# Epilogue 1. Only the Grade Has Changed (1)
With less than an hour left before the exam started, I kept my eyes fixed on the textbook while unwrapping a chocolate. It had melted a bit from being in my hand, but the taste was still good, so I nodded with satisfaction.
“Haven’t you finished studying?”
“I have, but I still need to check.”
“You’re relentless, absolutely relentless.”
Baek Han, who arrived somewhat later than usual, roughly dropped his bag and practically fell into his chair. Judging by the fatigue visible on his face, he must have stayed up late studying yesterday.
“You look like you’ve been studying hard too.”
“Compared to the amount you’ve done, I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘hard studying’.”
He chuckled and rummaged through his bag, then handed me an ion drink. In exchange, I gave him a chocolate, which he immediately unwrapped and popped into his mouth.
“It was a one-plus-one deal, right?”
“What about you?”
“Mmm. Same for me, I guess.”
After reading the last line, I closed the textbook. As I was feeling thirsty, I drank the ion drink just as the warning bell rang. Rolling my eyes to check the time, I realized it was time to pack up and move to a different classroom.
“Our first period is math, right?”
“Yeah.”
Baek Han stood up with his unpacked belongings and nodded. Recognizing his signal to hurry, I put down the bottle and repacked my things.
“Ready to go?”
“How did you get here so quickly? It hasn’t even been a minute since the bell rang.”
“Never mind that—why are you even here when you don’t need to move classrooms? You’re not even in this class.”
Hearing the familiar voice behind me, I tilted my head back to find, of course, Kwon Dojin standing there.
“I have to escort Habin.”
“Seriously unbelievable.”
Baek Han clicked his tongue, but since this was a reaction we’d all become accustomed to, no one paid it any attention. As I stood up with my bag, Kwon Dojin took it from my hands and led the way. I followed beside him, with Baek Han trailing behind.
“Baek Han, do you want to study together after the exam?”
I took a chocolate from my pocket, unwrapped it, and held it up to Kwon Dojin’s mouth. Baek Han looked at me with a momentarily speechless expression, then shook his head.
“I don’t want to get caught between you two and suffer, so I’ll pass.”
“Mmm, okay.”
I was a little disappointed, but I thought I caught a glimpse of happiness in Kwon Dojin’s expression, so I decided not to insist. Come to think of it, he does seem to prefer being alone with me.
“Good luck on your exam.”
Outside the classroom where I’d arrived, Kwon Dojin fidgeted with my hand, expressing his reluctance to part. I smiled softly at him as he acted like we wouldn’t see each other for at least a week. I gave him a light hug.
“You need to focus on your exam too, so don’t come down every break time and concentrate.”
“…That’s a bit difficult.”
“Since it’s hard for me too having to watch this scene, why don’t you just go in already?”
At Baek Han’s urging, I comforted and coaxed the sulking Kwon Dojin, who wanted to meet during break time too, and sent him back to his classroom. Even without Baek Han’s push, I would’ve had to send him up anyway since the exam was about to start.
Is it because our classes are different now that we’re second-years? Dojin always wants to be together during breaks, since our time together at school has decreased. But we can’t do that during exams.
“He really never gets tired of it, does he?”
“I know, right.”
Honestly, I thought Baek Han was just as bad, always complaining whenever this happened, but I kept that to myself. I wasn’t that tactless.
“Hm?”
After putting down my bag, I habitually checked the desk drawer and felt something catch my hand. Just like yesterday, it seemed the desk’s owner hadn’t cleared out the drawer.
Grumbling silently to myself, I wondered what it would be today, and found it was jelly. And attached to the hand-sized bear jelly packet was a note.
‘This is definitely for you, Sunbae-nim. Since you didn’t take it yesterday… Good luck on your exam!’
Objectively speaking, it wasn’t pretty handwriting. Whoever this first-year was who wrote the note probably wasn’t good at writing.
“But for me?”
Left for me? Why?
I tilted my head in confusion at this incomprehensible behavior. Could it be that they meant to leave it for Baek Han but confused the seats?
“What’s wrong?”
Baek Han, who was sitting two rows over, approached me. He must have heard my voice. It wasn’t surprising since the classroom was quiet.
“This was in the desk drawer.”
I handed him the jelly so he could see the note. After skimming it, he snickered and placed the jelly back in my hand.
“Lee Habin, seriously, when you think about it, you’re quite popular.”
“Who? Me?”
I shook my head at this nonsensical statement. Coming from Baek Han, who could be considered the epitome of popularity, such a comment felt like teasing and had absolutely no credibility.
“Anyway, this isn’t mine, it’s yours, isn’t it?”
“You said it was in this desk drawer. Then it’s yours, why would it be mine?”
