Ren, I Can’t Leave You Behind
“Temarr. I didn’t know you were someone who couldn’t understand words this badly.”
He shook off the bloody past that had risen up, thoughts that had now become indifferent. It was nothing to him.
Even at Ruman’s dumbfounded voice, Temarr didn’t care.
He simply passed by Ruman and opened the cabin door.
Ruman felt almost hurt himself.
“Temarr, why the hell did you put it there?”
How much effort would it take to get that in this small village?
Whether Temarr saw Ruman’s furrowed brow or not, there was no answer. Ruman, who had been following him in, grabbed his arm. Temarr obediently stopped.
“Ruman.”
“?”
“Is Ren sleeping?”
“Ha. Yeah. He’s asleep.”
Was he always this kind of person?
The man who was quiet but did his job properly, didn’t hesitate to help others, and led by example as the leader figure of the Hero group was this bad at communication?
Ruman was dumbfounded.
Even if he’s excellent as a Hero, that doesn’t mean he’s a good person to get along with.
Ruman himself wasn’t in a position to talk about others, but at least he felt he could be a better hyung than Temarr.
Somehow it seemed wrong to clear up the misunderstanding between the two.
“I have to take him.”
“Will Ren want to go?”
“……”
Seeing Temarr’s expression darken was truly satisfying.
“Earlier he was crying saying ‘Hyung is a stupid idiot!!'”
Ruman smiled nastily as he mimicked the words he’d cleverly picked up from the slurred pronunciation.
“Ren cried?”
Temarr’s eyes widened.
As if he couldn’t believe Ren had cried.
“Yeah. He was bawling, you know?”
“In front of you.”
“Right? He cried so much he almost pass—”
Thud.
Whoosh.
When Temarr stomped his foot, dust and powder fell from the ceiling.
Well, well.
The floor caved in with the shape of Temarr’s foot.
“…ed out.”
“……”
“What’s wrong?”
“……”
“I’m wondering if we need to reevaluate you as a Hero. Your communication skills are really the worst.”
At Ruman’s words, Temarr flinched and ran his hand through his hair.
The shadow cast over his expressionless face looked darker than when entering a Dragon’s lair to rescue a princess.
Temarr’s thick lips twitched before he slowly opened his mouth.
“I’m not trustworthy.”
“What are you talking about out of nowhere?”
Ruman rubbed the back of his head roughly as if annoyed.
Golden strands tangled in Ruman’s hand.
“Because I’m lacking as a Hero.”
“……”
“……”
The cabin was dark with the night that had approached.
When Ruman opened his palm, yellow light spread like fireflies, warmly illuminating the cabin.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“……”
Temarr’s mouth opened and closed.
As if even he had difficulty explaining what he meant, his terribly furrowed brow seemed angry.
‘Poor Ren.’
To think I’d come to understand a person I’ve just met this much. Since it’s time to retire, I guess even I have times like this.
The two people quietly facing each other.
The first to break the silence was Ruman.
“Ren’s never cried in front of you?”
Temarr only nodded.
‘Now that I look at it, are his eyes bad too?’
When he brought the letter, when Ren got angry and went outside at the mention of going together, when Temarr tried to take that vermin’s life—wasn’t Ren crying all those times? Crying isn’t just shedding tears in streams, you know.
“……”
“……”
It would be long to explain. And it wasn’t his place to explain.
Above all… even if he explained, it didn’t seem like Temarr would understand.
“So Ren not crying in front of you is because you’re lacking as a Hero. That’s your conclusion?”
“Yeah.”
“…Could putting the gift in the storage be the same, uh, context?”
Ruman gestured in the air as if the word wasn’t coming to him easily. Following his hand, yellow lights circled around like flying insects.
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
Ruman just shook his head and swallowed his words. Even if he said it, that brain wouldn’t understand. Rather than tire his mouth explaining, Ruman decided to achieve his goal.
“Ah. If you’ve finished packing, we need to leave at dawn. Wake him if you’re taking him. They said not to delay.”
Ruman’s face became as cold as when he knocked on the cabin door.
In fact, both of them were more familiar with this face.
When Temarr went in to wake Ren, Ruman infused mana into the Crystal Orb he’d borrowed from Temarr earlier.
A message to return quickly had been left. Ruman left a simple reply and walked to the room where Ren was.
***
“…en. Ren. Wake up.”
I’m tired.
It feels like a hand is coming out of the bed to drag me in.
Ungh.
“Ren.”
Who keeps calling me?
My head was throbbing and my throat hurt.
Ah, come to think of it, I couldn’t take my medicine. It’d be terrible if I have a seizure like this. My consciousness was hazy.
