Chapter 22
“I-I’m still worried.”
“Look, I’m telling you this because you’re concerned, hyung. That doctor is the kind of person who’d watch a child get beaten nearly to death without reporting it—as long as you pay him enough. Would someone like that care enough about some model he treated to go around talking about it? We paid him a fortune. And we told him if he spreads a word about your existence, we’ll expose all the dirt we have on him. He’ll keep his mouth shut if he doesn’t want to die.”
After hearing Hahyun’s words, I nodded as if everything was fine, but goosebumps were spreading across my body.
Who was this child who was beaten nearly to death? Could it be that the brothers were abused as children? If so, their twisted thinking would make sense. Children who suffer abuse and don’t receive proper treatment carry that trauma with them.
Hahyun suddenly spoke up.
“Hyung, by the way, it might not be sleepwalking.”
My heart sank at his words, terrified my acting had been discovered.
“Since this is the first time you’ve done something like this, don’t worry too much. Let’s eat first.”
I followed Hahyun and sat at the dining table. It was loaded with food. The dishes that had tasted delicious before now seemed flavorless, probably because I was still in shock.
Feeling Hahyun watching me, I just scooped up some rice and put it in my mouth—then a perfectly grilled piece of beef was placed on top of my rice. Watching me put it all in my mouth, Hahyun said with a satisfied expression:
“Hyung, I like it when you’re spaced out like this. I also like it when you’re scared. It’s so cute that you can’t even eat properly and I have to put side dishes on your rice for you. Why don’t you just stay crazy forever?”
“…Please don’t say things like that. Do you think this is a joke? I’m really scared.”
As I spoke while trembling, the smile disappeared completely from Hahyun’s face.
“Who said it’s a joke? Do you think I’m joking around?”
No, he wasn’t. In fact, it sounded so sincere that it was terrifying. Although this wasn’t a situation where I should act confident, I needed to keep my wits about me now more than ever.
I put my spoon down forcefully on the table.
“If you’re going to talk like that, I won’t eat anymore.”
He responded with a spiteful expression.
“Pick up your spoon now. I told you I need to feed you and leave quickly.”
I was slightly scared but stubbornly kept my mouth shut and didn’t react at all. Hahyun then put the spoon back in my hand.
“Why are you being so stubborn? You’re not a child. Are you really going to throw a tantrum over food?”
“Hahyun-ssi, do you not understand why I’m upset?”
Hahyun nodded. I gently removed his hand.
“When someone is trembling with fear, and you say you like that they’re crazy, how is that okay? How am I supposed to react to that? Should I smile and say I’m glad?”
Even as I spoke, I tried to convey just the facts without letting Hahyun sense any hostility in my voice. I wasn’t confident such a reasonable argument would work on him, but if I gave in on one thing, I might have to give in on something bigger later. I needed to set boundaries from the start. After all, Hahyun was the one who’d tried to tie me up.
Hahyun, who’d been biting his lower lip with a disgruntled expression, finally spoke.
“Fine. I won’t say things like that anymore. But I wasn’t trying to threaten you. It’s just that you’ve never been kind to me, so I’d rather you couldn’t do anything at all. If you speak nicely like you did today, I can understand. Me too.”
Although he wasn’t showing genuine remorse, I was a bit surprised that he was at least outwardly trying to respect my wishes. I picked up my spoon again. Hahyun, who’d been watching my hand, immediately grinned when I picked up the spoon. So I smiled back and said:
“It feels nice when you listen. The mackerel looks delicious.”
No sooner had I finished speaking than Hahyun deboned the mackerel and put it on top of my rice. He wasn’t a child, but his behavior that shifted moment by moment depending on my reactions seemed almost cute.
While eating the food that Hahyun was practically spoon-feeding me, I thought about the clues I’d gathered today.
The reason the brothers wouldn’t let me go outside was obviously related to the “Yoon Juwon disappearance case” I’d seen in Hajin’s room. But it was difficult to understand how those clues connected to “confessing.”
As I recalled the clues, my heart raced and energy flowed through my body. To think that I, who’d been worried about depression and lethargy, had become so energized just because I was in crisis. While it was good to overcome the lethargy, I had to be careful—unnecessary curiosity or energy in a captive situation could lead the protagonist into the worst predicament.
After the meal, Hahyun left, saying he’d finish up some unfinished business. I considered searching for more clues but decided against it.
