# Chapter 92
After Kwon Dojin’s not-quite bullying incident, we weren’t bothered by anyone while wandering around the amusement park grounds. Of course, there were people who flinched or fidgeted as if they wanted to approach whenever they saw Kwon Dojin and Baek Han, but it never escalated into a commotion.
Thankfully, this meant we could avoid making terrible choices like going to the haunted house. However, perhaps because we now had some freedom, my lingering desire for the rides grew stronger.
“This won’t do.”
“What won’t?”
“I’m going to ride some attractions.”
“What about us?”
“Those who want to live should live.”
Apparently Baek Han felt the same way, as he left behind a strange remark and abandoned Dojin and me to go ride the attractions. That heartless guy.
“Habin.”
“Uh, what?”
“Should we go on some rides too?”
Kwon Dojin bent slightly at the waist to meet my eyes. Despite being the one to suggest it, he seemed reluctant, his complexion somewhat pale. He looked like he might break into a cold sweat if I enthusiastically agreed to go.
Why would he suggest riding attractions when just thinking about them makes him uncomfortable? He could have just pretended not to notice even if I wanted to ride them.
Seriously—
“What am I to you.”
“Hm?”
What I meant to think silently accidentally slipped out. Fortunately, I had whispered it so quietly that Kwon Dojin didn’t seem to hear. He tilted his head questioningly, and I repeatedly told him it was nothing.
“So, shall we go ride something?”
“You—”
Seeing him ask again while pretending to be calm despite clearly disliking the idea, I was momentarily at a loss for words.
“…Is there anything you can actually ride?”
“Huh? Me?”
“Yeah. You.”
It would be better to find something we could ride together than to drag someone who’s scared onto an attraction. And I didn’t mind if it wasn’t a thrilling ride like the Viking ship or roller coaster. I just wanted to ride something, anything.
“But—”
“Don’t hold back. Just tell me. What can you ride?”
“Hmm. The Ferris wheel?”
“That? Are you sure that’s okay?”
“Since it doesn’t feel unstable…”
I think it should be fine.
Kwon Dojin’s voice trailed off, as if he wasn’t entirely convinced even as he said it himself. Rather than choosing something uncertain, it seemed better to select something safer in many respects, so I boldly eliminated the Ferris wheel.
Besides, Dojin didn’t seem to know exactly what he could ride. A ride that doesn’t go too high and is moderately enjoyable—
“I can only think of one thing right now.”
“What is it?”
“Let’s go ride the carousel.”
“The carousel? Are you really okay with that?”
Although he had already shown relief at the word “carousel,” his question was filled with sincere intent to follow my wishes. I lightly tapped his shoulder as he spoke as if we could go ride something else.
“Be selfish.”
“It’s because you can’t ride other things because of me.”
“It’s not that I can’t ride them because of you, it’s that I’m choosing not to. If I wanted to go by myself like Baek Han, I would have.”
I grabbed the arm of the blank-faced Kwon Dojin and looked around to figure out where we were. Kwon Dojin, who had been hesitating, only cast aside his uncertainty after I stuck close to him, unfolded a map, and emphasized that he should find the way.
“This path seems faster.”
“Isn’t that not the main path? It looks a bit unkempt.”
“Should we go around then?”
“Hmm… let’s just go quickly. It should be fine since you’re here.”
As I stepped forward confidently, I felt something hard against my abdomen. Looking down, I saw Kwon Dojin’s arm. Only then did I realize that I had unconsciously linked arms with him while looking at the map together.
“Habin?”
“Ah, it’s nothing. Let’s go.”
Kwon Dojin immediately turned his gaze to me, perhaps because I had unconsciously hesitated. Not wanting to seem embarrassed by suddenly becoming self-conscious, I pretended nothing was wrong and followed him.
Unfortunately, we were in a place with few people around, so I couldn’t find a natural excuse to unlink our arms. Though I was walking and talking with Kwon Dojin as usual, all my attention was focused on our linked arms.
Glancing up at him, I noticed a faint smile on his lips. Since he always had that expression when he was with me, it seemed he didn’t mind our linked arms at all.
“Where should we go after the carousel?”
“Hmm, would the safari be okay now?”
“It should be fine, since fights won’t likely break out.”
Kwon Dojin tapped his fingers together and nodded seriously. Unlike him, who reached a clear conclusion to the rhythm of his tapping, I was still troubled.
I was the one who linked arms first, but do friends even link arms?
My mind was a complicated mess just from linking arms once. It seemed like we’d done worse things than this before, but I couldn’t be sure. I really don’t know.
“There aren’t many people.”
At Kwon Dojin’s voice, I quickly raised my head and looked around to find we were near the carousel.
When did we get here?
