Chapter 9
“Wow, shit, is amnesia really like this? Fucking hilarious.”
I considered laughing along with the mood, but thought better of it. For a lie to be effective, I needed to stick to my initial position no matter how absurd it seemed.
I burst out angrily at both of them.
“Excuse me, aren’t you taking this too far? Seriously, you shouldn’t toy with people like this.”
The smile disappeared from Hahyun’s face, and Hajin looked at me with a frown. They both seemed surprised by my sudden outburst.
“Hyuuung… are you angry at me right now?”
I continued my act with complete seriousness.
“Yes, I’m angry. Because I’m upset.”
“Why, why?”
Hahyun moved closer and asked, while Hajin kept his eyes fixed on my face, listening intently. Though I worried this approach might not work and my mouth kept going dry, having come this far, I had nowhere to retreat.
“Why am I angry? For you two, love might just be something to laugh about, but not for me. I believe love is an emotion that should be treated more seriously than any other feeling.”
Hajin pretended to hide his expression and acted like he was listening attentively, but I could clearly see Hahyun clenching his jaw so hard his cheeks trembled as he tried to hold back laughter. Continuing with this nonsensical drivel in such a situation made me feel pathetic to the point of madness. When I paused briefly, Hajin urged me on. “Why did you stop? This is fascinating.”
“I really can’t believe this. If you’ve been caring for me instead of locking me up in a mental hospital even though I was supposedly crazy, there must be a reason, right? That’s not just ordinary affection. I thought you two genuinely cared for and loved me, but you’re laughing… I’m really disappointed.”
The more I spoke, the more the smile faded from Hahyun’s face. Hajin also let out a long sigh.
“Two, two people…”
As Hahyun mumbled what I’d said as if talking to himself, Hajin sighed again.
“Our Juwon has really become a different person. I’m so moved, truly.”
Based on their reactions, I should have been pleased that my approach was working on these lunatics. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going wrong. If Hajin was pleased that I’d truly become a different person, he should have been smiling instead of sighing.
What is it? What could it be… It seems like there’s something I don’t know about them…
Just then, Hahyun whispered in my ear.
“Hyung, just tell me privately. The person you’re thinking of seriously is me, right? Not Hajin hyung.”
“…”
Hajin spoke up as if he’d been waiting.
“Yoon Juwon, the person you talked about progressing seriously with is me, isn’t it? So why did you say ‘two people’ instead of Seo Hajin? Is your idea of serious love something that can be divided?”
“…”
Faced with an unexpected question, I gaped at them both in turn. Beyond the mountain, I crossed the sea, only to find a cliff beyond that sea… How could this happen?
Until now, I’d been able to use quick thinking to manage problems, but when it came to choosing between the two, I was simply dumbfounded. No, from the start, talking about serious love while mentioning “two people” was itself contradictory. As Hajin said, true love couldn’t be something that could be divided.
How do I fix this?
“When I said two people…”
As I began to speak, Hahyun grabbed my arm and gulped, while Hajin bit his lip so hard it turned white. I turned my gaze away, not wanting to look at either of them, and continued.
“It’s because I feel grateful to both of you.”
“Shit.”
“How can that be? You’ve only just started looking at me, and you say both? This is ridiculous!”
They reacted as I’d expected to the “both” conclusion. The answer was unpleasant for them, but they weren’t angry enough to lose control, which was fine. I could breathe a sigh of relief by not choosing either of them, but I couldn’t relax my guard since they always acted unpredictably.
“Please try to understand my position. I’m seeing both of you for the first time today. Isn’t it too early to fall in love?”
“What are you talking about?”
At Hajin’s words, Hahyun nodded as if in agreement. I was going crazy because even Hajin, who’d understood me well before, was now pretending not to understand.
“Haah… What I mean is, since I met you for the first time today, it would be strange for me to say I love either one of you right now. Even if I said it, it would be a lie. Honestly, I just feel attracted to both of you. If you can’t even understand that much, I have nothing more to say.”
When I finished speaking, they looked at each other with confused expressions. Hahyun was the first to speak.
