* * *
As soon as Hahyun left for work, Hajin contacted me as if he had been waiting. He said he was on his way, and that I should do my morning exercise before he arrived. Since finding out why he made me exercise, I had been trying to do it without fail, but today I didn’t feel like it.
Yesterday, I should have grabbed Hajin and questioned him thoroughly, but I was fooled by his tired appearance, and lost another opportunity because of Hahyun making a scene.
So today, I firmly resolved not to move according to his pace no matter what.
I took a cold shower to clear my mind, then changed into neat clothes and stood in front of the mirror. By now, Yoon Juwon’s appearance had become familiar as if it were my own, but looking at myself all dressed up gave me a fresh feeling.
While I was putting on a shirt, tying a tie, and even wearing a watch, familiar footsteps gradually approached. He must have entered quietly, as it seemed like he was already climbing the stairs.
I heard the sound of a door on the second floor opening, followed by hurried footsteps that suddenly stopped.
Without turning around, I clenched my fist tightly. Soon, I heard his voice.
“So you were here? You must have heard me coming, so why didn’t you come out to greet me? I was surprised.”
My tightly clenched fist trembled at his utterly shameless words. I slowly turned around. Hajin tried to approach with a welcoming expression.
“Don’t come closer. Stay there and talk.”
“…What’s wrong? Are you angry?”
How can he even ask that…
“I guess you are angry.”
Seeing Hajin’s face, all sorts of emotions surged up at once. It was a complex feeling of anger and irritation, but also happiness to see him. Perhaps because of this, I wanted to glare at him directly, but I couldn’t do it well. My vision kept getting blurry, as if I had caught something from Hahyun.
“I came straight here without sleeping at all to get here quickly. Come here.”
He opened his arms. Unconsciously wanting to go to him, I was about to take a step but stopped. If I stayed like this, I would get caught up in his pace again. He lowered his arms. His curious gaze scanned me up and down.
“You got all dressed up prettily while waiting for me, so why look at me with those eyes?”
“Are you asking because you don’t know? I didn’t dress up prettily… shit, fuck.”
“…”
I hadn’t meant to curse, but it just came out. I didn’t know why my mood was becoming so miserable. Even though I knew Hajin loved me enough to endure sacrifices, somehow his twisted affection was too overwhelming to handle.
At least Hahyun was honest because he was afraid of being hated by me, but Hajin would make his own judgments, commit actions, and not even confess what he had done to the other person.
“You know I’m sorry and worried.”
Hajin kept his gaze on me and just nodded.
“Then, why…”
My throat choked up, making it difficult to speak.
Hajin approached one step at a time. I could only glare at him without being able to tell him not to come. At a distance close enough for our bodies to touch, Hajin reached out and embraced me.
“Even I didn’t have things properly sorted out. Now I can talk, so calm down and ask me step by step, okay?”
At his gentle voice, my body, stiff with tension, gradually relaxed. He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. When his lips touched the nape of my neck, a hot breath spread across my skin.
“I’ll answer you. So don’t hate me too much.”
Even though I knew I shouldn’t fall for it again, my heart melted at his single promise to answer me.
Hajin lifted my waist and sat me on top of a low drawer. He took a large bite of my neck and sucked it forcefully. With an intensity that made me feel like my whole face would be sucked in, I hunched over and placed my hands on his head. His hair felt soft between my fingers.
As he sucked on my neck and buried his nose in my hair, he bit my neck once more before lifting his head.
“Haah… this will make us short on time to talk again. I’d better stop here for today.”
“…”
Though it was what I had wanted, why did I feel strangely disappointed?
Afraid that these inner thoughts might be discovered, I pushed his shoulder and went out first.
“Come out. Let’s eat.”
A suspicious voice came from behind me.
“…Who made the food?”
“Hahyun made it, so you don’t need to worry.”
“Phew, I’ll wash up first.”
The sound of his relieved sigh was so blatant that I felt like hitting him.
I set out the food Hahyun had prepared on the table. The tie felt cumbersome after a long time, so I flipped it behind me.
“Haha, see? Why did you wait with a tie on? So tempting.”
I turned my head and glared at Hajin. He was sitting in a chair wearing a comfortable shirt. I loosened my tie and sat across from him, picking up my chopsticks.
The table was full of things I liked, but Hajin ate well without complaining. He seemed hungry as he chewed and swallowed quickly, but due to his ingrained table manners, he still looked neat.
After swallowing the food in his mouth, Hajin looked at me and smiled.
