The moment Chairman Kim mentioned Juwon’s name, Hajin knew instinctively. The unbelievable fact that Chairman Kim had been Yoon Juwon’s sponsor was true. Hajin concealed his rising anger behind a poker face and played innocent.
“I really don’t know what you mean.”
“You really don’t know… It seems you want confirmation from my own mouth. You resemble your father in that way.”
“Haha, there’s nothing wrong with being precise.”
“The kid was quite cute. That’s why I told him. That there would be good news for real estate in Area A soon.”
Hajin made a “hmm” sound, pretending to be interested.
“You didn’t tell him the exact timing?”
“I was going to, but the kid wasn’t so easy to deal with. So I told him. That when our company’s stocks rise, the real estate good news would happen simultaneously.”
As the scenario he had anticipated matched perfectly, Hajin clenched his fist. Strength entered his tightly closed fist. To hide his emotions, Hajin bowed respectfully.
“Thank you. Thanks to you, I gained a good opportunity.”
“So? Have you come to give me a gift? Or to let me meet the kid again?”
Hajin slowly raised his head. The oily face was smiling unpleasantly. He wanted to slap that face, but he held back and spoke.
“I don’t know if it will be the gift you expect, but I plan to give it to you soon. I stopped by to confirm that.”
His teeth ground between words as he couldn’t control his surging emotions. Chairman Kim, who had been looking at Hajin grinding his teeth while speaking with a puzzled expression, soon dismissed it as nothing and bid him farewell.
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
Hajin left without lingering.
He widened his eyes to avoid expressing his emotions. He walked toward the elevator that had just arrived.
He had already known what Yoon Juwon had done in the past. At that time, he had just pretended not to know. But he didn’t understand why it made him so angry now. It felt strangely new.
* * *
“Hyung, today we’ll eat lots of delicious food at home and watch a movie. Then in the warm afternoon, we’ll go for a walk with the wheelchair. After bathing…”
On the way home after being discharged from the hospital, Hahyun talked incessantly the entire drive.
“Yes, for now, focus on driving.”
“I can drive with my hands, what’s the problem?”
And he continued talking for a while. But I was only half listening to Hahyun’s words. It was because Hajin hadn’t shown up until the day of my discharge.
What could be keeping him so busy?
Because I was thinking about this, even while Hahyun was beside me taking care of me, my attention was completely focused on Hajin.
“Hyung.”
“…”
“Hyuuung! Hyung!”
“Yes, I’m listening.”
“What was I just talking about? You said you were listening.”
I was in trouble. I hadn’t been listening to Hahyun because I was thinking about Hajin.
“Um, eating and walking…”
Screech! Hahyun quickly changed lanes and pulled the car over to the side of the road. The sudden stop made my body lurch forward. It was fortunate that I was in the back seat and wearing a seatbelt; otherwise, it could have been serious.
Gathering my composure and raising my head, I saw Hahyun glaring at me with a face that looked like he might cry.
“Hyung, are you really going to keep doing this?”
“Sorry I couldn’t listen. I think I dozed off for a moment. The medicine is still affecting me…”
“Don’t lie. You weren’t sleeping, you were thinking about something else.”
“No. I can sleep with my eyes open. When I zone out, that’s sleeping. I wasn’t thinking about anything else, I swear!”
Hahyun sighed and reached his hand toward me. His white, slender hand gently stroked my cast.
“I know what you’re thinking about. If you weren’t hurt, I wouldn’t have told you…”
I looked at Hahyun with wide eyes. Hahyun looked at my face with disapproval before looking down at my leg and sighing.
“Because you’re hurt, I’ll tell you. Hajin hyung is busy with company business right now. He said not to worry because it’s not a big issue. He entrusted you to me for now. So…”
I waited for Hahyun’s next words, holding my breath. Seeing me like this, Hahyun cursed, “Fuck, you’re pretending otherwise but you were really thinking about Seo Hajin!” and continued.
“Don’t feel too disappointed that he couldn’t come today. If you feel disappointed because of Hajin hyung, I feel even more disappointed! Do you know how fucking awful it is to have to pretend not to see when your lover is cheating right in front of you? I’m really holding back, so you should ease up too.”