“Wake up, Ren. We have to leave.”
Where are we going? This is home. We just settled… leave? Leaving? Hyung!
“Hyung!”
I opened my eyes wide and sat up.
For a moment, anemia hit and my head spun.
“Hyung!!”
Don’t go! Don’t go!
When I hugged his upper body, I felt a hot, solid body.
Thank goodness. He hasn’t left yet. He’s still, still by my side.
“Ren. Let’s go.”
“Where do you keep saying let’s go…”
Hyung slowly removed my hands.
My dizzy vision returned and when I saw hyung’s face, the situation just before I collapsed came back to me.
Fuck!
Without a single word asking if I’m okay, hyung who took that bastard to the doctor!!
“Ren. Let’s go to the capital.”
Hyung said let’s go nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened.
How can you do that? Hyung! Why did you do that earlier!! No matter what, you should have at least let me hit that bastard once, shouldn’t you?
“I don’t want to!”
My voice came out hoarse because my throat was locked up.
Hyung’s eyes widened. Seeing that face, the frustration seemed to fade a little.
“Ren! Why won’t you listen!!”
“…!! Why won’t I listen? You’re the one… have you ever listened to me even once!?”
“What are you talking about, Ren?”
Temarr hyung has no idea!
Every time you were drafted as a Hero and left for the kingdom, you don’t know how desperate my heart was when I held onto you, begging you not to go.
“Forget it. Even if I tell you, you won’t understand anyway.”
“Ren! Why are you like this today?”
“……”
Temarr hyung’s voice, always in a similar tone, seemed to have a bit of sadness in it. Though his face was still hard as a rock. Even the surprised expression from earlier had already disappeared.
Hyung seemed to be trying to treat me with patience, like disciplining a disobedient younger brother. Just like when the village elders scold me! It was the exact same expression as back then! It was a face similar to the pharmacist old man too. The old man who tried to persuade me to tell hyung about my illness had made that expression.
Ridiculous.
“I can’t leave you behind. We have to go, Ren. Even if you don’t want to, I’m sorry but I can’t grant that. Seeing you today, you living alone is impossible.”
When I met hyung’s eyes looking at me while speaking firmly…
“…Shit.”
I have nothing to say.
Those words firmly saying we have to go together… I’m happy without any pride!! I’m happy!!
Even though my face was heating up from frustration, I couldn’t say I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to say it! Yeah, I wanted to follow hyung wherever he went too! I just didn’t say it because I’d obviously be a hindrance, and all I did was hold onto him saying don’t go.
My chest swelled up.
But, is it really okay to go? Won’t I be a burden? No! I’ll definitely be a burden! My body is trash!!
Can I hide it well?
The pharmacist old man said I have to be careful, that my heart could break and I could die at any time. He said if I want to live long and thin, I have to live as carefully as possible.
“Ren.”
Hyung’s hot hand took mine.
It was a careful touch, unlike hyung.
“I got it!! I said I got it!”
After quickly answering in case hyung would ask again, I bit my lip.
I’m annoyed! I’m annoyed but I’m happy! And it’s ridiculous! I can handle my own problems by myself, you know? Just watch, hyung. I’ll definitely be helpful too!
I’ll show you a dignified side.
I made a resolution while clenching my fist with the hand hidden under the blanket.
“Are you two done?”
“!”
Damn it.
That guy still hasn’t left? Isn’t it okay for him to leave first!
…How embarrassing.
Before Ruman could look at me, I quickly lowered my gaze.
Crying embarrassingly in front of someone I just met. I’m beyond saving.
“We have to go. Ren.”
“Ren. Rudely, you should answer.”
“Why!”
“Yeah, it’s better when you’re feisty. Pack your things. Hmm. But can you leave? Your face is ashen.”
“Are ordinary people normally this weak?”
As if waiting, hyung asked Ruman.
While doing so, hyung grabbed my forearm and wrist several times, which were way too small in hyung’s hands.
“Let go! Why are you grabbing someone else’s arm!”
“……”
“Hmm. As if I’ve seen ordinary people before? Temarr, your forearms are abnormally large though. More than that, are you okay?”
Ridiculous. Are all Heroes like this? Though I’m glad he’s speaking nonchalantly…
Why are you asking like you’re really worried, so casually? When you’re not really worried.
I closed my mouth tightly, embarrassed to yell like before.
Because the room was small, when Ruman took two steps, he was right in front of my nose. Before I could avoid him, he covered my forehead with his hand, then tilted his head as if comparing while placing his hand on his own forehead.
