Resolution to Leave (2)
“Old man, please help me. Help me so I don’t get caught. Just until we get to the capital, so I don’t die. Please, old man. I can’t tell hyung even if I die. I can’t tell hyung.”
“Ren……”
The old man called my name pitifully and shook his head.
Then he hugged me. The old man’s back was bent and his legs hurt so he couldn’t walk for long. So even though he’s shorter than me, strangely the old man’s embrace had plenty of room even holding me. It was cozy. It was a warm and snug embrace like a cave.
The old man held me for a long time. I stayed in his embrace for a long time too. The old man muttered something against the top of my head, but his voice was so small I couldn’t hear it well. I think I heard a crooked pronunciation—could it not be the kingdom language?!
Oh no!
“Old man. You’ll help me, right?”
“…I will.”
The old man diligently explained the things laid out on the desk earlier. This is for when your stomach hurts, this is for when your head hurts, this is for when you have a seizure.
“Normally, you just need to take this herb. Brew it like tea the same way.”
“Got it! They all look similar to tea. This one looks like yanggang!”
“When you’re in pain like you’re dying, eat this yanggang. But the medicine is strong, so it’s like poison, so you have to be careful when eating it. Understand? Ren.”
“Yeah! I got it!!”
“Sigh. Today I failed to persuade you again.”
“I’m sorry.”
The old man smiled wistfully.
“Here. Take this with you.”
I preciously held the bundle the old man handed me in my arms. I also fiddled with the necklace the old man gave me. Somehow this makes me feel reassured.
“To the capital.”
The old man even saw me off. Without looking back at the old man following behind me with his cane, I hesitantly spoke.
“To the capital, I won’t die, right?”
“You won’t die.”
“Thank you.”
I turned around and bowed my head deeply.
“Ren-ah. You must be careful.”
I just nodded and ran frantically. Tears flowed.
I hate parting with the old man. But because I’m happy to go with hyung, because I’m happy to leave this village, tears kept flowing. My feelings are complicated. But I don’t know when this opportunity will come again. It wouldn’t be strange for me to die anytime, and hyung… it wouldn’t be strange for hyung to leave anytime.
Perhaps this time might be the last time between hyung and me.
So I’m going to think of it as a trip.
The last happy trip with hyung given to my life!
So I absolutely won’t be a burden. Absolutely, absolutely!!
I hugged the bundle tightly as if it were my lifeline.
In the dawn submerged in blue light, climbing the hill to the cabin, I took in the dawn that might be my last in this village.
***
I secretly went out and came back and fell asleep again, but when I woke up to a presence and went out to the living room, Ruman was standing there firmly!
It’s time to go! What was coming has come!
I gulped and peeked around.
“Where’s hyung?”
“He went to get a carriage for you to ride.”
“I can walk too…”
“Can you ride a horse?”
“That’s…”
“Can you ride on the back of a horse?”
“Of course I can!!”
I can endure through grit and tenacity! What do you take me for?
“Haha. Come on, Ren. If you ride with that dried-up twisted butt, the horse will buck and throw you off, you know? Human bones are surprisingly hard and painful. Did you pack all your luggage?”
“I’m all done.”
“That tasteless tea too?”
“It’s perfect for my taste?? Don’t even ask for any. Don’t even touch it!”
“Such a temper. You’ve fought with all the villagers, haven’t you?”
“……”
“Really?”
“Just let’s go!!”
Stomp stomp stomp.
I went to my room and gathered my precious bundle and small flowerpot.
First, I’ll put the flowerpot down and carry it.
Ugh.
As I shouldered the bundle, a big hand swooped in and snatched the bundle away. When I looked up with a bewildered face, Ruman raised his eyebrow.
“You don’t even have a bag?”
“Are you looking down on me right now?!”
“Want a snack?”
“……”
Geez. What do you take me for?
I properly put on my crumpled shoes, firmly held the flowerpot in my hand, then held out my hand to Ruman.
“Give it here.”
“Pfft… Puhuhuk…”
“Fuck!!”
“Puhahaha!! Ren! Let’s go together!”
Teasing someone with food? What a wicked person.
“Here.”
“I don’t need it!!”
“It’s a famous snack from the capital. It’s called macaron, even young ladies are going crazy because they can’t get it.”
It’s that famous?
When I looked with suspicious eyes, Ruman smiled, fully utilizing his handsome face, telling me to trust him.
As if I’d fall for it!! I was already embarrassed for asking for it earlier!! I can’t ask again.
When I smacked his hand away, the macaron flew.
“…Ah… That…”
Ah… No, I… I didn’t know I’d drop it…
“I’m sorry……”
Why am I like this! Even though he’s hyung’s colleague, was that too harsh? Why isn’t he saying anything? My head kept dropping lower.
“Ren.”
I can’t even answer.
If I do wrong, I have to be punished. This is my fault so… even if I get hit, there’s nothing I can do. Since he’s a Hero, it’ll hurt more, right?
I squeezed my eyes shut preparing for the incoming slap, but Ruman kept telling me to lift my head.