I was speechless because every word Hahyun said was right. I know. I know how much he’s been patient and understanding of me despite his strong obsession and possessiveness… However, knowing doesn’t mean I can control my feelings. Normally, I would have been grateful and relieved that he let it go, but seeing Hahyun gradually improving, I ended up expressing my true feelings.
“And what about me? How fucking awful do you think it is to love the person in front of me to death, yet still miss the person who isn’t here? Fuck, I’m also trying hard not to show it, but what can I do if I can’t help it? So every time I see you, I feel guilty and like I’m garbage.”
Hahyun seemed shocked and just stared at me silently. Eventually, even his hands started to tremble. Is he starting to show abnormal symptoms again? Thinking I’d said something unnecessary, I called Hahyun’s name, and he stopped trembling and met my gaze again.
“…That means you like us equally.”
I was about to correct myself, to say no, that I like you more, but thinking I might not get another chance like this, I nodded slightly. Then Hahyun covered his forehead with both arms and bowed his head.
“I’m trying to decide quickly too. But what can I do if it’s not easy? Please… I mean…”
Hahyun slowly raised his head. An emotionless gaze was looking at me. He seemed to be suppressing his emotions, taking a deep breath before speaking.
“I guess I was mistaken.”
“Huh? What do you…”
“I thought it was obvious that you loved me more. But that you weren’t showing it because you felt sorry for Hajin hyung…”
“Hahyun.”
“Just a moment. Listen to everything I have to say first, and then if you have something to say, go ahead. I’ll listen.”
I nodded. It was already a relief that Seo Hahyun was continuing to speak in such a stable state.
“There’s no way you would love me more… Why did I think that? I’m such a fool. No. I won’t think negative thoughts. That might lead to misunderstandings and make you hate me… At least you don’t completely hate me, so there’s still a chance for me, right? Right?”
From his fluttering eyelashes, his fists clenched so tightly that the backs of his hands turned white, and his trembling voice, I could feel how confused he was. It felt like a huge boulder was sitting in my chest, making my heart heavy.
In fact, just a moment ago, when Hahyun mentioned how difficult it was, I was about to say that it was all their fault that I ended up like this. That both of them approached me at the same time, and I chose neither to survive… and somehow I ended up liking them both…
But I couldn’t say such things to Hahyun, who looked like he might collapse at any moment. So I could only place my hand over Hahyun’s pale hand and speak soothingly.
“That’s right, Hahyun. Though it’s probably impossible, I don’t want either of you to get hurt. Because I love you both.”
Hahyun looked at me with an expression suggesting he had a lot to say. However, he seemed unable to speak easily and just moved his lips without words. Tension flowed through the silence, and only after a long while did Hahyun finally speak.
“I understand. I’ll just have to do better. Though I’m not confident… there’s no other way for now.”
Hahyun, who was accepting reality calmly without crying or throwing a tantrum, actually looked more hurt. Was that why? My heart wavered helplessly as I looked at him.
“We’ve been stopped at the roadside for too long. Let’s go now.”
Hahyun turned around and grabbed the steering wheel again. The car began to speed along the quiet weekday morning road.
* * *
“What are you planning to do?”
Hyunwoo handed Hajin a list of names of people who had been in sponsor relationships with Yoon Juwon and asked.
“More importantly, how did you get this information?”
“It was circulating under the name of ‘Chairman Seo’s Secret List.’ The reason it wasn’t reported in the news was probably due to Chairman Seo’s influence. But why are you looking for all this?”
Hajin flipped through the documents with a bitter expression. It was a list he had deliberately pretended not to know about though he was curious. Why hadn’t he tried to resolve this quickly, knowing it would eventually come to this?
With each page he turned, as their personal information was exposed, Hajin’s heart crumbled. Only then did he understand why Yoon Juwon’s asset list, which he had discovered shortly after confining him, was so extensive.
“I knew it was a lot, but… this is…”
Seeing Hajin furrowing his brow so intensely that veins stood out on his temples, Hyunwoo held back his words. How many men could remain calm when faced with their lover’s dark past? At times like this, the best thing was to stay quiet and wait.
