyun asked with a shocked expression, Hajin slowly nodded. Then Hahyun started to go wild.
“What? Are you crazy, hyung? Go out? Where? Why are you stirring up someone who’s decided to stay here? Wow… Why don’t you just take him to the police and say, ‘Please arrest him’? How can you say something like that? You’re really not in your right mind.”
After thrashing around like a madman, Hahyun clung to my arm and rambled on.
“Hyung, there’s no need to listen anymore. I’ll protect you, so just pretend you didn’t hear…”
“Hahyun-ssi is right. I can’t wander outside as a wanted criminal. That doesn’t seem right.”
Hajin’s face contorted.
“Anyway, both of you don’t listen until I finish speaking—you’re both so impatient.”
Hajin slowly sipped his tea. His pale face and red lips felt especially eerie today.
“I’m not suggesting we go out defenseless. Not by clumsily covering up with a hat or mask… I’ve been worried seeing you talk less and barely eat lately. I was afraid you might revert back to how you were before.”
Hahyun gasped at Hajin’s words.
“So I thought about it. How could I take Yoon Juwon outside without any incidents?”
“Is there a way?”
Hajin nodded with a satisfied face.
“What is it?”
“Special makeup.”
“Excuse me?”
I stared at Hajin with my mouth open. Special makeup would require someone else coming to the house, creating as much risk as going outside.
There’s no way careful Hajin wouldn’t know this…
“Ha… This hyung has really gone crazy. Look, Seo Hajin-ssi. You want to show Juwon hyung to a makeup artist? What if that bastard goes outside and spreads the word?”
Since Hahyun had already said what I wanted to say, I kept my mouth shut and just looked at Hajin. Hajin was simply smiling mysteriously. Right—what kind of person is Seo Hajin to suggest going outside without a backup plan?
“Who said anything about showing him to someone?”
“Then… what are you planning…”
“Hahyun, don’t you remember? That eccentric designer, Taylor Han, promised to make Juwon the main character, but it turned out that fashion show was only for women…”
“Ah! I remember. I remember!”
“Yeah, since he’s so pretty and has such a slender figure, we could probably dress him up as a woman ourselves.”
“I get it! You’re saying we should dress him up as a woman and then call a makeup artist to the house?”
“Yes.”
“Wow… Hyung, you’re a genius.”
Cross-dressing? Just thinking about it made me shudder. The brothers would definitely make lewd jokes while seeing me dressed as a woman.
As a heterosexual man, it was already maddening enough to live with these men, and now they wanted me to cross-dress? Rather than that, I’d rather be confined in this house forever. I’d rather die than do that.
However, the brothers didn’t even ask for my opinion and continued their more detailed discussion while giggling between themselves. If I didn’t stop them here, something terrible would happen.
“Excuse me, Seo Hajin-ssi.”
He turned his head at my call, stared at me for a moment, and then said,
“Why… don’t you look touched? After I’ve thought so hard for your sake…”
The moment I heard him say it was for my sake, heat rose all the way to the top of my head. If I followed my natural temperament, I would have screamed at the top of my lungs, “Hey, you crazy bastard! What cross-dressing for a real man? Are you insane?” and slapped his face, but I barely held back.
“I might have been okay with cross-dressing before I lost my memory, but the current me hates it. Rather than cross-dress, I’d rather live confined here forever.”
Hajin looked at me with wide eyes as if he found it unexpected. I became more desperate and added,
“No, I want that. I don’t like going outside.”
Hajin’s expression gradually distorted. Hahyun, who had been watching our reactions carefully, cautiously expressed his opinion.
“I don’t care what Juwon hyung chooses. It’s a shame I can’t see hyung cross-dressed, but I’m happy since there won’t be any worries if he doesn’t go out!”
For the first time, I was glad Hahyun was possessive. Since Hajin’s obsession was no less intense, I looked at him with hope that he might agree with Hahyun’s words. But somehow, his expression seemed even colder than before. Is this my imagination? He asked with a suppressed tone,
“So? You mean you don’t need it?”
“Yes, there’s no need to go out.”
Rather than getting angry, he just stared at me with a cold expression, which felt really uncomfortable, so I added words I didn’t need to say.
