Chapter 16
At my words, Hajin looked at me with interest, while Hahyun clutched his chest, swallowing hard like a child exhausted from crying.
“I don’t understand why you’re both so obsessed with me. But you both want me to stay by your side, right?”
As expected, Hahyun was always the quickest to respond.
“Of course! If hyung just promises to always stay by my side, I think I’d be less anxious.”
Hajin kept his mouth closed, appearing lost in thought. I wished I could peek into his mind just once to see what he was thinking so intently. After closing his eyes for a moment, he finally opened them and pressed his temple as if he had a headache.
“Yes. I’d like you to stay by my side too.”
Finally, the answer I wanted. These brothers really are something. They push things to the extreme, only to eventually follow my lead anyway.
Now that I look at them, they’re kind of cute… I stopped that dangerous thought and quickly regained my senses. These guys are criminals. They kidnapped and imprisoned Yoon Juwon while he was doing well as a model, and even threatened to lock him in the basement. That I could momentarily think such criminals were cute… Am I the real problem here?
“Alright. If you want me to stay by your side, then both of you need to stop thinking of me as your possession and respect me.”
“Yes!”
“…Well, that’s not particularly difficult.”
Their answers came so readily that it made me suspicious. Did they actually understand what I meant? It doesn’t seem like it…
My ominous feelings always turned out to be right. Hahyun, as if he’d never been crying, beamed widely and spouted nonsense.
“I won’t think of you as a possession. Since you said you’ll stay by my side, that means you’re mine, right?”
“…”
I was so dumbfounded I stayed silent, and then even Hajin, whom I’d trusted, joined in the nonsense.
“So, you’re saying you have no intention of running away, and while you’re with us, you want us to love you, right?”
He was better than Hahyun, but Hajin also missed the point. I wasn’t asking for love but respect… I considered letting it go to avoid making things worse, but decided to try since I didn’t know when I’d get another opportunity like this.
“You’re both wrong. I have no intention of being Hahyun-ssi’s possession, and I’m not begging for love from Hajin-ssi.”
“…What? Then what is it?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
They both stared at me with shocked expressions. I pondered how to make them understand and decided to change my words to a language they could comprehend. Even if the meaning changed slightly, I compromised with myself that it was fine as long as I achieved my goal.
“If Hajin-ssi doesn’t touch my body carelessly, and Hahyun-ssi doesn’t threaten me, my heart might open up, and I might want to have physical contact with both of you. Meaning, I’ll do it when I feel like it. Do you understand?”
That felt satisfying. Since I’d decided to understand them to some extent and not run away, I wanted the brothers to stop forcing skinship on me when I found it difficult. If only this problem could be solved, the rest of the complicated issues could be addressed step by step.
They both looked at my face with their mouths shut. I felt a bit sorry, wondering if my refusal of skinship was too harsh, but it couldn’t be helped.
Surprisingly, Hajin was the first to speak.
“Is this an extension of what you told me earlier?”
“What? An extension?”
“Earlier, you said it was hard for your body to move?”
I looked at Hajin with a pitiful expression, seeing an opportunity to create an appropriate excuse. When our eyes met, Hajin’s blue eyes wavered. I looked straight at him and smiled sadly. Hajin sighed deeply. Then Hahyun flared up again.
“What, what is this! What’s going on between you two! Something just passed between you that only I don’t know about. Is this how it’s going to be? I knew it. I can’t… mu… uh, mmph.”
I covered Hahyun’s mouth before he could say he was going to tie me up. Since Hahyun had relaxed his grip, it was easy to restrain him.
“It’s not like that. I can’t remember my past, but I seem to have some trauma related to physical intimacy, so I asked Hajin-ssi about it. And that’s his reaction.”
Hahyun’s eyes widened as he looked at me, as if wondering how I knew that. Thinking that I might be able to persuade Hahyun with this as well, I suppressed my urge to smile and removed my hand from his mouth.
“There’s no such thing!”
As expected, it was foolish of me to think I could easily persuade a crazy person like Hahyun.
“Well… if hyung says so, I guess there’s nothing I can do. But still, you kissed Hajin hyung, didn’t you? But you haven’t kissed me. You do it with Hajin and tell him to wait, but I’m supposed to just wait without doing anything? Until Juwon hyung feels like it? Do you think that makes sense?”
Hahyun’s body moved very close to mine as he spoke with a wronged expression. To be fair, there wasn’t a contradiction in what he was saying. Moreover, for Hahyun, who thought it important to gain an advantage through comparison with Seo Hajin, this was not an issue he could simply overlook. But that doesn’t mean I could just kiss Hahyun here, does it?