“Because there’s no way someone would give this to me. It’s more plausible that they meant to give it to you but confused the seats.”
“Um…”
While Baek Han and I were actively discussing the jelly’s owner, a thin voice interrupted. Turning toward the sound, I saw a first-year junior with an awkward expression.
“That really is for Habin Sunbae-nim.”
“…Really for me?”
“Yes.”
Thinking I might have misheard, I asked again, and the junior nodded firmly. Seeing this, Baek Han patted my back as if to say ‘See?’
“Congratulations.”
“Uh, I don’t think it’s something to be congratulated for.”
As I looked down at the jelly with a deflated expression, Baek Han finally stopped laughing and whispered seriously.
“But what are we going to do about this kid?”
“Mmm, yeah…”
The “kid” Baek Han referred to was, needless to say, the one who gave me this jelly. Despite not knowing their face or even their gender, I felt just a tiny bit—really just a tiny bit—concerned.
I probably need to keep this a secret from Dojin, right? I just strongly felt that was the best course of action.
* * *
“Hmm-.”
I see. Dojin, not bothering to hide his displeased expression, tilted his head with his chin resting on his hand. Seeing this gesture urging me to continue the story, I swallowed dryly and inwardly blamed Baek Han for causing this mess.
“That’s all…”
“Did you eat it? The jelly.”
As soon as the first exam of the day ended, Baek Han and I had diligently shared and eaten it, but feeling like admitting that would ruin today’s study session, I remained silent.
As I kept my lips tightly shut, avoiding Dojin’s gaze with my head bowed, a small sigh escaped from him.
“You did eat it.”
“…It definitely wasn’t just me who ate it.”
“But you still ate it.”
That’s right. To state the conclusion, I ate it deliciously.
But I couldn’t just blame the food and throw it in the trash, could I? And it wasn’t even a jelly I disliked. If I had to be specific, it was a jelly I occasionally thought about and bought. But since the atmosphere had developed as if I’d done something terribly wrong, I meekly kept my head down.
“Habin.”
“Mmm, I’m listening.”
“I’m really upset.”
When Dojin murmured weakly, my conscience hurt. When I raised my head, I saw his face, eyes downcast, drenched in melancholy.
“Habin, you surely knew what that jelly meant.”
“Well, about that-.”
“And yet you ate it.”
Haah, Dojin sighed again. With each of his sighs, the weight pressing down on my conscience grew heavier.
“You know I’d never look at anyone else but you, right?”
“That’s a separate issue.”
“True… So, about the jelly-.”
I had nothing to say. If I’d known it would come to this, I shouldn’t have eaten the jelly. I should have given it to Baek Han or someone else. Even if I wanted to eat it, I should have held back and bought one at the convenience store after school.
I’ve dug my own grave, placed myself in the coffin, and covered it with dirt. Realizing how pathetic any excuse would sound, I chose to simply raise both arms in surrender.
“I was wrong.”
As I readily admitted my mistake and showed a repentant attitude, Dojin glanced at me. Noticing this, I quickly lowered my head again, and this time a different kind of sigh reached my ears.
Realizing it contained the meaning that he would reluctantly let it go, I cautiously raised my gaze. Our eyes met immediately, causing my shoulders to flinch, but he softened his expression and patted his thigh.
Understanding perfectly what this meant from past experience, I rose and hurriedly moved to his side. As I gently perched on his thigh, his arms wrapped around my waist as if he’d been waiting for this.
Come to think of it, he really seems to like this position. Thanks to that, I’d become so accustomed to it that I sometimes felt empty without it.
“If you want jelly, just tell me.”
“I will.”
“Next time, if someone tries something like that again, don’t accept it, just throw it away.”
“Mmm. That’s a bit-.”
I quickly swallowed the words ‘Wouldn’t that be wasteful?’ after seeing the ominous flicker in his eyes.
“Then, I’ll throw it away. Of course I’ll throw it away.”
As I flipped my statement as easily as turning over my palm, he looked at me suspiciously for a moment before finally showing a satisfied expression.
Based on what I’d learned about his thought process during our year together, I could guess that he was thinking: it’s good if I keep my promise, but even if I don’t, he can use it as leverage to get what he wants, so it doesn’t matter. Isn’t that what he’s thinking?
“Habin?”
“Mmm? What is it?”
Perhaps noticing I was lost in thought, Kwon Dojin called me, and I shook my head.
“What are you thinking about so intently when I’m right here?”
As Kwon Dojin nuzzled his cheek against my nape, saying he felt a little hurt, I gently patted his back.
“Just thinking about you.”
As he smiled brightly and hugged me more tightly, I hugged him back and inwardly sighed with relief. It seemed like things would blow over more easily than I had anticipated, which was nothing short of fortunate.
so sweet that my teeth hurt