# Chapter 23
“Hyung. Do you want to kiss?”
“Wh… What?”
Jaehwi slightly shifted his gaze to look at the rearview mirror. Jay, who had just heard his words, also glanced at the rearview mirror while driving.
“I’m simple-minded, so when you look at me like that, I misunderstand.”
“Min Jaehwi!”
Unlike Jaehwi’s low and quiet tone, as calm as if asking ‘What’s for dinner tonight?’, Raon’s high and unstable voice echoed inside the car.
“Just kidding. But aren’t you hungry?”
When Jay looked forward again, Jaehwi slightly raised the corner of his mouth. Honestly, he hadn’t decided how to act moving forward. He wasn’t even certain how long he could remain as a good child to his hyung.
But one thing had been determined from the start. No matter how much he turned his inner self inside out, thought in reverse, or tried to find another path, there was only one conclusion. Kang Raon was his.
It was merely a matter of time—when Raon would become his. He needed to make Raon his own as inconspicuously as possible, like clothes getting wet in a drizzle without anyone noticing, not even Raon himself.
Raon turned his head toward the window as Jaehwi gently rubbed his stomach, genuinely wondering if he was hungry. He had briefly entertained impure thoughts while looking at Jaehwi’s lips, but who would have thought Jaehwi would say such things in that situation?
His body, which had been close to Jaehwi, slowly edged toward the window. It was just a low-quality joke that close friends might make.
“Are you hungry?”
Raon spoke while looking at his reflection in the window. He was grateful for the darkness. If it had been bright, his flushed face, hot enough to burst, would have been exposed.
“Well. A little.”
“Ah. You…”
Pressing his hot cheeks with his hands, Raon hurriedly searched for the stabilizer. In the confusion, he had forgotten the most important thing. He quickly opened the stabilizer box between himself and Jaehwi. He was told there were two pills, but one was missing.
Jaehwi was smirking as he watched Raon fumble around. It seemed he had already taken one before Raon could.
“Jay. Go to the hotel. He’s not hungry enough yet. Let him order room service by himself when we get there.”
His irritated feelings suddenly surfaced. From the moment he woke up, he felt caught up in Jaehwi’s pace. It was all because that guy was prancing around in black clothes.
“Hwi. Don’t wear black clothes anymore.”
“What? Why?”
“What’s so pretty about walking around in black clothes? Come to think of it, all your clothes seem to be black. Do you like black clothes?”
His random thoughts had shifted to the black clothes Jaehwi was wearing.
Jaehwi already knew Raon’s heart rate was faster than usual. Plus, his voice was a little higher, and the fact that all of this was because of him was satisfying. But he couldn’t give an honest answer about the black clothes.
“They gave them to me.”
Working in the field, sometimes he got injured or got other people’s blood on him. Black was the best color for hiding unpleasant bloodstains. Even now, these clothes were concealing the blood he had shed today. It was also good for using darkness. At first, he wore what NCSC gave him, and after the name Nox was attached to him, it naturally became that way.
“Ah, really. Min Jaehwi.”
Sometimes Jaehwi drove Raon crazy. So casually, so indifferently, his words struck Raon’s heart. The word that he was fine. Just like now, the phrase “they gave them to me” represented his unspoken past.
“Let’s go shopping for clothes. Don’t ever wear such black clothes from now on.”
“But I’m Nox.”
“Hey!”
As the conversation continued, Raon shouted in frustration. Suddenly, Jaehwi’s laughter rang out. His bright and joyful laughter, like that of a child, didn’t easily subside. He seemed to try to stop laughing several times, but it was useless, and he eventually even coughed.
“Ah… I really can’t live because of you, hyung. Then should I wear white clothes from now on? As Nox?”
Was that the only reason he laughed so hard? Raon hit Jaehwi’s arm in disbelief.
“Wow, I really don’t understand kids’ sense of humor. Seeing you’re fine, you definitely took the stabilizer… Jay. Just drop Hwi off and let’s go. I’m not buying you clothes. Wear black or red, do whatever you want.”
“Kang Raon.”
When Jaehwi, who had been laughing pleasantly until a moment ago, became serious and called his full name, Raon’s eyes widened. It wasn’t the first time—how many times had he called his name like this now?
“Kang Raon? Kang. Ra. On? Are we equals now? Our Min Jaehwi has grown up a lot.”
“Hyung. I’m in pain.”