As I sighed, not knowing what to say, Hahyun couldn’t wait and pressed his lips against mine. I quickly pushed his shoulder, and Hahyun started whimpering again, throwing a tantrum.
“Hyuuung… tell me if what I’m saying is wrong. I’m not saying I won’t listen to you, I’m saying I’ll be good and listen to everything, so why aren’t you saying anything? You should let me do what you did with Hajin hyung and then tell me to be patient. It’s really unfair. If this is how it’s going to be, then I’ll just pretend none of this ever…”
Guessing what he was about to say, I hurriedly interrupted him.
“Ah, fine! Let’s do it. Isn’t that what you want?”
After placating Hahyun, I glanced toward Hajin. Though he didn’t like it, Hajin crossed his arms and turned his head with a resigned expression.
“I won’t watch, so finish quickly!”
“No way. Hyung, you watch clearly. Me kissing Yoon Juwon. You need to feel as much pain as I do for it to be fair.”
Is he insane? No, I knew he was insane, but this statement was so much crazier than I expected that it made my head spin. Why on earth did I step forward to try and make these people into normal human beings?
“Turn your head quickly!”
“Fuck.”
What was really funny was that Hajin turned his head toward us even while cursing. If a child is talking nonsense, you should either stop them or teach them, not go along with it. It seemed Hajin was somewhat responsible for Hahyun being so crazy.
While I was staring blankly at Hajin in astonishment, Hahyun bit my lower lip hard.
“Where are you looking? We’re going to kiss, so close your eyes.”
I sighed again and closed my eyes. Even though I’d already kissed Hajin once, I couldn’t get used to kissing a man, and groans escaped between our pressed lips. But even those moans were devoured by Hahyun.
Hahyun was like an angry beast. He couldn’t adjust his pace according to my reactions like Hajin did, and he didn’t even support the back of my head, so it banged against the wall. This raw kiss was rough and unpredictable, just like Hahyun himself.
“Ha, ha, ha…”
He didn’t even give me time to part my lips momentarily, so I had to take short breaths in between. Hahyun, who’d pushed my body against the wall like Hajin had done, touched various parts of my body while hastily devouring my lips as if he’d swallow them whole.
The urgent and rough kiss continued for quite some time, giving me no chance to think or refuse.
“That’s enough, isn’t it?”
Though Hajin signaled for him to stop, Hahyun didn’t seem to hear his voice. I pushed him away with all my strength.
“S-stop… That’s enough.”
“Haa, haa… ha… Hyung, I, I mean…”
Hahyun rushed at me frantically. This time, holding me tightly in his arms, he kept rubbing his lips on my forehead, nose, cheeks, lips, without stopping, whispering, “I like you.” Despite the rough kiss, my body, which had remained rational, started to sway. Weak currents flowed wherever his lips and hands touched.
Even with such clear sensations, I couldn’t admit that I was melting under Seo Hahyun’s touch. Feeling that something terrible would happen if we continued, I signaled to Hajin, who was behind Hahyun’s shoulder, with my eyes. Hajin forcibly pulled Hahyun away.
“Play fair. You went longer than I did.”
“Fuck! It was so good…”
“We’ve kissed whenever you felt like it before. You’ve even done more than that, so why are you acting like this now?”
Hahyun spoke with a dazed expression.
“This was different from those times. This time… I mean… hic…”
Hahyun started to sob again. I couldn’t understand why he was crying when I’d given him what he wanted.
“Now I can’t do whatever I want anymore, but it still feels so good. Why is that? Hyung, do you know why? It’s suddenly so good. How much better would it have been when I could force it? Now I have to wait until Juwon hyung feels like it, how can I endure that?”
Hajin sighed and said:
“It must be because it’s a kiss where feelings are exchanged. And it probably means that for feelings to be exchanged, time is needed.”
As expected of Seo Hajin… He understood exactly what I meant to say but pretended not to for his own advantage. Hajin was definitely not someone to be taken lightly.
“I think I liked that Juwon hyung seemed to be feeling it a little. He’s never acted that seductively before.”
“Right? It seems he’s determined to kill us.”
At Hajin’s words, Hahyun sat down on the floor and started to sob loudly.
“Fuuuck! You were like that with hyung too. I thought you were only like that with me and was happy about it. You’re so mean. Is this torture or what? Making me completely give up, then giving me hope because you lost your memory, then telling me to wait… Yoon Juwon is really crazy.”
I think you’re the crazy one…