“You seem a bit more relaxed now. Is the prosecution’s investigation completely over?”
At my question, Hajin frowned but didn’t avoid answering.
“Unofficially, it’s over; officially, it’s not yet finished. I’m trying to work with the prosecution to put Secretary Kim away, but for that to happen, Secretary Kim shouldn’t notice anything.”
I felt relieved by his more detailed answer than expected. If he had tried to avoid answering today as well, I might have resorted to violence.
“So there’s no worry about you being detained?”
“No.”
Hajin seemed to have finished his meal as he put down his spoon and poured some water. Although I had heard what I was most curious about, the suspicion that he might have lied to reassure me hadn’t subsided.
If Hajin was planning to trap Secretary Kim with the prosecutor, he should have already obtained incriminating evidence against Secretary Kim, but I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t disclosed it from the beginning. He could have revealed it on the day of the board meeting…
When strong plausibility emerged that the suspicion Hahyun had almost brainwashed into me might be true, I started to feel anxious again.
Hajin observed my face carefully before casually saying:
“I thought I’d be bombarded with questions, but don’t you have anything else you’re curious about?”
“…”
Right, I could just ask. Why didn’t he reveal it then? Why did he choose the dangerous path…?
But I was afraid to ask that way. It felt like I was standing in front of Pandora’s box, which would cause no trouble if left closed, but might ruin everything if opened out of curiosity.
However, I couldn’t continue to view Hajin with these emotions.
“Why did you do it?”
I asked just that, leaving many questions behind. I almost hoped Hajin would jump up in protest. I wished he would pretend not to know what I was asking about and get angry, asking why I was needlessly suspicious of him.
But Hajin silently tapped his fingers on the table. His anxious expression made me uneasy, but I couldn’t take back the words I had already spoken.
“You know what I’m asking, so you can’t say you don’t know how to answer.”
Hajin nodded. A few strands of hair that hadn’t been combed back fell below his forehead. He slowly opened his mouth.
“One wasn’t enough to crush him to the point where he couldn’t recover. I needed to gather more evidence, but as the CEO, all eyes were on me. So my plan was to pretend to step down, loosen his guard, and then thoroughly crush him so he couldn’t do the same thing again.”
From his articulate speech where not a single word was wasted, his confident voice, and the way he never avoided my gaze, it didn’t seem like he was lying.
“Then you could have just told me that. So I wouldn’t worry…”
Hajin, who had been quietly listening to me, smiled gently. It was just a small crease at the corners of his eyes, but it made my heart tingle.
“I was surprised by how much more you worried than I expected. The reason I didn’t tell you was because nothing was certain. It could have failed later.”
Hah, I let out a sigh of exasperation.
“What do you really think of me?”
He raised his eyebrows.
“What does that mean all of a sudden?”
“What would it matter if you failed? Did you think I would hate you for it?”
“…”
“You’re really the only one who’s so great. The smartest person in the world, making the people around you feel so disappointed.”
Whether it was because I had unintentionally spoken informally as if talking to myself, or because he was surprised that I was saying the same thing as Hahyun, Hajin’s eyes widened. I didn’t care and kept saying whatever came to mind.
“Why? Surprised by my sudden informal speech? You said we’re the same age. So I can speak informally.”
“…Whatever.”
Seeing his displeased expression, it seems he had liked that I had been using formal speech all this time, even if he hadn’t shown it.
“Seo Hajin, what makes you so great that you try to shoulder everything alone?”
“I never said that.”
“Yes, you did. From what I’ve heard, you have many people helping you… starting with Park Hyunwoo all the way to Director Seo Sanghyun.”
Hajin frowned.
“That bastard Seo Hahyun, saying unnecessary things…”
“Don’t blame Hahyun. You make those people feel hurt too, right? Do they say they’re frustrated or disappointed with you?”
Hajin’s shoulders flinched. It seemed like I had hit the nail on the head. It was a wonder that he had people by his side when he lived as if he were alone in the world.
Unlike when he had confidently said he had a plan, his shoulders were now slumped, which made me feel mixed emotions again. I wondered if I had been too harsh on him. To change the atmosphere, I softened my voice.
“I understand that you had to survive under Chairman Seo somehow, so you can’t easily trust people and hate showing weakness…”
A desolate, murky aura emanated from Hajin’s face. It seemed like it would crumble like sand if touched.
“But you don’t have to be like that anymore. You have Hahyun, and me, and reliable friends…”