If the brothers saw me later and thought I’d been walking around the house in my sleep after waking from a nap, they might become suspicious of what happened earlier.
It wasn’t difficult to organize the events and commit them to memory, but human memory has its limits. Plus, this body wasn’t mine, so I didn’t know what changes might occur.
Being cautious never hurts, so I decided that when the brothers returned, I’d ask them to buy me a small laptop, even if it couldn’t connect to the internet.
***
The brothers returned much later. Hahyun had come back in the middle to prepare my meal, but this was the first time they’d left me alone for so long.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the expressions on the brothers’ faces when they returned seemed less serious than when they’d left.
Hahyun asked if I’d showered, and I quickly replied that I had.
After hearing my answer, the brothers, as if on cue, changed their clothes and went into separate bathrooms. Hajin, who came out first, kissed me as I sat on the sofa and said:
“I’m sorry we can’t sleep together tonight. I’ll look forward to tomorrow.”
Hajin only said that much, then smiled brightly before returning to his room.
Ah, so I have to sleep with Hahyun tonight.
While thinking about the scattered clues, I’d completely overlooked the fact that I’d be sharing a bed with Hahyun tonight. I’d been looking far away while ignoring the fire at my feet. With a strong desire to kick myself, I tried to think of countermeasures, but there wasn’t enough time for a good idea to come to mind.
“What are you doing out here? We should go in quickly.”
Hahyun, approaching with a bright smile, felt like the grim reaper. When I hesitated, shadows fell across his face. Not knowing what crazy thing he might say next, I stood up, grabbed his hand, and said confidently:
“Let’s go!”
Hahyun happily replied and led the way.
***
“Um, Hahyun-ssi, just in case—did you see the skinship stages I gave to Hajin-ssi? I definitely wanted to show you too…”
“Ah, that bullshit? Yeah, I saw it. You have no idea how much I laughed.”
Hahyun pulled my body, which was at the edge of the bed, toward him. He pulled so tightly that my arm started to go numb.
“It was kind of cute in its own way. So I thought about it.”
The eyes looking down at me were unsettling. Seeing that gaze, I felt a red warning light somewhere in my chest suddenly flash on.
“Did our Juwon hyung write this to piss me off? Or…”
A large hand smoothly stroked my cheek. Though it was just a touch, it felt eerie, like a piece of ice brushing against my skin.
“Did you just want to be cute? But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure it out. So I want to ask. Which was it?”
Since I couldn’t say both were wrong, nor could I say one of them was the right answer, I just smiled awkwardly.
Hahyun playfully poked my chest with his finger and asked:
“Why won’t you answer me?”
The answer needed to be appropriately affectionate without pushing Hahyun away, yet not dangerous. Was there such an answer?
His hand moved more explicitly over my body. I urgently grabbed his wrist and said:
“I-I’ll answer. The stages of skinship are actually the art of seduction.”
Hahyun looked surprised and removed his hand from my body.
“What the hell are you talking about? If you called it ‘the art of making someone so angry they go crazy,’ I might understand. How can you call it the art of seduction?”
“Hahyun-ssi, think about it. I’m in a position where I have to do my best to make sure your affection doesn’t fade. I admit that.”
“Hmm… Anyway, tell me more. I’ll at least listen.”
Hahyun was acting more reasonable than I’d expected. Still, I couldn’t let my guard down.
I gulped and delivered the words I’d prepared.
“The reason following stages of skinship is the art of seduction is… I know because I’m a man too. Men are usually like this, right? Before doing it, they act like they’d pluck the stars and moon from the sky for you, but once they get what they want, they lose interest in their partner.”
Even as I said these words, I found it hard to bear how pathetic I sounded. But I was like someone who’d fallen into deep water and needed to grab onto any straw.
I paused briefly and glanced at Hahyun, who was looking at me with an amused expression. I took it as a good sign that he wasn’t interrupting me or forcibly touching my body.
“So that’s it. I have no memories now, and all I have is my body. If I give everything I have and your heart leaves me, what will I do?”
Hahyun’s lips twitched as if he was trying hard not to laugh. Even though he was smiling, I was anxious, not knowing what he’d say next.
“That’s the reason you came up with? You must think I’m an idiot, hyung. For words to have power, they must contain sincerity.”
Hahyun added at the end, “Sincerity, sincerity,” repeating the same word several times. His words pricked my conscience because they were true. The skinship stages weren’t created to seduce them but to avoid them. I had nothing to say and could only gape at him.