As Jaehwi whined that he was in pain, lowering his voice and leaning his head on Raon’s shoulder, Raon sighed. Jaehwi already had Raon in the palm of his hand, playing with him. But he couldn’t escape it. If it was him, not someone else, he could move however Jaehwi wanted.
“You just took a stabilizer, and from what I can see, you seem fine.”
“If you’re leaving, tuck me in before you go.”
“What kind of sleep fussiness is this for a grown man? Just turn off the lights, close your eyes, and sleep. If you still can’t sleep, have a glass of whiskey. If that doesn’t work, take a hot shower.”
“Why are you acting like this?”
“What do you mean? You do whatever it takes to fall asleep.”
“I just need you, hyung.”
Raon, about to say more, closed his mouth firmly. While they were bickering, the car had arrived at the hotel where Jaehwi was currently staying.
Before Jay could open the door, Jaehwi opened it himself and got out. Raon couldn’t decide whether he should really follow him or go to his own home, but he headed toward the open door.
“Don’t get out.”
“Huh? No, you’re now…”
“If you’re here, I’ll sleep well, but you’re uncomfortable, right? See you tomorrow.”
Before Raon could get out, the door that had been open closed, and although nothing was said, Jay started the car. Raon turned his head to look at Jaehwi standing there. Suddenly, going home alone, a feeling of regret washed over him.
What’s wrong with just hugging and sleeping… No, it is a problem.
Raon buried his face in both hands and leaned back in the seat. Compared to the pure Jaehwi, he was too corrupted by society.
* * *
Raon tapped the car steering wheel with his fingertips. Inside the car stopped at a red light, the sound of tapping on the steering wheel gradually accelerated and finally ended with a sigh.
Holding the steering wheel with his right hand, he bit his left index finger again.
Raon stopped the car in front of the hotel, handed the keys to the valet, and took the file.
It was late, and he had even sent Jay home. Raon, carrying a file, went to the hotel alone.
He had showered and was about to fall asleep in bed. He remembered what he had said to Hyukjin, and the file that Jay had followed him into his house and left on the table held him back.
Jaehwi’s Guide list.
After tossing and turning for 30 minutes, Raon put on a long coat over his pajamas. And exactly 20 minutes later, now, he was entering the hotel lobby.
Watching the numbers rise on the elevator display, Raon bit his lower lip tightly. This was the first time in his life he had acted so impulsively. He remembered Jaehwi’s mention of insomnia. Was he asleep?
As he stepped forward on the soft hotel carpet lit by soft lights, Raon’s footsteps slowed. Although he had a room key, Raon hesitated in front of the door.
He couldn’t decide whether to use the key to quietly enter, pretend nothing happened, place it on the table, and leave, or to see Jaehwi’s face directly and hand it over properly.
What resolved Raon’s dilemma was the door that opened silently. Raon often forgot that Jaehwi was an Esper. Jaehwi might have known since the moment Raon arrived at the hotel.
Entering through the open door, Raon’s eyes scanned the room. He turned toward the sound of a clicking door.
Jaehwi’s bedroom, the one Raon had first assigned to him. Although he could have moved to the main room since it was now his place, Jaehwi stood in front of the guest room. Jaehwi, wearing a robe over his pajamas, stood with his head bowed.
“You’re still not asleep. You mentioned insomnia, but how can you stay up so late? You should at least try to sleep.”
Feeling awkward, Raon mumbled to himself as he carefully placed the file he had been clutching on the side table.
“Did I wake you up? If so, I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to wake you, but I thought I should give you the file in advance. As I mentioned in the situation room, you have a compatibility test tomorrow. Knowing your counterpart beforehand will be at least a little helpful. Please check the file tomorrow morning.”
When Jaehwi maintained his silence, Raon offered excuses. He had put the file on the table and said everything he needed to say, so all that was left was to turn around and leave. All the lights were off, but there was no major inconvenience in seeing the surroundings with the light coming in from outside the window.
“Hyung is…”
The soft carpet muffled the sound of slippers. Although it was a very small voice, Jaehwi was clearly addressing him. But Raon, unable to hear properly, simply watched as Jaehwi approached him.
There was no wasted movement as he bent over to pick up the file and leaf through it. Unfortunately, since Jaehwi was standing in a shadowy spot, Raon couldn’t see his expression. As the sound of pages turning rustled, Raon swallowed the saliva that had gathered in his mouth.