Ah! He must want to slap my cheek. Yeah, that’s better than the head. They say if you get hit on the head, you get dumber!
I lifted my head with my eyes squeezed shut.
Huh?
His hand pressed firmly on my cheek, opening my mouth, and something soft and chewy entered. When I reflexively chewed, smooth cream stimulated my tongue. It felt like my salivary glands were exploding.
When I opened my eyes wide, Ruman clicked his tongue. Beside him lingered the light cluster I’d seen last night.
“Delicious, right? How wasteful would it have been if it fell on the floor?”
“……”
Sh-should I say thank you? I should, right?
As I rolled my eyes while chewing the macaron filling my mouth, Ruman put his arm around my shoulders.
“No need for thanks. I’ll count what I received.”
“……”
Maybe this person isn’t as wicked as I thought.
“Now, let’s go~ Say goodbye to the cabin. You won’t be back for a while?”
“…I don’t need to.”
I don’t have great affection for it.
I only waited with attachment because it was the place hyung would return to.
My home is where hyung is.
I said that, but inwardly I said goodbye to the cabin where I’d stayed. I had resolved on the way back from the old man’s house, but still, my feelings were strange.
The feeling of leaving is this mysterious, strange, and frightening. Hyung must have endured this feeling alone every time, right?
Hyung must have had a hard time too.
I felt like I was going to cry. That’s because the macaron is too sweet and delicious!!
“Ren. Have you seen magic before?”
“I haven’t… is that not okay?”
Are you looking down on me? I thought you were a good person but I take it back, I take it back!
Ruman patted my shoulder. When I looked up, light was quietly swirling in his hand. Unlike yesterday when it seemed like it would sharply devour and tear everything, it was warm and quiet light.
When Ruman gestured slightly, the light cluster changed into golden spears and circled around the cabin, bang bang bang, stabbing in an instant… then like pollen scattering, they burst with a pop! and disappeared. The area around the cabin was the same scenery as before, as if nothing had happened! If not for the small lights flying around, I would have thought I was standing and dreaming.
“Wow……”
“Ahem. Let’s go.”
I couldn’t even pay attention to Ruman grabbing my wrist and kept looking back.
So cool…….
So cool!
What was that just now? What!!
I turned my head and looked at Ruman with sparkling eyes.
Ruman, who only kept clearing his throat, was busy playing dumb. But the corners of his mouth seemed to be twitching somehow.
“What’s your ability?? What was that just now?”
“Trade secret.”
“……”
“Hmm. If you listen well, I’ll tell you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“…Okay.”
Tsk.
I actually listen well, you know? What does this person take me for?
When I grumbled and said okay, Ruman patted the back of my head.
What!!
When I jumped and hit his arm, Ruman made a hurt expression. The corners of his lips subtly drooped and sadness cast over his confident golden eyes.
“No, that so suddenly like that… uh…”
Fuck!! Why am I really like this!
To someone who gave me snacks and showed me magic!!
As I mumbled and trailed off, Ruman gently shook his head. His platinum blonde hair that looked scorched by sunlight blew in the wind.
“It’s okay. Ren. I didn’t know you disliked it that much. I’ll apologize.”
“No……”
“Shall we go?”
Why is he apologizing! Aren’t I the one who did wrong?? What is this person!
The villagers blamed me for their own mistakes!! They were idiots who always pretended to be victims and only asked for help……!
“Uh…”
As my steps slowed, Ruman looked back at me.
“Uh……”
“Ren?”
“I’m… sorry.”
Ugh!! The words won’t come out! It’s embarrassing and humiliating!
My toes felt like they were curling up and disappearing. This doesn’t suit me! Why is this so difficult? Have I become a loser who can’t even apologize? This person isn’t one of those who bullied me!
I lifted my bowed head abruptly and grabbed Ruman’s arm tightly!
Because he’s tall, I couldn’t see Ruman’s face well. Using his arm as support, I stood on my tiptoes and looked straight into Ruman’s widened eyes.
“I’m sorry!!”
“What are you sorry for…”
“I’m sorry for hitting your arm!!!”
“Okay, I got it! Ren! I got it so let go of my hand! More than that, your face…!”
Ruman’s face seemed to have reddened a bit.
Was it burdensome?
“Ugh.”
“You need to be careful…! Phew.”
When I staggered, unable to keep my balance, Ruman held my arm.
Physical contact with other people is burdensome.
When I glanced at him with a glare, Ruman quickly let go.
“I shouldn’t joke around.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. Temarr will be waiting.”
When I turned at Ruman’s muttering, he smiled with a reddened face.
The morning sun was rising.
“The brothers are aggressive, in different ways.”
Ruman muttered something behind me but I couldn’t hear it well.
Seeing Temarr hyung standing tall waiting at the village entrance, I ran with all my might, completely forgetting about Ruman.
“Hyuuuung—!”
What does fighting last night matter!
What’s that! I forgot it all!
Yanggang (양갱) – A type of sweet jelly confection (referenced as appearance of medicine)