Feeling as if we had teleported, I blinked rapidly. Unaware of my mental state, Kwon Dojin calmly got in line for the carousel. As he said, there weren’t many people, perhaps because it was still daytime, so we’d probably be able to ride next.
As I absently watched the carousel spinning round and round to the music, I realized this was the perfect moment to unlink our arms.
Just then, the music ended and the carousel stopped. I quietly withdrew my arm as we moved with the flow of people. Then I looked up to check Kwon Dojin’s reaction, but he merely glanced down at his arm.
Feeling relieved at his lack of reaction, which was quite natural when you think about it, I wiped my chest in relief. Now that I had unlinked our arms that had been complicating my thoughts, I moved with a lighter step.
“May I see your tickets?”
“Yes.”
Standing side by side with Kwon Dojin, we showed the paper bracelets on our left wrists and went inside. As we circled the central pillar looking for suitable seats, I noticed that there were surprisingly many guardians with children or couples.
In other words, there were few if any pairs of friends like us.
“The horse would be better, right?”
“Yeah. Let’s do that.”
Normally, I wouldn’t care about our surroundings, but once I became conscious of our linked arms, it was hard to ignore. But if I hesitated now, wouldn’t Kwon Dojin ask why?
Since I didn’t know how to answer that, I had to pretend that nothing was wrong.
“I’ll help you up.”
“What are you talking about, helping me when your arm is injured? I can get on by myself.”
I grabbed the pole of the horse confidently, ignoring Kwon Dojin’s outstretched hand. I could feel his gaze from behind, as if he was still watching me.
I glanced back and, sure enough, Kwon Dojin was standing within arm’s reach, looking at me.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing, so hurry up and get on.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll get on too.”
Kwon Dojin waved his arm, telling me not to worry about him. That actually made me worry more, but I couldn’t keep this standoff going, so I raised my foot.
After properly stepping on the footrest, I used the momentum to lift myself up and settled into position. Mentally congratulating myself on the clean, smooth movement, I looked at Kwon Dojin with satisfaction and saw he was wearing a faint smile.
“…What’s that smile for?”
“Well, I’m just thinking you get on well by yourself.”
“Of course I do.”
My expression naturally hardened, wondering if he really thought I couldn’t even do this by myself. As I stared at him with raised eyebrows, Kwon Dojin shrugged once and got on the horse right next to mine. Seeing him respond like that, I couldn’t stay angry and just pouted my lips.
“Kwon Dojin.”
“What is it?”
He immediately looked up at me, pausing as he was organizing his things. He shifted from his proper riding position to turn and face me.
“Just wondering why you suddenly became afraid of heights.”
I briefly wondered if he was allowed to sit like that, but then I figured it was fine for someone of his rank who lives and dies by appearances. I also relaxed my proper posture, leaning my forehead against the pole in front of me, and looked back at Kwon Dojin.
“I mentioned falling down stairs when I was young, maybe that’s why?”
He shook his head gently, saying he wasn’t sure himself. Is it a lie or the truth? I knew there was no reason for him to lie, but I couldn’t help wondering if he was hiding something related to Ji Haecheon.
So I stared intently at Kwon Dojin with narrowed eyes, and although he met my gaze at first, he seemed uncomfortable and rolled his eyes around.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No. Nothing. It’s just that I unconsciously thought you’d be fine with anything.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Like you wouldn’t be scared of anything or dislike anything? It’s a ridiculous thought.”
Perhaps that perception came from his rank. Kwon Dojin burst out laughing at my words and tilted his head slightly.
“So. Do you dislike me now that I have fears?”
Kwon Dojin’s eyes sparkled as he raised his tone playfully. As if accompanying his mischievousness, a breeze blew gently. The hair scattered by the gentle wind tickled my eyes, forcing me to close and reopen them.
“…Of course not.”
A bit delayed, but the answer came out without even having to think about it. I don’t dislike him. I wasn’t disappointed either. It would be more ridiculous to dislike someone for something like that.
Kwon Dojin opened his eyes wide in surprise at my words, then immediately folded the corners of his eyes into a bright smile. His slightly flushed cheeks gave the impression of peeking at something intimate, making me unconsciously avoid his gaze.
“It makes me happy to hear you say that.”
“We will now begin. Giddyup~”
Suddenly the announcement ended, and the carousel began to move with bright, mysterious music. Thanks to that, I missed the proper moment to respond and pressed my forehead against the pole in front, lowering my head.
Was it because of the appearance Kwon Dojin had just shown? Floating, as if flaunting its presence, a fragment of some emotion tried to rise. At the same time, I instinctively realized that it was completely different from anything I had experienced before.
Not now, that’s right. Not yet.
Then when? The only answer I could give to the newly risen question was silence, as I chose to retreat while pushing down the unfamiliar emotion.
Today, I seemed full of things I didn’t understand.