“I’ll let you know if I need it later.”
As soon as I finished speaking, Hajin stood up from his seat. Afraid that a punch might fly at me any moment, I closed my eyes tightly and shrank my body, but nothing happened.
When I peeked, Hajin had already disappeared. This was the first time he’d disappeared without a word after staring at me like he was going to kill me.
“Sigh.”
I heard Hahyun sighing next to me.
“Why is he acting like this?”
Hahyun, who had been looking at where Hajin had disappeared, shifted his gaze to me.
“You really don’t know? Juwon hyung knows Hajin hyung better than me… Oh, you have amnesia. But even with amnesia, you should know since you’ve seen Hajin hyung.”
No matter how much I thought about it, I didn’t understand, so I just blinked. Hahyun continued.
“It’s nothing serious. Or is it? At that level, it’s quite severe…”
“Please explain so I can understand.”
“You can tell at a glance. Hajin hyung is a control freak. Since he’s not like that with everyone, when he goes outside, he just seems like someone with a strong competitive streak. But once someone enters his territory, he has a personality where everyone must follow his words no matter what.”
“…Isn’t he just having multiple personalities? Sometimes he told me not to go out, and now he’s acting like this even though I said I don’t want to go out. I really don’t understand why.”
Hahyun’s sigh grew longer.
“That’s why I told you the first day. That when he’s really angry, he’s scarier than me. Hyung, have you never thought it strange? Why a crazy person like me listens well to Hajin hyung…”
I did find that strange, but I’d assumed it was because they were brothers. But now that I heard Hahyun’s words, it really was odd.
“For Hajin hyung, demanding his way from others is how he expresses affection. To put it nicely, he’s a control freak, but in one word, he’s a narcissist, and whatever you do, he’s an exhausting person who’s only satisfied when you do as he tells you…”
As he was speaking, Hahyun looked over my shoulder, was startled, and then shut his mouth tightly. Just looking at his expression, I could guess what had happened, but I was afraid to turn around.
Thump, thump. I felt a large hand tapping my shoulder. With the feeling of being a rabbit in front of a tiger, I slowly turned around. I smiled awkwardly and said,
“Haha, you’re back. You disappeared so suddenly, I was just about to go look for you…”
Without even listening to my words, Hajin glared at Hahyun, who was hiding behind me.
“Narcissist? Exhausting personality? Who?”
“Who else? The hyung who disappeared because he got upset while talking.”
Even though Hahyun was hiding behind me out of fear, his mouth was alive and chattering. Hajin, as if he couldn’t believe it, ran his hand through his hair once and then put his arm on my shoulder.
“I’m asking you for the very last time. What do you want to do?”
What is this, a leading question? Why is he asking again when I’ve already given my answer? He probably wants me to do what he wants after all.
Looking back at the time I’ve spent with him, it seems like he’s been training me—by roughly following his words and then giving me one thing I want in return. Even the skinship issue, which seemed like something he would never compromise on, he helped convince Hahyun for me as soon as I decided not to push him away.
To summarize, Hahyun expresses affection through blind obsession, while Hajin does so by controlling the other person.
Control freak… Control?
Hajin was waiting for my answer with an expressionless face, trying to appear calm, but I, fixated on the word “control,” needed more time to think.
What happens if someone in a subordinate position doesn’t listen to a control freak? The answer wasn’t difficult. I was experiencing the reality of what happens to someone who hasn’t properly listened to Seo Hajin.
“Well… being stuck at home is too stifling, after all. And I’d like to choose a laptop myself.”
His face visibly brightened at my answer. He looked just like a child who had made a difficult request to his parents and received permission.
Since they’re people too, it’s natural for them to get hurt, shed tears, and show joy, but whenever I discovered these aspects of the brothers, I felt strange. Was it the kind of fear you feel when someone who was dead, or someone who only existed in your imagination, appears before you as a real person?
It might have been a vague fear about a future where I might be consumed by the brothers, forget that I am Kim Sojin, and exist only as Yoon Juwon.
Or perhaps it was simply a fear of my unfamiliar emotions—feeling compassion for Hahyun and a sense of stability with Hajin.