“Hmm… well, since you’ve lost your memory, I suppose that makes sense. Actually, when hyung was talking about love and wanting to progress seriously earlier, I didn’t believe it. It doesn’t make sense, right? How could someone who’s lost their memory know us well enough to think that way? But hearing your explanation now, I understand. You think we’re your life saviors… ah, saviors, of course. That makes sense.”
Hajin, who’d been listening quietly, added:
“So, you can’t choose yet? You need to observe a bit more to know?”
I nodded. I knew I’d only avoided the immediate crisis and would need another strategy to resolve this, but I had to put out the fire at my feet before thinking about the future.
***
They pushed me into the bathroom. Thinking it would be better to be in the water than outside, I was heading toward the bathtub when I paused, catching sight of myself in the mirror.
The person in the mirror was completely different. Unable to believe it even after seeing it, I moved my hand and touched my face. The person in the mirror moved exactly the same way.
The fact that hadn’t really sunk in when I hadn’t seen myself hit me hard when I looked in the mirror.
I’ve really become Yoon Juwon. Because Kim Sojin is dead…
As I stood there feeling numb while looking at the mirror, I heard the door opening.
“Why aren’t you getting in?”
Turning around at Hajin’s voice, the scene before me instantly dispelled the numbness I’d just felt.
Crazy…
Unknowingly, my eyes traced Hajin’s body. As expected of a model, his sleek body stretched out in a straight line. It was an impressively toned physique that naturally drew admiration.
“If your eyes are already so heated before getting in, what will happen later?”
“It’s not like that.”
I quickly turned my gaze away and got into the bathtub. Shortly after, I heard Hahyun coming in. Intentionally, I didn’t turn my head, not wanting to repeat the shock I’d felt seeing Hajin.
With Hahyun getting in too, the large bathtub became crowded. Hajin smiled subtly.
“Juwon, shall we make progress? Hmm?”
“Hyung, move over a bit. It’s cramped.”
“…”
I was curled up tightly, sandwiched between the two brothers.
“Hahyun, call someone tomorrow and replace this bathtub immediately. Or should we build an open-air bath on the rooftop?”
“Oh, that’s a good idea. Hyung! What was it called? Hinoki wood? If we use that, the atmosphere would be perfect.”
Even if they made a bathtub tomorrow, it wouldn’t help me escape this cramped situation right now. You crazy bastards…
Thinking about what happened just before getting into the bathtub made me feel even more heated.
<Can’t we just wash separately?>
Before entering the bathtub, I’d sincerely asked if we could wash separately. Then they suddenly changed their attitude and started talking nonsense.
<What were you thinking, our Juwon? Why would a men’s bath be called a men’s bath? Because it’s natural for men to bathe together—that’s why it’s a men’s bath.>
<…That’s right. What on earth were you thinking? Are you a pervert? We don’t have any thoughts like that, but you’re acting strange.>
If I’d said anything more, I would have seemed like the weird one, so I had to stay quiet. Why did I try so hard not to take off my underwear in the first place? If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have had to face the problem of choosing between them, and the two brothers wouldn’t have competitively entered the bathtub together to impress me…
In the end, because of underwear I would’ve had to remove anyway, I’d dug my own grave and walked into it willingly. I felt so wronged I could almost cry.
Hajin, who was on my left, wrapped his hand around my waist.
“Since Hahyun says it’s cramped, do you want to move closer to this side?”
As I tensed my whole body to resist, Hahyun firmly grabbed my ankle.
“Don’t try to sneak him away—hand him over here.”
I’m not some object! What do you mean “hand over,” you crazy bastard?
“Then let’s do this—I’ll sit Juwon on my lap, and you can sit next to us.”
“Oh… good idea.”
Without asking for my opinion, they each settled into their positions. The men who’d just been saying “why would a men’s bath be called a men’s bath” and “what’s wrong with men bathing together” had now turned into lecherous fiends, laughing as they splashed water all over my body.
I desperately wanted to cry, but I pitied my own situation—having to force a smile every time I made eye contact with them.
